HI! so in my defense I wrote this in my math and food science classes, both of which I hate, so this is out of pure boredom. But I'm actually proud of it so enjoy!

Kadaj POV

I had to get into Rufus Shinra. Getting past the turks would be easy. Theres only two of them, plus neither is the brightest, or strongest for that matter. This would be easy.

The Healin Lodge was so unguarded that it made me laugh. Either Rufus was that confident in his idiot turks or he was just as stupid. They had even left the door unlocked for me. I probably expected it to be a trap, but I was to pumped up about finding Mother finally.

I stepped into the small front room quietly. No one was around, so I guessed they were with the President Shinra. If not this would be even easier.

I wandered around till I found an unlocked door, conveniently labeled Rufus Shinra. Smiling, I drew Souba and opened the door.

A man covered in a blanket was sitting in a wheelchair in front of a window. I stepped in quickly, seeing no one else in the room. As soon as I stepped in I got a painful shock to my side, sending me to one knee. I clutched my side and looked up at the idiotic read headed turk. He was smirking, holding an EMR.

Growling, I pushed myself up slowly, only to get shocked again. "Reno. Enough." I looked up to see the man in the wheelchair moving towards us. I knew his voice anywhere.

"Boss man. This kid was going after you." The red headed idiot spoke, though he should learn to never speak.

"And he stopped after the first shock. You don't have to attack him again." He looked down at me, though I still couldn't see his face. "You're Kadaj correct?" of course he knew. I could play stupid too.

"And you're Rufus Shinra."

"Call me Rufus." He turned back to Reno. "You can leave us Reno. I'm in no danger."

"But sir…"

"Reno, I'm safe. You're dismissed."

Reno looked like he was going to argue but thought better of it, stepping out quickly.

Gripping my side, I pushed myself back up. "What security you have. That read head is insane."

"Reno takes his job a bit to seriously sometimes. I will admit that he's an idiot though. I apologize for him."

"I can honestly say I wasn't expecting that." I stood, making myself look like I was fine. It hurt like hell.

"He was worried you would kill me."

"That was never my intention." Not unless he argued with me too much, if I could even do it.

"What is your intention then Kadaj?" he seemed almost bored; it pissed me off.

"You know what I want. Where's Mother?"

"Why are you so interested in Jenova?"

"The reunion is coming, and we need her."

"If I asked you why, would you answer?"

"Yes. We need her so he can come back."

"He? You mean…"

"Sephiroth. Big brother is coming back. I bet you'll like that." I sneered at him, enjoying my special knowledge, yet hating it at the same time.

Rufus was quiet, and I wondered what his expression looked like. "Why should I be glad at the return of a nightmare." I could tell he was trying to keep his voice even.

"Did you think I didn't know? I have full access to Sephiroths memories. You were a kinky couple weren't you." My mind was stuck between laughing and crying.

"That's none of your business. And he's no longer the same man I knew."

"Oh he is. He's just smarter, stronger, and more intense. He wants to come back right now and see you. He misses you Rufus."

"He became a monster, and monsters don't miss people."

"Harsh. It doesn't matter though. He'll come back anyways, then he'll come to you. He'll take you back."

"Kadaj, you seem so determined, but think. If Sephiroth returns, what will happen to you?"

That took away the smile I had been putting up. What would happen to me?

You'll join me Kadaj. We'll sail the cosmos together, as one.

His voice echoed through my head I jumped slightly. Sephiroth hadn't spoken to me in a long time. If he was talking then I was going to find out. We'll join, both of us awake?

I heard Sephiroth laugh, but I didn't get anything else.

When I looked back at Rufus, he was giving me an odd look, the blanket having been either shaken or pushed off his head at some point when I was trying to talk to Sephiroth. "Are you alright Kadaj?"

I glared at him. It's not like he cared honestly. "Of course I'm alright. Why wouldn't I be?"

Rufus just laughed. I growled back at him. "Enough of this. Where's Mother?"

"It fell from the helicopter while we were running from you. I'm afraid we were careless."

"Really? I don't believe you. I can feel her here. Somewhere. Now where is she?" I walked towards him, my hand gripping Souba.

Rufus didn't move as I advanced on him. "Go ahead and look. You wont find it here." He sounded so smug.

I held back a laugh and continued towards him. "Then tell me. Why do I feel her more and more the closer I come to you."

Rufus stayed quiet, but I saw him slowly move his hands to his lap. I smirked. So that was where he was hiding her. What a stupid thing to do, to keep her with him.

I felt a thrill as I stopped in front of him. "You sure you don't have Mother? It would be easier to admit that you do and give her to me. I might even let you live if you do."

Rufus didn't speak, didn't move. If he wasn't even going to fight back then this might be entertaining.

