"YO, WHAT THE FUCK IS UP!" Chris said, coming into frame. His eyes had a wild look to them.

"WE'RE COMIN AT YOU LIVE FROM CAMP MOTHERFUCKING WAWANAKWA IN CANADA BITCH" as he said that he threw his fingers down like a gangster. "I'M YOUR HOST CHRIS MCLEAN AND I AM SO FUCKING READY TO DROP SEASON 1 OF TOTAL DRAMA FUCKING ISLAND". The camera panned out, revealing Chris standing on an old dock in front of some shitty island. He was real jittery, like he just did a line of coke.

"HERES THE DEAL. 22 MOTHERFUCKERS SIGNED UP TO SPEND AN ENTIRE SUMMER AT THIS SHITTY SUMMER CAMP, AND WE'RE GONNA MAKE THEIR LIVES HELL" his bloodshot eyes twitched a lil bit. "THEY'RE GONNA DO SOME WILD CHALLENGES AND VOTE OFF THE DUMBASS WHO FUCKS THEM UP. BASICALLY, IF THEY DONT GET A MARSHMELLOW AT THE ELIMINATION CERMONY, THEIR ASS IS DEAD". A new camera angle revealed all the cabins and other buildings on the island. They were all very dirty. Chris continued "IN THE END, ONLY ONE MOTHERFUCKER WILL REMAIN, TAKING HOME THE CASH PRIZE OF FIVE. FUCKING. BILLION. DOLLARS!. He was really screaming now. Was this his first time doing blow or something?

After spasming a lil bit, Chris continued with his psychotic rant "THESE FUCKERS ARE GONNA FIGHT BEARS, THEY'RE GONNA FUCKING RAPE EACHOTHER, THEY'RE GONNA DIE. AND WE'RE GONNA RECORD EVERY FUCKING MINUTE OF IT BABY!" he spread his arm out wide "WHO WILL WIN? WHO WILL DIE?! I DON FUCKIN KNOW! BUT WHAT I DO KNOW IS THAT WE'RE GONNA FIND OUT, RIGHT HERE, ON TOTAL. DRAMA. ISLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDDDDDDDD!".

*The opening Credits play*

Dear mom and dad, I'm doing fine
You guys are on my mind
You asked me what I wanted to be
And now I think the answer is plain to see
I want to be famous

I want to live close to the sun
Well, pack your bags cause I've already won.
Everything to prove nothing in my way
I'll get there one day

Cause I want to be famous

Nanana'nanaana nana nana na na na na na naa
I wanna be, I wanna be; I wanna be famous
I wanna be, I wanna be; I wanna be famous

[Whistle's to theme]

*It ends*

After some commericals, it cuts back to Chris standing on the dock, just as hyped as before.

"WELOCME BAKC LADIES AND GENTLEMEN" he said, slightly slurring his words. "YOU GUYS READY TO MEET OUR CONTESTANTS?! WELL GOOD, CUZ THE FIRST ONE JUST ARRIVED."

One cue, a boat arrived at the dock, dropping a white, shorter than average male with brown hair. He had a pretty stupid face.

"FOLKS, PLEASE WELCOME JEREMY HARRINGTON, BETTER KNOW AS HIS YOUTUBE NAME, JERMA985!"

Jerma seemed a lil freaked out by chris's obnoxious yelling, but he went up to greet him anyway.

"Hey Chris, hows it going" he went up to shake his hand, but did not anticapate Chris shaking his hand so violently. "IM DOING FUCKING GREAT, DUDE. MAN YOU'RE FUCKING TINY"

Jerma's smile faded. Being reminded of his short stature did not make him happy.

"HOLY SHITS ITS OUR NEXT CONTESTANT"

A boat arrived and out walked a bald, stocky man in a a plaid button up shirt and coat. It was George Costanza from Seinfeld.

He walked over somewhat akwardly to Chris and said "Uh, hello, I'm George, George Costanza."

"OH, WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE, DUDE" Chris said, as george looked around akwardly. A laugh tracked played.

