I knew that betrayals come from the ones that you expect the less to betray you. The ones that are generally very close to you. Since my childhood, I learnt to always be wary of other people, and I knew someone would betray me sooner or later. And it happened. Half-happened, in fact. Indeed, I was betrayed, but not by someone.
I was betrayed by my heart, and it was probably the greatest betrayal I could ever be the victim of. No, don't laugh, I forbid you to. I am being very serious.
I knew very well how to keep my emotions in check. This is how I survived, as an orphan girl, rejected by the whole world and left on my own; this is how I became a Raijin. However, that motherfucker found a way to break it.
He made me fall in love. Not a crush. No. And worse of all, not with a normal man. I guess it's hard to talk of a normal man when you're talking of mage, but this one is really a whole case on himself.
You want a name? Fine. Does Elfman Strauss ring any bells to you?
Honestly, I don't know when my heart began plotting against me. It certainly wasn't until the great festival in Magnolia, because he was just a boy, spending his time weeping and complaining, and because, as the Raijin, we spend a lot of time on S-ranked missions with Luxus (so much time we actually didn't have time to get along with the other members).
When I fought against him, I noticed he had changed a lot, having developed his musculature and mastering better his take-overs, but he was easy as fuck to win.
Maybe it was after, at the S-rank exam. Fried (the bastard!) chose Bixlow as his partner. Bixlow, and not me. Why? 'Cause I am not powerful enough? Sorry, but I wasn't the one who lost to a stupid, blonde girl cosplayed in cheerleader! I would have had beat her within a wink of the eyes, transforming her to stone, then crushing her to dust (she isn't beautiful enough to deserve the right to be exposed in my room).
Another betrayal. I didn't talk to them for days, avoiding them, spending this time on my own, and trying to determine if I could participate too, just for revenge, for showing them, I could well on my own without them. And I did. I paired up with him, since all his sisters/friends had or were already partners. As a result, we ended defeating the fearsome Mirajane, whereas Fried and Bixlow lost to the cheerleader and the alcoholic.
And it wasn't at all like with the other men I had been with before. He cared for me, and I count the people that actually took care of me on the fingers of one hand. Sometimes, it was maybe too much and he was being too overprotective (as if Fried, Bixlow and Luxus weren't enough!), but it was always pleasant to know someone cared about you. He was even sorry to not have been able to protect me against Rustyrose, and Acknowlodgia, like he said to me seven years later, after we "woke up" and sailed our way back to Magnolia. Elfman found me on the deck, alone, enjoying the evening's breeze on my face, tugging at my hair.
"Sorry for not being able to protect you against Acknowlodgia."
I just turned around and looked at him over my glasses.
"Don't be silly. None of us could have."
"But, as a man…"
"Elfman, it was a fucking dragon! Dragon's magic is way stronger than human's! Dragons are in general stronger than us! You are not to blame in this. We just had no chance against him."
"Thanks, Ever. I'm glad you are alright", he told me.
"You do look better than after we fought Grimoire Heart."
"I hope you'll be my partner next year."
My heart suddenly began to race madly.
"We'll be the manliest duo!"
"May I remind you I am a woman?"
"Doesn't matter!" he grinned widely. "We can beat up everyone!"
"Even Erza, Gildarts or your sister? I doubt the wedding thing will work twice!"
"I take that as a yes," he laughed, in a loud, manly laughter.
"Hey, I have never said that! Come back!"
He was already gone by that time, and I never felt so dumb, standing there, shouting after him with rosy cheeks and tangled hair.
I hardly saw him after, just for the Great Magic Games. During the three months we spend training in the mountains, I couldn't help but thinking about him and me and us. I noticed how Elfman's stare lingered over my breasts, and my legs. As I sat, I made sure to stretch them, and to arch my back a little as I was moving my fan. I heard him gulp, then look away. My head told me it was for fun, but my heart told me I did this only to know his feelings for me.
