She rolled over in her bed. She couldn't sleep. She never could, not on that day. Not on that fake day. Not on the day her little world crumbled.
She would always disapear around Lurlinemas. Liir and Nanny knew she didn't want to talk. She never did, not anymore.
She couldn't see anyone, not Killyjoy, not Chistery. She couldn't deal with being near anyone she cared about. Couldn't bare seeing someone she loved hurt. And she did love them, in her own way.
But this day. It brought out the worst memories, the blood. The acid-tears. No, she couldn't see anyone.
So she just quietly laid on her side in her little bed, staring at the shuttered window. She wondered if she could just sleep for a day, a week. She wondered if she could sleep forever. They wouldn't miss her. Not really. They would be better off.
She felt warm. Liir must have started a fire in the next room, meaning well. He had turned fourteen that fall, and was becoming more man than boy. Which made him all the harder to look at, as he became more and more like...
No, she couldn't think that way, not today. She would start crying, and would never stop, until her face was covered in scars.
So she turned sorrow to anger, as she always did, and shoved her window open. She pulled herself up to the ledge, the roof of her tower. She looked. She quickly realised how cold she really was, but didn't particularly care.
She looked out at the firey sky. She was alone, and it was quiet. The crickets were too cold to chirp. She looked at the sky and thought of him, saw the fading blue, a color she always assosiated with him. And then the bloody red. She gasped and forced herself inside, marveling at her stupidity. How she could turn something so beautiful into murder.
She cried a little, feelig worse, remembering the time she'd cried with him, the day she let her mask slide away, let him protect her.
But she couldn't return the favor, not when it mattered.
But then, as she pushed herself into her bed, she saw a little design in some spilled herbs, scattered on her table. Fiyero + Fae She gazed skyward despite herself. She let herself pretend she really did feel the warm breeze across her cheek.
Perhaps she did.