(A/N) One day, I wondered 'What would happen if Ed's automail malfunctioned?'. This is the result. Just a short, random, crack ficcy. This is my first FMA fic, so I hope to get a lot of reviews. REVIEW DAMMIT!!! -Ahem-
Enjoy!!! ;)
Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist... yet... -que maniacal laughter-
Ed was just sitting, enjoying his food, when he felt a twitch in his automail. All of his joints tightened in his metal arm, without him doing anything.
"What the hell?"
And then he was punched.
By his own arm.
"Brother!" Al cried, seeing Ed fall from his chair.
Ed couldn't do anything as he was being attacked by his automail. It punched him again and again. Bruises began to surface on his face. He tried to stand up, but his automail foot stepped on his real one.
Now, not only was he being assaulted by his arm, but his leg, too.
"Hey, what's wrong with him?" Mustang asked, looking down at Ed.
"I believe he is punching himself, sir," Hawkeye answered.
"I am… not… punching… myself!" he yelled in between assaults.
"What should we do?!" Al asked, running around in circles.
"Sit back and enjoy," Mustang said, sitting in a chair.
"Damn… you…!" Ed yelled.
He was currently rolling on the ground. Now his arm was punching him in the stomach.
"I will use the technique passed down in the Armstrong family to help out poor Edward Elric from his masochism!!"
Major Armstrong has just appeared out of nowhere. Pink sparkles were around him, and his shirt had come off during his speech.
He took a hold on Ed's arm, trying to pull it away from his stomach. But then his arm turned on Armstrong.
Now Armstrong was being beat up by Ed's arm.
"Holy crap! Get a picture! Ed is kicking Major Armstrong's ass!"
Cain and Feury were standing over the fight with cameras, snapping pictures.
"Stop taking pictures!" Ed yelled.
"The… Armstrong… legacy… is… destroyed!!" the major cried as he was being wacked by the metal arm.
"I'm going to get Winry," Al said, running out the door.
He came back only seconds later with the Tool Queen.
"I guess Ed got tired of hearing the major's Armstrong family crap," she said, seeing Ed punching Armstrong.
"It's not that! It's your damn automail!" Ed yelled, still assaulting the major.
"That's impossible! My automail is perfect," Winry said, not believing her machines could ever malfunction.
"Do something, god dammit!"
"I can't do anything!! I don't know what's wrong!!!"
"HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW WHAT'S WRONG???" Ed screamed. "I'M BEATING UP MAJOR ARMSTRONG!! CAN'T YOU SEE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT?!!"
Winry was now getting tired of Ed.
"I have an idea!" she said, a light bulb appearing above her head.
She took her wrench, and hit Ed on the head.
"All better!"
"Well, that was fun while it lasted," Mustang said, disappointed that the show ended so soon.
Cain and Feury went to go get their film developed. Armstrong and Ed were left on the ground. Al was trying to wake his brother up.
"Did I miss it?"
Envy appeared in the doorway.
He looked at Ed's body on the ground and pouted.
"But I wanted to see it!!"
Envy then broke down crying.
Yeah, the Full Metal Alchemist characters have some issues.
(A/N) Don't you just love the crack? R&R!!