Adam:
I don't know what happened. One minute she was there, scanning bookshelves and the next she was reading this poem from Walt Whitman. Her voice..it was too much. All of a sudden she was in my arms and I was kissing her. I didn't ever want to stop. And we didn't.For a long time. Finally it was time for us to breathe so I reluctantly pulled away from her. Her eyes were glazed and her cheeks were flushed. For a minute we just sat there. "So.." I began. I had been saying that a lot. "So." she replied. "What the hell was that?" I was startled by the anger in her voice. "I think I just kissed you."
"Well I know that." she said sharply. "I just want to know why."
Why? there were so many reasons, so many things I wanted to tell her, so many things that couldn't be put into words. I started to say something else but she cut me off. "I..I thought you were different from them." She said, the hurt apparent in her voice "Anica was right...I think we should change partners or something." She started to walk off but I grabbed her arm. "Wait." I whispered. "This..this isn't a joke. I didn't mean to hurt you. At all. "
"I can't believe that." She whispered sadly, her eyes glistening with tears "My entire life I have been nothing but a subject of ridicule with you and your friends. Am I supposed to think that you, the king of jocks did a complete 180 in a day?"
"You have never been a subject of ridicule to me." I whispered sharply. I thought I'd die if those tears in her eyes fell because of me. "I'm not like my friends, and I don't think it's fair that you put me in a class with them."
"Oh come on, "She retorted sharply. "You guys make it a hobby to ridicule people that are different than you. And you are apart of them, even if you don't necessarily act like them. It's in your freakin' blood! You were born to be the best, you've always had the best, you will always strive to be the best. So don't spout off to me about how it's not fair to categorized. I don't have a father! so what? Because of that little fact I have been humiliated almost every day of my life. This is a small town. A small town with small-minded people. It's like a freakin NBC movie or something. I half expect to get gang-raped one day and not have anyone believe me." I stood there shocked. She stood there, breathing hard. I think she was glad she got that all off her chest. "Now, if you'll excuse me,"She said in a normal tone. "I have to go now." She started to leave but I grabbed her arm. "This is getting tiring." She said quietly.
"You got to vent, so I get to vent." I replied. She crossed her arms. "Fine. Your turn."
" I don't even know my parents." I began. "I mean, I've lived with them my whole life and I don't know who they are. They're too wrapped up in themselves to give a damn about me. The only reason I'm friends with that inner circle is because our parents are friends. And not all of them are bad. Most of them are damaged. Like me. I was attracted to you because I knew, I mean I just knew that there was something special about you. Something genuine. I knew I could talk to you, that I wouldn't have to be someone else. You have the most gorgeous smile I've ever seen and there's something about your eyes, I haven't seen eyes like that on anyone but my father. They are the clearest, cleanest cinamon brown that I've ever seen and believe me, I've been watching you for a loong time now so I know exactly what color they are. I know that when we read something you enjoy in English you whisper the words to yourself over and over, almost as if you were tasting them, I know that if you took those red-gold curls out of that ponytail they would frame that heart-shaped face of yours most delicately. And I know," I ended "That if I kissed you, you would taste as good as you did before." And with that, I leaned down and kissed her again.
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We left the library after that, both of us feeling emptied of tension and stress. Angel said it was probably all the kissing but I knew it was because we were together. I had never felt like that before. Not with anyone else. We drove to the country and watched the stars. After awhile she started to yawn so I offered to take her home "Oh no," she said hurriedly. "You can just drop me off at a bus station or something and I'll catch a ride."
"That's stupid." I said. " I'll just take you home. " She looked down but I caught her chin. "Are you still worried about what I'll think of you because of your house?"
"Well," She began. "It's not the best of houses and..I don't know! I'm just a little paranoid."
"Well, don't be." I said and opened the car door for her.
On the way to her house we saw the paramedics rush by the car."Something must have happened to someone." Angel noted absent-mindedly. As we neared Angel's house we noticed that the paramedic truck was parked in front of her house. "Oh God." Angel replied and as we pulled up to the house quickly got out of the car. There were policemen and cars everywhere. "What happened!" Angel yelled at the nearest policeman.
"Are you Angel Bannen?" The policeman asked.
"Yes, Yes! now tell me what happened!" She cried. By this time I had made my way over to her, trying to find out what had happened also. The policeman looked at Angel with remorse in his eyes. "Looks like a suicide. Christine Bannen was your mother, correct?"
"No, no no no... Angel repeated over and over "No..no no..." Her knees gave way and I gathered her up before she could fall. "No please no, not my mom..." I scooped her up and she lay ther, limp in my arms, her face buried in my shirt. I could hear the muffled sobs. "I'm so sorry." I whispered in her hair. "I'm so sorry..." Just then , Anica Harper pulled up in her beamer. She ran up to me and grabbed Angel. "Oh, baby, I'm sorry." She whispered.
"Are you taking her home tonight?" I asked Anica.
"Yeah, she'll be staying with me for awhile." Anica whispered. I carried her over to Anica's car and lay her in the seat. She looked so helpless. "I'll see you later." I whispered and shut the door. I watched as Anica drove the car out of sight.