George spoke again "Um, excuse me, the flyer said that we would be staying in 5-star resort, is it, uh, under renovations or something?"

"THERE IS NO RESORT DUMBASS" Chris said. Another laugh track played as George looked even more confused than before. He then took his place beside Jerma, and made akward small talk.

Another boat showed up, and an even shorter, stockier, balder man walked out. It was Frank Reynolds from Its Slways Sunny in Philedelphia

"FRANK, WHATS UP MAN" Frank paid little attention.

"Yeah, hey, is this where I get the 5 billion dollars?"

Chris just laughed, "OH DONT WORRY DUDE, WE'LL GET TO THAT" Frank just looked confused as he stared at Jerma and George.

"Who the fuck are you two?"

"I SPY ANOTHER BOAT!" Chris said.

When it arrived, a short, green little shit with Dorito hair walked out carrying two suitcases. It was Peridorp from Steven Universe.

A smug smile permeated her gremlin face "A pleasure to finally meet you mister *snort* Mclean" she said in a nasally voice.

"PLEASURES ALL MINE LITTLE LADY, HA HA!" The host exclaimed, laughing at his own joke.

Frank glared at the the green gem, who now sitting on her luggage. "What are you, some sort of fuckin circus act?".

Another boat approached the dock Blasting shitty country music at max volume. It arrived and out jumped Sandy Cheeks from Spongebob.

"HOWDY Y'ALL" she screamed in her thickest country accent. For some reason she was still wearing her underwater suit on land.

"GLAD TO SEE YA MADE IT SANDY" Chris exclaimed as Sandy joined the others. She promptly pulled out her banjo and began to play.

Unfortunately, however, Sandy's Banjo would soon be ruined when a large Ship zoomed into port, splashing water on everyone. "MUH BANJO" she exclaimed in terror.

Out of this rather large ship walked out a young boy wearing sunglasses and a full suit. He said nothing as he approached the others with his suitcase.

"WE HAVE A VERY SPECIAL GUEST RIGHT HERE FOLKS. STRAIGHT FROM THE WHITE HOUSE, BARRON TRUMPPPPPP!" Barron simply shook Chris's hand, saying nothing, and walked over to join the others. He then pulled out his phone and began to browse r/minecraft.

The next contestant didn't arrive on a boat, they arrived via schoolbus; Magic Schoolbus.

A periscope peeked out of the water, frightening a few contestants. After it swiveled around a bit, it descended back into the water,and the bus proper surfaced, with Miss Frizzle from The Magic Schoolbus walking out.

"SNAZZY ENTRANCE MISS FRIZ" he yelled as Miss Frizzle took her place amongst the others. "Hello eveyrone" she said in a jolly voice. Her outfit for today was a poofy red dress with yellow stars on it, along with some hammer-and-sickle earrings. I guess she'd been teaching the kids about communism.

Another boat arrived, and this time 2 contestants came out of it. One of them was fat and the other was skinny. No, it wasn't Katy and Sadie you fucking idiots. It was Mike Stoklasa and Jay Bauman from RedLetterMedia! And they were both drunk!

They stumbled across the dock toward Chris. While Jay was just a little tipsy, Mike was fucking wasted.

"Jjay where the fuckc are we?" Mike said, slurring his words quite harshly "Rermember Mike? I toldd you we were gonna go ona game shhow" Jay replied. "What?" Mike said back.

"LOOKS LIKE THESE TWO HAVE BEEN HITTING THE SAUCE A LITTLE BIT, AHA HA" once again Chris was the only one laughing. The other contestants seemed a bit anxious. Frank leaned over to Jerma's ear, "Hey, shorty, what up with this guy is he high or something?" Jerma did not respond as, once again, he was reminded of his height.

The duo finally reached Chris, Mike saying "Hhey Chrris, howz it go-" before Mike could finish he fell to floor, clutching his stomach "Oh, oh god, oh god I'm gonnna thhrow upp" Mike dry heaved a bit, but there wasn't any time for that. Another contestant was approaching.

