Mistaken Identity
"Whoa, rewind." Wright said to Miller as they were in the crew lounge. Kara and Nishioka had been battling it out on the X-box when Wright had commandeered the TV to prove some stupid theory. Of course, Kara allowed it as she had been losing and well who didn't enjoy a man being stupid. Wright tended to have a theory about everyone and everything. Majority of them completely wrong but always amusing nonetheless.
Burk, Cruz and Miller had been playing poker, as for Danny he'd come in to fill up his water bottle only to be pulled into the conversation because this theory was a doozy.
"Ah that's not a good noise. How many times have you watched this movie?" Burk asked Wright as they were fast forwarding through Independence day on the oldest of VCR machines. It sounded like the tape was being chewed up but then it was 2013 and frankly all of them were still wondering how the US Navy could afford a weapons system upgrade on Nathan James but not a better entertainment centre for the crew lounge.
"Stop, stop, stop." Wright said, Miller pressed stop on the machine as they lost the remote somewhere between the last deployment and this one. Someone argued that Halsey but an ultrasound had disproved that notion. One of Wright's theories that hadn't panned out. "There, see it's him." Wright said pointing to the screen. Kara, Nishioka, Burk, Miller, Danny and Cruz all leaned in and looked at the TV screen. The video quality wasn't so great but the image was fairly clear as this was the second time they'd watch the scene Wright wanted them to see.
"No way, that is not the X.O." Kara said shaking her head as she didn't see it. Sure the X.O. and the actor on the screen had some similarities but not enough to prove Wright's claims.
"Yeah way," Wright told her, she stepped back and quirked an questioning eyebrow at him. He cleared his throat as his cheeks turned red at his impertinence. "Ma'am" he added, Kara let it go as this was just crazy. 3 months of being in the Arctic was making them all have some sort of cabin fever.
"He was a cop in Chicago, South side; very hard core. No one would lie about that." Cruz argued, he stepped away definitely not believing.
"He was a detective." Burk corrected as he joined Cruz who went back to the table to resume their game.
"Adam Baldwin was born in Chicago and-" Wright started but Danny cut him off.
"Look there are similarities but it can't be the same guy. Sorry." Danny told him moving away from the screen and back to the table where he, Burk and
"Look as his IMDB, how is that not him." Wright said as he pulled out his phone and showed them the website.
"Doppleganger." Miller said as he looked at the picture on the phone and back at the screen. He was sitting on the fence as he could see where Wright could make a mistake but he wasn't ready to believe the X.O. had an alter ego. But he also wanted to err on the side of caution and not side with Wright as he didn't want to be made to look stupid.
"Or, it's him and the reason he doesn't talk about it is because he'd totally lose cred on being bad ass given he plays dress up. Look at the filmography, he only been doing voice acting for the past few years and guest stars since Chuck. Which means he could totally be doing acting gigs while on R&R." Wright argued pointing to his phone. Nishioka took the phone from him to look at the web page.
"Let me get this straight, you think our XO is a part time actor and full time Naval officer?" Cruz asked him as he leaned back in his chair looking at Wright with an incredulous expression.
"Yes." Wright said a little unsure but still keeping to it. He gestured to the screen, "It's him, same voice, face and glare. Also Adam Baldwin has a a wife and three kids. He also smokes cigars just like the X.O." Wright said.
"Oh my god, someone's a fanboy." Kara said with a chuckle as she and the others exchanged looks about how much of a stalker Wright sounded like right now.
"Am not." Wright said defensively.
"We don't have the internet or phone reception; yet you have this website cached on your mobile." Nishioka commented, Wright snatched his phone from the guys hand looking further embarrassed that no one was backing him up or even excited as he was by this discovery.
"It's not-" Wright started but Danny cut him off.
"Ok, let's table that conversation. If you're sure, why don't you just ask the X.O.?" Danny asked in a slightly amused tone while he held his hands in mock surrender to keep things 'diplomatically'.
"No, I can't do that. I still have to get more evidence." Wright said defensively.
"Ok, how are you going to do that?" Danny asked him as the rest resumed their seats to see how Wright was going to back-peddle out of this one.
"I just will and when I do-" Wright started but Burk cut him off.
"Oh ok, 'when' sounds fairly confident. So let's make it interesting." he said rubbing his hands together.
"What?" Wright asked.
"Put your money where your mouth is. But the X.O. has to admit to it with witnesses in the room." Burk said.
That day at dinner in the wardroom,
"So Sir, we don't hear much about your life back home. Like where you grew up in Chicago? I'm just curious as to if we're from the same area." Wright said idly as he pushed his food around his plate. He'd been waiting for an opening but decided he had to make his own. His ears were burning already as the X.O. looked to him like he'd grown a second head for addressing him while eating dinner. It wasn't just that but the others at the table who'd paused in the eating of the meal to see what would happen.
