Title: Voices Over the Phone
Rating: M
Warnings: incest, violence, swearing
Pairing: implied Sam/Dean
Spoilers: up to and including AHBL:2
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Eric Kripke et al. No profit made in the creation of this.
Notes: This is a companion to Who Can Afford It? using Bobby's point of view. Like its compansion, it picks up after the end of season 2. This is an alternate take on what could have happened and as such does not take into account anything from season 3. Comments and crit welcome and appreciated.
"Take care boys."
Sam's long arm waves from the Impala's window, lazy and loose like he's driving into an easy summer day instead of off to fight demons and monsters. Dean waves and grins through the window. He looks so joyful; even with demons on the prowl Dean is happy because he's got Sam with him. They haven't really stopped touching each other since they closed the gate. Dean is still looking at Sam like he can't believe it's not a dream. He keeps giving Sam small quick touches like he needs to feel his brother's solid body under his fingers. Sam is same but his touches are longer and Dean never shakes them off. He can see Dean's arm draped over Sam's shoulders as they drive off. Sam is the only touchstone Dean has except for maybe that car.
It still makes Bobby sick to think about the deal. When he stops for a break he sees Dean's eyes sliding away from him to look at the ground. Sometimes he just wants to kill John for putting his boys through the wringer like that and the worst of it is that Bobby can understand why John did it - he had a war and his sons weren't going to die because they didn't have the right skills. Dean has always been told to protect Sam, to look after Sam, and somehow John managed to make that Dean's driving force; turn Sam into Dean's only solid reason for living. Now Dean has a year and he's fucking happy about it because Sam is going to live. He remembers Dean in the years Sam was gone – wild and reckless with too much fighting and drinking and not enough care for himself – he's more worried about the boy now than he was back then.
He hears from them a month later. Sam calls and explains the situation to him which is mighty helpful since Dean, stubborn bastard that he is, didn't give him the exact wording. Sam always has been the most precise of the three when it comes to doing things. He'd bet that Sam went over it with Dean until he was positive that his brother hadn't forgotten any little detail, any tense, any little technicality in the wording that would show him a loophole. He tells Sam he'll look because he's been looking anyway. No matter how little Dean thinks of himself Bobby thinks he deserves better and he isn't going to just give up.
Ellen shows up to get a talisman and ends up staying for week. She and Jo are hunting together but it's strained and they need time apart after a bit.
"She's not a little girl anymore and I just can't get used to it."
She sighs and tosses back more of his whiskey, "You hear from them?"
"They're hunting; in Iowa last time I talked to 'em."
"You ever hear . . . things about Sam?"
Ellen is fiddling with her glass. He's known her long enough to know when she's trying to be cautious about something and so he doesn't say that of course he's heard things about Sam Winchester. By now he'd be surprised to meet a hunter who hasn't at least heard a whisper about Sam. Hunters might be solitary but they gossip like small towns and Bobby's never been one to turn a deaf ear to it.
"What sort of things?"
She pours more whiskey, "Just little things, like they show up for hunts before anything really happens – like they know what's going to happen before it happens. You can't not have noticed that it only started when Sam came back. People exorcise a demon and sometimes they say something. Demons don't talk about normal people Bobby, we both know that, but they talk about Sam Winchester. You know Jethro?"
He nods, he knows Jethro, won't have anything to do with the crazy bastard not after seeing the aftermath of one of his "exorcisms" that looked more like a torture victim.
"I don't approve of his methods you know but he says that a demon told him Sam was meant for their army, meant to be a general and now this thing with the Devils' Gate. You saw him kill a human Bobby. You can't tell me you don't wonder."
Bobby reminds himself that Ellen never saw the boys growing up, she only meet them when they were both hurting after John's death. Ellen never got to hear Sam's sweet laughter or watch Dean telling him bedtime stories.
"Sam was the nicest kid you ever saw Ellen. He's had a shitty hand but under it all he's still that kid. Yeah, he killed Jake but you never saw what happened before. He knifed Sam right in the back. It was a hell of a time gettin' him patched up."
He isn't lying that badly and somehow he doesn't want Sam's return from the dead to be known. It's just the sort of thing that people could get all hot to trot about; not that he doesn't trust Ellen but he's had too many years of keeping his cards close to just blurt out something that big. Besides, it's not his secret to tell. She sighs and drains the glass.
"I just worry you know. There's somethin' going on. Sam had Ash running all sort of things down for him and Dean was just as bad. It just makes me wonder what they were lookin' for 'cause it can't all have been for that demon of theirs."
"They're good boys. John, he raised 'em alright even if Sam's more stubborn than he ever was."