A big lumbering figure walked onto the dock rom their boat, causing shockwaves on the wooden structure. A few looked intimidated, a few looked puzzled, Mike was still dry heaving. The tall, muscular figure looked down at her fellow campers for few seconds and then let out a hearty laugh. She then let out in a thick russian accent "HELLO MY FRIENDS, HOW ARE YOU OF DOING THIS DAY". The figure was none other than Zarya from Overwatch. The pink-haired Giant's friendliness surprised the contestants. All except Mike and Jay, who were too drunk to notice.

Chris chimed in, "I SEE YOU'VE MET MISS ZARYANOVA, A WEIGHT-LIFTING CHAMPION!"

"INDEED, I LIFT THE HEAVY OBJECT WITH EASE; OBSERVE" she said. Zarya then proceeded to pick up Mike, who responded, drunkenly, "Puht me dohwn! Ihm gonnna hurl!". Jay rushed to defend his friend "H-hey put im down!". He tried to tackle her, but just ended latching onto her leg. "YAH, PUT THAT LIL FELLER DOWN" Sandy added, charging her with her banjo. She wasn't really paying attention, she just wanted to fight someone, as it is a common pastime in Texas. Through a series of chain reactions, a brawl erupted amongst the contestants. Zarya dominated, obviously, kicking the living shit out of Jay, whilst Mike continued to babble drunkenly.

It wasn't until Chris pulled out a fucking shotgun and fired a warning shot that the fight stopped "ALRIGHT LETS JUST STAY CALM HERE" Chris yelled, bloodshot eyes nearly bulging out of his head.

"Ahem"

Everybody turned to the edge of the dock, where someone new stood.

It was a male teenager with brown hair wearing a suit and tie, carrying with him a briefcase. It was motherfucking Goro Akechi from Persona 5.

"I hope I'm not interupting anything" he said, using a very polite voice.

"COURSE NOT!" Chris said, casually throwing his shotgun to the side. "CAMPERS, MEET GORO AKECHI, TEEN DETECTIVE AND ALL AROUND HUNK, NO HOMO BRO"

"Oh, uh, of course, Christopher" he said. (To himself) "What an odd thing to say"

"Well I just hope we can all get along and be friends" Akechi said, sporting a smile that just screamed "disingenuous".

"Me too mister, uh..." "Just Akechi is fine" he replied to George.

"STOP BEING FAGS GUYS, OKAY, WE GOTTA KEEP THIS SHOW ROLLING" Chris interupted. "NEXT CONTESTANT!".

An obese, tatooed man in a tanktop was the next to arrive on the island.

"MEET CHAD, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS ANYTHING4VIEWS"

"Whats up cunts" he said in his british accent. That was it.

Next up came Sargon of Akkad, another british youtuber.

"Ello everyone, how we doin" he said, setting his stuff down. Peridorp got a lil excited.

"HEY *snort* I know you!" she exclaimed. "You're that Sargon guy that everyone on /pol/ keeps talking about!"

"Oh really now?" he replied, his ego inflating. "So you've eard of me?"

"YEAH, *snort* they say you suck dude! hehheh!". Sargon wanted to punch that lil cunt but knew his enemies in the commentary community would only use this against him. "Heh, yeah...".

The next arrival was FBI Detective Norhman Jahyden from Heavy Rain.

"What the hells an FBI agent doing on a game show?" Jerma asked

"Well Jerahme, I'm actually here on business. Ya see a few years ago a girl got murdered on this island." The Bostonian Detective continued "They caught the guy who did it, but he never told where he hid her body. Well he ended up dying a few weeks ago, and the case was put on my desk. I figured 'why not just search the island where he killed her' so..." there was brief silence "thats why I'm here".

"But why are you contestant tho?" Zarya added.

"...Cuz I wanna win some money too" Norman said quietly.

"H'YUCK, GARSH" The constestants all looked to the sea, where, on a jetski, sat Goofy who was speeding toward the dock at a high velocity.

"HE'S GONNA HIT THE DOCK Y'ALL!" Sandy warned. Everyone moved out of the way of Goofy's jetski, which landed on the dock, nearly crushing Jay, who was laying unconsious.

