Ambivalence

Chapter 1: A Choice

By: Knowledge Eater

Disclaimer: Ubisoft owns Far Cry 5, I just like to play with their world and characters.

Aiden knew it wasn't real.

The Bliss was a hallucinogen. He knew everything wasn't real. Faith with wings and flying. The green orbs of light that she threw at him. When he touched one of them it looked like it melted the skin from his bones. Initially it hurt like hell, but once the panic subsided and he was hit by another green orb he felt nothing.

Still there were some things in the Bliss that he didn't want to ignore, the cult followings being one of them. They had guns. But they evaporated into mist should he shoot or swing at them with his AKM.

It was difficult to tell how long he had been battling Faith. He had walked, ran, swam, and drove more in the last few days than he ever had in his entire life. But there was no denying that the experience toughened him more than the training he underwent for his deputy position. With that said he wasn't sure if the last few days were finally catching up to him or this encounter was lasting so long that the adrenaline was starting to ebb away. His muscles were beginning to feel a little stiff which resulted in him moving slower.

The rookie deputy took another swing at a nearby Peggie, the name the locals had for the cult members, and distinctly heard the satisfying slap of metal against flesh. Whether it was a hallucination or not, he took advantage and lifted his rifle to take the shot.

Click.

Aiden cursed. Of all times for his clip to run dry! The Peggie was already moving and he didn't want to miss this opportunity, it was the first time he felt anything solid in the Bliss. He wasn't sure if he had any extra clips for his AKM, so he settled for pulling out his pistol. Before he could properly aim he fired a few blind shots.

One of the shots hit true. He almost missed it, but between shots he heard a yelp. The adrenaline came back, the aches and pains of his own wounds faded and it wasn't so difficult to keep moving anymore.

His foot slid on a short slope and his ankle suddenly felt cold and wet. The battle between him and Faith was over a field of flowers, there was no sight of water or even a puddle. This was good, the Bliss was weakening.

The Peggie he shot vanished and nothing else attacked him. Faith herself wasn't in sight, but he could still hear her voice. With some sense of satisfaction, he could hear the strain it took her to speak. Was she really that Peggie that he shot?

Without having to dodge and shoot and run for his life, he was able to fully focus on her voice and the things she was saying. She spoke about not being at fault, that Joseph, the cult's leader, forced her to be this way.

Lies, he immediately thought. He was aware of Faith's reputation. Similar to Joseph, she knew how to talk to people, knew how to get people to empathize, and then she took advantage.

Still, his chest tightened in sympathy.

Ever since he encountered Faith, since he helped the resistance slowly take control of her territory, she told him her little sob story. A history of abuse and loneliness. He understood then the reason for her joining the cult, to find acceptance. It made sense, and in a way he wasn't able to hate her as much as he hated the other cult heralds, the sadistic John and sociopathic Jacob.

But now?

Now, he wasn't sure he hated her at all.

Stop, he mentally scolded himself. This had to be her ploy, to plant a seed of doubt in him. He couldn't afford to sympathize for her now. She may not have physically pulled the trigger that murdered Hope Country's mayor and the hundreds of other people that were killed, but she still orchestrated their deaths.

Aiden blinked and suddenly he noticed a silhouette stumbling about in his peripheral vision. By the time he focused on the shadow it was gone. He blinked again and what was an empty field of flowers around him became a cluster of trees. As quickly as the trees appeared they were gone and replaced by the flowers.

The Bliss continued to lose its effects on him, and Faith knew it. She shouted something, but he paid her no mind. He continued to focus on the group of trees that were several feet in front of him a few seconds ago. He took another step and felt the cold wetness reach just below his knee. He focused on the feel of the water.

Every blink seemed to drive the Bliss away. Trees, bushes, even a river bank melted into view and remained in place. The silhouette stood before him now and then the short, white dress appeared. Aiden blinked hard and finally he found himself looking at Faith, face to face at last.

He was taken aback for a moment when he saw her face. The only time he met Faith that wasn't in the Bliss was when he arrested Joseph. Her face was swollen, her left eye socket was already dark and bruised, and blood caked her right cheek, just next to her mouth.

There was no one else around them, alive or not. So that whole battle in the Bliss, he faced her and her alone the entire time. His chest clenched in pity again. When he faced Jacob and John they were both surrounded by their followers. They had backup. But Faith was alone against him. The hallucinations caused by the Bliss gave her an advantage, but if she had the Peggies helping her he'd no doubt be dead right now.

Did she have to stop him alone in order to redeem herself to Joseph?

Movement snapped him out of his thoughts and he saw her reaching for him, a look of longing twinkling in her eyes. By instinct, his body jerked back and barely avoided contact by her outreached hand. His hand twitched, he wanted to reach for the gun at his holster. It was then that he realized his handgun was absent from his grip. But he didn't need it, he could see now that Faith wasn't armed. There were no weapons nearby other than his empty AKM a few feet behind her, on the other side of the river.

Faith didn't move, didn't speak. An array of emotions crossed her face as she slowly lowered her hand. Shock melted into disappointment, and then sadness. No, it wasn't sadness, he thought. It was despair. Then there was other movement, a nod of her chin and then a new emotion on her face, acceptance.

The resistance, and himself included, believed Faith to be a liar. She said all the right things to make people believe her, and then she manipulated them. But all the emotions that she displayed so quickly seemed too genuine, too real. His chest was no longer clenched, but a heaviness settled in it.

She moved away from him and that's when he noticed her limp. His eyes drifted down and he saw more blood. Rivulets of blood snaked down her right leg. With one final warning about Joseph, she threw herself more than collapsed into the river. She was floating, her face slightly above the water surface. And then her head turned so that her mouth and nose were under the water.

