Hello. While I've written at least 15 fanfics, I know I'm not well known around the Downton community, as I'll put it. This is something I've never tried before. To say it's easy would be a lie because I'm such a believer in one true love and I loved Matthew Crawley like he was real and was mine. I admired Sybil like a hero. I admit to not wanting Mary to move on or I'd stop watching the show, and I never wanted to be one of those "fans". True love is something I seek desperately and want to see it remain in people. Still this possibility came into my head and I decided to try it even though I'm not completely ok with this indulgence. That's what writers do though. And even though Matthew Crawley isn't real, he represents the kind of man I want to love and be with one day, which is why I care so much for him. But now I'll try something new in hoping to explain to myself there can be more than one true love, you just love them in different ways. I want to be clear this isn't Mary "moving on" because that sounds as if a person gets over their love for someone. She will love Matthew till the last breath leaves her body, but she will love Tom in a different way. A way that allows them the deserved happiness but remembers the ache of another love, mended with this new one I for one, shall never forget Matthew or Sybil. Let this story bring hope back into the world that people can love more than once, but they never forget all they loved. (Not specifically following all events in season 4, I'm American so I haven't seen all of them yet) Enjoy.

You're my back bone, you're my cornerstone, You're my crutch when my legs stop moving, You're my headstart, you're my rugged heart, You're the pulse that I've always needed

She sat in the corner chair with her George, not even asking where Nanny West was. She didn't care. George pulled at her sleeve but she simply held him closer and closed her eyes, imagining a pair of blue ones with an honest boyish grin accompanying.

"Am I interrupting?" asked a voice. She opened her eyes and glanced at Tom before shaking her head. "I just heard the nanny was sacked. Do you know why?"

"No but I'm sure we will get the chance to ask mama later," replied Mary as she glanced out the window again. Suddenly a shifting noise was heard and Sybbie's head popped up and she cried,

"Papa! Mammy!" Tom smiled at his daughter but his worry increased at his daughter's name for Mary. While she didn't address her as mama, she didn't call her Auntie Mary, like how she referred to Edith as auntie. They smiled at her and Tom reached to pick her up.

"How was your day?" asked Mary. Tom shrugged,

"Your father and I disagreed again, it's becoming a routine." Mary's mouth curved up in a hint of a smile as she said,

"I'm sure you can handle him Tom."

"Mammy!" shouted Sybbie as she reached her hands out towards Mary.

"My dearest how are you?" asked Mary. Still the girl reached her hands out and Tom said,

"I'll take George." He held the child and smiled as he saw Matthew in him. He watched as Mary lifted Sybbie up and cooed at the girl. Then Sybbie pulled out and grabbed her dollhouse and pulled out the dolls.

"This is papa," she said as she held out the man doll. "And this is mammy!" she said as she held out the woman. "Mammy love papa?" Sybbie asked, her brown eyes staring into Mary's. Mary froze as she wondered what to say. Sybbie asked again with urgency, "Mammy love papa?"

"Yes I love your papa," answered Mary finally, and she could feel Tom's eyes on her. Sybbie grinned and turned back towards the dollhouse. Tom tightened his grip on George as the words floated through his mind over and over. Yes I love your papa. Yes I love your papa. He smiled as George babbled into his ear. Mary stood and smiled at her baby and kissed his forehead, acting like she didn't hear tom suck in his breath.

Later they were all sitting after dinner and Mary turned to Cora and asked, "Why was the nanny fired?" A chorus of "yes why" filled the room.

"I don't know if I should say, it was highly inappropriate and would only anger," said Cora.

"Tom and I have a right to know."

"Well… I overheard her at night calling Sybbie a filthy half-breed and—"

"What?" screamed Mary as she jumped up. Mary felt the hatred course through her as she pictured the nanny saying that.

"Mary sit, it's unlady like to yell."

"Mama I do not care at the moment. How dare she insult my god daughter! How dare she think she has the right!"

"Mary, behave," hissed Cora, pointing to the couch.

Tom sat in shock, wondering how many people thought of his child as a half-breed, nonetheless the nanny. He focused and heard Cora say, "Mary behave like a lady. One does no yell over what is done. She is gone, let's not worry anymore on the subject." Tom turned to see Mary standing, fists clenched, and her face flushed to a pretty pink.

"But Mama!"

