A/N: I like the idea of the Flavor Text Chara, so I wanted to write a oneshot about it. Of course, being the nasty little shipper I am (and because I don't want to end up writing ANOTHER complicated story) it's Sans/Frisk. Completely fluffy though.
For those who don't know, Flavor Text Chara AU is the idea that all of the information the game provides (i.e. the thought of the mouse eventually getting the cheese...) is provided by Chara, who essentially is a spirit that follows Frisk around. It can be super cute, but also super sad.
In this particular story, it's funny.
Tags/Warnings: Flavor Text Chara AU. Ambiguous Gender Frisk and Chara. Rated for bad words and slightly suggestive scenes and discussions.
Frisk and Chara had known each other ever since Frisk had first talked to Flowey. Neither of them were certain as to why they were connected, or how Chara was a spirit, but they did know that nobody else but Frisk could see or hear Chara. Which, to Chara, was fine. They didn't want their old parents knowing that Chara was somehow existing when Asriel was not. Chara would rather be a bystander and see what Frisk would do than to try to actively take over.
Not to say that didn't happen in some timelines.
Chara liked Frisk. Chara didn't know why they liked Frisk, but they did. The kid was quiet and sweet and, frankly, Chara couldn't imagine hating them. Frisk went out of their way to find a way out of every fight without killing a monster. Which was admirable considering that all of the monsters had tried to kill Frisk just because they were a human. Chara had been there to give Frisk advice and to help explain what the monsters were doing because sometimes monsters were just...extremely difficult to read. And Frisk had been killed far too many times trying to guess and not knowing when to spare.
And when, by the end of everything, the monsters had been set free, Chara still stayed with Frisk. They didn't have too much of a choice in the matter. Whatever had summoned them to Frisk had been released upon them leaving the Underground...but like Asriel, Chara was not quite ready to let go. And Frisk wasn't complaining, so Chara stuck around.
It'd been a while since then. Monsters had settled in the upperworld, and everyone was contented. Frisk and Chara lived together with Toriel and occasionally Asgore. Frisk went to school like a typical child, and Chara followed along like a typical ghost. It was… strange... for Chara to be surrounded by so many others but to not be seen. They, for the most part, enjoyed it. They were fine with Frisk being the only one able to see them. They could share in on Frisk's laughs without worry about anyone hearing their comments. Especially because not all of Chara's comments were savory.
Today was a late summer's day and Frisk was sitting on the edge of the lake with Chara by them. Chara was relaxed with the solitude, and Frisk took that in and cherished it. Frisk could occasionally feel what Chara was feeling, after all, and they liked when Chara was contented. There were others by the lake as well, but Frisk sat away from them under the shade. Their face was starting to burn from the sun, so they were taking a break to add more lotion and relax.
"*Undyne is preparing to dunk Alphys." Chara told Frisk, pointing. Of course Chara was right in the way they were always right about the actions of the monsters. Frisk didn't know if Chara was just good at reading them, or if somehow the spirit could predict the near future. They didn't ask. They just smiled as Undyne did, in fact, dunk a shrieking Alphys into the water. The lizard woman came up spluttering and flailing while Undyne cackled.
"sup, kiddo?" Frisk stiffened a little at Sans's surprise appearance next to them. He was grinning, as usual, with Papyrus waving enthusiastically at the human. Papyrus was dressed to swim, but Sans was not. Beside Frisk, Chara made a face. They didn't like Sans, for whatever reason. They never explained it to Frisk, only saying that there was more to Sans than it seemed. It was a warning. Chara didn't like Frisk getting too close to Sans. There was a minor undercurrent of fear that Frisk received from Chara whenever they were near Sans. Frisk brushed it away, but understood that something had probably happened in a timeline that Frisk couldn't remember. There had been enough times when Chara had taken over Frisk's body.
Frisk gave a cheerful wave back. "ARE YOU NOT SWIMMING, FRISK?" Papyrus asked. He was rubbing something onto his bones.
"*Papyrus is rubbing yogurt onto his bones." Chara informed Frisk helpfully. Frisk stared at Papyrus, baffled, but brushed that off as well. It wasn't the strangest thing Papyrus had rubbed onto himself.
Frisk shook their head and pointed at their reddened face. Sans chuckled. "they got burned, bro."
"THIS IS WHY YOU MUST WEAR MORE SUNSCREEN, FRISK! HUMAN SKIN, UNLIKE MY TOUGH BONES, BURNS QUITE EASILY!"
