Shuichi Shindou, hyperactive pink-haired vocalist of Bad Luck, stood on the porch of romance novelist Eiri Yuki's home after being kicked out yet again. He sighed and stared at the rain-soaked street in front of him. At least he had a coat this time. It was fairly cold out, and it didn't help that he was wearing shorts and a muscle tank under it. Shuichi glanced sadly at the door behind him, then walked the length of the driveway, letting his silent tears mingle with the rain.
You took your coat off
Stood in the rain
You were always crazy like that
And I watched from my window
Always felt I was outside
Looking in on you
He paused at the end of the driveway and gazed at the sky, despondently eyeing the dark clouds overhead as they released their weight upon the world. Shuichi took off his coat, which was drenched by the downpour anyway, and closed his eyes, letting the rain wash away any and all of his thoughts.
Yuki watched him from the second story window, a lit cigarette hanging from his mouth. He removed the cigarette and blew a cloud of smoke at the glass, shaking his head.
"Idiot." The author resisted the urge to open the window and voice his thoughts to the youth below. His usually cold tawny eyes softened slightly. Why did Shuichi love him so? He was heartless, condescending, and sarcastic – in short, a veritable bastard.
However, these facts apparently did not deter the young vocalist from doting on him. It was as if Shuichi couldn't see any of that. Yuki couldn't recall a time when he had ever been the ideal boyfriend that the singer and – dare he admit this to himself? - he wanted to be. Something always stopped him.
You're always the mysterious one
With dark eyes and careless hair
You were fashionably sensitive but too cool to care
You stood in my doorway with nothing to say
Besides some comment on the weather
Shuichi opened his eyes, inhaling slowly. The rain had lessened a bit, as if responding to his emotions. He shivered suddenly as a chill coursed its way down his spine. For reasons unknown to the musician, an image of Eiri materialized in his mind.
Despite their golden hue, Yuki's eyes were unusually dark. They reminded Shuichi of a cat – enigmatic, beautiful, but distant. And yet, each time those ocher pools fixed their gaze upon his own amethyst ones, he could feel himself drowning, dying a thousand blissful deaths, in them.
Yuki's messy tresses, not unlike Shuichi's own, also intrigued him. He loved the way they fell over one eye, obscuring it completely. A small smile crossed Shuichi's features as he envisioned the writer sitting at his desk, tapping furiously away at his laptop, blonde hair cascading in a waterfall in front of his face. It was times like that when Shuichi loved him most – diligently working, shutting out the world around him. He was content to watch him from the doorway.
Small talk, however, was wasted on Yuki, as it usually fell on deaf ears. The singer's smiled faded as he remembered the many one-sided conversations they would have each day. Maybe that was the reason as to why he was temporarily expelled from the apartment.
Shuichi stood by the doorway, watching the rain fall. Soft but rapid clicks, coming from Yuki's laptop, filled the room, along with the occasional low rumble of thunder in the distance.
"Nice weather, ne, Yuki?" Hopeful violet eyes turned to the novelist.
"Mmn…" was his only reply.
Then again, Yuki never needed justifiable grounds on which to kick Shuichi out.
In case you failed to notice
In case you failed to see
This is my heart
Bleeding before you
This is me
Down on my knees
He only wanted to be close to Yuki. However, it seemed that everything he did only succeeded in infringing on the writer's personal bubble or annoying him immensely. To be with the one that he loved… was that a fruitless endeavor? A small sob escaped Shuichi's lips.
He sank to his knees and stared at the pavement. His physical shows of affection… the incessantly repeated 'I love you's… did they mean a thing to him? Did they ever reach the novelist's heart of steel?
"Yuki…" he whispered softly.
These foolish games
Are tearing me apart
And your thoughtless
words are breaking my heart
You're breaking my heart
Shuichi lifted his head, heliotrope orbs radiating anger and sorrow.
"WHY, YUKI?!" the musician shouted at the top of his lungs. "ALL I DO IS LOVE YOU, AND THIS IS WHAT I GET IN RETURN?! WHY SHOULD I EVEN WASTE MY TIME ON YOU?! TELL ME, YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD!!"
Yuki gazed at him expressionlessly. After hearing the same kind of rant day after day, he had learned to tune it out. However, he found that he could not ignore this one. Yuki felt a sharp stab in his chest as he realized he could not answer the pink-haired vocalist.