"Don't worry darling, I had a firm talk with Nanny West," said Cora spitting the nanny's name out harshly. There was no more said on the conversation, although Tom could see Mary replaying the situation in her head, much like he was.

As they retired for the night, Tom turned to Mary and said, "It means a lot, you stickin' up for Sybbie."

"She's family, she is practically a daughter so how could I not?"

"It's nice to know you care. That you have changed your tune about us, about me."

"Oh Tom, Sybil was always the brave one. I never hated you, it was the unknown that you brought with you that upset me. Now though, of course I care about you both. If I were to lose you also, well I do not know what would become of me," she paused realizing what she said. "I just meant... you have helped a great deal Tom. I think I will bid good night now."

"Goodnight Mary," he whispered.

It was breakfast when he saw her again. He was sitting across from Edith and next to Lord Grantham. She appeared suddenly, in dark red, her eyes weary.

"My dear, good morning!"

"Good morning Papa, Edith, Tom," she replied. She sat next to her sister and sipped water. The four of them sat in silence till Edith announced,

"I'm going to Ripon but I won't be gone terribly long."

"I will spend time with the children. Perhaps a picnic? Would you care to join us, Mary?" asked Tom.

"I don't know if that's a good idea," she replied.

"You should spend time with George," added her father. Mary's lips pressed into a thin line as she contemplated the idea. She would have to wear a lighter purple dress, so she did not stand out like an eye sore, but the idea wasn't appealing.

"Yes, alright you have me. I will come," she said with her lips curling up into a small half smile, half grimace.

"Good. Then whenever you return we have just a bit of business to talk about," said Lord Grantham to Tom.

"I'll go up and ring for Anna then," said Mary as she stood up.

"My dear you haven't had a thing to eat!" said Lord Grantham.

"Well doesn't one eat while on a picnic? I shan't starve," she said as she left.

"If everyone's leaving then I suppose I will to. Please tell Mama where I've gone. I'll be back sooner than later," said Edith bidding goodbye.

"Carson have Ms. Pattmore prepare a small picnic basket for them, "said Robert.

"That's not necessary—"

"No excuses, I won't have my grandchildren eating mush," said Robert as he folded the newspaper and left as well. Tom sighed and stood up, ready to fetch the babies.

"I will wear the mild purple dress today Anna. After all isn't it rather sunny out?"

"Yes, m'lady the sun is very bright."

"Well then it's settled, I'll have to wear that purple dress, even if it's inappropriate it will only be for an hour or so," said Mary as she let Anna assist her.

"M'lady I don't think Mr. Crawley would mind," said Anna cautiously.

"It is disrespectful to Mr. Crawley! I must go through, I'm afraid Mr. Branson thinks my parenting skills poor," said Mary as her eyebrows slipped into a frown.

"I think Mr. Branson admires you M'lady," said Anna as she took the red dress and laid it on the bed.

"That will be all Anna," said Mary as she patted her hair.

"May I say one more thing M'lady?" asked Anna. Mary nodded and she said, "I think the only way you could disrespect Mr. Crawley is if you don't mother his son."

"Oh Anna, I feel like a walking corpse without him. I feel so angry at him as well which is completely wrong. I was there for him when his spine was injured. He said I was his stick. Well he was mine, and now where is he? Without him I am nothing! I am reminded of him every time I look at George. Then I am reminded of what a terrible mother I am being," said Mary as her eyes started to tear.

"M'lady it is a gift that Mr. Crawley lives on in Master George! He is to remind you that you are not alone."

"I know that soon my parents will parade young men around her for me to choose, but I chose Matthew. I will chose him till I die, so what am I to do but mourn him?"

"Mourn him then M'lady. But do not forget to raise Mr. Crawley's son also," said Anna.

Mary headed down the stairs slowly. She came back to herself when she heard shouts of, "Mammy! Mammy!" Mary put on a smile as she scooped Sybbie up into her arms and heard George's cries from Tom's arms.

"Sometimes, "whispered Mary to Tom, "I have no idea how you do it."

Tell me if this is worth continuing. I might just for my pleasure, but I'd love a review. The song in italics was Gone, Gone, Gone by Philip Philips. There will be a song quote each chapter so look forward to that, and I will credit them each time. Know that NOTHING from this story is mine, but belongs to Julian Fellows. I OWN NOTHING…sadly.