Frisk just nodded in understanding, pausing to cough as their throat itched unpleasantly. "*Papyrus looks satisfied." Chara said. They rolled their eyes. "*It does not take much to satisfy him." They noted. Chara didn't seem to care too much for Papyrus either, but that was probably because of how excitable Papyrus was. Chara preferred the quiet. Papyrus gave a wave and left to join Undyne and spare Alphys from more wrestling.
"*Alphys would probably enjoy a different type of wrestling more." Chara muttered. Frisk flushed at the thought and quickly shook the image out of their head. By the time they had done so, Sans had joined them in the shade. He relaxed back on the ground, stretching. A couple of his bones popped. Papyrus wasn't around to hear it. Frisk's eyes trailed over Sans, pausing curiously at the exposure of emptiness where his stomach would be, before drifting to his face. Their heart pumped a bit faster at his proximity.
"so." Sans opened one of his eyes to gaze at Frisk. He didn't notice Chara making a face at him. "did'ja finish your gift?" He asked.
Frisk nodded happily. Sans had been aware that Frisk had been making him a present for his birthday. Or, rather, all the adult monsters' "birthdays". Today was a day where all the adult monsters "aged" one day. It was just easier to all celebrate at once, the monsters had explained to Frisk a long time ago, and it was the same with Children's Day. The concept of separate birthdays had been an interesting one for the monsters when the humans decided to maintain their own birthdates.
They reached into their towel bag and pulled out a handmade jacket, similar to the one Sans had worn back when Frisk had first met him, and handed it to him. It had fur all along the inside and in the hood. It had been a challenge for Frisk to make an actual snow jacket, but they had been proud of their success. Sans had needed a new one ever since the old one he had worn had an unfortunate accident at Grillbz and Papyrus had been forced to toss it.
Sans took it with his usual impassive face. Chara made a disgusted noise and grumpily said, "*Sans looks pleased."
Frisk looked at Chara, and then back to Sans. One day Frisk would learn how to better read the skeleton. Chara refused to give tips.
"wow. this looks great, pal." He pulled it on and tested how versatile the material was. Frisk watched proudly. Sans's smile widened some, now visibly pleased, and turned back to Frisk. His smile softened some, and Frisk's heart jumped. "thanks frisk. it's great."
Frisk could feel their face heating up. They nodded shyly, looking at the ground and away. Chara watched them, frowning. They all heard Papyrus call for Sans, so Sans stood up and took his leave. Frisk gave a small wave to his retreating back, a smile still on their face. Chara twisted in front of them and stared. Frisk looked away.
"*No." The spirit gasped, horrified. "*No, Frisk, no, come on!" Frisk covered their face. "*You can't LIKE him!" Chara bemoaned. Frisk just buried their face further into their hands. Their ears and neck were turning red as well. They didn't want Chara finding out about their feelings for Sans for exactly this reason. "*Why HIM? *Why that smiling trashbag?" They shook their heads in disgust.
Frisk only peeked at them. They couldn't help their feelings for Sans. He had been a big part of their life in this monster world. He had helped out (kind of) in the Underground when Frisk needed help, and he was hilarious. Frisk had a soft-spot for those who truly made them happy, and Sans was one of them. They, of course, had other friends who did similar, but most of them weren't viable options. And Frisk's little heart had settled on their skeleton friend.
Chara was not happy with this.
Now that Chara was aware of Frisk's crush, they could see it everywhere. They could read it in their posture and face just as well as they could read any of the monsters they both came across. It was absolutely disgusting. It was also infuriating because if Chara could see it, who's to say that someone else couldn't? Like, say, smiley trashbag himself?
What the hell did Frisk even see in Sans? Chara could not see the appeal. He had no skin, no softness, told terrible jokes (like Mom did), and liked to be a general dick. He wasn't helpful, he was obnoxious. Yet Frisk continued to moon over him like Sans was the best person they'd ever come across. It was gross. And Chara really didn't want to have to deal with Frisk's bad attempts at flirtation and coy actions, but unfortunately they were stuck with it.
Chara grabbed Frisk's shoulders one day and stared them in the eye. "*You do realize that he is a skeleton, right?"
Frisk flushed and glared a little sulkily. Yes, of course they knew.
Chara leaned a bit closer, a bit more insistent. "*That means he does not have a di−!"
Frisk covered their ears and shook their head, firmly ignoring Chara. Chara continued to yell, though, because nobody else could hear them anyway. "*HE CANNOT HAVE SEX WITH YOU! *FRISK! *IT IS IMPOSSIBLE!"