"HYUCK, That was extreme dudes" he said, doing the Shaka sign.

"I'll bet it was extreme!" Miss Frizzle said, giving goofy a high five.

"GOOFY, MY MAN, KEEPING IT SPICY I SEE" Chris said, also giving him a high five

"huh, huh, HYUCK. keeping it spicy. OH HEY I ALSO PICKED UP THIS LIL DUDE ON MUH WAY HERE" he said, pulling out a rat from his hat. It was fucking Remmy from Ratatoulie.

"OH YEAH THATS ANOTHER CONTESTANT, THE RAT CHEF" Chris said. Remmy gave little "OK" sign and remained on Goofy's shoulder.

A few of the other contestants looked confused. What dumbass let a fucking rat compete in a game show?

Shortly after Goofy and Remmy arrived, another boat showed up carrying a burly black man. It was Mr T!

"T-MAN! WHATS UP DUDE? I LIKE YOUR CHAINS MAN" Chris said, desperately trying to get Mr T to notice him. It didn't work. Mr T simply joined the other campers, his gold chains glimmering in the sunlight.

The next 2 contestants arrived on the same boat. They were two older women with white hair. Grumbling could be heard from the shorter one as they walked off onto the dock, carrying their luggage. The Live Studio Audience applauded as the two came into frame. It was Dorothy and Sophia from The Golden Girls!

"Ma, for the last time, we are not going on vacation, we're going on a game show. A game show where could win 5 BILLION dollars!" Dorothy said, clearly fed up with her elderly mother, yet simultaneosly excited.

"Well excuse me, pussycat, its hard to keep track when you're pulling me around like this! One minute I'm sitting watching The Young and the Restless, next thing I know you're raving about winning '5 BILLION CLAMS' and that you've brought plane tickets to God-knows-Where Canada". A laugh track played. George looked around in confusion. "Hey, uh, you heard that too, right?" he asked Barron. Barron just ignored him and continued to browse reddit.

"You must be Mr Mclean" Dorothy said friendily, shaking the host's hand. I guess the drugs were wearing off cuz he didn't seem nearly as wild as before.

"THAT I AM MISS ZBORNAK, PLEASEURE TO MEET YA" Chris said. He shook dorothy's hand and she joined the others. "AND WHO MIGHT THIS FINE VIXEN BE" Chris said, obviously trying to superficially flatter Sophia.

"Can it, stretch" She said, walking by him as another laugh track played.

Jerma looked somewhat distressed "Why didn't he comment on her shortness?" he thought to himself.

Another duo arrived soon after. A somewhat pudgy italian in overall wheeled a stocky woman in a pink dress onto the dock. It was Mario and Princess Peach!

"YO, DUDE, WHY IS SHE IN A FUCKING WHEELCHAIR?!" Chris yelled, somewhat suprised. Princess Peach was in a wheelchair. Her head laid down on one side, her eyes almost souless. Her face seemed stuck in a permenant 'retard smile', with her mouth agape, leaking drool which was pooling on her dress.

"Oh-a" Mario began "Peach-a got into a wreck-a few month-a back-a. She suffered-a extensive-a damage to her-a spinal cord-a. Shes-a never been the same-a since." He looked a bit sad mentioning it. Mario must still be trying to adjust. It must be difficult caring for your significant other like that.

"WELL LOOK DUDE, WE DONT GOT ANY WHEELCHAIR RAMPS, AND BELIEVE ME" Chris looked to the camera "WE'RE NOT PAYING FOR ANY EITHER. SO YOU'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO MAKE DO WITH WHAT WE GOT, OKAY?". Chris sounded a lil annoyed. Mario simply nodded timidly and rolled peach to the other side of the dock. Princess Peach, having noticed Mr T, reached out to shake his hand, saying in a slow, painful, retarded voice "nice to mee u big boi". Mr T paid her no attention as he continued to stoically gaze forward.

Chris Mclean pulled out clipboard with what appeared to be a list on it. "ALRIGHT, I THINK THATS EVERYO-" "Wait!". Chris was cut off by feminine voice. He, and all the other campers, then noticed the final boat making its way to the Island.

