Title: No Turning Back
Style: One Shot
Author: Syaoran No Ichiban Aikousha
Author's Notes: Ok. This fic is dedicated to one of my favorite CCS couples, Touya and Yukito! ^__^ Enjoy and please review if you have time. Take caution, if you are disgusted by the yaoi concept, turn around and leave. If you LOVE yaoi, please continue! :D
Disclaimer: Cardcaptor Sakura and all its characters belong to CLAMP, Kodansha, and other big companies that could very likely sue the dust bunnies outta me if I don't write this here.
' ' - Thoughts (Touya and Yukito's)
[ ] - Change of Scene
--------------------------------------------------------------
"It's such a nice day." Yukito stated as lifted the onigiri up to his lips and took a bite. Touya simply nodded his head in agreement, not looking away from the sky as he watched the snow white clouds drift about slowly, yet gracefully. The atmosphere was silent, except for the chirps from birds every now and then. The two sat beneath a tree, cherry blossom to be specific, though the pink flowers were not in bloom yet. That meant it was autumn. A rather beautiful and sunny day, despite the season. The perfect day for one last picnic before the coldness set in. Turning his head half way, Touya glanced over at his best friend with coffee brown orbs shadowed by the coal black lashes. Yukito didn't notice he was being watched, nor did he care. He was too busy enjoying the food he had prepared earlier. Although, Touya didn't realize he was staring, either, for he was too busy becoming lost in his thoughts.
'The perfect time. The perfect place. Should I? I've been wanting to... but, something... something unknown, holds me back. Makes me unsure about my feelings. What is that thing that slams my mouth shut, making it dry and my voice mute when I try to tell him of my feelings? Could it be fear? Fear that I may be rejected? Perhaps. But I have to let him know.'
"Yuki..." Touya finally said after a rather long silence as he focused his eyes upon Yukito's. Swallowing the last bite of a sandwich, Yukito smiled and looked to his friend.
"Nani?" Yukito questioned softly as he waited for Touya to reply. Casting his eyes to the ground in nervousness, Touya clenched his fist as he opened his mouth, though nothing came out.
"To-ya?" Yukito asked, confused at his friend's strange actions. He reached out and grabbed a meat bun, happily munching on it while he awaited.
"N-Nothing..." Touya sighed, rather angry with himself for wimping out. Quickly looking away from Yukito he quietly pounded his fist upon the trunk of the tree he was leaning against. Pain shot through his hand, though he paid no attention.
'Why didn't I tell him!? What happened? Why does this have to be so hard for me? Should I just keep my mouth shut about this? Is it because it'll be something I'll regret doing? Will it even effect my life the tiniest bit? What will he say after I tell him? That he feels the same... or that he never wants to see me again...?'
Yukito peered over at his friend in concern. The wind blew at his short platinum bangs, causing them to fall over his eyes. He blinked at the frustrated Touya, wondering why he was in such a bad mood.
'Anou... what's the matter with To-ya? He seems angry. But why? The setting up here is peaceful and quiet. The sun is shining. Maybe something's on his mind. Doesn't seem like he wants to talk about it though. Should I ask? Would that be getting into his business though? I can't help but care, though. I can't help but wonder if he's ok. It's just a feeling I have towards him that I don't obtain with anyone else. I haven't fully figured out this mysterious sensation that rises within me when I'm with him. Is it serious? Does... he feel the same? I doubt it....I want to tell him about it, but I hardly understand myself it so I don't know what to say....'
"T-To-ya... is something wrong?" Yukito's words spun around inside of Touya's head as he thought of what to say. He knew Yukito was worried. And if he saw him like that, he'd be worried as well. He finally spat out the only thing that came to his mind.
"Nothing. Why, are you worried or something?"
"...I... I am." Yukito answered softly, golden hinted eyes locking with Touya's. Touya blinked, feeling at a lost for words, confusion, surprise, as well as tension was building up inside him. He shook that out of his system as he narrowed his dark eyebrows, ideas of what to say in return rushed into his mind, yet none of them seemed good enough.
"To-ya. If there something you wanted to say to me?" Yukito spoke as he saw Touya struggling with his words.
'Perhaps this would make him tell me why he seems so unhappy.'