Frisk just shook their head more, running off to try to escape Chara's words and thoroughly mortified. Chara just chased after them. It's not like Frisk had been imagining being in bed with Sans! (Okay maybe that was a lie; but those were imaginings! They knew that Sans probably didn't have anything down there!)
Frisk kept running until they suddenly slammed into something, falling flat on their bottom. They looked up in shock to see Sans steadying himself. "whoa, kid, where's the fire?" He asked.
Chara quickly caught up to Frisk, leaning over their shoulder and hissing, "*He does not have a penis! *You tried not to look at the front of his shorts."
Frisk tried not to. Their eyes darted downwards anyway.
"*But you failed."
Frisk turned and swatted at Chara furiously.
"uh..." Frisk froze and spun back around to face Sans. He looked amused, but definitely lost by Frisk's actions. Frisk would rather just cancel this whole day right now. What was the chance of them loading a save so that none of this had ever occurred? Why did it have to be Sans that they'd run into? "you alright there, pal?"
Frisk nodded, rubbing their eyes with the heels of their hands to show they were tired.
"*Sans does not look like he believes you." Chara informed Frisk casually. They were smiling, clearly happy about the situation. Frisk swatted at the open air like there were tiny bugs flying around their face. That seemed to amuse Sans more.
"gnats gettin' to ya?" He asked. Frisk nodded hurriedly to accept his excuse. Chara sulked.
"*Sans is making sure you do not seem insane." They told Frisk snottily. Frisk ignored them, knowing they were wrong this time. Or, at least, they hoped so.
Sans motioned to follow him, which Frisk did so gladly. They glanced at his hand and wondered if they should risk trying to hold it. Would Sans be bothered by it? Frisk held hands with a lot of people, so maybe he wouldn't mind. Sans was one of the few friends who hadn't actively tried to hold Frisk's hand at all ever since they had met the human. Frisk was determined to try.
They reached forward to grab his loose hand.
"*You ended up tripping instead." Chara predicted and, like most of Chara's strange predictions, Frisk ended up falling onto their face rather than holding Sans's hand. Sans paused. Frisk continued to lay on the ground contemplating as to why life was so unfair to them today. Maybe they were coming down with something? Probably a case of "Obnoxious Spirits".
"heh heh heh." Sans chuckled. "dontcha think it's a little early for fall?"
Chara groaned. Frisk picked themselves back up and gave a smile at Sans's joke. They didn't think it was too bad even though it was at the expense of themselves. They brushed themselves off and glanced around to see what had tripped them. Oh, apparently it had been a large rock. Great.
The three of them eventually ended up at a Nice Cream stall where Sans bought them both a Nice Cream. They took a seat on a bench in the shade. Frisk gladly enjoyed their Nice Cream, allowing its cool creaminess to sooth their throat. They couldn't tell if they were thirsty, or if they were actually starting to get sick. Chara hadn't said anything about it yet.
Sans chatted with Frisk about nothing in particular. He tended to take over the conversation, but Frisk was glad to have him do so. They listened to what he said and watched his tongue ("*You decided not to question the tongue. *Please do not question the tongue.") as he ate his own treat. Frisk's eyes darted back to their own treat, but they couldn't resist looking at him. He wasn't the definition of handsome, but Frisk couldn't help who they liked. Sitting this close to him felt right, although it was nerve-wracking. Why was it they could be so brave only at certain times?
They looked at him and noticed that some of his Nice Cream had gotten onto his cheekbone. He hadn't noticed it yet. Frisk suddenly had two options ahead of them.
*Lick
*Wipe
"*You decided to−" Chara began, but Frisk acted before they could finish.
Frisk leaned forward, tongue pressing to the back of their teeth as they prepared to lick the Nice Cream right off of Sans's cheek. Their determination was strong. Chara panicked and made a screeching sound, which caused Frisk to stumble and lose their balance. They made a small noise as their half-melted Nice Cream was flung from the cone it was on, landing on Frisk's back and hair as they fell right across Sans's lap.
Chara screeched a little louder, furious.
"well. didn't expect you to fall for me, buddy." Sans said. Frisk scrambled up, shivering as the Nice Cream ran down their shirt on both the inside and outside. They could feel the cream in their hair. They attempted to reach their last Save, but Chara refused.
Frisk quickly tried to apologize, mortified, but Sans waved them off. He continued to grin as his hand reached around the back of Frisk's neck. His fingers trailed along the skin there, making Frisk shiver again as he gathered some of the cream that had fallen there. He then licked his fingers, watching Frisk. The human shivered for a different reason this time. They couldn't look away.
