"Chaise, go find Percy. Dinner is almost ready." Stephano sighed, wiping his hands with a wet kitchen towel.
I nodded, walking out of the kitchen to search for my pink haired friend.
"Piggeh?" I called out, checking the living room.
"Piggeh? Dinner is almost ready!" I called again, looking into Piggeh's messy bedroom.
Where is that pumped up idiot?
"Hey, Pewds? Have you seen Piggeh?" I asked, standing in Pewdie's bedroom doorway as he got ready for dinner with Marzia.
Pewds turned off the blow dryer and turned to me, smiling happily. "Yeah, he was in the basement I think... Just make sure to knock first before going to get him." He said with a smirk, turning the blow dryer back on.
"What do you mean by that?" I asked, trying to be a bit louder than the dryer.
Pewds waved his hand, signaling me to let him get ready for his date.
Ugh. I left his room and closed the door behind me, then trotted down the stairs to the basement. I heard Piggeh's EDM music playing through the door and took Felix's advice of knocking first. The music turned down, and I knocked again.
"Uh, Come in?" Piggeh called.
I opened the door and walked in, seeing him stretched out on the sofa with his laptop on his stomach. He closed it as soon as he saw me, putting it down in between the cushions. His eyes were open wider than usual and his smirk was almost big enough to spilt his face in two.
"Yo, Mr. Chair." He said, propping himself up on his elbows.
"Hey, Percy.. Dinner is almost ready." I said, noting his strange behavior.
"Oh, cool. What's Stephano makin'?" He said, standing up and stretching, glancing back at his computer.
I bit the inside of my cheek, unable to recall what Stephano had called it. "French something or another..."
He rolled his eyes. "Ugh! We've had French something or another three times this week!" He said sarcastically.
I huffed, crossing my arms. Living with him can be pretty... obnoxious.
"So... What were you doing? On your laptop?" I asked.
Piggeh's smirk grew wider. "Oh, you know. Reading."
"Oh, really? I thought you didn't care for literature! What was it you were reading?" I asked, surprised that he was actually reading for once.
"Stuff. By this really great author." He yawned.
Why is he being so vague?
"Oh, really? That's great. Is he or she an author I'd be familiar with?"
Piggeh shook his head. "Nah, you wouldn't know her. She's awesome, but I don't think you've ever read something like this." He laughed softly.
"Well, are you going to tell me?" I asked, tapping my foot impatiently.
"I think we have dinner to eat, Chaise." He said, walking up the stairs. He stopped about halfway and turned back, coming to stand right in front of me. He tilted his head and placed a hand on each side of my face, then leaned in and kissed me. He pulled away and licked his lips, then darted up the stairs.
I stood at the bottom of the stairs in shock, unable to move a single inch. What in hell? Did he just... What? That isn't the first time that he has... but why now? I slowly made my way up the stairs, wondering what that was all about and if Piggeh planned on explaining. I walked into the dining room and sat down at the round table, right across from Piggeh.
"Pommes duchesse et pot-au-feu. Bon apetit!" Stephano said, placing the plates of food on the table. He sat down and began eating, totally ignoring the fog of awkward hanging around the room.
We ate in silence until Pewds ran by, heading towards the door to leave for his date. "Later, bros! Don't wait up!" He called, slamming the front door behind him.
Stephano shook his head. "Mon dieu, he's always running off somewhere." He chuckled softly.
I felt something run up and down my leg and almost choked on a piece of potato. I looked under the table just in time to see Piggeh fold his leg back under his seat, though he never looked up from his food. Stephano looked at me and tilted his head, eyes narrowed.
"Mr. Chair, are you alright?"
I nodded. "Yes, I'm fine. Just a large carrot or piece of potato..." I explained.
Stephano nodded and looked back to his meal.
It happened again, but this time when I jumped, Piggeh looked up.
"Chaise, are you sure you're alright?" He asked with fake innocence, magenta eyes puddled with mischief.
Stephano turned his head to me, seeming to not notice that my spasms were caused by the sleazy pink demon sitting across from me.
"Fine. Thanks." I growled, taking a sip of tea. I glared at Piggeh, who simply smirked at me as he munched on French pommes... whatever.
The sound of Stephano's cell ringing in the living room was the only thing to break the awkward silence. Stephano stood, turning to us before he dashed off to get it.
"Be right back."
Piggeh put down his fork and propped his elbows on the table, lacing his fingers together and resting his chin on them. I looked up, waiting for him to speak, but he remained silent. Silently staring at me with those seductive magenta eyes. I put down my fork and huffed, crossing my arms.
"What is up with you?" I asked, the tone of my voice automatically changing to irritated.
"What ever do you mean, dearest Mr. Chair?" He asked, eyes wide and the corners of his mouth slightly curled up in a smirk.
I growled. "Don't play stupid."
"Hmm?" Was his only reply.
"You've been acting kind of... strange. Strange is an understatement. You act all weird about the author, and then you kiss me, and then you kept running your foot up and down my leg, and now you act as if you never did any of that!" I blurted out angrily.
He dropped the smirk, face looking genuinely concerned. He stood up and leaned over the table.
"Mr. Chair, you're worrying me. Are you feverish?" He asked, reaching out to feel my forehead and cheeks with the back of his hand.
I slammed my palms down on the round wooden table and stood up. I grabbed my fork and pulled it back, catching something gold in the corner of my eye. I turned my head just before I could slam the fork into Piggeh's chest, seeing Stephano right in the kitchen doorway.
Stephano's golden eyes were wide and he looked from me, to Piggeh, then back to me. He cleared his throat, and Piggeh and I sat back down in our seats.
