Haley kissed her little boy on the head before passing him to Peyton. "Bye sweetie." She waved her hand at her one and a half year old son.
"Say bye mommy." Peyton took the little boy's hand and waved it at Haley. "So when do you think you'll be back?" Peyton asked. Haley tensed up; she had been hoping to avoid this question.
"To tell you the truth Peyton, I really don't know." And she wasn't lying.
"Well it's ok. You know I love this little boy." Peyton tickled James's stomach. He giggled with delight. In that moment he was happier than Haley had ever made him. "Just call when you're on your way to pick him up" Haley nodded with a false smile, waved once more, and then walked to her car. She sat in the car for a bit, watching Peyton through the window as she interacted with James. Peyton looked so natural with him, as if he were her own child. But his own mother wasn't that comfortable with him. Instead she had been burdened with an extreme case of postpartum depression that she was too embarrassed to tell even her own husband about. Thinking about Nathan made Haley sad and angry at the same time. She turned on the car and drove away from Peyton's house.
Why couldn't any of these radio stations play happy songs? Haley thought to herself. She fiddled with the dial a bit. 30 Seconds to Mars's Beautiful Lie came on. That was the best Haley was going to get. It was all she had. Her foot pressed down harder on the accelerator. Her speedometer needle inched towards ninety. The road stretched ahead of her, long and straight. Haley began to feel excited. Her foot pressed even further down. It was time to see what her car could do. Haley put her window down, feeling the rush of air roll in her window. Her laughter joined the wind as she let it release from within her. This was the most alive she had felt in a while.
"Shit," she cursed as she caught sight of the flashing lights in her rearview mirror. For a moment, she thought she might ignore them. Let him chase her and see what happens. But then the old Haley came out and the present day Haley let off the gas and pulled to the side of road. The police officer got out of his car and made his way to hers.
"Maam at the speed you were going you could have easily killed someone, or yourself." Don't tease me so, Haley thought.
"Sorry officer." But she wasn't.
"I'm going to need to see your license and registration." With a sigh, Haley leaned down and pulled her license from within her purse. She handed it to the officer and was about to get her registration when he spoke to her. "Haley James- Scott?" Haley cringed at the name. "Any relation to Nathan Scott?"
"He's my husband."
"Wow, your husband is one of the most important scouts in all of America. He can really make or break a kid's career." He looked at the license thoughtfully. "Tell you what, I'll make you a deal. If you can guarantee that your husband comes to one of my kid's games, I'll let you off this time."
Haley would love nothing less than to ask her husband for a favor, but she couldn't handle a speeding ticket tonight. It would be the pickle on the giant crap sandwich that was her day. Nay, year. "Deal."
"Great." The officer flipped over the ticket he was going to write her and wrote his son's name and the name of his school on it. "So I'll see your husband at one of the games." He handed the slip over.
"Absolutely." With a last wave, the officer walked away from her car. Haley looked down at the paper. Haley was holding a boy's future in her hands. Here was a father that was so proud of his son, a father that would do anything for his boy it seemed. It made Haley sick. She crumpled up the paper and threw it on the passenger's seat before starting up the car again. She was startled by the blare of the radio, forgetting that she had left it on. The officer waved to her from his car as he passed her.
She didn't know how she got here, she wanted to be alone. But somehow her feet had led her here, to her friend Brooke's office. But instead of going to see Brooke, she had walked right past her office and towards the stairs. The wind whipped her hair as she opened the door and stepped out onto the roof. Stars twinkled overhead. Inhaling deeply, Haley looked to her hand and was surprised to see a beer bottle in it. She had sunk to the bottom, she had turned to drinking to ease her pain. This wasn't Haley. Scratch that, it wasn't the old Haley. The new Haley was willing to try anything in order to pretend life was going fine. But pretending was over; Haley took a swig from the bottle. She walked a few paces and ended up on the edge of the roof. Looking over, Haley's heart began to beat faster and her face flushed with excitement. Eight stories. That was how far she would fall if she were to slip and go over the edge. Testing the waters, Haley took one foot and dangled it over the edge. The alcohol overtook her and made her stumble, immediately she pulled back from the edge. The next time she approached the edge, she sat down. As she sipped from her bottle, she watched the passerbys on the street. One couple caught her eye. They pushed a small stroller and even from eight stories up Haley could hear their laughter. Could hear the love behind their laughter. The couple stopped by a lamp post and kissed, mocking her.