As of me, I stared longly at him too, when he was training only in his trousers, boxing a sand bag. I noticed he was at least as muscled as Luxus, but I didn't remember my mouth went dry or my cheeks burned when I saw him. Nor when my heart skipped a beat each time I see him and hear his deep, manly voice, or when he would hurt when he was not around. And why did I always want to be with him and to see him? I knew that traitor of a heart was in love, and I could nothing but deny it.
During the GMG, Elfman was participating in Fairy Tail A team, replacing Wendy. The second day, he was picked to fight against Bacchus, of Quattro Cerberus, a man known to be Erza's equal before the seven year's gap. My heart was beating at a mad rhythm; I was at once excited and worried about him. I renounced to listen to my head and to my manners and began to cheer him up, and also his little sister, since she was reluctant to the idea to spent the night with that drunkard, which was what would happen if Elfman lost. And that moron was actually losing, currently.
When Bacchus sent him down, biting the arena's sand, my heart stopped for a nano-second, constricting. He was shouting words of encouragement I couldn't say. Fortunately, Elfman rose from the sand and said that Quattro Cerberus would be nicknamed Quattro Puppy 'til the end of the GMG if he won. I smirked, happy I had influenced him, although I would have said they would bear that nickname for at least a year, and my heart beamed with pride.
But his opponent drank his bottle, and became instantly faster, landing in a less than a second seven blows. My heart stopped for a second time, as well as my breath. Then Bacchus looked down at his hands, stained with his blood, and the fog dissipated, showing Elfman, in his Lizardman's form.
The fight became suddenly more intense, quicker. Just the sound of it was enough to make me stress. We could hardly distinguish something. Without realizing, I was evacuating my stress by almost strangling Fried, and yelling like a mad woman, like a savage, my manners having taken a holiday to a place far away.
My heart stopped for the third time, nearly making a heart attack, as both of them sank to their knees, panting hard, drenched in sweat and blood. What the hell are you doing! My heart was yelling, and fortunately, I hadn't lost my mind, which prevented me to shout that out loud. Get up, now! Get up, and knocked him out once for all!
I felt a pang in my chest as I watched Bacchus rise and laughing hard, whereas Elfman was still trying to catch his breath.
To our greater surprise, the S mage fell backwards, and Elfman (finally!) stood, proud, shouting in victory, a shout that vibrated and resounded in my whole body. I felt like my heart was lighter, so much lighter, and I was even more proud of him, and I shouted too in victory, still strangling Fried.
Unfortunately, he fell to the floor, unconscious and magic healers rushed towards him, taking him to the infirmary. Without thinking, I stood up, following Lisanna, and Fried and Bixlow followed me too. Finally, we were too much people in the small room, but his team and his sister exited as soon as they congratulated him. The Raijin stayed, to protect the place from Raven tail's henchmen.
"I'm sorry", he managed to mumble, looking in my direction.
I couldn't help but smile.
"Couldn't you come up with a more direct battle strategy?" I asked.
"C'mon, the injured one should be sleeping"
That was when that son of bitch of Bixlow pushed me. Out of balance, I fell on the bed, next to him, my breasts dangerously near to his face. He was looking intensively at them, his cheeks blushing in a cute way.
"Should we let Ever sleep with you?"
I felt my heart rushing, as my whole face took the color of Fried's cloak.
"Stop messing around!" I shouted him back, but they were already gone, and I was alone with him. I humphed, pushed my hair back and sat on the nearby chair.
"Congrats," I mumbled.
I saw him grin.
"See? I will become an S-rank mage next year, for sure!"
"I doubt it will suffice to beat Gildarts and Erza…" I said in a fake reproachful tone, not managing to repress a smile.
Then he fell asleep. Or he blacked out. I just smirked.
I was asleep when I heard Elfman sneeze. I wanted to say "Bless you!", but I was still too sleepy.
"Damn, someone must have been praising me as a man."
