A/N: I have no idea where this came from but it seemed amusing while I was writing it.
"GODDAMN YOU, KATY! HELLFIRE, WOMAN!"
Everybody in the immediate vicinity of the angry giant jumped, cowered, and then began backing away. When the temperamental Mark Calaway exploded, nobody was fool enough to be caught nearby.
The only one who didn't back away was a woman about a foot shorter than Mark, with light brown hair and piercing blue eyes. Those eyes were currently afire with her own anger, and a hint of amusement. "I warned you." She said icily, folding her arms over her chest.
Muttering vicious curses, Mark stood up from the barstool he had been perched on and reached down to grab the hem of his tee shirt. The tee shirt was soaked through, courtesy of a pitcher of beer she had been about to serve and then decided to pour over his head. "You cold-hearted bitch." He hissed, tugging the shirt over his head before wadding it up and hurling it at her.
Most women would have been distracted by the sight of his tanned, muscular chest and abdomen right there in their faces, but Katy wasn't impressed. She cocked an eyebrow, still staring up into his face; which she noted dispassionately, was beet red. When he leaned down, she became acutely aware that the only thing separating them was the bar counter and idly wondered how quick she could jump over it and run. She wasn't really afraid of him but even she knew better than to keep poking the figurative lion with the stick. Her presence being the stick and all.
As if sensing what she was considering, Mark rolled his eyes and leaned forward, grabbing her by the upper arms in a steel grip. Ignoring Katy's shrill demands that he let go, he instead hauled her over the counter, and closer to him.
The scent of beer was an aroma she was all too familiar with, what with being a bartender and all, but when he all but squished her face against his chest; the odor wafted right up her nostrils and caused her to gag. Beer, coupled with light sweat, and a hint of body wash was not a good combination by any means.
Wondering why nobody was helping her, Katy dimly realized that the bar had been vacated. No one had wanted to stick around for whatever was about to happen, though she was sure they would all be gossiping about it for the rest of the month.
"You owe me an apology." Mark's deep voice rumbled down at her.
"Can't… breathe…"
Snorting, he stepped away, but didn't relinquish his hold on her shoulders. He knew better. This wily woman would no doubt try to take his balls off for treating her so poorly. "Apologize."
"Like hell I will!" Katy protested, using the back of her hand to wipe droplets of beer off of her face. "You damn pig… Ugh…"
"Kathleen." He used her full, given name, knowing damn well it irritated her. "Apologize, or else."
Her lips flattened into a grim line, refusing. She felt she was perfectly justified in drenching his arrogant ass. She had been rounding the counter in order to get that pitcher filled for some customers when he had not only ordered her to 'get me another, sweetcheeks' but accompanied that with a slap –a damn slap- to her ass.
Katy did not appreciate being treated like that in her own bar, in front of her customers. It was degrading. He had done it before and she had warned him, next time he'd regret it. Damned if she hadn't meant it.
When Mark realized he wasn't getting anywhere, he let out a long sigh and stepped away from her. He moved quickly, not putting it past her to suddenly lash out with a foot for his most vital parts. "Fine, have it your way. I'll just go where I'm wanted."
She flinched, hearing the threat in his words. "I TOLD you not to be treatin' me like that in front of the damn customers! You deserved what you got!"
"Apologize, or I will go."
"Go, I don't care." She made an imperious gesture towards the door. "Go on then!"
Shrugging, he began walking towards the door and pushed it open, not caring that he was still without a shirt. "I'll let Jessica know you said hi." He called over his shoulder.
Katy was seeing red.
~!~
Steve Austin was leaning against his truck, talking with one of the boys who had evacuated the bar, when they both heard a curse, followed by what was a shrill war cry, and turned in time to see Mark Calaway go flying down the steps. He landed face down in the dirt, dust flying up around him.
"What the hell did you do to my sister, Calaway?" Steve demanded; trying to inject a note of anger in his tone but it was impossible. He was grinning like a Cheshire cat, knowing damn well it was his vicious sister who had sent the big man flying. When Mark just spat dirt out of his mouth, Steve crouched down so he was hunkering next to the other man. "Well?"
Mark groaned, gingerly feeling his nose. He wasn't surprised to find it bleeding, fairly certain he had crunched it against a rock or something.
"Oh come on, what'd you do to piss her off?"
"I'll tell you what he did."
Steve looked up to find Katy stomping down the wooden steps that led to her establishment. She was carrying what looked like a wet shirt in one hand, halting at the bottom step, and tossed it at Mark. "The sonbitch smacked my ass in front of my guests, AFTER I told him NOT to."
Steve winched, knowing how much she hated that. She said it made her seem more like some ditzy waitress opposed to the businesswoman she actually was.
"AFTER calling me 'sweetcheeks'."
As far as Steve was concerned, Mark was damn lucky he still had his bits and bobs. Everyone knew Kathleen did not go for pet names such as 'sweetcheeks', especially if the name was accompanied by a slap to her cheeks.
"THEN he tried to make me apologize."
Steve snorted. His sister was just like him, Austin temper and all, there would be no apologizing.
"And when I wouldn't, he said he was going to Jessica's!"
"Oh Mark, ya didn't, man?" Steve moaned, covering his face with his hands. He had to hide the fact that he was laughing. First and foremost, even though she sounded angry, Katy looked hurt when she had mentioned Jessica. Secondly, Mark had actually been STUPID enough to say that to Katy's face.
Mark grumbled, busy pulling himself up to his feet. "I mighta." He said defensively. "Sure as hell didn't give her the right to go shovin' me down the steps."
"Oh, oh, oh!" Katy was turning a really nasty shade of red, her blue eyes nothing but pure ice now. "You go on, go see that SLUT, THAT NASTY-"
Mothers within hearing distance had to clamp their hands over their children's little ears as Katy proceeded to bellow just what Jessica was, none of it very nice.
"And THEN, when you've gotten some STD, you can just keep the HELL AWAY FROM ME!"
Steve and Mark both winced when Katy stormed back inside the bar, slammed the door shut behind her, and heard the audible deadbolt being slid into place.
"You HAD to mention Jessica." Steve said flatly, knowing anyone who tried getting into that building would be greeted with the barrel of a shotgun in their face.
"At the time… it seemed like a good idea…"
"Well, let's go get your nose fixed up." Steve clapped a hand on Mark's bare back, and then grimaced, wiping his hand off on his jeans. "Why I ever stood by and let my sister marry your fool ass…"
Mark didn't bother replying, too busy trying to ebb the gushing blood from his nose. "Hellfire…"
Steve kept quiet as they walked down to the doc's, shaking his head every now and then. Though, when the doc's assistant looked up from the desk and smiled sweetly, Steve knew something was coming and braced himself.
"Well Mr. Calaway, I do believe the doctor can see you right away." Stephanie crooned, getting up from the desk in order to survey the damage to his nose. "Let me guess…"
"Steph…" Mark trailed off warningly.
She giggled, trying not to but it was so hard. "This is the second time this month your wife beat you up… Ain't there laws against that? Or do they not apply when you won't stop running your mouth to her?"
Mark was ready to leave, his nose be damned, when Steve chimed in with: "Yeah, but he'd be too damned ashamed to go file a report. Look at him, he's near seven foot and built like a brick wall, gettin' his ass handed to him by my scrawny ass little sister!"
"Hellfire!"