"Please wait!" the voice said.

"HOW COULD I FORGET, STRAIGHT FROM THE DEPTHS OF HELL, OUR FINAL CONTESTANT, MISS TORIEL DREEMUURRRRRRRR!".

It was Toriel Dreemur from Undertable. You know, the goat lady? Well anyway she got off the boat and ran toward the others. "I am so sorry about being late Mr Mclean! I was making cookies for everyone, but they burned and I had to-" Chris put his finger to her lips.

"ALL THAT MATTER IS THAT YOU'RE HERE NOW, NOW GO JOIN THE OTHERS." Toriel quickly made her away to the now complete group of campers. She did her best to put on smile despite her clear social anxiety. Akechi took a particular interest in her.

"Um, pardon me, but is that fur?" he asked, pointing to her arm. Toriel, surprised, replied "o-O-OH YEs, heh heh, yes it is!" she then let out an akward chuckle. Akechi simply returned to his position, saying "I see...".

Before any other pointless interactions could occur between our campgoers, Chris rapidly beat a spoon and pot together obnoxiously "ALRIGHT! NOW THAT EVERYONES HERE, WHO THE FUCKS READY FOR OUR FIRST CHALLENGE!". He was really excited now; he must have done another line of coke off screen.

"Uh, aren't ya gonna show us where we need to,uh, ya know, put our stuff?" George asked "Yeah! *snort* I gotta charge my DS!".

"OH YEAH, WE'LL GET TO THAT" the host turned to the camera and gave a lil wink. "FIRST THINGS FIRST THOUGH, HOW BOUT A PICTURE" he then pulled out a shitty digital camera from the 90s and told them to get into place. All the campers got into positon. Mike and Jay had finally sobered up (at least up to point where they were conscious again) and so they joined the others. Peridorp forced Sargon to give her a piggy back ride, something which he detested. Finally, everyone had gotten into place and Chris smiled, a lil bit of blood trickling out of his nostril.

"SAY WAWANAKWA!"

"Wawanakwa!" they all said, some more enthusiastic than other.

Suddenly, the place on the dock where they were standing collapsed

"OHHH FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUCKK!" Mike yelled, kinda like he did in the 2016 Oscars Half in the Bag episode.

"FUCKING PRANKED YA BROS!" Chris yelled triumphantly, laughing like a twelve year old.

On the surface this looked like a good youtube-friendly prank, however a lot the campers ended up getting some pretty nasty splinters, and Peach almost drowned cuz, ya know, she has the nervous system of a fucking grape. After crawlling back on land, Chris hyperactively began to assign teams. "ALRIGHT. YOU ALL WILL BE DIVIDED INTO TWO TEAMS: THE RAPACIOUS RATS AND THE FLAMING FALCONS". Chris then began to arrange the campers into their respective teams. "FOR THE RATS, WE HAVE: FRIZZLE, JAYDEN, AKECHI, SANDY, GEORGE, T-DAWG (Chris is referring to Mr T here; his use of a nickname to build camraderie was unsuccessful, as Mr T remained silent), GOOFY, FRANK, DOROTHY AND SOPHIA, AND, MOST APPROPRIATELY, REMY". Chris let out a small laugh at this joke. Remy, meanwhile, was unsure if his placement on the team was racist or not. "REST OF YOU ARE ON TEAM FALCON".

The team members began to congregate together. Some looked happy with their teammates; others looked pissed.

"OH YEAH, BY THE WAY, IF YOU WANNA LAY DOWN SOME PERSONAL THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS IN PRIVATE, FEEL FREE TO HEAD DOWN TO ONE OF OUR OUTHOUSES. THERE, YOU CAN TELL THE FOLKS BACK HOME HOW YOU REALLY FEEL ABOUT SOMETHING" he turned to face the campers "OR SOMEONE".

