Title: Lost
Author: Darley1101
Rating: PG
Characters: Alex, Meredith, and mention of Izzie.
Premise: An announcement in the newspaper makes Alex think about all he's lost.
Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or the characters.
Author's note: This is ridiculously short, I know, but the thought came and it wouldn't leave. So here it is. A ridiculously short one shot when I should be working on the latest chapter of Wonderful. (I have block in the worse way!)
A tiny thin layer of sweat beaded along Alex Karev's upper lip as he stared down at the newspaper Meredith had thrust into his hands. For three years he had managed to avoid looking at the lifestyles section; always afraid he would see something with Izzie's name in it. He would have continued to do so if Meredith and her good intentions hadn't interfered. And of course there it was, one of his worse fears come to life.
"Alex." The faint whisper of his name barely registered. He knew Meredith was there. He knew she waiting to see how he reacted; to see how much damage control she would have to do.
"What?" Alex demanded, unable to take his eyes off the photograph that took up the lower left hand corner. He knew he should stop staring at Izzie's smiling face and read the little tidbit that went with the picture. Inhaling deeply he forced himself to scan the contents, his throat tightening. Dr. Isobel Stevens was proud to announce the birth of her son…He jerked his gaze away. If he didn't know the boy's name he wouldn't think about him. Wouldn't imagine what life would be like with him.
"Are you okay?"
He forced himself to shrug. "Why wouldn't I be okay?" It was idiotic of him to ask. She would point out the obvious. He could feel it in his bones. And if she asked he would have to answer; it was how their friendship worked.
"I…I don't know." The tip of her tongue darted out, a sure sign that she was trying to figure out the best way to handle the situation she had created. A visible lump worked its way up and down in her throat as she twisted her fingers into an uncomfortable looking knot. It was all Alex could do not to reach out and grab her hands, stilling the nervous motions. "Did she tell you? Did you know?"
No. He hadn't known. He hadn't wanted to know. That had been the agreement. Izzie could do whatever she wanted with the embryos so long as he didn't know. Deep down he had known she would use them rather than destroy or donate them. She was Izzie and she was born to be a mother. "I didn't know," he whispered, not really sure if he was answering Meredith or responding to his own unanswered question of why he had agreed to the terms in the divorce.
"What are you going to do?"
His eyes dropped back down to the announcement, hungrily taking in the image of Izzie cradling a little boy that his chin and her nose. He knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to find her, to tell her he had been an idiot for telling her to leave. He wanted to tell her that he loved her and had never, would never, stop loving her. He wanted to hold his son. What he wanted wasn't what he had agreed to though and he owed her the courtesy of staying out of their lives. "Nothing" he said dully, his heart breaking a little as he said the words. "I'm going to do nothing."