A/N: This took me a while to write. Oh god. Anyway, I don't know what this is but it was really fun to write and I hope you guys enjoy and REVIEW! It would mean so much to me. :)

Also, at first I was going to write this with Becca, who is goldsworthys on here, but I was writing it and sending her parts so she can write her parts and she quit lol. But it's okay dfkjbnlkdfg. She helped me with this anyway, so I'd say she's my BETA~

Also, I rated this M because I'm paranoid like that.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Degrassi.

Clare woke up with a start to find a weight pinning her down. Her body stiffed, and she smelt the air around her cautiously. Crunching up her face, she suppressed a gag at the scent around her. She felt sweat dripping from her forehead and she realized then how sticky the air around her was – it was humid and warm. Too uncomfortable, she thought.

Something was tickling her neck – something sticky and way too soft; it felt like cotton. She was about to scratch her neck when the weight across her body made her unable to do so.

That, and she stopped moving; frightened about the situation she was in. She knew she wasn't there alone.

Her eyes scanned the area around her. A dim light managed to light up the small room from the window behind her head. There was a small desk and a few books on top. She deducted finally that she was in someone's dorm – but why? Her brows furrowed and she shifted her body. She was on top of a bed, of course, but one of her legs was dangling from the end of the bed. The very small bed.

She could hear soft sounds next to her. Two people, perhaps, sleeping. She knew one of them must be under her armpit, because there was a draft of air there. She flushed embarrassed, realizing that she would move away if she could but the weight on top of her chest was still pinning her down.

Wait.

Arm on chest.

Bed.

Naked.

She quickly sprang up to sit down and she finally realized the situation she was in. "Ah!"

Adam slowly opened his eyes and blinked up at her. "Uh… Clare? What up?"

Adam. Her close friend Adam. The one who was transgendered – Adam. The one she thought of as anything but in a romantic way. Adam the silly, dorky boy who would always cheer her up. The one that would make her worry and act like a mother.

Adam, the one sprawled on top of her.

Naked.

His arm was just on her chest – her bare chest!

Not only that, but he could smell her odors.

"Oh my God!"

SLAP!

"Ow! What was that for?"

Her face a crimson red, she tried to sit back up on the bed as far as she could. Why were th –

Why did it hurt so much to move?

"What in the world is going on, Adam?" She screeched loudly, trying to hide her face with her bangs.

And then she felt it. The other person moving to cover his face with the pillow. And then she heard him groan irritated. "Will you two shut the fuck up?"

She cringed at the language.

Adam reached over to pet his head playfully. "Sorry, Eli."

She froze. Her head turned slowly to look down.

Oh my god.

Eli Goldsworthy – the guy she's had a crush on since high school – was naked next to her. He was curled up on his side turned away from them. His back was pressed against her hip. The hair tickling her neck was his. Oh. She blushed, realization finally hitting her. She had many childish fantasies about being so close to him as she was at the moment, but not like this.

What a let down, she thought sadly.

Wait. Why was she thinking about Eli and his soft hair and her fantasies when she should be trying to figure out why she was in bed with Eli and Adam? Oh, of course, she had always wanted to share the same bed with Eli. But not Adam, the clumsy… honk – wait. What the hell was she thinking about?

He's getting more muscle? And he has a pretty body and eyes and –

That was Adam, not eye candy.

Her hormones disagreed, though. She felt her face become redder and redder, making her look sick with a fever. She was lusting over someone who was like a brother to her and who would sometimes embarrass her in front of Eli and all other boys.

"Why not stop hanging around him?" Alli, her best friend, asked her one day the first year in College. Clare knew exactly why she didn't stop hanging around Adam. He was Adam – she loved him, of course. But she never would have imagined that she'd be in a situation like this –

Oh God. Adam's buttocks looked like he was training to make it muscular. Wait – is that a bite mark?

Clare went pale then. She just knew that that was her jaw. Eli had too big of a mouth for it to be his - Eli. She was in bed with the man of her dreams and she was thinking about Adam's – well-trained – body?

Why was she in bed with her best guy friends in the first place?

And with her vagina hurting like it was going to fall off –

She flushed, trying to cover her face. It was a blur but she remembered giving that bite to Adam.

"Hey, Clare…" Adam whined as he sat up, a hand covering his red cheek.