Shuichi began to cry, inaudibly at first, then gradually building in volume and intensity until sobs wracked his small frame. He wrapped his arms around himself, trying to recover a small amount of control, but to no avail.
"Why, Yuki…? Why must you torture me so?"
You're always brilliant in the morning
Smoking your cigarettes
And talking over coffee
Your philosophy's an art
Baroque moved you; you loved Mozart
And you'd speak of
your loved ones
As I clumsily strummed my guitar
"I only want to love you…" Shuichi whispered to the cold concrete. "Dear God…am I asking for too much? To love and be loved in return?"
He averted his eyes to the sky, searching for an answer he knew would never come. It was futile. Try as he might, it was fool's folly to even dare to dream of breaking through the iron defenses that surrounded the author's heart. A small, cheerless smile crossed Shuichi's countenance.
I am a fool. A damned, hopeless fool. And yet… I cannot help but feel this way. He wrapped his arms tightly around his diminutive frame, hoping to attain some sense of warmth. Although my love will never reach you, I still continue to love you endlessly…You'd teach me of all these things
Things that are daring, things that are clean
Things that knew what an honest dollar did mean
I hid my soiled hands behind my back
Somewhere along the lines I got off track with you
Yuki continued to watch Shuichi from the windowpane. He had never seen him appear as fragile as he was at that moment. In spite of his bubbly nature, which completely clashed with his own cold-blooded personality, he felt a strong attraction to the singer whom he was so often at odds with.
Shuichi would never know, but he had taught the insensitive author that he was much more thoughtful than he first appeared. Of course, his writing skills could never hope to compare with Yuki's, but it was always a pleasure to see him try.
Each time the musician would come to him with a new set of lyrics, violet eyes sparkling with optimism, Yuki would only crush his spirits with words such as "Zero talent", "Just give up", or "A grade school kid could do better". And each time Shuichi went away with his head down, Yuki would stare after him, wanting to offer a remark of advice, but his shame at having being so callous, not to mention his pride, would stop him from calling him back.
He loved the little imp, whether he wanted to admit it to himself or not. His facial expressions, the way he spoke so boldly…
And yet he could not express it. He was much too proud for that.
Excuse me, I think I've mistaken you for somebody else
Somebody who gave a damn
Somebody more like myself
I continue to love you in the hopes that you will, one day, love me too. To see a smile, however small, upon your face and to know that I am the reason behind it… that is my fervent wish, my silent prayer, Shuichi thought to himself. A soft chuckle escaped his lips. But can I break through your barriers, my love? Can't you trust your heart to me?A fresh wave of sadness threatened to engulf the pink-haired vocalist and send him spiraling down into depression. Shuichi suddenly felt extremely dizzy, his health having been depleted by his outbursts and the weather.
Yuki's eyes widened slightly as he noticed Shuichi swaying a little. The singer looked as if he were about to faint. Grabbing his coat, he quickly dashed down the stairs in an uncharacteristic display of emotion.
These foolish games
Are tearing me apart
And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart
You're breaking my heart
Shuichi could barely see anymore. His vision was blurring, and his breathing was coming in ragged gasps. It seemed that he was coming down with a fairly high fever. He coughed hoarsely. This did not bode well.
"Yuki…" he murmured. Feeling the last of his strength leave him, Shuichi could keep his composure no longer and began to fall forward. He mentally braced himself for the impact of the sidewalk, but it never came. Instead, it appeared that he collided with something soft and warm. He looked up, only to find the hypnotic amber eyes he had desperately longed to see.
"Idiot. You should have kept your coat on." However, there was no trace of malice in Yuki's words, but concern. The novelist picked him up and cradled his lover in his arms. Shuichi could only gape in astonishment at the abnormal show of tenderness he was receiving from Yuki.
"Yuki…"
You took your
coat off
Stood in the rain
You're always crazy like that
Yuki took his coat off and gently wrapped the musician inside of it. A lone tear slid down Shuichi's cheek. The author kissed the teardrop away and, without another word, carried him to the apartment. Shuichi snuggled against Yuki's chest, unable to believe that this was really happening to him.
Maybe he wasn't so heartless after all.
OWARI
