I was never one for love. Personally, love was just a waste of time. Who needed it? Especially this day in age when titans roamed the lands; but for some reason, everyone wanted to be in love. I don't blame them…I mean, for a lot of the human population, living long was a luxury, and to have someone to live long with…well then you were just lucky. But alas, even though I never cared about love, somehow I learned how to love someone. That someone would end up being the only person I could ever love, and I took that love for granted. I'll explain that later, though, for now…I'll keep you in present day.

Lately, the Garrison buzzed with news about the titan attacks. The walls were falling, and many soldiers in the Garrison were scared out of their wits. I couldn't help but sigh loudly as I leaned against the wall of the Garrison Headquarters. It was different with the Garrison. Not as much action as I was used to when I was with the Survey Corps. It was almost boring in comparison to the Survey Corps honestly.

"Ahna…if you fall asleep against the wall, I won't help you off the floor this time." A smirk crept across my lips at the deep familiar voice in front of me. I opened my eyes slowly, staring at the dark chocolate brown eyes of my current boyfriend of 1 year, Damien Montgomery. He was tall, nicely tanned with short brown hair that was almost perfectly messy all the time. He crossed his arms over his chest and smiled down at my rather short 5'2 self.

"It's not like it'd be much of a chore for you…I am only 115 lbs…you'd just have to manage bending over to get me." He chuckled, his amazing smile spread wide across his face. He reached out, grabbing me and pulling me into a tight embrace. My head rested comfortably against his muscular chest as my hands grasped the sides of his shirt tightly.

"Only because you're cute would I do it." I giggled pulling away from him, shaking my head.

"So what's on the agenda for today?" I asked making my way to the HQ living room and plopping down on one of the couches.

"Well, we're pretty much on call, like usual, incase anything happens today. Other than that, we're free to just hang out." Damien made his way over, sitting next to me.

"There's never any action." I whined leaning into him. He chuckled wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

"Well miss Survey Corps, sorry we don't exceed your expectation. Isn't nice to be away from all the danger though?" It was nice…but I constantly had the urge to run outside the walls and kill something. Yet for years, I've been locked behind the stone walls, safely in the middle, rarely having to do much. I hated it. I hated not doing more for humanity. No one understood why I wanted to hop the walls and risk my ass every day. Most of the Garrison probably would never understand. I shrugged closing my eyes as I leaned against him.

"Honestly I miss it sometimes. The danger kept me looking forward. I feel so restless here." Damien sat silently, but I could feel his stare against my head. "What?"

"So you're not the type to settle down and be a house-wife are you?" This made me laugh.

"Not at all." My eyes were still closed, as I felt Damien shift uncomfortably. He knows I'm not one for all the lovey-dovey forever and ever stuff. The sole fact I still won't say I love you was proof of that.

"Well that's a shame, but I can work with that. " Confused I opened my eyes to look at him. Before I could look up, a gorgeous diamond ring stared me in the face. Oh…no no no. This is bad. This is really bad. My internal alarms started flaring wildly. "Ahna I love you."

"Um…Damien…" He shushed me before I could continue. We both sat up and look at each other. The knot in my stomach tightened as I stared scared out of my mind at the hopeful face in front of me.

"Ahna I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Even if you don't want to stay home, or have kids…I just want you in my life." Damien noooo! I mentally yelled.

"Damien I…" He smiled warmly, his face completely heart-wrenchingly hopeful. How could I tell him no? He knew practically nothing of my past…and for good reason. Thoughts of my past swarmed through my head crazily. I was going to have to tell him the truth about my past. This was a conversation I really never wanted to have with him. "Look Damien I can't marry you I'm sorry." The utter shock on his face…the confusion and hurt….It felt like my heart was going to explode.

"Why? Ahna please think this through." Even his voice was hopeful still. I sighed loudly.

"Damien stop, I have thought this through, a lot…I can't marry you I'm sorry." He shook his head looking down at his lap, trying to find words to say. "I really am sorry, and I care for you a lot…I just…"

"Don't love me." He finished my sentence. It sounded so horrible…but it was true. I stayed silent, staring up at him guiltily. "I knew you didn't like to say it…but I didn't think you felt it. Why would you keep this relationship going and waste my time if you didn't love me?"

"I was being selfish. I wanted to love you, to be in love with you. I wanted to be your wife…but I just can't push this…issue I have." He looked at me confused.

"What issue? We can work through any issue Ahna…" I shook my head.

"No we can't."

"So just open up to me, tell me the truth please! What is stopping you?"His voice was starting to get frantic. He's going to flip his stack once he hears it….but here goes nothing.

"I love someone else." Silence. Note to self…kill myself later. His face began to distort with such hurt. If he cries I am for sure feeding myself to a titan. In an instant his face and eyes became cold as ice, shocking me.

"Who is it?" His voice was calm and quiet. "When did you start loving him?" I sat silent for a moment unsure of what to say. Only two people ever knew about the other person I loved. Explaining that relationship was like trying to explain why titans eat people and not animals. "God damnit Ahna answer me! You owe me that!" I nodded slowly after his outburst.

"Just let me explain okay…" His icy cold stare wasn't very reassuring. I sighed loudly…"Captain Levi Rivaille…"

"WHAT?! YOU LOVE HIM?! WHEN DID THAT START?"

"About 8 years ago." Damien stared at me confused. "Like I said let me explain. We dated 8 years ago. No one knew about it since we kept everything quiet." I bit my lip, unsure if I wanted to explain the rest of the details.

"Didn't you transfer to the Garrison 6 years ago?" I nodded. "So you were with him for 2 years? What happened?" I couldn't help but gulp, making Damien suspicious. "Did he hurt you?"

"No no, nothing like that." I kept slowly shaking my head, the memories of my past stinging, reminding me of the pain I went through. "I…was pregnant." Damien stared completely stunned, now. "I was 8 weeks pregnant…and we never knew. I miscarried when a titan grabbed me, and squeezed me so hard…." My voice started to crack. Thankfully Damien gave me my time to try to breathe before I continued. "Levi cut the titan's hand…and I fell nearly two stories. The doctors weren't sure when I had miscarried, whether it was in the titan's hand…or when I fell but…" My voice got extremely soft. "There was just so much blood…and over the course of our last few months together…Levi was just cold. It was like we didn't even know each other. I couldn't stay with the Survey Corps after that. I couldn't continue to face Levi after that. You were my second chance at a good normal life…" I tried to explain.

"But yet you still love Levi and basically this was just a waste of my time like I said." Damien stood up clearly pissed off.

"I told you I wanted a normal life with you…I really did."

"What you 'did' want and what you 'do' want are two very different things. You need to get your shit straight." He walked towards the window staring outside, his posture…and aura completely different.

"Damien…" He held his hand up to shush me.

"My title is Captain Damien Montgomery, start getting used to using it because we're done here." His voice was as cold as ice. This time it was my heart that ached. I was completely speechless. Nevertheless, I stood up straight, my long brown hair slightly covering my face, and began to walk out the door. "By the way, I'll have you're transfer papers for the Survey Corps ready by tomorrow. Pack your things; you're no longer part of the Garrison. If you still love him, you can go back to him." I bit my lip to stop from crying. He turned and looked at me for some sort of response. All I could do was nod my head once, before slipping out of the door and practically running to my room.

Sitting on my bed, I could barely feel a thing. I wasn't hungry…wasn't tired…I was more scared than anything. After 6 years….I was about to face Levi again, and not even willingly. Tomorrow was either going to suck horribly….or it was going to be semi decent. One thing was for sure…At least I could go back to killing titans!