Clare noticed then that he'd been practicing trying to make his voice sound deeper – more manly. And although it sounded less feminine and whiny, it still bothered her.

"What?" She snapped, because even though he sounded less whiny he was still doing it and… Oh. Her eyes grew wide and she hid her chest with her arms and brought her legs up to her chest to obstruct the view to her most intimate area. Even so, her thoughts wondered off to the embarrassing realization that Adam had already seen her – all of her. Clare grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around her securely, covering herself. Adam only blinked at her, as if he just realized what he'd been staring at.

And then the bed was shifting next to Clare and then she remembered the third person again.

"Give me the blanket back!" Moaned Eli in his sleep, trying to peel Clare from her only safe haven.

Even if Eli was the man of her dreams, Clare was a lady and it was more of a priority for her to be dressed than they – and, oh, wow. But was Eli beautiful. Some of her friends would kill her if she told them that she had been on the same bed as Eli while naked. And her heart clenched inside her chest when she saw the scar he had on the side of his stomach for protecting Clare against Fitz, Eli's worst nightmare and enemy, but at the same time she had a feeling of happiness washing over her although it was something left over from a horrible night.

Adam was staring at Eli like he was staring at Clare moments ago. He was smirking at Eli. Still smirking until – was Adam blushing by looking at Eli?

Then he turned to Clare slowly and his blush went away slowly. He's still Adam, she thought. The one who likes girls. Maybe she was hallucinating now.

"Wake up, Lazyworth," Adam teased, pushing him off the bed and on to the floor. Eli groaned as his face landed on the wooden floor. On the other side of the bed, Adam started to laugh at his friend and Clare, although she didn't like what she did, hit Adam on the arm, giving him a warning look.

And then Clare winced and gulped as she saw Eli struggling and rubbing his butt and Clare was anything but naïve. Same reason as hers.

No. It couldn't be. What in the world happened? Why is Eli rubbing his –

And then she remembered the sex toy Adam had bought a few months ago to try on his ex-girlfriend, Fiona, and she sunk into her covers.

"What the hell…" Eli mumbled, and his gaze landed on Clare's for an instant and they both turned to look at Adam accusingly.

Clare choked on her words as she tried to speak up, "YOU – Adam – why are we here?" And then she realized the posters around the room and realized they were in Adam's dorm.

Adam winced. "Um, I'm not sure – what the hell Eli?"

If Eli's shoe missed, then for sure Clare's slap to the arm didn't.

"Okay! Stop! Stop! I surrender! Let me finish!"

Clare blushed as she realized that in her haze to hit Adam she had dropped the covers and exposed her chest. Eli was staring intently at her body and quickly turned away, his cheeks reddening. She wrapped herself tightly around the covers, mummifying herself, and then she resumed to glare at Adam.

"Well, um, I think we were out for a drink – right? And well – I guess I think what happened next… with the lack of clothes and all," He scrunched his face. "And the smell, but…"

"But?" Eli pushed out, his voice calm and silent. If you knew him, you'd know that you should give him what he wanted or take cover quickly.

"I don't… remember the details. It's all foggy. I… feel like I got laid – I mean I feel good. Good," Adam corrected himself quickly, giving Clare a look of embarrassment before staring down at the bed. "I just – I'm not sure."

"WHAT?" Clare screeched. They were in his dorm and he was the one that didn't seemed surprise for waking up to them both! How could he not know!

Adam cringed. "I remember a lot of emotions – and smells. And feelings. A few moments… But it's all disjointed." Clare glared, and he waved his hands defensively. "Just give me a moment! I'll know more when I can think about it and put it all back together!"

"You don't seem to be surprised that your memories are mixed up," Eli commented, glaring at him suspiciously. Clare blinked.

"Hey that's true!"

Maybe it was some type of drug, she suspected. She remembered roughly them going into a bar until she felt uncomfortable there and so they went back to campus and – hey! – Adam's dorm was the closest to them… And they wanted to hang – out some more and after that there were a lot of emotions and sensations and overwhelming desire, and not a trace of conscious, rational thought anywhere in sight. She remembers – although slightly – arguing with Adam – he was so irritating, she'd been thinking – even though she wasn't sure what Adam had done. Then it got more and more confusing. It was raw need and passion, and hands on her, and her nails raking up backs, and her fingers tangling soft hair as she was taken roughly, covered by heavy bodies.