Slamming his eyes closed, he sighed and rose to his feet. He breathed heavily as he slowly drew open his eyes only to peer down at Yukito, who still sat there, a questioning look upon his face.
"Yuki... I... do need to tell you something..." Touya swallowed the lump in his throat as he kept his eyes upon Yukito's. His voice was shaking and he balled his hands into fists down at his sides.
'I cannot, will not, ignore this. I must tell him. If he rejects me, so be it. If he doesn't understand my feelings enough, I should not have to wait any longer to find out and waste them on him. It's now or never. Too late to back out? No. I still have a chance to not tell him, but I'm neglecting that because this time, he'll know. I refuse to deny this any longer. I refuse.'
"To-ya, nani? You can tell me, you know you can." Yukito reassured, standing up a few feet in front of Touya. He smiled gently and brushed a strand of hair out of his face.
'He knows he can trust me. Why is this so hard for him? Whatever he's trying to say... couldn't be that bad... could it? I've known him for the longest time, and he has always kept secrets bottled up in his heart, but he told me them. Then why won't he tell me now? Although, I can't blame him. I have a secret from him. But it's like a secret from me as well. I'm stilling asking myself if I should reveal the feelings I have for him. Even if I can't explain them...'
''Yuki... I know... you're probably not ready for what I'm about to say. I know this ..will not be anything you're expecting me to tell you... but...but...." Touya stuttering, feeling his words vanish once again.
'No! I can't stop here. Not now. His eyes peering back at me... waiting for me to tell him... if I back out now, I'll hate myself... These feelings will not be a thing I deny from now on. They are important. I know they are. And to keep them from him is just like lying to him. And our friendship will be a lie. Do I really want that?'
"It doesn't matter. Just tell me. If not now, then later. It doesn't matter how long, just as long as you're ready to say what you're going to say. I want you to feel comfortable and not pressured when you talk." Yukito said, his voice softening as a faint smile spread across his lips.
'Why did he say I'm not ready for this? Is this serious? And if so, should I tell him about my... unknown feelings? Why am I being so selfish? He's the one trying to attain enough courage to say something.... but I can't understand why he said I'm not ready.'
"No. I want to say this now...Y-Yuki....Ore wa.....omae ga...." Touya started, his fists tightened up and he twitched uncomfortably in his position. His eyes looked down to the ground as his head lowered. His voice became deeper and yet softer. Beads of sweat turned ice cold as they trickled down his forehead. The words he wished to speak rotated about his mind as he opened his mouth to finish his sentence, but... there was just silence. He cursed at himself as he continued to stammer out what he wanted to say. It was becoming darker as the sun began to set. Coldness filled the air around them as the wind blew past their figures.
"Ore wa....o-omae ga.....s-s-suki..da..." Touya finally finished. He could feel his cheeks and ears burning, despite the temperature change. He closed his eyes, waiting for Yukito to reply, unsure of what would happen next. He had done his part. Now it's time for Yukito's.
"T-T-To-ya...." Yukito whispered, eyes glassy from the words which were spoken. Feelings mixed about within his heart, confusing him even more.
'D-Did.. I hear him correctly? .... If so, then... he...just said.... that... he.. that he.... Then, is that the explaination I was searching so hard for? The explaination that would tell me why I felt the way I do? Is it really... love? Is that the way I've looked at To-ya? As more than just a friend? A friend in which I share everything with? A friend in which I spend most of my time with? A friend that I really love?'
"Yuki... I'm sorry that I've sprung this information upon you like this. I know you feel differently about me so I understand if you never want to speak, much less look at me again so--" Touya stopped. Mostly because he was interrupted. Interrupted by Yukito. He opened his eyes and looked at him, wondering if his words were of reject.
"No. Don't be. I... I know this must have been hard for you. To-ya, I've always looked at you... as a friend. At least, I thought I did. But these past.... months, perhaps even years, I... had this feeling. This unknown feeling deep inside of me that told me you meant more to me than just that. I didn't... want to tell you because.. well because I was afraid. I was afraid of what you'd think. Of how you felt. So.. I hid everything. I took these feelings and pushed them to the side. I did it in fear. And hoped they wouldn't come back to haunt me. But they did. Do you know why they did? Because those feelings I had for you were so strong, it was impossible to neglect them. And now, that I know about how you feel... I can tell you how I feel. To-ya ...suki da." Yukito said, his eyes staring into Touya's as if piercing deeply into his heart and soul.