"Well, that was my girlfriend. She needs me to help her with moving furniture and stuff... Are you two level headed enough to not commit murder while I'm gone?" He asked rather nonchalantly.
I dropped my head in shame, nodding slowly. Stephano looked to Piggeh, who raised his hands in surrender.
"Bien. But just in case..." He said, picking up his sword and clipping the sheath to his belt. "Chaise, it's your turn to take the dishes. Au revoir." He said as he waved goodbye, walking out the front door.
I sighed inwardly, deciding I had lost my apatite. I picked up mine and Stephano's plate and headed towards the kitchen sink, ready to wash dishes and go to my room to read. I filled the sink with water and added dish detergent, then began washing. I was still fuming about the incident over dinner. I heard soft footsteps on the tile floor and sighed. Another plate was added to the sink and I kept my head down.
Two arms wrapped around my waist from behind me and I gasped, dropping the plate I was holding into the water. I turned my head and was ready to yell at him for being such a blithering idiot, but he pressed his lips to mine. I opened my eyes wide and stood in shock for a minute before he pulled away and went trotting down the stairs back to the basement.
"That's it! Enough is enough!" I growled to myself, drying my hands with a towel before going after him.
I slammed the door to the basement open and stomped up to him. He partially closed the laptop and grabbed his phone, turning down his dance music. Piggeh looked up at me with an eyebrow raised, obviously trying not to grin.
"What in hell is up with you, Percy? I know you're a weird guy, but COME ON! We're housemates! What happened to the whole "no molesting housemates" rule? You're really starting to piss me off!" I hissed.
Piggeh turned his head, chuckling softly. I crossed my arms and stamped my foot.
"What in hell do you find so very funny?"
"You're really cute when you're mad." He purred.
"What? You have a lot of nerve!"
"Sit."
"What? No!"
"Sit." He repeated, this time pulling me down on the sofa next to him.
He opened his laptop and typed something in, then looked for a minute before clicking on something.
"Wanna read something really awesome?" He asked, swaying back and forth.
I nodded.
He turned the computer to me and I took it, reading over the first few sentences.
"Uh, what is this about?" I asked.
"Keep reading."
I continued on, finding myself unable to stop. I had found my name in the story. And Pewds', Stephano's, and Jennifer's... and Piggeh's. The story was a good length for a oneshot, but that wasn't the point. It was a romance.
About me.
And Piggeh.
I neared the last couple of paragraphs and noticed Piggeh reading along with me, magenta eyes scanning over the page with a delighted glimmer. The writer had managed to capture all of our characteristics and personalities very well. I admit, even my personality was frighteningly correct. I could picture all of the events in the little story happening in my head. As terrible as that sounds, it was actually very well described what everything looked like and how all of us were portrayed was accurate. I liked the story, besides one thing.
It was about me.
And Piggeh.
I felt a heated blush coming over my cheeks as I re-read the same sentence over and over again. The part that I knew was coming. The kiss scene. My heart raced and pounded and turned flips in my chest as I read that paragraph. I felt Piggeh's eyes on me, smirking at my reaction. I looked to him, surely red as a beet. He leaned in and re-captured my lips, and I finally just surrendered. He kissed me softly, petting my hair gently and lovingly. When he finally pulled away, he gestured to his laptop.
"Isn't fanfiction great?"
"Not always." I sighed.
He nodded. "True. Very true. Some of them suck barrel dick."
"Percy!" I hissed.
"Sorry, sorry. I just don't like the idea of Stephano being your savior and the love of your life or whatever." He huffed, crossing his arms.
"What?" I gasped, not even sure how to react to that.
"Lemme explain. So, I was on the internet talking to some of the bros. One of the bros sent one of her fanfics, which I read. Stephano saves you, you think he's not as much of an asshole as everyone thinks, you start to fall for him, he saves you again, etc. etc. blah, blah, blah. I hated that shit. So another bro sent me the works of a different writer. You just read one of her stories. I fucking love them." He explained, making me blush even worse.
"So is this like... a Twilight shipping-type-thing? Like, Team Edward vs. Team Jacob?"
Piggeh snarled. "Please tell me you aren't in to that."
"Oh, God no."
He nodded. "Good. Team Piggeh vs. Team Stephano? Uhhh, I fucking hope not." He chuckled.
"Well then... Thank you for that... Percy." I said, standing up.
"Where are you going?" He asked, shoving his laptop to the side.
"To my room?"
"Nooooooo! Read some more fanfics with me!" He begged, pulling me back onto the sofa.
I sighed, collapsing to his side. "This makes me very uncomfortable." I stated as his arm snaked around my waist, pulling me close to him.
"Good. You're cute when you blush."
I facepalmed. "How many do we have to read?"
"All of them." He purred, kissing me on the cheek.
I blushed, secretly curious as to what the fanfics were all like... and if there would be more kisses. Though I would never admit it.
A/N
Sooo... I had this dream the other night that one of you bros sent out a fiction... and yah. I dreamed that Piggeh was reading my fanfictions and I laughed at that for like 2 hours before writing this. And in the meantime, I jabbed the idea of . *shiver* That pairing does"suck barrel dick". (FYI, I don't ship Stephano, Pewds, or Cry with anyone in the yaoi sense. Sorry)
AND if you were confused about the whole "housemates" thing... Well, I believe that if they were to eventually escape Brennenburg, they would all live in a big house together. Don't judge me.
OH! AND if you didn't understand what Pewdie was meaning when he said to knock first... I was implying that Pewdie knew what he was reading. If you have watched the video about Pewds and Cry reading that fanfiction about them, then that's why. Pewds was kind of implying that Piggeh might be... fapping. OKAYTHEREISAIDITAREYOUHAPPYNOW?
Okay... bye bye for now.
-Pocky