Wild night.

Oh, Clare, shut up. Shut up, She thought. She wasn't exactly a total virgin – well, not anymore at least. She hadn't been a stranger to her body and to how it could react to touches. She knew that roses and candles was probably a bit too sweet for her first time, but a girl could dream, right? What she just didn't imagine was loosing her virginity in a threesome.

Adam seemed to be nervous as he fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, wanting to stand up and pace around, but Eli glared him back on the bed.

"Talk."

"It just… happens sometimes."

"The confusing memories?"

Adam nodded, sobering up. "Ugh. It has happened to me in class and sometimes when I'm practicing fighting with Drew. I… I sort of loose it sometimes."

Well, what did you know? Adam looked more handsome when he was serious.

"Have you ever thought on informing someone? What if it's something bad – like a concussion or… or something worse?" Clare raged.

Adam turned pale, his eyes saddening.

"I haven't – but! But, I know it's nothing bad, Clare. Seriously, it isn't."

She couldn't find words to tell him how stupid and stubborn he was being at the moment. Wait, yes she could. "Not serious? What if it happens to you when you're practicing with Drew? You could be the one to get harmed."

She got startled when he snorted at her, as if what she said was stupid.

"I mean – Drew knows… and my dad, too," he added, cutting her off. "It's nothing that can be solved… really."

"I wonder what you're lying about," Eli jumped in quietly.

Adam gasped, offended. "I'm not lying!" He said defensively, his voice changing from soft to growly.

"But are you telling the truth?"

Eli's eyes were narrowed and cold. He was in one of his stubborn moods. But with Adam's fists and jaw clenched, Eli had the right to be in his respective state. Clare decided that there was a lot of question left unsaid and she wasn't going to stand sitting through a whole staring contest, which could last hours between them. She didn't really care much that Adam was hiding something - something important, she could feel it – to them both, but there were many more ways to get answers than to ask directly and slam into the brick wall that was Adam's stubbornness.

"Would you two just stop it already? What's important here is – why we – here…" She gestured at the bed and their naked bodies.

"I- I didn't force you!" Adam snarled, baring his teeth at her. His tone made her shrink back in her cocoon of covers. And it made her feel bad for knowing that he looked so… betrayed.

"I didn't say you did," Clare said quickly and softly. Both boys blinked at her. "The thing is that you are used to it – we're not. Is… what you have contagious?"

Adam scratched his head, muffling a laugh. "I don't… think it should be?"

Well, that ruled out drugs and illness. Those things were contagious. Adam might be out of it sometimes, but he wouldn't put their lives in danger. Maybe Eli's, but that's in a more friendly rivalry way, she guessed.

Now he looked guilty. "Anyway, it wasn't all my fault. You wouldn't have – either of you wouldn't," he added silently, giving them both a stricken look. "I knew I should have stopped – when you started kissing back – I knew that something wasn't right…"

Eli sighed and threw a pillow at his face. "You idiot, you were already out of it, weren't you? You couldn't have stopped, anyway."

Adam bit his lip harshly. "I should've though! I should've forced myself to stop – to think. If I'd realized that you didn't want to be there, I should've – should've stopped, believe me," the brunet added bitterly.

"You're assuming I didn't like it at all," Eli mocked. "And as usual the only ass it makes is you. Sure, if you had invited me, I would've said no by principle, but I admit I would've missed something," he added as he moved to get on his feet.

"I fucked you last night, Eli. You do remember that, don't you?" Adam snapped back, his tone harsh and bitter. Clare couldn't decipher whether or not he was mocking Eli or himself. She tensed up anyway, waiting for them to blow over.

Instead of responding, Eli put on his shirt to delay his response. "I remember. I didn't expect it to feel that good."

Well, Clare wouldn't deny that she was surprised to hear that.

He was just doing it to give him the upper hand over Adam, Clare realized soon after when Adam began to splutter.

"You – you l-liked – oh."

Eli looked embarrassed. He turned away and scowled, trying to get on with their conversation. "Only this once. I wasn't in my right state of mind, anyway. That's the only reason I allowed that. I'm not going to let anyone at my ass again – sex toy or not," Eli growled hotly at Adam.

"Good, because your ass is mine," Adam growled, quietly, but not quiet enough.

"What did you just say?" Eli asked in a low, dangerous voice.