It was when he shifted, causing my head to move a little bit. I realized this wasn't a comfortable position to have a nap; my whole back and neck were sore.
"Hm? Why is Ever sleeping there, damnit?"
Curiously, my only preoccupation at the moment was to know if I looked presentable enough. My hair was always a mess after I woke up.
"It's not like I was worried or something…" I mumbled, my eyes still closed, not wanting to open them.
Then I drifted off, but just before I was finally asleep, I heard him mutter:
"Woman…"
And I blushed like a schoolgirl, while my heart was swelling with pride, considering I had to be someone special to him, because he didn't call the other girls "woman", not even his sisters. Come on, Ever, shouted my heart, confess, right now! But I didn't have the guts to do it. Or rather, I didn't even try. I am not in love with him after all! I kept repeating myself, to convince me. It's merely an attraction for his physique (I must admit I have always had a weakness for well-built men…).
A few moments later, he tried to move, waking me for good. I slowly raised my head, ready to check if something was wrong.
"I am sorry I have woken you up, Ever" he stuttered, looking like a child with a hand in the cookie jar. "But I had pins and needles in my arm."
I ran a hand over my face and then I stretched. My neck and back hurt from my uncomfortable sleeping position.
"Why are you staying there, Ever? You didn't want to go with the others, to the pool?"
"No. Bixlow will spend his time annoying me."
I almost added "by talking of you". It was half a lie though; of course, I would have liked to go to the Ryuuzetsu land, to show off my new bikini that enhanced my ass and my boobs, but 1) it had no interest if he wasn't there to see, 2) Bixlow would still annoy me, 3) I didn't want to leave Elfman's side. Curious, eh?
"Do you want to go?" I asked him.
"Where?"
"Off to Galuna."
He gave me a puzzled look.
"To the Ryuuzetsu land, of course!"
"Hum, yeah, of course, but I need to recover and…"
"Elfman you've been recovering for two days. You look way better than two days ago, and the old granny isn't there to watch over us. Do you feel better?"
"Yes."
"And do you feel able to walk?"
"Yes, I suppose."
"Do you want to swim?"
"Definitely."
"Then we're going! I hope you have a swimsuit ready?"
He opened his mouth to answer, but I cut him off, searching onto his bag.
"Hey! It's unmanly to search in other people's stuff without asking them!"
As an answer, I threw at his face the fundoshi-swimsuit (the sooner you'd become his girlfriend, the better, my heart whispered, so he will finally wear a decent swim trunks. On the other hand, the fundoshi a good view on his buttocks and, well, it was for sure something pleasant to the eyes. Far way better than Bixlow's, actually (I have surprised him bathing naked in a river when we were on a quest once. It took months for my eyes to recover after that)).
"Now, you'll change there."
"But why? We simply can't go to the Ryuuzetsu half-naked!"
"We will wear our clothes on top of it, you idiot!"
"And why don't we change there?"
"It's okay if you want to explain to your sister sand the whole guild why we came on our own, after everybody. Totally up to you."
He blushed a little, realizing the meaning I implied. He eventually accepted and half an hour later, we were on the water, carefully avoiding the glance of the other mages. It was a little funny, like a kind of hide-and-seek, but, like in hide-and-seek, Elfman couldn't hide himself properly. And his eyes wouldn't leave my ass (buying this bikini was undoubtedly one of the best ideas I've ever had).
We were about to go for a swim in a pool free of Fairy Tail members, but he caught me at the last instant. I shot him a reproachful look and he explained:
"My sisters are there."
Elfman showed them.
"Ah."
"I definitely don't want them to find out that the two of us came here alone."
"If they find out, it will be bad."
"Hey, you wanted to come here in the first place!"
"Don't be stupid! It's just for a change of mood! Don't think anything weird!"