"I know."
That night he dreams of Sam running through the junk yard with Dean chasing after him. Sam is shrieking with laughter, the unrestrained happy laugh of a child who still sees the good in the word, while Dean is grinning and yelling mock threats at his brother. He watches the brothers tussling on the ground and they morph into Dean holding Sam's body and rocking. It's looking into Dean's blank eyes and seeing flames dance in them that wakes him up. He listens to Ellen breathing and tries to fall asleep. It's a long night.
Ellen leaves and he finds that he doesn't mind. It's been too many years and too many dead for him to be comfortable with people hanging around all the time. She hugs him tight and says "Call once in a while."
Then she's gone leaving him behind in a dusty back room with a pressing need to get to another source. It's always another source, another shot, another wild guess to try and save Dean.
When Sam calls for updates he sounds stressed and fatigue makes his voice take on the gravel of a two pack a day habit. When Sam confides that he has no more visions it's a bit of a surprise because the boys had never told him outright that Sam had visions in the first place. He thinks Sam must be testing him for some reason but he doesn't know what. A loss of a possibly demonic power should be good. In his book it's good.
"I'm normal Bobby." Sam says and it's the first time he's sounded happy since Wyoming. Bobby can't help feeling like Sam's trying to convince himself.
"I need 'em back."
"Jesus Sam, you know what time it is?"
"Oh, sorry but this is important Bobby. I gotta get them back. It's the only way."
"You want to be more than human again?"
Sam makes a little unhappy sound, "No but it's . . . I don't see another option here. We've looked and there isn't anything out there besides this. You know it and I know it and I need to get those powers."
"Sam, it's black magic, you're going to ruin yourself to save your brother."
"If that's what it takes then yeah I am."
"Dean wouldn't want you to. Hell, I don't want you to."
"Shut up Bobby. I'm doing this one way or another. I have to do this for Dean."
"You think he'd want that? He sacrificed himself for you and you're throwing it away."
He can hear Sam breathe, like he's preparing himself for something.
"It won't kill me. Are you helping or not?"
Sam is so confident, so sure of himself that for a second Bobby can almost put aside his worries as foolishness.
"I'll see what I can find,"
"Thanks Bobby."
"Don't thank me for this." He says and hangs up.
He isn't surprised when Dean calls the next day. Dean has always been focused on Sam, always had a good idea of what his brother was doing. Dean's voice has the rough edge of smoke inhalation riding it and Bobby wonders what the boys have been killing.
"Hey Bobby, um… look Sam is probably going to be calling you, if he hasn't already. Well you know how it is and Sam wants to change it."
"Of course he wants to change it. Sam wants to save you."
"It ain't happenin' Bobby. I made that deal and you know there isn't any way to fix that sort of thing. I got some time." Dean's breathing shudders over the crackle of the phone lines and Bobby wonder how long it's going to take Dean to get to his point.
"Not much."
"I. . . It doesn't matter. Bobby, if Sam asks you to look up things, promise me that you won't."
"Why the hell shouldn't I Dean? You want to burn? You honestly don't want him to try?"
"He's my brother Bobby and I don't want him to do something stupid."
"You mean like you. Christ Dean, I still can't believe you'd do that after all your Daddy taught you."
"I had to. It's Sam."
Like that is supposed to make everything obvious. Bobby sighs as he lets the silence fill the phone lines. He thinks of Sam's call. Those boys are so close it's like they could be one person sometimes.
"Look," Dean breaks the silence, his voice hard, "I just need you do this thing for me. I don't want Sam to get hurt."
"He's a big boy, he knows what he's doing."
"I gotta go Bobby. Bye. Just think about at least?"
He finds two versions of the spell to give Sam back his powers but he only gives him the cleaner one – that being a such a relative term where they are both darker than a normal zombie raising. These are spells that nobody with any knowledge would touch – not when it would taint them irrevocable. He's sure that Sam would never condone it expect for Dean's deal. Sam is going to save his brother. When he says anything about it there is no hesitation, no self doubt, no acknowledgement that Sam is going to do anything but save Dean. For his part Dean has called twice more and begged Bobby not to let Sam do anything stupid. Sam thanks Bobby for the spell but his politeness is the distant politeness of a stranger, not the politeness of a kid who ran wild through his books and sat listening to him ramble on about true myths. When Sam phones wondering how fresh the fresh monkshood needs to be Bobby has the horrible feeling that Sam has gotten a hold of his spell's nastier cousin. He tries to warn Sam, tries to tell him not to be a fool by tainting himself that much.