"Enjoy it while it lasts," Haley drunkenly yelled down at them. The two broke apart and looked up at her in shock. "Yeah I'm talking to you two with the stroller." Others began to look up at the drunk on the roof. Haley took this opportunity to preach to the masses. "Actually, I'm talking to all of you. Love doesn't last. We all pretend like it does, but the fact of the matter is that eventually the infatuation ends. And then all that's left is what used to be." Haley took another swig from her bottle. Those on the street shook their heads at her and moved on. Soon the street was deserted. "Alone again, isn't that just fitting," Haley mumbled to herself. "Love sucks!" she screamed into the night. She expected the whole thing to echo back to her, but the only word that reverberated was love. "Nice try!" she yelled to no one in particular. "But it's not going to happen. Love does not exist."
"Tutor girl!" Haley squinted down into the darkness and caught sight of Brooke.
"Hey Brookie!"
"Are you drunk?" Brooke stood with her hands on her hips.
"Nope." Haley hiccupped. "Ok maybe a little."
Brushing the hair from her eyes, Brooke looked up at her best friend on the roof. "Tutor girl, you get down here right now!"
"Sorry Brooke, I can't hear you. I'm eight stories up." Haley shook her head and stood up, walking away from the edge.
Brooke took a different tactic. "I've called Lucas. He's on his way over. He'll be here any minute."
"What the hell is Lucas going to do?" Even from where she was Haley could almost hear Brooke's exasperated sigh.
"He's going to help me get you down from there."
"I'm not coming down!" Haley yelled like a petulant child.
"Oh yes you are," but it wasn't Brooke's voice, it was Lucas's.
"Haley please come down," this voice was Peyton's.
"No!" Haley shook her head.
"There's someone here to see you Haley," Peyton yelled up. Despite her better judgment, Haley walked to the edge. Haley looked down at her group of friends and then saw, in Peyton's arms, a blonde head that she knew belonged to her son. "He wants his mommy to come down here and hold him." Even from up here Haley could see the big smile on his face as he twirled Peyton's blonde hair around his chubby fingers. Holding the hair of the woman he wished he belonged to. Instead he got a drunk on the roof.
"No he doesn't." Haley's head shook back and forth. "He doesn't love me."
"Haley that's not true," Brooke scolded her.
"It is. I'm not a good mother. He'd be better off with you Peyton. Or you Lucas. Or even you Brooke." Tears began to slide from Haley's eyes.
"Ok now you really need to come down Haley, so I can kick your butt," Brooke quipped.
"Did I ever tell you that I once dreamed of leaving him on the doorstep of a nunnery, but then I realized that I didn't know where a nearby nunnery was so I wanted to give him to Dan?"
"Haley," Peyton began to soothe.
"I cry every time Nathan leaves me alone with James."
"Haley you're just going through post-partum depression. There are meds that can help with that. It's not a big deal," Brooke shouted. For a moment Haley was impressed that Brooke even knew what postpartum depression was but then she went back to screaming at the three on the ground.
"I know about all the meds. But meds change people. I don't want to be a druggie." Haley moved closer to the edge.
"Well tell you what, the three of us will take James for a while. Give you and Nathan a break," Lucas pleaded.
"Nathan doesn't want a break from James. He wants a break from me. I'm just waiting for the day when he serves me the divorce papers."
"Nathan loves you Haley," Peyton corrected her.
"Oh does he? Then where is he?" She waved her hand at the three of them.
"I'm right here." From behind Lucas, Nathan walked from the shadows.
Despite her anger, Haley was relieved to see him. "Nathan," she whispered.
"Haley come down from there, we can talk about all of this." Nathan held his arms out.