We spend some time to find an attraction where no one else from Fairy Tail would be. In the end, just when we were relaxing in the Jacuzzi, Natsu and Gray blew the place up. And, worst of all, Bixlow had seen us, and he made of this his only topic when he spoke to me. Hell, the guy was an even worse gossiper than Mira! Fortunately, she heard none of this, but I could feel the suspicion in her eyes whenever she looked at me.
It was hard to focus during the battle in Crocus, to fight the mini-dragons and protect the civilians. All I could think of was Elfman. Was he alright? He had been severely injured just a few days before and was an easy prey for the creatures. Then I thought about the promise he made, to go to the S-exam, and my mind began to reassure my heart, saying that Elfman was strong and determined enough to not be defeated by the dragons.
It also gave me more force. Bixlow and Fried were looking at me, with a brow raised, but there was some amusement on their faces. I rarely took a spare second, always vaulting in the air and turning them to stone or bombing them with my magic. Each dragon I took down was one less that could potentially harm Elfman or make him use his strength uselessly.
When morning came, Crocus was badly destructed. There was rubble everywhere, ancient or important buildings had been destructed; the smoke and the dust prevented you from seeing what happened ten feet ahead in some streets. We were all panting, covered in blood, with cuts and bruises everywhere. Apparently, no civilians had been killed during the attack, and no member of Fairy Tail, nor the other guild that participate in the Great Magic Games. At least, this was a big relief.
We met up in the center of the city, where Polyussica and Wendy had established an encampment to heal the most injured people, wizards as well as civilians, and Sherria was giving them a hand at it. I got quickly a look at all the wizards gathered there, from different guilds (and ignored the poor excuse of flirt a guy from Quattro Cerberus was doing), and my heart ached as I saw he wasn't there. I mentally scolded myself for thinking of his idiot, but I felt like I was about to cry. I knew that nobody died, but I couldn't help.
"Ever, is everything alright?" asked Fried, in concern, putting a hand on my shoulder.
He was in worse condition that I was, but he cared about me nonetheless. How sweet of him. I nodded and smiled slightly, so as to not speak. I knew my voice was weak, and I didn't want it to give my angst out. I managed to keep my feelings for Elfman secret for several months (which was in itself an exploit in the Thunder Tribe, since I convinced Bixlow it was just for Elfman's looks, he had shut up).
"Hey, Ever, what happened?" said Luxus, approaching, Bixlow following him, his babies repeating "what happened".
"Nothing. I just… I'm just a little tired and I need to change my mind. This had been a long night, isn't it?"
They seemed to buy my excuse and didn't ask something else.
"You should go have a walk," suggested Fried. "The whole perimeter had been secured. It will do you some good."
That was definitely something I could do, to not enable them to see what was really going on. So I wandered in the streets, making sure none of my companions followed me. Then I crouched down on the floor, near a pile of rubble and I began to sniff. My tears were more and more difficult to prevent. Why hadn't he come back? Why do you make me feel so sad? I thought, looking at the place where my heart was, my eyes shooting him daggers. Why do you make me feel so weak? Why do you make me cry because of the king of the morons? Why did you make me fall in love with this huge, full of muscle man, with an excess of testosterone and a lack of neurons? Why did you choose a man that wear goddamn getas (honestly, what kind of man wears sandals?), fucking fundoshis (ew!) and who isn't half as classy as I am?
I heard someone seat near me and put a warming hand over my shoulders. Shit! Bixlow probably sent his babies to spy on, me, and all I needed now was him making fun of me!
"Leave me alone, Bixlow!" I shouted, unable to calm myself.
"I don't know what Bixlow had done, but I can have a few words with him if you want", said a deep, manly voice.
I raised my head and I met his dark blue eyes. I turned my head away, to hide my burning cheeks and the tears that stained my face and probably ruined my mascara. Wiping my face wasn't an option, since I hadn't on me a piece of clean cloth.
"No. It's not because of him."
"Then why are you crying? Are they hurt?"