"If you're doing this go with the light black magic not the heavy stuff. The light's good enough."
Sam hangs up. Bobby throws himself into finding some alternative to break the deal but nothing appears to him; he keep at it until his eyes sting and all he can smell are decaying books. He keeps the spell – the one he's sure Sam is using – tucked into his pocket for quick reference. He watches the papers and listens to people talk, waiting for a sign that Sam has started.
The boys are hunting a werewolf in Tennessee when Bobby sees Sam's first murder in the papers. If he didn't know about the werewolf (how could he not when he pointed the hunt out?) he would have automatically assumed the murder was connected but he does so he knows better. It's a sure sign Sam has deliberately picked the darker spell. Bobby wonders how Dean is dealing – he's remarkably good at overlooking the flaws of his family but this is big. Bobby hopes he doesn't notice but he has his doubts that even Dean can overlook murder. God he doesn't want Dean to notice that – having to deal with Sam doing that would just be the icing on the cake for that boy's last year of life. He's already had one phone call from Dean wondering if maybe the demon was right, maybe Sam hasn't come back pure Sam, maybe something dark and twisted is slowly taking over his Sam. At the time he'd assured Dean that Sam was just fine. Demons lie and Sam is still handling holy water so why worry about that? Dean had listened and that's one thing he'll say for John's parenting, Dean's got a healthy respect for authority that comes in mighty useful at times. But listening to Dean stumble and hesitate over his worries instead of his usual cocky bluntness had made him ache. So when he sees the paper talking about the savageness of the mauling and increasing violence in the attacks, well he just hopes that Sam is smart enough to make sure Dean sees it as another werewolf victim. Sam is convinced he can't trust the lighter spell and he's hung up both times that Bobby has mentioned it. Dean does not need this adding to his worries about his baby brother. Sometimes he could just kill Sam Winchester.
After the first murder, he follows their hunts more closely, watching for the next time Sam will be bloodying his hands. It's after the third that Bobby realizes Sam always picks the most violent bloody hunts to do his work in. The hunts where newspapers throw around words like grisly and torture murder. It makes him sick to think of Sam Winchester doing something to another human that could be described as torture murder. Sam had wanted to rehab werewolves when he was younger; now he's leaving their prey in pieces – in worse ways than any werewolf ever would. Bobby prays to God that Dean will remain willfully blind. He can't get out of the deal and Bobby knows that Dean will never endanger Sam's life to save his own.
Sam phones him three days after he has found out about the latest murder.
"Hey Bobby, I need true tempestari stones. You know where to get three?"
For a man who just committed a crime described as a bloody explosion Sam sounds remarkably cheerful. It's creepy.
"Why do you need tempestarii stones? Sam, that isn't something you should play around with - you should know that."
"It's for the spell. I can't do it unless I have those stones. You know that, you helped me find the thing. Bobby, I've done everything else."
Sam's voice goes hoarse and Bobby can just see Sam frowning just like he did at eleven when John explained sometimes things had to be done: a werewolf has to die Sam; you don't rehabilitate them like sick animals.
"That isn't the one I gave you, it was clean. Pure as you can get with that sort of thing. I shouldn't have given you that much. Jesus Sam, do you really think this is what Dean would want? You tainting yourself like this?"
Sam makes a hissing noise, "It doesn't matter. I'm doing this. Are you helping?"
Sam makes an impatient noise when he doesn't reply instantly. "You know I can do this without you Bobby, it'll just take longer."
"Sam think about what you're doing. What would Dean think?"
It's a low blow but he's sure that Sam still has enough little brother left that he likes Dean's approval. Bobby is surprised when Sam growls, honest to God growls, at him.
His voice has gone hard and cold, "If you don't help me and I can't get this done before Dean's time is up you'll regret it. I'll hold you personably responsible for killing Dean. For every day you could have helped and didn't I'll extract a pound of flesh until you're begging me to end the pain. You don't want that, do you Bobby? So where do I get those stones?"
Bobby can't believe that the hard voice on the phone is sensitive Sam Winchester. He's had enough experience to tell a bluff and his gut says that Sam isn't bluffing. He can feel his skin crawling at the knowledge that Sam really would torture him if his refusal ends up killing Dean because Sam hasn't had his help. He knows that Dean would never condone Sam murdering and playing in black magic but obviously Sam has made his peace with it and he's saving Dean even though Dean would never want to be saved by Sam loosing his morality, letting his kindness to be replaced by threats.
"Well Bobby?" Sam's voice isn't even vaguely friendly anymore.
"I'll look."
