Iron Mask
By Astro Purple
AstroPurpl@aol.com
G
Timeline: During SS.
Summary: Why does Snape hate Harry so much? Lots of angst. R/R!
Author's Note: My first Harry Potter fanfic, so if you wanna flame, please flame lightly. ( I'm very fragile.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and world belongs to the wonderful mind of J.K. Rowling.
* * *
The moment he stepped into the Great Hall, I knew my life was going to change. How could it not, when the image of my archenemy was plastered onto the façade of an eleven-year-old? An eleven-year-old who should have been mine, but isn't. I want to dote over him, poor boy who has never known his mother; and at the same time I want to strangle him because he belongs to James, and because he took the life of the one person I loved most in the world.
Lily Evans, the shy muggle who sat next to me on the train ride to Hogwarts my first year. The innocent muggle who couldn't even begin to comprehend the history behind the house rivalries. The only muggle-born I couldn't bring myself to hate, and the one girl who has ever stolen my heart. A heart that she still keeps, even in death.
The first few years that Lily was gone, there was emptiness in my heart. The place where my heart should have been had wanted, wished, and begged for her to be returned, but all for vain. Most of my nights were spent tossing and turning, shifting between dreams and nightmares. One minute I would believe Lily to have returned to be with me, and the next to find out that she cared only for James and would never have me. Or she would be there to go to the library where we could talk for hours, and then she would suddenly disappear.
Now I accept. I accept that she is gone, but I refuse to accept the reason that she's gone. If Lily had never married James, she would still be alive. If Lily had never had that child, she would still be alive. If. I could go on. I could list a whole bunch of other realities. But I won't. And I know that no matter how much I might wish Harry Potter to have never been born, I can't. He is our savior, the one person who can save us from a demon, the demon.
Lily is dead because of him. He who struts around like he's a King, like he's God. He who thinks himself so innocent of blood, so innocent of lives, is actually a killer. Doesn't he know that the only reason he's alive and here is because his parents gave their lives for him? That his mother put all her love into her death? That one of the most extraordinary and beautiful woman in the world is now gone? Does he even realize the meaning of his life? The reason why he's living? How important he is to our world? That he is our savior, our only hope? No! He does not! He doesn't know that life isn't going to be handed to him on a gold platter! He doesn't know that there's going to be so much in life that he can't wish away! He doesn't know that one of these days he will face the demon again.
Now as I look upon his innocent face, unknowing of all his troubles ahead, I know which route I must travel. As much as I want to love the only part of Lily still alive in this world, I cannot. For Lily's son, I must prepare him. No matter how much he might end up hating me, how much Lily might end up hating me, I have to get him ready to face his greatest fear. I'm sorry Harry. Lily. I'm sorry.
By Astro Purple
AstroPurpl@aol.com
G
Timeline: During SS.
Summary: Why does Snape hate Harry so much? Lots of angst. R/R!
Author's Note: My first Harry Potter fanfic, so if you wanna flame, please flame lightly. ( I'm very fragile.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and world belongs to the wonderful mind of J.K. Rowling.
* * *
The moment he stepped into the Great Hall, I knew my life was going to change. How could it not, when the image of my archenemy was plastered onto the façade of an eleven-year-old? An eleven-year-old who should have been mine, but isn't. I want to dote over him, poor boy who has never known his mother; and at the same time I want to strangle him because he belongs to James, and because he took the life of the one person I loved most in the world.
Lily Evans, the shy muggle who sat next to me on the train ride to Hogwarts my first year. The innocent muggle who couldn't even begin to comprehend the history behind the house rivalries. The only muggle-born I couldn't bring myself to hate, and the one girl who has ever stolen my heart. A heart that she still keeps, even in death.
The first few years that Lily was gone, there was emptiness in my heart. The place where my heart should have been had wanted, wished, and begged for her to be returned, but all for vain. Most of my nights were spent tossing and turning, shifting between dreams and nightmares. One minute I would believe Lily to have returned to be with me, and the next to find out that she cared only for James and would never have me. Or she would be there to go to the library where we could talk for hours, and then she would suddenly disappear.
Now I accept. I accept that she is gone, but I refuse to accept the reason that she's gone. If Lily had never married James, she would still be alive. If Lily had never had that child, she would still be alive. If. I could go on. I could list a whole bunch of other realities. But I won't. And I know that no matter how much I might wish Harry Potter to have never been born, I can't. He is our savior, the one person who can save us from a demon, the demon.
Lily is dead because of him. He who struts around like he's a King, like he's God. He who thinks himself so innocent of blood, so innocent of lives, is actually a killer. Doesn't he know that the only reason he's alive and here is because his parents gave their lives for him? That his mother put all her love into her death? That one of the most extraordinary and beautiful woman in the world is now gone? Does he even realize the meaning of his life? The reason why he's living? How important he is to our world? That he is our savior, our only hope? No! He does not! He doesn't know that life isn't going to be handed to him on a gold platter! He doesn't know that there's going to be so much in life that he can't wish away! He doesn't know that one of these days he will face the demon again.
Now as I look upon his innocent face, unknowing of all his troubles ahead, I know which route I must travel. As much as I want to love the only part of Lily still alive in this world, I cannot. For Lily's son, I must prepare him. No matter how much he might end up hating me, how much Lily might end up hating me, I have to get him ready to face his greatest fear. I'm sorry Harry. Lily. I'm sorry.