"I think that if we had just been brave enough.. to say this sooner, our suffering with the secrets could have been avoided. But, I'm glad we did eventually admit. I...I don't act like it... and I know I don't, but there isn't a day, hour, or even second... in which... I...haven't thought about what it'd... what it'd be like to be... with you for eternity. I wanted to confess to you, but I had visions of you becoming frightened and hating me, so I said nothing. Yuki, we both know... I'm not the person who has an easy time sharing feelings... mostly serious ones, but you must... understand that I .... that I... " Touya stuttered, looking up at Yukito, noticing he had to repeat the words again.
"I know." Yukito smiled. He peered up at the night sky. It was chilly, but the two hadn't realized it. They also didn't notice how late it was. The stars shown brightly and the moon had arisen. Touya looked down at the watch on his wrist. 8:37 PM. The atmostphere was so peaceful and content. The park was empty, though it had been for a while, and the sound of crickets could be heard. Yukito turned back towards Touya and beamed, the moonlight shining upon his face, lighting it up radiantly.
"To-ya, doesn't that..." Yukito trailed off as Touya walked closer to him, his steps taken slowly and his eyes locked upon him. Yukito stood there, looking at Touya, confused, while he continued to move nearer.
"Nan---" Yukito's question was cut short as Touya placed his hands upon his waist and pulled him to a kiss, pressing his lips onto his, taking Yukito completely by surprise. Yet, he didn't stop it. Nor did he step back. He encircled his arms around Touya's neck and kissed back.
'To-ya... daisuki...'
----------------------------------------
^_^ So? How was it? I hope you liked it. I know, I know, so far my fanfics are pretty short, but I'm working on a series! And to see what I'm working on, check my profile on FanFiction.net. And um... that last part is why this is PG13....e_e; Eh heh...for all you hardcore T&Y fans out there...:D Please review and tell me how I'm doing! Also, I'm currently taking fanfiction requests (Must be a couple in CCS) because I want to know what you want to read and also because I am extremely bored...^__^;;
- Tomoyo Daidouji -
Style: One Shot
Author: Syaoran No Ichiban Aikousha
Author's Notes: Ok. This fic is dedicated to one of my favorite CCS couples, Touya and Yukito! ^__^ Enjoy and please review if you have time. Take caution, if you are disgusted by the yaoi concept, turn around and leave. If you LOVE yaoi, please continue! :D
Disclaimer: Cardcaptor Sakura and all its characters belong to CLAMP, Kodansha, and other big companies that could very likely sue the dust bunnies outta me if I don't write this here.
' ' - Thoughts (Touya and Yukito's)
[ ] - Change of Scene
--------------------------------------------------------------
"It's such a nice day." Yukito stated as lifted the onigiri up to his lips and took a bite. Touya simply nodded his head in agreement, not looking away from the sky as he watched the snow white clouds drift about slowly, yet gracefully. The atmosphere was silent, except for the chirps from birds every now and then. The two sat beneath a tree, cherry blossom to be specific, though the pink flowers were not in bloom yet. That meant it was autumn. A rather beautiful and sunny day, despite the season. The perfect day for one last picnic before the coldness set in. Turning his head half way, Touya glanced over at his best friend with coffee brown orbs shadowed by the coal black lashes. Yukito didn't notice he was being watched, nor did he care. He was too busy enjoying the food he had prepared earlier. Although, Touya didn't realize he was staring, either, for he was too busy becoming lost in his thoughts.
'The perfect time. The perfect place. Should I? I've been wanting to... but, something... something unknown, holds me back. Makes me unsure about my feelings. What is that thing that slams my mouth shut, making it dry and my voice mute when I try to tell him of my feelings? Could it be fear? Fear that I may be rejected? Perhaps. But I have to let him know.'
"Yuki..." Touya finally said after a rather long silence as he focused his eyes upon Yukito's. Swallowing the last bite of a sandwich, Yukito smiled and looked to his friend.
"Nani?" Yukito questioned softly as he waited for Touya to reply. Casting his eyes to the ground in nervousness, Touya clenched his fist as he opened his mouth, though nothing came out.