I reached forward, grabbing ahold of the blanket. Rufus's hand shot out, grabbing my wrist. Pulling back, I tried to pull away, but he was stronger than I had expected, and faster. He jerked his arm, yanking me towards him. In my surprise, I fell against him.

Annoyed, I grabbed the blanked, jerking it away. Rufus was smiling at me, softly. It was kind of creepy, yet warming. It was a lot like the look he used to give Sephiroth, and that unsettled me. Chances were that he thought I looked like Sephiroth. If that was why, then I was actually afraid. "Kadaj. Don't give up your life for someone who cares only for himself. It's not worth it. Trust me."

"Why should I trust you?"

"Kadaj, I'm just trying to help. You're a good person, just misled is all. I can help you, if you'll let me." Rufus reached up with his free hand, placingit on the back of my neck.

"Rufus, you're full of shit. If you gave a shit you would have come looking when me and my brothers went missing."

"I did look for you. You were my best friend, of course I looked. I searched all through the complex and all over Midgar."

"I was in Shinra Manor Rufus. Did you bother to look there?"

"I…I', sorry Kadaj. If I had known….."

"No, that's not the worst part. The worst when Hojo would tell me the things you had done. He knew we were friends, and he wanted me to suffer."

"Kadaj….."

"Then I heard from the lab assistants about you and Sephiroth. About you two being caught together. Do you have any idea how much that hurt? You promised that we'd both wait for someone important, someone we loved." Not that I could talk.

"I did love him Kadaj. I was so far in love with him that I would have done anything for him. He was going to help me. He knew where you were, but he wouldn't tell me. That's when he lost his mind, when he went to get you."

I knew it was true, that Sephiroth never told Rufus where I was. That Sephiroth lost his mind at the manor. Still…. "You could have followed him. Found out where I was that way."

"I trusted him to save you. I was so sure he would. If I had known.,,,,"

"You want the absolute worst part of it all? The whole time I had the stupid hope that you come and save me."

"I'm so sorry Kadaj. I'm so sorry." Rufus looked away from me.

I felt bad. Rufus really couldn't have done much, and its not like he ever knew. "Rufus look, I'm sorry. I know it wasn't your fault you couldn't have done much."

"I could have done more than what I did. You suffered for years."

"Rufus you can't blame yourself. You lived your life through, that's all you did." What the hell was I saying? I was supposed to be making him feel bad. Why was I trying to comfort him all of a sudden?

"Kadaj…"

"Forget it Rufus. It doesn't matter. That's all past. What matters now is that I find Mother."

"Kadaj, I can't let you do this. I lost you once, I wont lose you again."

"Rufus I don't have a lot of choice. Loz and Yazoo are on Sephiroths side, I have to do this."

"No. we could destroy Jenova. That would stop everything."

"Destroy Mother? I can't do that Rufus."

"But I can Kadaj. Please. I want to help you."

"You can't." I tried to pull away from him again. I wasn't even using my full strength. I guess I really didn't want to go.

Rufus held me there, still holding my wrist, his other hand still on the back of my neck. "Rufus let me go. I need to go back."

"Don't go. Please…Daj."

I looked away at his old nickname for me. "Rufus I have to. You don't know how much my brothers have changed. They get mad if I don't listen."

"Then don't go back. Stay here with me. Please. Don't leave."

"Rufus…why do you care so much? We're old friends, yet you're acting like we were more. Is it because I remind you of Sephiroth?"

"No. Sephiroth reminded me of you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" my mind was racing with hopes that would most likely be destroyed.

Rufus smiled lightly. "What does it sound like?" he leaned in closer; I could feel his breathe on my face.

I gulped nervously. I hadn't been scared to do anything in a long time, but taking a chance here was scaring me. This was probably my only chance, but it was dangerous. If he rejected me…..i don't know how I would react. "Rufus…I…."

"It's ok Daj. You don't have to say it. You can show it." Rufus let go of my wrist, sliding his arm around my waist.

Slowly, I slid my arms up around his neck. "Rufus, stop me if im wrong." I leanedin slowly.

Rufus didn't stop me as our lips connected gently. I slid my hand into Rufus' hair, tangling it in the soft blond threads.

I felt Rufus do the same to me, and I melted. Daydreams like this had kept me going when I was in the labs.

I figured it couldn't hurt to move things a bit further. Slowly, I pulled out of the kiss, trailing my lips down his jaw to his neck. Rufus gasped, his hand tightening in my hair. Inside, I smiled. He neck had always been sensitive, and that fact hadn't changed.

I felt Rufus slid his other hand down, slipping it under the back of my shirt. His hand ran over my back, his nails scratching lightly.

I jumped, feeling things were going a bit too far, but not wanting to stop at the same time. Rufus didn't notice my jump and continued to attack my back.

I moved around, attacking different parts of his neck, leaving behind marks that he most likely wouldn't be able to hide.