Is she dead, he thought. With the blood and her dress, he couldn't see where he had shot her, couldn't tell if he hit an artery. It was possible she passed out from blood loss. And now with her face under water she'd soon drown.

Dread hit him. And guilt. But he should feel satisfied, right? He avenged the mayor and all those people that died at the jail. He avenged the Marshall. With Faith's death all of the cults heralds were down, and all that was left to destroy the cult was to arrest its leader.

He was starting to feel lightheaded and the edges of his vision became slightly clouded. He looked down and noticed a few Bliss flowers near his feet. He took a step away and gave one final glance at Faith's body. One moment her body floated, her face looking almost serene and peaceful, and then her body evaporated into a stream of light that homed in towards his feet. His eyes followed the light and watched as it settled into one of the Bliss flowers.

It seemed fitting that she would rest as a flower, even if it was a hallucinogenic. His body moved on its own accord and he found himself bent over and then he plucked the flower. Then he tossed it into the river.

It was a long walk back to the jail. Hopefully he'd find a Peggie vehicle to steal. His body ached, but thankfully his wounds were no worse than a few bruises and scratches. He thought back to the confrontation with Faith, how was she planning on killing him if she didn't have any weapons?

Aiden fell deep in thought and stopped walking suddenly. Did she plan on killing him? Then he remembered all the things she told him upon first encountering her and of their numerous meetings afterward. She thought she could save him, the same way she felt Joseph saved her.

He shook his head and continued walking. If what she said about Joseph forcing her to serve him was true, then she didn't realize that she and he shared the same enemy. It was too bad she was beyond saving. Joseph had her too brainwashed and devoted to him, just like the rest of his followers. Suddenly, he stopped walking.

Don't think about it. Don't think about it.

He thought about it.

A wave of guilt hit him. Another bout of adrenaline fueled his tired muscles and he was running back to the river. With the tiny remnants of the Bliss out of his system, he saw Faith was still in the water.

The rookie all but jumped into the cold water and lifted Faith up. He didn't hear her gasp in breaths, didn't see her chest move.

This was bad.

He quickly placed her down on the hard ground, it was more rocks and dirt than sand. It was a good thing one of his work requirements was to be trained and certified in CPR, and with the wildlife that was common in the county he had some basic training in first aid as well.

After plotting her demise for so many days, it was strange to feel relieved upon feeling a heartbeat. But it was very faint. He grew worried when she failed to respond to the rescue breathing after what felt like several minutes, but that faint heartbeat remained. And then she was gasping and coughing. When the coughs turned into chokes, he pulled her onto her side. He didn't mind when she coughed out water onto his lap.

Once her coughs and spluttering subsided, her eyelids fluttered open. Blue eyes looked around but were quick to focus on him, then they narrowed in confusion. Before Aiden could say anything she winced and his thoughts immediately went to her bullet wound.

Faith's leg was coated in blood, and to see so much of it made him worried. First, he had to stop the bleeding, or at the very least slow it down. He'd worry about where to take her later.

He didn't have any bandages. The thought to rip his shirt for makeshift bandages immediately crossed his mind. His shirt wouldn't be the cleanest, it was damp with sweat and water from the river, but it was important he stop the bleeding. As he unbuttoned his red plaid shirt Faith seemed coherent enough to speak.

"Why?" Her voice was weak and she looked like she was having difficulty keeping her eyes open.

Aiden was no doctor, or even a medic, but he'd seen enough movies and shows to know that it was bad for a person to sleep after losing a lot of blood. Well, he hoped there was some truth behind that, at least.

"I need you to stay awake, okay," he told her as he ripped a strip from the bottom of his shirt.

Her eyebrows knotted together in a frown for a quick moment before her face twisted into another grimace when Aiden wiped aside the blood on her leg. She gasped from the sudden pain, but didn't cry out. With some of the blood out of the way he immediately found the small circle in her flesh. He balled up a strip of his shirt and pressed it as hard he could against the wound. This time Faith did cry out, which brought that familiar twinge of guilt in his chest.

The red material quickly soaked up even more red that it looked black. But when he swapped for a new strip he noticed the wound wasn't leaking as much blood anymore. He applied pressure on the her leg again and suddenly felt like an idiot for not checking for an exit wound. He gingerly lifted her leg, which caused Faith to bite her lip to keep from crying out, and inspected the back of her thigh.

The deputy breathed a sigh of relief when he found the exit wound, the bullet went straight through. And if the blood was lighting up then an artery wasn't hit. Okay, so far so good. He applied pressure to both wounds and had to nudge Faith awake several times. Her slipping in and out of consciousness was worrying him.

Once he was satisfied with the lack of the bleeding, he tore the rest of his shirt and wrapped the strips tightly around her thigh. Now that her wound was taken cared of, he thought of the next bridge he would have to cross.

Where would he take Faith now?

The County Jail just barely survived an attack from Faith. Numerous people didn't make it. It would be very possible numerous people wouldn't be accepting if Aiden were to show up with an injured Faith. Even more probably wouldn't approve of sharing their medical supplies and medicine for her.

The young rookie rubbed his face in exasperation. Okay, so maybe he didn't plan this all the way through. For now, he stood up and carefully lifted Faith. He still wasn't sure exactly where he was. So he picked a direction and started walking. Hopefully he'd come across a street. Or an abandoned vehicle. He had that much time to plan what the hell he was going to do. He had even more time to figure out why he even spared Faith, it would've been so much easier to leave her to die in the river.

Sometimes Aiden thought things would be so much easier if he was just inherently good.