He gets a callback from an old supply contact four days later. Tom likes to gossip and he has news of the Winchesters even if he doesn't know where to get tempestarii stones.
"They come into the Catfish and I know it's them 'cause there aren't many boys driving a '67 Impala 'round and 'sides that Sam is one tall sonnabitch. So everything's fine and I'm thinkin' that I should go talk to 'em when this guy starts gettin' into with Dean. Thinks he was cheatin' or somethin'. Now Dean, I can tell he's ready to back down, just get out the there but the guy he's pushin' an' pushin' then the stupid bastard takes a swing at Dean. Now that boy, anybody with eyes can see he's ten kinds a dangerous but this guy's pretty pissed and he's been in the tequila. So Dean just dodges and the guy he pulls a knife. Stupid fucker. Then out of fuckin' nowhere there's Sam. Christ, I don't think he was even next to 'em. So Sam goes apeshit on this guy, full out beating. Poor bastard's in the hospital, they aren't sure he's ever going to walk again. That boy's scary Bobby. I tell you I thought he'd kill the guy before his brother pulled him off and they split."
"Sam's been havin' a rough time."
Tom snorts, "Right. I tell you now Bobby those stones ain't somethin' you wanna be messin' with. Everybody says they're bad shit. You be careful now."
Two months and two weeks and they still can't find any stones. Sam's voice is always tight and cold when he phones and Bobby is really starting to think that it's hopeless. Sam is furious when he says that the stones don't seem to be available.
"I don't fucking care if I have to steal them Bobby but I'm getting those stones. Now who the hell has them?"
"I don't know."
"You remember what I said to you Bobby? I'll peel the fucking flesh from your bones if you're trying to fuck this up for me."
Sam's voice is soft and crooning by the end and it makes the hair on the back of his neck stand up. He starts checking out of country trying all his European contacts. They know what he's talking about - the tempestarii were so much more active over there – but those stones are being destroyed when one shows up. They don't want that shit floating around their country anymore than he would want it in the States. It's Aaron who tells him to try medieval scholars.
"The idiots won't know what they have anyway. Some of 'em just collect fucked up shit. You might get lucky. I picked up a nice bane blade from one." He laughs and Bobby hears him take a quick drag on a cigarette.
"Scholars hmm…"
"Yeah, stupid fucker thought it was ceremonial coronation sword."
"A bane blade? You're not serious."
"Deadly fuckin' serious. Got a nice fuckin' price for it too. Good luck with your stones."
He finds a medievalist in Montana with a private collection of tempestarii stones. After Sam's last call it's a relief because he's come to the conclusion that Dean's death would push Sam into a full on vengeful sociopath. Sam thanks him so warmly for the news it's unnerving. He can still remember Sam crooning about torturing him and now his voice is so hopefully and relieved, Bobby is hard pressed to believe that croon came from the same man. Two days later there's an article in one of the Montana papers on a burglary gone wrong. The owner, a retired scholar, apparently surprised a burglar who killed him. His valuable collection of artifacts was stolen and his children are asking for their return on a no questions asked basis. The police are saying random act of violence but Bobby knows better. He can see Sam's handiwork in that – especially given who the victim is. He told Sam where to go but he didn't think Sam would kill the guy. He said he'd steal the stones just that, only theft not murder. Something must have gone wrong. It has to have gone wrong; otherwise Sam wouldn't have done it not for no reason. That isn't Sam. In all the time he's known Sam the boy has never done something for no reason. There's no reason to think otherwise now just because there is a dead man involved. But what if he did it for fun? Not Sam. He wouldn't do that.
"Bobby, Sam's gone. Have you heard from him?" Dean sounds wrecked. He wasn't even this bad when the demon stole Sam for his death match in Cold Oaks.
"No. When did you last see him?"
What if the spell has killed Sam? He's going to need to be there for Dean. He's only got another couple months and if Sam's dead; Bobby doesn't think he'll be able to do anything but hold Dean together until the deal's up, maybe not even that if Dean suicides.
"He fucking drugged me Bobby I know it."
"Sam drugged you?"
Dean's voice is thick, "Yeah. He . . . there's protection runes all over and all his stuff is here but he's gone."
"Just hang on alright. He's probably just out for a while. Just wait there for him to get back alright?"
"Bobby he could be in trouble."
"He… oh fuck, look just wait there for a couple days. He should be fine."
"What do you know?"
"I can't tell you."
"Bobby I have to know. Sam could be hurt. Just fucking tell me already."
"It's not something you can do anything about."
He hangs up as Dean starts to beg.
Dean phones him two days later and leaves a message. "He's back."