****Confession: Jerma****

"Uh, ya know I'm glad to see that alot of my teammates are fellow youtubers, like Mike and Jay. I always liked their movie reviews, I kinda dsagreed on few of them, but they seem rather knowledgeable. And plus, ya know, being on a team with Barron Trump; I mean wow! Thats the president's son! I don't even like Trump but thats just soo cool to have, ya know, 'I was on a team with the president's son' I mean, thats just so cool. And plus, uh, I was talking with Toriel a little bit she seems nice, so, uh, I'd say I'm pretty optimistic about my teammates".

****End Confession****

****Confessional: Sargon****

"You know, I have to say, I am shocked that I of all people was put on the same team with the 2 fucking drunks. Not to mention that little green cunt. I mean, for fucks sake, I have almost 800,000 subscribers on my youtube channel, Alright? I make about £6,000 a month on Patrion and they put me in fucking meathead central. Fucking ridiculous.

****End Confession****

Akechi approached Norhman Jahyden "My apoligies, Mr. Jayden, but did I hear that you were a Federal Agent?" he asked. Norman seemed a suprised at the attention he was recieving. "Oh, uh, thats right. I've been on the force for about 6 or 7 years now" "I see, well I'm actually a detective myself" "Really now? You're able to balance investigative work with school?" "Yes. Its been somewhat difficult, but I've managed. Anyway I'd just like to say that I'm glad to have you on the team. Given your extensive experience, and my analytical mind, we should easily overcome any challenge presented" Akechi said whilst smiling. Norman never really had any friends, so he was happy that someone was trying to build rapport with him. "Well, uh, I'm glad to hear it. I look forward to working with you too". The two shook hands and then joined everyone else.

****Confessional: Akechi****

"I was glad to be put on team with Agent Jayden. Having a member of the FBI on my side could benefit me greatly. And seeing that none of the other contestants appear to be intellectually gifted, it appears that I simply got lucky". Akechi smiles brightly. "Heres hoping my good fortune lasts".

****End Confession****

****Confession: Frank****

"This is a fucking game show?".

****End Confession****

After the two teams got together, Chris led them to this two really shitty cabins that looked like they haven't been used in about 10 years.

"ALRIGHT, FALCONS GET ONE CABIN, RATS GET THE OTHER" he said, showing them their living quarters. For some reason, despite the 8:14 Female to Male ratio on the island, both sexes's compartment were of equal size, meaning that, despite there being 7 boys on each team, they only had 6 beds; someone would have to go bedless in the boy's room. This isssue was quickly resolved in the rat cabin, given that Remy was, you know, a fucking rat, so he could just sleep on a blanket or something. Things weren't that easy in the Falcon Cabin.

"Look cunt, if you think I'm givin' up my fuckin bed you can just forget about that" Anything4views said. He and Sargon had been argueing over a bed for the past few minutes. "You think just cuz you run a fuckin' youtube skeptic channel you need the bed more than I do? Your channels fucking cancer!". Mario stepped in. "Hey wait-a, how bout I sleep on the floor-a!". Mario didn't like conflict. He already had enough to deal with, what with Peach and all. Unfortunately, Chad and Sargon paid him little attention. This was no longer about the bed. "Well at least I'm not the dumbass who got a fucking Pewdiepie tattoo on his ass!" Sargon yelled. At the least the girls were getting along.

Peridorp had started charging her Nintendo DS and Laptop, calling the top bunk like the little gremlin she is. Zarya had only one bag, whose contents consisted of some dumbells and protein powders, one of which was turnip flavored. Mmm. Toriel spoke "Well, um, I know its not much, but I had prepared a few treats for everyone" she then held out a bag containing various sweets, such as cookies and brownies "I just hope we can all get alon-" before she could finish, Peridorp had jumped down and made a B-line to her bag. "Gimme some of that!" she yelled, grubbily grabbing like 12 cookies before returning to her nest. "oh yeah cookies" Peach said, just as slowly, and retardedly as before.