"To-ya?" Yukito asked, confused at his friend's strange actions. He reached out and grabbed a meat bun, happily munching on it while he awaited.
"N-Nothing..." Touya sighed, rather angry with himself for wimping out. Quickly looking away from Yukito he quietly pounded his fist upon the trunk of the tree he was leaning against. Pain shot through his hand, though he paid no attention.
'Why didn't I tell him!? What happened? Why does this have to be so hard for me? Should I just keep my mouth shut about this? Is it because it'll be something I'll regret doing? Will it even effect my life the tiniest bit? What will he say after I tell him? That he feels the same... or that he never wants to see me again...?'
Yukito peered over at his friend in concern. The wind blew at his short platinum bangs, causing them to fall over his eyes. He blinked at the frustrated Touya, wondering why he was in such a bad mood.
'Anou... what's the matter with To-ya? He seems angry. But why? The setting up here is peaceful and quiet. The sun is shining. Maybe something's on his mind. Doesn't seem like he wants to talk about it though. Should I ask? Would that be getting into his business though? I can't help but care, though. I can't help but wonder if he's ok. It's just a feeling I have towards him that I don't obtain with anyone else. I haven't fully figured out this mysterious sensation that rises within me when I'm with him. Is it serious? Does... he feel the same? I doubt it....I want to tell him about it, but I hardly understand myself it so I don't know what to say....'
"T-To-ya... is something wrong?" Yukito's words spun around inside of Touya's head as he thought of what to say. He knew Yukito was worried. And if he saw him like that, he'd be worried as well. He finally spat out the only thing that came to his mind.
"Nothing. Why, are you worried or something?"
"...I... I am." Yukito answered softly, golden hinted eyes locking with Touya's. Touya blinked, feeling at a lost for words, confusion, surprise, as well as tension was building up inside him. He shook that out of his system as he narrowed his dark eyebrows, ideas of what to say in return rushed into his mind, yet none of them seemed good enough.
"To-ya. If there something you wanted to say to me?" Yukito spoke as he saw Touya struggling with his words.
'Perhaps this would make him tell me why he seems so unhappy.'
Slamming his eyes closed, he sighed and rose to his feet. He breathed heavily as he slowly drew open his eyes only to peer down at Yukito, who still sat there, a questioning look upon his face.
"Yuki... I... do need to tell you something..." Touya swallowed the lump in his throat as he kept his eyes upon Yukito's. His voice was shaking and he balled his hands into fists down at his sides.
'I cannot, will not, ignore this. I must tell him. If he rejects me, so be it. If he doesn't understand my feelings enough, I should not have to wait any longer to find out and waste them on him. It's now or never. Too late to back out? No. I still have a chance to not tell him, but I'm neglecting that because this time, he'll know. I refuse to deny this any longer. I refuse.'
"To-ya, nani? You can tell me, you know you can." Yukito reassured, standing up a few feet in front of Touya. He smiled gently and brushed a strand of hair out of his face.
'He knows he can trust me. Why is this so hard for him? Whatever he's trying to say... couldn't be that bad... could it? I've known him for the longest time, and he has always kept secrets bottled up in his heart, but he told me them. Then why won't he tell me now? Although, I can't blame him. I have a secret from him. But it's like a secret from me as well. I'm stilling asking myself if I should reveal the feelings I have for him. Even if I can't explain them...'
''Yuki... I know... you're probably not ready for what I'm about to say. I know this ..will not be anything you're expecting me to tell you... but...but...." Touya stuttering, feeling his words vanish once again.
'No! I can't stop here. Not now. His eyes peering back at me... waiting for me to tell him... if I back out now, I'll hate myself... These feelings will not be a thing I deny from now on. They are important. I know they are. And to keep them from him is just like lying to him. And our friendship will be a lie. Do I really want that?'
"It doesn't matter. Just tell me. If not now, then later. It doesn't matter how long, just as long as you're ready to say what you're going to say. I want you to feel comfortable and not pressured when you talk." Yukito said, his voice softening as a faint smile spread across his lips.
'Why did he say I'm not ready for this? Is this serious? And if so, should I tell him about my... unknown feelings? Why am I being so selfish? He's the one trying to attain enough courage to say something.... but I can't understand why he said I'm not ready.'