"looks like you're in a sticky situation, kid." Sans said. "probably should head home for the day." Frisk was still staring at him.
Chara made an annoyed noise. "*You nodded in agreement." Frisk nodded in agreement and stood up. Their eyes kept glancing back at Sans, but they waved goodbye and hurried home. Their mind was a mess with what had just happened. They had humiliated themselves multiple times in front of the skeleton, but then he'd done... done... that! Why had he done that?
Frisk glared at Chara after their shower. They climbed into bed for the evening and stared the spirit down. Chara looked unrepentant, ignoring the other human. Frisk realized that Chara wasn't going to apologize for what they had done today, so they decided to ignore the spirit. They curled up in their bed and stared at their own fingers.
Sans had been...flirting earlier, right? Frisk hadn't imagined that? It wasn't often that Frisk got to see Sans's strange tongue, and it always did stuff to them. They buried their face more into their pillow, gripping it. It wasn't fair that Sans had such an effect on them. They wanted to affect Sans too, but their attempts at flirting were mediocre at best, and foiled by Chara at worst. Today had been terrible. Mom hadn't been too happy about the mess, especially because Frisk had to explain how they managed to trip and get their Nice Cream all over their back.
They supposed that, in the end, it had been somewhat worth it to see the look Sans had given them as he licked his fingers.
Chara watched the other human as they played with the fluff of their pillow, deep in thought. They coughed some, wincing at their no-doubt sore throat. Chara could see the signs of sickness. They wondered if they should alert the human. Instead they huffed and lay down next to them, staring at the ceiling. Frisk ignored them. "*There is no point in becoming aroused." Chara told them bluntly, making Frisk stiffen. They had been caught.
Frisk covered their head and decided to sleep instead.
The next morning brought to light the sickness that had been brewing in Frisk's body for the past couple of days. They were sick with a minor cold. A summer cold, Toriel had said, tsking. It wasn't uncommon for Frisk to get ill around this time of year, but they hated it each and every time. They didn't like being confined to their bed, even if it meant they could play on their computer all day and nap. They had wanted to go celebrate Children's Day (which was the monster children's birthday) with some of their monster friends, but instead they were stuck in bed. Even if they didn't have their birthday on that day, they had still been hoping to play with water balloons.
Frisk also hated taking liquid medicine. It made them absolutely queasy and made them feel sicker after they took it. They were obstinate about not taking it, turning their head away every time Mom tried to feed it to them. Chara watched the proceeds feeling a little exasperated. It was counterproductive, in their opinion, to reject whatever it was that would help Frisk feel better if Frisk hated being sick so much. They struggled and thrashed their head away from the offered medicine until Toriel gave up and placed it on the bedside table for when Frisk wanted to take it.
She crossed her arms. "I will be back in fifteen minutes." She told them sternly, "and you better have taken that medicine when I return, Frisk."
Frisk reluctantly took the medicine not long after Mom had left.
Later that day Frisk had been visited by a number of their friends. Despite not having their birthday on this day, some of the monster children had still brought Frisk some smaller gifts. Everyone visited in ones or twos until it was later on in the evening. Then the only people in Frisk's room were Frisk, Chara, Toriel, and Sans. Sans was flipping the gag pen he had brought Frisk. Pressing down on it would issue the user with a small shock. Frisk liked it. Once again Toriel was attempting to give Frisk their medicine.
"Please take it, my child. You need it to feel better. You know this." Frisk did know this from past experience. That didn't mean they wanted to take it anyway. Chara watched Frisk. The human was red and sweating. Their fever had become higher with the excitement of all of the visitors. They hadn't been able to sleep very much. Frisk groaned a little, upset as their stomach ached at the thought of the disgusting and bitter medication.
"take a break, tori. i'll try." Sans suggested. Chara recognized that devious look in the skeleton's face. He was up to something.
"*Sans is planning something." Chara warned Frisk. The human squinted as Toriel relinquished the disgusting medicine to Sans and left the room while saying how she would get some soup ready for dinner.
Sans approached with the medicine and he supported Frisk's shoulders as they sat up. His eyes danced over the human's face. Chara couldn't read his expression, which bothered the spirit. What was he planning? Then Sans's smile got bigger and more devious. He leaned in close to Frisk's face, which sent the human's heartrate skyrocketing. Their hands, to help steady themselves, clenched into Sans's jacket automatically.
"com'mon frisk." Sans murmured. "if you take your meds, how 'bout i give you a reward?"
Frisk's head twitched a little to the side, interest perked.