"No, actually, the Raijins are fine. The other mages are safe as well."
"And why didn't you stay with them?"
I bit my lip. My heart was shouting me to say him the truth, to take advantage of the moment, when nobody was around and nosing, but there was no way I could let those words pass through my lips.
"Err… I needed some air… I was quite tired."
That wasn't the best lie I've ever produced, but it sound.
"And you? Why weren't you with your sisters?"
"As a man, I made sure that those beasts couldn't hurt my sisters anymore or anyone else from the guild before I got back to them. Wanna come back or do you want to stay there and look at dawn?"
I took his hand and he got me on my feet. I noticed the frown on his face as I pulled on his hand.
"Are you hurt?" I asked, my voice sounding more worry than I liked.
"Nothing," he said. "As long as I can walk, I'm fine."
"But… but you're bleeding!"
The back of his shirt was so red I couldn't find remember the first color of its fabric.
"Like I said it's nothing."
"We need to get you to Polyussica and Wendy."
I pulled on his other arm, and he tripped a little before following me.
"Ever?"
"Yeah?"
"You sure you're alright? You didn't get hit, did you?"
"Of course I did, but it was merely bruises and scratches. Nothing harmful. Why are you asking that?"
I had stopped and turned around, so I could look at him in the eyes. He looked pretty concentrate, like if he was figuring something out.
"It's strange to see you worried like that, Ever. There is something you didn't tell me. Have you a debt towards me and you're trying to absolve it?"
"I owe you nothing."
"And for the time you unjustly hit me with your fan?"
I rolled my eyes.
"Poor boy."
"So it's not that. You hate pay back."
He spent some time thinking, his brows furrowed in concentration. My head was freaking like crazy because I knew that he was about to find out and I didn't want to know about his reaction because I was afraid of some rejection, my heart was on the other hand very happy and wanted me to kiss the wrinkle between his brows because it made him look cute.
Then he lifted his head.
"Could it be," he said with a devilish grin, "that you were worried about me?"
My cheeks were turning beet red as I told the most blatant lie of the history:
"Me, worried about you? Never! Don't imagine yourself things!"
"Am I?" he asked, walking towards me.
I wanted to go away and return to the encampment, but my hand was still holding his wrist and I couldn't let go of it. His dark blue eyes were staring right into mine, and I felt like he was seeing into my mind. My cheeks were still red, and my heart was beating faster, due to the thrill.
Elfman leaned in. My heart was running like crazy and beating so hard I thought it would explode, as I inhaled his scent. I didn't want to, but I couldn't prevent his manly smell (a very pleasant one, if you wanna know) entering my nostrils. He cupped my face, his eyes looking at me intensively, then his mouth covered mine. I didn't expect this to be pleasant. He didn't seem quite experienced with women but damn, he was a pretty good kisser, so much that my traitor of a heart almost managed to make me succumb.
I said almost. I pulled him off. He looked at me, amused:
"What is it, now?"
"Leave me alone! I don't even want you!"
"Don't lie, Ever. It's not manly."
"I ain't lying, you big oaf! Seriously, why someone sensed would pick you?"
"Because you aren't a sensed person."
He paused, and approached, grinning. He was looking at me straight in the eyes, and I felt my cheeks burn. Great, now my whole body was betraying me!
"Then why did your pulse increased as I kissed you? This is how you show you don't like…?"
I didn't let him finish and I kissed him, grabbing his collar. He smiled more widely against my lips and deepened the kiss, lifting me so I could better kiss him. And his rough, strong hands on my bare thighs, his broad, muscled shoulder my touch, his mouth on mine, my chest against his, our heart beating in unison felt so fucking good that I wasn't giving a shit about what was happening around us, and didn't want to break the kiss for breath. All that mattered was Elfman, his hands, his lips, his tongue, his body, and the day that was slowly raising, bathing us in its pinky-orange light.
That was when I realized I should have listened to my son of bitch of a heart sooner.