"No. I want to say this now...Y-Yuki....Ore wa.....omae ga...." Touya started, his fists tightened up and he twitched uncomfortably in his position. His eyes looked down to the ground as his head lowered. His voice became deeper and yet softer. Beads of sweat turned ice cold as they trickled down his forehead. The words he wished to speak rotated about his mind as he opened his mouth to finish his sentence, but... there was just silence. He cursed at himself as he continued to stammer out what he wanted to say. It was becoming darker as the sun began to set. Coldness filled the air around them as the wind blew past their figures.
"Ore wa....o-omae ga.....s-s-suki..da..." Touya finally finished. He could feel his cheeks and ears burning, despite the temperature change. He closed his eyes, waiting for Yukito to reply, unsure of what would happen next. He had done his part. Now it's time for Yukito's.
"T-T-To-ya...." Yukito whispered, eyes glassy from the words which were spoken. Feelings mixed about within his heart, confusing him even more.
'D-Did.. I hear him correctly? .... If so, then... he...just said.... that... he.. that he.... Then, is that the explaination I was searching so hard for? The explaination that would tell me why I felt the way I do? Is it really... love? Is that the way I've looked at To-ya? As more than just a friend? A friend in which I share everything with? A friend in which I spend most of my time with? A friend that I really love?'
"Yuki... I'm sorry that I've sprung this information upon you like this. I know you feel differently about me so I understand if you never want to speak, much less look at me again so--" Touya stopped. Mostly because he was interrupted. Interrupted by Yukito. He opened his eyes and looked at him, wondering if his words were of reject.
"No. Don't be. I... I know this must have been hard for you. To-ya, I've always looked at you... as a friend. At least, I thought I did. But these past.... months, perhaps even years, I... had this feeling. This unknown feeling deep inside of me that told me you meant more to me than just that. I didn't... want to tell you because.. well because I was afraid. I was afraid of what you'd think. Of how you felt. So.. I hid everything. I took these feelings and pushed them to the side. I did it in fear. And hoped they wouldn't come back to haunt me. But they did. Do you know why they did? Because those feelings I had for you were so strong, it was impossible to neglect them. And now, that I know about how you feel... I can tell you how I feel. To-ya ...suki da." Yukito said, his eyes staring into Touya's as if piercing deeply into his heart and soul.
"I think that if we had just been brave enough.. to say this sooner, our suffering with the secrets could have been avoided. But, I'm glad we did eventually admit. I...I don't act like it... and I know I don't, but there isn't a day, hour, or even second... in which... I...haven't thought about what it'd... what it'd be like to be... with you for eternity. I wanted to confess to you, but I had visions of you becoming frightened and hating me, so I said nothing. Yuki, we both know... I'm not the person who has an easy time sharing feelings... mostly serious ones, but you must... understand that I .... that I... " Touya stuttered, looking up at Yukito, noticing he had to repeat the words again.
"I know." Yukito smiled. He peered up at the night sky. It was chilly, but the two hadn't realized it. They also didn't notice how late it was. The stars shown brightly and the moon had arisen. Touya looked down at the watch on his wrist. 8:37 PM. The atmostphere was so peaceful and content. The park was empty, though it had been for a while, and the sound of crickets could be heard. Yukito turned back towards Touya and beamed, the moonlight shining upon his face, lighting it up radiantly.
"To-ya, doesn't that..." Yukito trailed off as Touya walked closer to him, his steps taken slowly and his eyes locked upon him. Yukito stood there, looking at Touya, confused, while he continued to move nearer.
"Nan---" Yukito's question was cut short as Touya placed his hands upon his waist and pulled him to a kiss, pressing his lips onto his, taking Yukito completely by surprise. Yet, he didn't stop it. Nor did he step back. He encircled his arms around Touya's neck and kissed back.
'To-ya... daisuki...'
----------------------------------------
^_^ So? How was it? I hope you liked it. I know, I know, so far my fanfics are pretty short, but I'm working on a series! And to see what I'm working on, check my profile on FanFiction.net. And um... that last part is why this is PG13....e_e; Eh heh...for all you hardcore T&Y fans out there...:D Please review and tell me how I'm doing! Also, I'm currently taking fanfiction requests (Must be a couple in CCS) because I want to know what you want to read and also because I am extremely bored...^__^;;
- Tomoyo Daidouji -