Adam got up slowly, just as Eli did, but looking more dangerous. More predatory, Clare added in her head.

"I mean –"

Clare saw it – he hesitated. He's going to change his answer.

"I mean… nothing. I didn't say anything."

"God, that's lame even for you."

A second later, Adam pushed Eli against the wall, one hand on his collar and his other – Oh my dear merciful God – was grabbing Eli's privates.

"Your ass is mine," Adam growled, forceful – scary. Clare shivered at the threat lingering over the tone, and she closed her eyes, trying to make the scene in front of her go away when –

He kissed him.

Clare gaped at both boys, barely registering the fact that that just happened.

Eli tried to push him away but he couldn't. Adam plundered his mouth, biting and invading, and then he stepped back without warning, making Eli gasp at the sudden move.

"You know what? I'm not sorry I got to sleep with both of you. I enjoyed every second of it."

Adam stayed in the middle of the small room, proud and challenging, and gave her the same defiant, angry-yet-sad face he had given to Eli. "Now you can kill me if you think I forced you into it, Clare. That I raped you. I know I deserve it, but I'm not mad that it happened!"

He was beautiful, Clare realized at that moment, her eyes softening, and she felt sick to the stomach.

"…I'm angry with you, Adam," she admitted slowly. "Because if you were to ask me I would say I didn't remember anything. But once it began I… I felt great. Just like you said… but, if it were have been with consent… I just wish it had been – I want to know why you didn't try and ask first. Why it happened, and why you're telling us now that you have some… some weird condition and what you're thinking about, you and Eli, because – because I'm naïve, alright? I loved last night. And I shouldn't, but I just want to make sure that tomorrow I won't feel like I was used because I was convenient for two guys to get laid – because I was easy."

She realized then that she was sobbing, but she made no effort to stop.

"I thought I wanted to – with someone I – I… I'm not easy – I'm not."

Adam's face softened and he looked crestfallen. And although she has known Eli for many years, she couldn't decipher what he was feeling at the moment.

"God, Clare… You're not – you're not a whore!"

Adam began to panic now. He kneeled down on the floor next to her and reached towards her but then drew back again, not knowing what to do.

"You're not just convenient! You know I… I… always had a crush on you, you know…"

Adam's azure eyes were welling up with tears. Clare felt reassured at his confession, but what she really wanted was to hear those words from Eli. She wanted Eli's reassurance more than Adam's. Except that she feared that she wouldn't get it.

Eli didn't say anything. Clare let her head fall, making her curly locks cover her face.

"Eli!" she heard Adam hiss at him, but Clare reached out, touching his with her shaky one. It hurt that Eli could remember what Adam did to him but not about her.

It hurt a lot.

"Clare…"

Eli knelt on the bed and slowly put a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Don't be so stupid. I would never think that of you, Plath. If it weren't for whatever happened to us yesterday…"

How she hated that pained, pitying tone of his.

"Don't lie to me, please." Too late to stop now.

"I'm not… I wasn't," he replied.

Lie number one, she thought, but nodded nonetheless, because she knew all of that.

"Eli," Adam grumbled out, but he was quickly silence by Eli's hand.

"It wouldn't have happened with anyone else."

"We – we were together when it happened…" she replied silently.

Eli shook his head, trying to convince her. "It wouldn't have happened if it were with someone else. I would've pulled away in an instant. But with you two – I… fuck."

Adam and Clare both looked surprised and wary and somewhat in awe. Eli never talked about his emotions – since his last girlfriend died, at least. The black-haired boy looked down and then took in a deep breath, looking back up.

"I'm safe… I'm trusted, with both of you," he gave his half-smirk to them. "Well, maybe with Drew, too."

"Ew."

"If I were to loose control I would've pulled away in an instant. Hell, If I were with someone else I would've been drinking water the whole time." But it hadn't been so. So he stayed.

Maybe it wasn't a declaration of love, but it was enough. Right? Eli trusted in her as much as he trusted in Adam, and that's all she ever wanted to hear. Love was based off trust. There was still hope.

And Adam said he loved her. In a tender way.

"…So things are okay?" She asked.

Eli turned away and crossed his arms over his chest.

Adam grinned happily at her. "Of course."

Adam looked at Eli and Eli looked at Clare and Clare smiled at both of them.

"We're best friends, after all."