This simple gesture brought back her anger. "Talk about what? Talk about how you are screwing around with your secretary?" Clearly, the other three on the ground had not known about this and they looked to Nathan in shock.
"That was mistake Haley. It only happened once and I swear to you it will never happen again." Nathan stood in front of the other three. "Come home Haley. Come home with me and your son."
"No." Haley's arms began to make spastic movements.
"Haley I love you. When Lucas called me tonight telling me that you were on the roof my first thought was that I don't tell you that enough. My second thought was that I really don't deserve you and that maybe this is God's way of telling me that. Haley I know you can do so much better than me and that I don't really deserve your forgiveness. But I love you and you can't do this to me. Come down and you can either come home or go out into the world to find that guy who really deserves you." Haley began to sob.
"Shut up!" Haley threw her beer bottle at Nathan, who had to jump back a bit to avoid the glass shatters. "If you wanted to break up with me you should have just brought the divorce papers!"
"I don't want to break up with you. Haley I know I screwed up, but I love you! And I'll stand out here all night long if I have to to make you believe that." Brooke leaned her head on Lucas's shoulder.
"She's going to be all right isn't she?" Lucas looked down into Brooke's eyes filled with tears. Then he looked to James, a big smile on his face, unaware of what was going on. Lucas didn't know what to tell Brooke, but she interpreted his silence and began to sob, burying her face in his chest.
"Haley come down!" Lucas yelled, a bit angrily as he put one arm around Brooke and the other around Peyton who clung to James.
"Why? It's not like I have anything to live for!"
"What about your son?!" Lucas yelled.
"My son? You mean the child who made me lose everything. My whole world came crashing down after I had James. I got kicked off my music tour and flunked out of college."
"None of us went to college," Brooke corrected Haley.
"Yeah but things worked out for each and every one of you. Lucas, you published a best seller and now own your own publishing firm. Brooke, you have your own clothing line and are one of the hottest designers in fashion. Peyton, you have your own record label and seem to have an innate ability to know which records are going to sell. And then my dear husband you're one of the best scouts in all of America." Haley seemed to become crazed. "Which, by the way, did come in handy this evening. I got out of a speeding ticket by promising an officer that you would come to his son's game." Haley mumbled to herself, "God what is so important about basketball. It's a stupid game full of boys trying to put a ball through a hoop."
"You've got us Hales," Lucas called to his best friend. Her cackle filled the air.
"Well you are an author Lucas, you have to be good at the bull shit."
"It's not bull shit Haley, we're here for you," Nathan told her.
"Bull shit! Peyton, Brooke, and Lucas are all preoccupied with their perpetual love triangle. Peyton and Lucas. Lucas and Brooke. Lucas and some random girl. Brooke and some random boy. Peyton alone. Lucas and Peyton and Brooke. When will it end?! And then there's you Nathan. You say you're there for me? Then how come it took me standing on a roof to get you to notice that things weren't fine with me?"
"I know Haley! I know I screwed up! But I won't do it again! So go ahead Haley, jump. But I'm going to be here to catch you."
"Nathan, you can't." Tears rolled down Haley's face in buckets. She stepped even closer to the edge. Pebbles rolled down, falling eight stories to hit the ground below.
"Mama!" James cooed as he caught sight of his mother on the edge.
"I'm sorry baby," Haley said as she stood on the very edge of the rood. Brooke squeezed her eyes shut, praying that she wouldn't hear the thud. Peyton buried her face in James's hair. Nathan and Lucas both ran forward and watched as Haley's body fell gracefully from its position on the roof. She fell eight stories before landing next to the building. Lucas and Nathan arrived at the position too late.
"Haley!" Nathan screamed as he reached his wife's body. He touched her hair. Kissed her face. He heard the sound of Brooke and Peyton's sobs. Lucas joined his brother next to Haley's body. "She may have fallen, but as far as I'm concerned I pushed her." Nathan began to cry. "Haley I love you." He put his head on her chest and took her hand. "I'm so sorry. So so sorry."
And that's it. If you like this ending, yay you're just as screwed up as I am. But if you hated the ending go to the next chapter for an alternate one.