"Oh, um, here you go" Toriel said, placing a cookie in her hand. Peach slowly lifted the cookie into her mouth, clearly exerting much more energy than she was used to. She finally put the cookie in her mouth (only about halfway though), and began slow attempts at what appeared to be chewing. "Um, I can crush it up for you if you like" Toriel offered. Peach slowly turned her head and said, slowly, "nah dude" and then resumed her eating. "Zarya? Would you like som-" "Nyet! I must stay lean for competition!" the bodybuilder replied, doing her 700th pull up. Just then there was a large boom in the Boy's room, followed by even more yelling.

"YOU FUCKIGN MONGREL, YOU NEARLY DESTROYED MY LAPTOP" Sargon could be heard yelling. "OH BIG FUCKIGN DEAL, CUNT, AN ALIENWARE?! A FUCKING GAMING LAPTOP?! YOUR'RE SOO SMART AND YET YOU COULDN'T EVEN BUILD YOUR OWN FUCKING GAMING COMPUTER?!". Things were really getting heated now.

Meanwhile, Dorothy was busy unpacking in the Rat Cabin. Sophia had gone out to the bathroom, so she was talking with Miss Frizzle.

"So uh, Valerie, was it? I hear your a teacher" Dorothy said. "Yep, been teaching elementary school science since I got out of college" she responded, happily unpacking various ridiculous looking dresses. "Well, uh, I'm actually a teacher myself" Dorothy added. "Really? What do you teach?" Miss Frizzle asked.

"High School English, but I'm more of substitute" She replied. "Oh..." Miss Frizzle said, suddenly sounding much less enthusiastic.

"What is that, uh, that outfit you're wearing" Dorothy inquired, obviously referring to the Friz's soviet themed outfit. "Oh, my last lesson before arriving here was on teaching the kids about communism" she responded, touching her Hammer-and-Sickle earrings. Dorothy chuckled somewhat "Well I should hardly think it's appropriate to wear something so bizarre to teach children about communism" "Well, maybe that's why I'm an actual teacher and not a substitute like you" Miss Frizzle responded, still maintaining her iconic smile.

Dorothy was somewhat shocked at her response. She didn't know how to respond such a passive-aggressive comment. Before she could come up with a sufficient comeback, Miss Frizzle said "Oh, sounds like there some sort of commotion outside, I better go handle it. After all, real teachers are better equipped to handle situations like this". And with that she took her leave, with Sophia entering as she left.

"Hey Pussycat, you pack any popcorn? The two brits out there are ready to rip each other's heads off and I want front row seats" she said, garnering a laugh from the live studio audience. "Ma, have you talked to Miss Frizzle at all?" Dorothy asked. "What, you mean 'miss poofy dress'?" Another laugh track. "Yeah, I talked to her, she seems nice" "Ma, you should have heard the way she talked to me, it was belittling, I felt humiliated!" "Look Pussycat, I'm sure you're exaggerating, and besides you probably provoked her, you have a tendency of talking down to others too ya know". "I do not!" her daughter replied, offended.

As the two argued, the camera transitioned to the boy's room next door. Remy was busy making his lil rat bed whilst Mr. T sat alone reading book called A Comprehensive History of Western Philosophy. He appeared to be in deep thought. Meanwhile, George attempted to make small talk as he unpacked. "So uh, Frank, does our placement on the show seem kinda odd to you?" he asked. "What, that they put the two bald fat guys with glasses on the same team? Yeah I sort of noticed" he replied, unpacking what little he had.

"Are those steaks" George asked "What?". Inside of Frank's suitcase was very little clothing. There were, however, a few T-bones wrapped in plastic, along with 6-pack of canned champagne and some spices. "Yeah, I brought a few steaks, figured we could have a cookout or something" "You thought steaks were more important to bring than another pair of shorts?" George said incredulously. "I thought this was just a weekend trip. Ya know, I thought I'd come here, have a nice, relaxing weekend, and then leave with this big cash prize. I didn't expect to be on some sort of reality show. Oh yeah, by the way, I'm gonna need to borrow some of your clothes" "What?" "Yeah I figured since you and I got similar bodies we could share clothing, what's yours is mine and vice versa". "I don't know about that, Frank" George said warily. Frank put his arm around George's shoulder. "Look, You and me could go far, kid. We got a work as a team though. And part of being in a team is trust. Are you with me?" he asked. George thought for a bit.