Sans leaned even closer, his breath fanning across Frisk's face as he breathed out. Chara made an alarmed sound, but Frisk ignored them. "you take your meds...'n i'll give you a kiss."
Frisk gaped. A kiss? Sans would kiss them if they took their medicine? Frisk...Frisk would get a kiss. They would finally get to kiss Sans. Did anime say something about if you kiss someone you'll pass on your cold? But Sans couldn't catch human illnesses. Frisk felt too hot. Their head was spinning. They really didn't want this cold anymore. Maybe if Frisk kissed him thoroughly enough, the cold would still go away. The benefits outweighed the cost.
*Don't kiss him. (That one was Chara's voiced option.)
*Obviously let's kiss him.
Frisk tugged on Sans jacket to show they would accept the offer. Sans looked a little surprised, but he chuckled. "alright. open up then." Frisk parted their lips some, closing their eyes for the kiss. Frisk didn't see how Sans's eyes became more focused on Frisk's lips, but Chara did. They scowled.
"*Sans gave you the medicine instead." They said, just as Sans placed the lip of the medicine cup to Frisk's lips. Frisk didn't hide the face they made, but relented and took the medicine. They coughed into their hand, cringing at the flavor. Oh god, it was so disgusting!
"good job." Sans praised instead, a strange tone in his voice. "now for your reward." He leaned down, his mouth right near Frisk's, but suddenly the human went limp. Chara and Sans instantly reacted, both of them crowding the kid. Frisk had fainted, their temperature too high. The excitement had been too much.
"*Fuck!" Chara cried.
"Fuck." Sans muttered, unknowingly echoing Chara's statement.
Due to all of the excitement of the first day, Frisk didn't recover for three days straight. Frisk had sulked the entire time, upset that they had been tricked out of their reward for taking their medicine. They had been even more stubborn about taking the liquid ever since then, refusing to even look at it. Chara found it hilarious, laughing at Frisk's upset.
"*You were spared from skeleton kisses." Chara teased. Frisk buried themselves into their blanket and ignored them. Chara just laughed all the more. This time Frisk couldn't blame them for their failure in front of Sans.
Frisk now was released from their house and left to wander around. They firmly ignored Chara's smug look, their stance determined. Chara's smile fell some as they realized Frisk was on a mission. They followed after curiously. Their trail led them to the front of the skeleton brothers' house. Frisk took a firm stance and shot a look at Chara.
Chara realized what they were doing. They shook their head, not wanting to say it. Frisk held their hand to their heart. From their chest a yellow glow emitted, blending with the red determination of their soul. Chara had to give in, covering their face with a groan as they said unwillingly,
"*The thought of finally kissing Sans...fills you with DETERMINATION."
Both of them felt the save form. And Frisk nodded their thanks before knocking on the door and entering. Sans was lazing on the couch watching NMTT when Frisk entered. He gave a short wave in greeting, but he did sit up some on his elbows.
"heya, kiddo. feelin' better then?" Frisk approached him and nodded. They sat down by his feet and stared at him. Sans watched them back. Chara sulked, ignoring the proceedings. "s'good. so. sup?"
Frisk took a breath. Despite being determined, they were still nervous. They pointed at their lips firmly.
Sans blinked, and then snorted. "oh. you took me seriously."
Frisk's hand slowly lowered along with their heart. It felt like it had abruptly dropped to their stomach.
Chara scowled. "*Sans. HP: 1. One hit is enough." They warned. Frisk didn't respond.
Sans shrugged, unaware of Chara's threat. "alright then." He said and motioned Frisk closer. Frisk's heart jumped up to their throat and they swallowed before scooting closer. "delayed gratification." Sans murmured.
Frisk could deal with that, they decided, as they cupped Sans's face. He grinned, hand brushing back Frisk's hair as he moved forward. They met somewhere in the middle, Frisk leaning their weight on him. Their entire body seemed to hum at the contact with him, their hand trailing over the front of his vertebrae in his neck before curling into his shirt.
Frisk pulled back some. They met Sans's eyes and smiled. Sans tapped his forehead to theirs, tilting his head some to the side. Frisk took the invitation and kissed him, crawling into his lap and throwing their arms around his neck as his own slid down to Frisk's hips, holding them in place.
Chara sat on the arm of the couch and glared at the television as the two next to them collapsed onto the couch. Well, at least Chara could watch television in the meantime.
A/N: (Before any of you ask, yes I had some inspiration from some comics)
There's not enough baffled Sans in here like I'd wanted. Sorry for those who were expecting it because of my tumblr. OTL Sans is just too chill of a guy.