Title: One and One Half
Author: Obi-Chan or Channy, whichever
Summary: Two students stumble upon Lord Xanatos' secret realm.
Date: December 23rd 2001
Email: d-e@diaryland.com
Site: http://d-e.diaryland.com
Disclaimer: *pout* I don't own Xanatos, Pepsi, Coke, Parseltongues or Boggarts, but I sure wish I did. (
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One day in a school not so far away, there lived a hobo.
Yes, a hobo. And not just any hobo, and hobo-clown
named Bob. Bob lived behind the Pepsi machines, but one
day, the evil corporation of Coca Cola came replaced the
Pepsi machines with - gasp - Coke machines! Hobo-Clown
Bob was pissed, and he left. He figured he'd go and live on
the roof instead, so he pranced off toward the elevator.
There were only two floors in this school, and just to Bob's
luck, the elevator stopped on floor one and one half. There
was no floor one and one half. Floor one and one half was
a magical place with Parseltongues and Boggarts, and one
Hobo-Clown named Bob. Once you entered floor one and
one half, you never leave. Which is good, because there is
no floor one and one half. See, once you step off the
elevator, a fine sheet of unbreakable glass separates you
from the only way off the floor. From inside the dimly-lit
elevator, floor one and one half looks like anyone would
expect: a space about two feet high with pipes and wires
and junk. But if you're brave enough, walk directly into it
(standing upright, mind you), you'll find yourself on floor
one and one half. That's exactly what Bob did.
Which brings us to the current time. Two students entered
the elevator hoping only to get to fourth period math.
"Banana-Hammock!" A strangely mold-like voice wafted
from somewhere inside the walls. The students looked
around, obviously scared out of their knickers. The taller
one pressed the emergency stop button, and as the
elevator doors opened, they saw the object that had such a
fascination with hammocks shaped banana. "Howdy!" It
continued, "I'm Hobo-Clown Bob! Wanna help me out of
floor one and one half?"
The students regarded him curiously, "Floor one and one
half?" They asked in unison.
Hobo-Clown Bob spoke very slowly so not to confuse them,
"There is no floor one and one half." Hobo-Clown Bob
snarled, showing sharp, 'lil blue teeth, "Help me... the
Parseltongues keep hissing at me, and the Boggarts keep
turning into cheesy penguins!"
The students' eyes widened and they backed away from
floor one and one half. Suddenly, the elevator jolted and -
flash - there stood the almighty leader of floor one and
one half: Lord Xanatos DuCruet.
"Hi guys! I'm Xanatos, but you can call me Xani! Welcome
to floor one and one half!"
The students blinked, "But... there is no floor one and one
half..."
Xanatos winked, his soft black hair falling gently into his
eyes, "Exactly."
The oh-so-delicious Dark Jedi then spun on his heel, facing
the entrance to floor one and one half, his black cloak
trailing behind him. He walked fearlessly into the wall and
disappeared.
Hobo-Clown Bob whined audibly and sulked off after him.
"Stupid floor," he muttered.
Just then, Xanatos' head popped through the wall only long
enough to loudly declare, "Banana-Hammock!"
Author: Obi-Chan or Channy, whichever
Summary: Two students stumble upon Lord Xanatos' secret realm.
Date: December 23rd 2001
Email: d-e@diaryland.com
Site: http://d-e.diaryland.com
Disclaimer: *pout* I don't own Xanatos, Pepsi, Coke, Parseltongues or Boggarts, but I sure wish I did. (
-------------------------------------------------------------
One day in a school not so far away, there lived a hobo.
Yes, a hobo. And not just any hobo, and hobo-clown
named Bob. Bob lived behind the Pepsi machines, but one
day, the evil corporation of Coca Cola came replaced the
Pepsi machines with - gasp - Coke machines! Hobo-Clown
Bob was pissed, and he left. He figured he'd go and live on
the roof instead, so he pranced off toward the elevator.
There were only two floors in this school, and just to Bob's
luck, the elevator stopped on floor one and one half. There
was no floor one and one half. Floor one and one half was
a magical place with Parseltongues and Boggarts, and one
Hobo-Clown named Bob. Once you entered floor one and
one half, you never leave. Which is good, because there is
no floor one and one half. See, once you step off the
elevator, a fine sheet of unbreakable glass separates you
from the only way off the floor. From inside the dimly-lit
elevator, floor one and one half looks like anyone would
expect: a space about two feet high with pipes and wires
and junk. But if you're brave enough, walk directly into it
(standing upright, mind you), you'll find yourself on floor
one and one half. That's exactly what Bob did.
Which brings us to the current time. Two students entered
the elevator hoping only to get to fourth period math.
"Banana-Hammock!" A strangely mold-like voice wafted
from somewhere inside the walls. The students looked
around, obviously scared out of their knickers. The taller
one pressed the emergency stop button, and as the
elevator doors opened, they saw the object that had such a
fascination with hammocks shaped banana. "Howdy!" It
continued, "I'm Hobo-Clown Bob! Wanna help me out of
floor one and one half?"
The students regarded him curiously, "Floor one and one
half?" They asked in unison.
Hobo-Clown Bob spoke very slowly so not to confuse them,
"There is no floor one and one half." Hobo-Clown Bob
snarled, showing sharp, 'lil blue teeth, "Help me... the
Parseltongues keep hissing at me, and the Boggarts keep
turning into cheesy penguins!"
The students' eyes widened and they backed away from
floor one and one half. Suddenly, the elevator jolted and -
flash - there stood the almighty leader of floor one and
one half: Lord Xanatos DuCruet.
"Hi guys! I'm Xanatos, but you can call me Xani! Welcome
to floor one and one half!"
The students blinked, "But... there is no floor one and one
half..."
Xanatos winked, his soft black hair falling gently into his
eyes, "Exactly."
The oh-so-delicious Dark Jedi then spun on his heel, facing
the entrance to floor one and one half, his black cloak
trailing behind him. He walked fearlessly into the wall and
disappeared.
Hobo-Clown Bob whined audibly and sulked off after him.
"Stupid floor," he muttered.
Just then, Xanatos' head popped through the wall only long
enough to loudly declare, "Banana-Hammock!"