After that neither one of them will answer his calls no matter what time he tries. Shirley, an ex-hunter who runs a bed and breakfast in Rhode Island, calls him to ask about non-specific cleansing rituals. She has news about the boys.
"They cleaned out the local haunted house, stayed with me." He hears the snap of her gum and winces. He's never liked gum, especially not after cutting great gobs of it out of eight year old Sam's hair that one time.
"How'd they look?"
"Good, but Sam's missing a finger. He's high strung hey? Broke Adam's jaw one night when the idiot tried to start a fight with his brother. Marty said he'd never seen a guy look that pissed off before, thought he was going to keep on hitting him after the jaw but Dean pulled him off. He's a nice level headed kid that Dean."
"Yeah." His voice sounds hoarse even to his own ears.
Shirley hums and there's another snap of gum. "You know the weird part, they took my only king. I thought they're brothers."
What the hell does he say to that? "Huh… they're close like that alright."
That's a nice neutral safe answer. He hears chimes in the background and then Shirley is hanging up to help a guest.
Sam leaves him a message two days after the deadline. It's only two words: he's fine. Dean calls him a week later to tell him that they're coming down so he should set out the fancy plates. He laughs. It's good to hear Dean sounding relaxed and happy. He hears the Impala's rumble befor he sees it. It's déjà vu to see Dean's arm draped over Sam's shoulders and Sam happily tucked up against Dean's side. Only this time there's a hickey peaking out from under Dean's collar. He can't help remembering Shirley's puzzlement over their bedding arrangements. Was she right? He watches the lingering touch as Dean slides his arm from Sam's shoulders. It's not too lingering to be considered brotherly, especially not given how close those two are. Dean grins at him and Sam stands a timid half step behind his brother. He looks a little nervous and his smile is tentative but there. He looks just like he did a year ago.
Sam's missing finger isn't obvious and they both look content. Bobby was so afraid they'd show up worn thin and desperate after having to hear their voices over the phone for the past year but they haven't and he's grateful. Sam still looks as gentle and sweet as he did a year earlier. If he didn't know, Bobby would never say Sam could kill a human in cold blood, would never say that Sam has been playing in dark magic. Dean heads into the house with their bag but Sam says back, pulling a hand on his shoulder to stop him.
"Bobby… look I said some stuff that I'm not proud of and I want to say I'm sorry alright. I shouldn't have done that, but it was Dean."
Sam looks so earnest that he can help but smile even though Sam is trying to apologize for threatening to torture him.
"He's your brother. Just don't do it again alright?"
Sam smiles "Not unless he does it again."
There's ice in his veins. "You'd do it all again?"
Sam doesn't even hesitate. "Yes. All that and more if it saved him."
That night they have beer and Dean cooks. It is a surprise to find out that Dean hasn't lost his touch after all the years. The last time he can remember Dean cooking was when John had dropped in for a week to recuperate from a banshee. They're both relaxed and joking. Bobby hasn't seen them this relaxed in a long time. It's nice. He watches Sam covertly, looking for signs of what he's done but Sam seems to be fine with everything. He's lost the bitter anger that's been haunting him since Dean brought him back into the hunt. Bobby slips a little holy water into the beer just to be safe and it's a relief when neither boy notices it. They're are telling dirty jokes, trying to one up each other, and it's the first time he hasn't been thinking about hunting. Sam is leaning against Dean, beer bottle dangling from his fingers and happy grin on his face as Dean launches into a complicated joke about hookers, priests, and pandas. Watching the brothers tucked up against each other he's again reminded of the single bed waiting for them even though it's the same bed they always use. Sam is wheezing as Dean is gesturing to illustrate his point about the panda.
Late at night he can hear their moans over the soft creak of the bed frame and he knows without a doubt that they're fucking. Sam and Dean are fucking. He listens to their voices in the dark – he may be getting old but his ears are still sharp not that they seem to think so – Dean's low rumble and Sam's answer murmur. They sound soft and happy. He remembers Ellen and Bill and that same tone when they were together. That tone is love and somehow it makes him feel better even thought it is Sam and Dean instead of a normal couple in that bed. Somewhere between thinking they sound like love and wondering how they started fucking he falls asleep.
In the morning Dean is making eggs and bacon and Sam is carefully making another pot of coffee. Dean pulls Sam in for a quick kiss before he flips the bacon. It's Sam who sees him first and he just stares at him; daring him to say anything about it. Dean's body is relaxed and Sam has stepped just a little in front of him, protecting him as he has protected Sam all these years. He nods to Sam.
"Coffee ready?"
Sam smiles and passes him a cup. For now everything is perfect.