Pulling back, I smiled. "I want to see all of you." Gently, I reached up to remove the bandage on his head.

Rufus grabbed my hand. "No Daj. Leave it be. It's hideous."

"I don't care. I want to see."

Rufus let go and I removed the bandage. He looked perfect. "You look fine Rufus. There's nothing wrong with your head."

He smiled at me. "I guess it's good then." Rufus leaned in and kisses me again.

I kissed back, resting my hands on his shoulders. Rufus let go of my neck his hand in between us, sliding down to rest on top of me.

I jumped, looking at him. Rufus smiled and rubbed gently. Biting my lip, I grabbed his hand. "Rufus wait. I'm not sure….."

"Just relax Daj. I wont hurt you I promise." Rufus smiled warmly.

"I know but Rufus….." I squeezed Rufus' hand gently. "I'm not sure…..I'm ready for this…" not with him….

"It's alright Daj. I wont force you to go all the way."

"I'm not sure I'm ready for hardly any of this. I haven't…"

"Done anything. I understand that it's kinda scary the first time."

"No Rufus, its not my first time. Not even close." I looked down at our hands. "I….." I felt so dirty all of a sudden, just at the thought.

Rufus tipped my head back up. "Kadaj? What happened?"

"I can't….i don't want to talk about it." I shifted my eyes away at the memories.

"Daj please look at me. I'm here. You can tell me. It will help."

I looked at him. "Rufus I'd rather push it away. It hurts to remember. When I remember…..I can almost feel it happening."

Rufus leaned in and kissed me lightly. "it's ok Daj. It's in the past. No one is going to hurt you now. I won't let them."

I leaned my head down, resting it on his shoulder. "The first time, was before I came to Midgar. I told you I used to live in Kalm, but I don't think I told you why I had to leave."

"You just said family problems." Rufus rubbed my back gently.

"Problems with my step father. He was the first, my first. That's why we left."

"I'm guessing there's more."

I nodded. "Everything was ok till the labs. Then…"

"Shhh. Just take a breath. Continue when you're ready."

I took a few deep breathes before continuing, "everyone under a certain age had it happen every week. Hojo and Hollander took turns, sometimes they went together. The worst was right before we escaped. They made me and….." I clamped my eyes shut, clutching at Rufus.

"Shh. Just breathe Daj. It's ok. It's past."

"They brought Yazoo to my cell one day. I hadn't seen him for months, years actually. They knew id be happy to see him. I ran up and hugged him. Yazoo knew something was up though. He was right. They made us…and then they started to….and then…"

I couldn't continue. It was just too much. Rufus was rubbing my back to calm me down. I wasn't crying though. I hadn't cried since that day. I was sure that I couldn't cry anymore.

"Daj I'm sorry. Our promise, something you knew you couldn't keep, you made it anyways."

"Because in my mind it doesn't count unless it's willing."

"So by your way you're still a virgin." Rufus smiled lightly.

I shook my head. "Not fully."

"What do you mean Daj?"

"After that day, we escaped. But my body was used to the abuse. Without it…..never mind. You don't need to hear that part." I hid my face in his shoulder.

"Daj you can tell me. I wont think any different of you. I promise."

"No. I can't tell you. We promised that neither of us would ever tell."

"Daj? You and who?"

"…Yazoo." I couldn't look at him.

Rufus was quiet. He knew what I was saying. He had to be disgusted with me. It was best for me to just leave now.

Gently, I pulled away from Rufus, not looking at him. "I should go. My brothers will be wondering where I am."

Rufus grabbed my hand. "Don't go. You said you wouldn't."

I looked at him in shock. "You…..still want me here? With you?"

"Of course. I told you. I wont think of you any different. You're still Kadaj. My first real love. My only real love."

I felt myself turn red. "Rufus. But what about Sephiroth?"

"I thought I loved him. But something I've realized is that it was you all along that I loved."

I smiled. "I knew it was you all along. I knew it was you that I felt for Daj. I just didn't know it was love until I lost you."

Rufus pulled me back to him, hugging me tightly. "The fact that it took us this long to figure it out is almost horrifying."
"Then let's fix it now." I leaned in and kissed him.

Rufus kissed back, sliding a hand up to my neck, tangling it in my hair. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling myself tight against him.

Our makeout session ended with my phone blaring. I pulled away, groaning. Rufus laughed. "Go ahead. Answer it."

I sighed and pulled it out. It was Yazoo. "Hello Zoo."

"Daj, where are you? Have you found Mother?"

I smiled at Rufus. "No, Rufus lost Mother, and I'm honestly glad. I'm not going to give my life up for Sephiroth. I'm done Yazoo. I'm staying with Rufus."

Yazoo laughed on the other end. "Bout damn time. You two have fun. We'll join you later."

I turned red and hung up. Life was going to get interesting.