noteNatsume Hyuuga's side to the poem lucifer was once an angel, dear. The poem does not completely reflect my religious views, and there's a quote from Bokura Ga Ita 2 inserted somewhere here.
Characters: Natsume Hyuuga, Tsubasa Andou
Warnings: language, mentions of religion. Potential offensive material.
creo
I don't believe that praying can make the demons go away.
Andou,
you don't believe in gods,
do you?
do you believe in a higher being
that sits on a golden throne?
is there an empyrean
kingdom that floats above
the feathery expanse
of cirrus clouds?
if so, then tell me how to find it
because all I can see
is the raging fire of hell
traveling from my palms.
do you believe in Gabriel
and the messages he brings?
do you have faith in
the unknown man
who writes destinies
on a long papyrus scroll
and weaves universes
with his fingertips?
do you stare at the world around you
and thank the heavens for how wonderful it is?
I can't, and I wouldn't,
because there isn't a
fucking wonderful thing
to be thankful for.
our stupid ancestors
only wanted to find
a wall to lean on -
a comforting children's story
that seeks to explain
everything that occurs.
they resorted to the divine and
created fucking fiction.
do you believe in disciples
and saints, Andou?
look at judas,
who seemingly betrayed the person
whom people call as their Lord
but he only put his loyalty
before himself
and agreed to his
Lord's death wish, didn't he?
look at Peter
who was proclaimed
as the foundation of the church -
he denied his association
with the savior, didn't he?
do you believe that the almighty deity exists?
he has created this realm
out of goodness.
how come he couldn't
use his omnipotence to
control damnation?
do angels even fall
if they were born
for righteous purposes?
our destinies are already
written on a papyrus scroll
but why didn't
god see lucifer's fate?
why did he choose
to send a legion of seraphim
to torture our goddamn race?
Andou,
I don't believe in gods.
I don't believe in buddha
or nirvana
or allah
or zeus
or jupiter
or krishna
or geb and nut
or thor
or any supreme being
who is only alive
in textbooks and sacred writings.
I don't believe that praying
can make the demons
go away.
look at what we are now-
the devils are still chasing us,
using our blood as
the pigment to paint
the largest masterpiece.
priests and pastors
teach us to love,
but how come they shun us,
Andou,
when we find solace
in each other's arms?
I don't believe in salvation
and guardian angels
and heaven
and purgatory
and hell -
there's no difference, is there?
we're already perishing
in a land where the midnight sun
rises and the monsters
come out to play
even in broad daylight.
we live
in this earth
with no religion to save us;
having faith
and living in denial
are two different things.
but trust me when I say
that in spite of
all the chaos and flames
and tears that taste of
rain and ashes,
I still find myself having faith in
only two things:
that if ever we have so-called
destinies written on papyrus scrolls, we can change them;
and all the gods on their thrones
can succumb to gravity
and tumble down from the heavens
because no matter what happens
you will always be
the only person
I'll ever believe in.