****Confession: George****

"I'm not even really sure why I decided to get involved with Frank. The whole steaks thing just seemed so bizarre, I mean they weren't even refrigerated. They could've have gone bad for all I know. What kind of a guy does that?".

****Confession End****

Frank looked happy "Good, kid, that's real good. You've made a good decision. From now on you and me are gonna be like brothers. We're gonna have each other's backs; we'll go through thick and thin together. Tell ya what" Frank then pulled a switchblade "Lets make a pact right here" "A pact?" "Yeah, you and me are gonna be blood brothers." Frank then painfully cut the palm of hand open, blood leaking out of it. "Alright now you cut your hand and we'll put our hand together, that way our blood mixes". "I don't think so Frank" George said, backing up reluctantly. "Come on George!" "No, that's unsanitary!". Before things could escalate further, there came a scream from outside.

"GET THE HELL OFF ME YOU FAT FUCK". It was Sargon. Anything4views had him in a headlock. For some reason he had taken his shirt off, further adding to the bizarreness of the scene. The majority of the campers stood and formed a circle around the pair, whose argument had clearly devolved into violence. "YOU STILL WANT THAT BED, CUNT?! HUH?!". Some, like Toriel, appeared worried; Others, like Sophia and Frank, were amused. "Now we're talkin!" the elderly woman said, a laugh track playing. Jerma and Norman were attempting to hold Chad back, with little success.

****Confession: Akechi****

"I would've thought that the two British people would've gotten along. It appears that deduction was incorrect".

****End Confession****

Sargon managed to get a good punch in on Chad's jaw, disorienting him "FUCK" he yelled, recoiling in pain. The British skeptic managed to get out from underneath him, but Anything4views managed to grab the back of his shirt "GET BACK HERE, CUNT!" he yelled. Before the brawl could continue, Mr. T stoically emerged from the cabin and walked to the center of the field, grabbing the two and separating them.

"I pity the fool who makes war instead of love!" he said, chastising the two youtubers. "As the great Leo Tolstoy once said 'In the name of God, stop a moment, cease your work, look around you!'". The two turned to face the crowd that had gathered. Many were scared or shocked by what they had been doing. Toriel looked about ready to cry.

Feeling guilty, Chad and Sargon both got up. "Sorry bout all that, guess we just kinda got carried away ther-" Sargon said. Before he could finish, Chris reappeared riding a Segway. He then ploughed through the crowd and into the center of the group "ALRIGHT, OUR FIRST FIGHT OF THE SEASON!" he yelled, before doing a few donuts in his Segway. It was a pretty obnoxious, and the fact that he was firing a desert eagle into the air simultaneously didn't help.

"YOU GUYS READY FOR OUR FIRST CHALLENGE?!?" he screamed. The donuts were getting really tight now. "Can we not eat first, I am very hungry. I feel like I could eat tree" Zarya said. "FUCK THAT, WE'VE ALREADY WASTED WAY TOO MUCH FUCKING TIME ON THIS INTRODUCTION BULLSHIT. GET YOUR FUCKIN SWIMSUITS ON AND MEET ME IN LIKE 10 MINUTES OR ELSE WE'RE SENDING IN THE DOGS" and with that, the host left just as fast he came.

****Confession: Anything4views****

"Sargon got fucking lucky, okay? If Chris hadn't of shown I up I would've fuckin destroyed him. If he ever tries anything like that again he's dead!".

****End Confession****

Anyway so everyone got their swimsuits on except for Remy since, ya know, he was a rat. And around the time they arrived to meet Chris is when Mike finally sobered up. "OH MY GAWWWWWWWWWWWDDDDD" he yelled as the camera panned out, revealing that they were all standing on a very large cliff.

Then the episode ended.

AN: hey guys Clodd Howard here coming at ya with another hot n spicy story. sorry the first chapter was such shit I had to get everyone introduced. trust me though the next chapter will be better I swear. make sure to leave some spicy reviows to tell what you thought about my story though. thanks guys :)