"I doubt that given you're from California." Slattery replied coolly before taking a sip of his coffee. The silence that descended on the room killed any further conversation. Wright gave a nod and looked down at his plate but he felt the others eyes on him. Today was a fail but he still had time to salvage it and win the bet.
A few days later,
"Sir, can I ask you something personal?" Wright asked as he approached the X.O. in the gym. He'd made sure there were others in the gym, Lt Benz and Danny were doing weights. Halsey was in the corner waiting patiently and the X.O. was at the high bar doing pull ups.
"No." Slattery replied before he executed another pull up. He didn't even look at Wright as he said it, which made the man feel very awkward for standing there.
"Ah, ok." Wright said as he made a hasty retreat.
The following day,
"Sir, so ah um." Wright stuttered, he tried to be cool as he'd been lurking by the coffee station in the wardroom for over three hours waiting for the X.O. Trying to act cool was a lot harder when he realised he was drinking the last cup of coffee. Something his only realised when the X.O. upturned the pot to get the dregs of the pot into his cup.
"You got a problem Wright?" Slattery asked him, the Ensign was starting to really piss him off. He was everywhere and asking questions something Mike didn't like as he preferred to remain a mystery to the crew. As a commander it was easier to keep a professional distance when people didn't know his personal life and frankly it was work not a social club. No this 'kid' had taken the last of the coffee and not bothered to put in more water and fresh coffee grounds for the next person. A job that was now his as 30mls of coffee wasn't going to cut it.
"No, never mind." Wright said before he took a sip of his coffee.
"You're weirding me out Ensign." Slattery told him with half a growl. He was beginning to wonder if the kid had a man-crush on him or something. If Wright did have a man crush on him then he'd know not to take the last damn coffee without refreshing the station.
"I should go." Wright said.
"Probably a good idea." Mike drawled sarcastically, Wright was at least smart enough to leave.
"So it's been a week and so far all you've done is alienate the X.O." Frankie said as he, Danny, Burk and Cruz were playing cards in the crew lounge. The crew were pretty much laughing their asses at Wright trying to prove the X.O. was an Actor in disguise. Half pretended to believe him and egg him on, some did try to talk him out of it like Lt Foster but Ensign Wright was adamant that he was right. So she gave up and like the rest just waiting for it all to play out and enjoy the show.
"I have not." Wright told them as he and Miller were duking it out on the x-box playing Street Fighter. "You fight like a girl." Wright told Miller.
"I am a girl on the game, doofus." Miller quipped with a smile as he was playing the character Chun Li.
"You totally have alienated the guy, the X.O.'s probably worried that you got a crush on him and wondering how he can talk to you about appropriate boundaries. Gin" Danny said with a chuckle as laid down his cards. Cruz and Burk and placed their cards down with a sigh as Danny was King at Gin Rummy.
"Just pay up, the X.O. is not an actor." Cruz told Wright.
"No, I'm going to win and you're all going to be wrong." Wright said determinedly.
"Ok, but it has to be tonight." Danny told him.
"Tonight?" Wright asked unsure of that amendment to the bet but then they were right. The X.O. was starting to look really uncomfortable at Wright popping up and trying to start a conversation. Frankly, Wright was feeling awkward and uncomfortable by the whole experience.
"Yeah, double or nothing." Danny said with grin.
"Fine, and when he confesses I want everyone to know that I figured it out first." Wright told him.
"Believe me, everyone will know what you were thinking Lt. Jim Dangle." Frankie told him, the others smiled at the movie reference.
"So, I was watching Independence Day the other night and I saw a really familiar face." Wright said at the dinner table. It was a full table tonight in the wardroom. Everyone except the Captain and X.O, knew what was going on. Usually they ate in silence or talked quietly but here Wright was talking loud enough to be the centre of attention.
"Well, of course it's full of familiar faces. Will Smith is -was a popular guy just like Bill Pullman and half that cast." Burk offered as he was trying to remember the names of the other actors but coming up short. He just wanted to see how much of an ass Wright would make of himself. So helping him would be entertaining.
"Bill Pullman was great in 'While You Were Sleeping'." Kara said obviously not helping Wright by taking the conversation off topic.
"I love that Movie." Alisha said a grin on her face as she like everyone else could see Wright squirming to get back to what he wanted to ask the X.O.
"Me too." Danny said before he ate a bite of his food. Everyone stopped eating and looked at the man waiting for his hair to grow long and his bustline to expand. That and well many knew Danny was trying to get into Kara's pants so he tended to end up liking a lot of things she did. So Burk couldn't help but question it.
"You liked 'While You Were Sleeping'?" Burk asked Danny in disbelief.
"It's my Mum's favourite movie. We always watch it at Christmas. Stop judging me." Danny told them all not looking embarrassed but a little annoyed.
"Hey, but the face I saw actually looked a lot like you Sir." Wright said looking to the end where the Captain and the X.O. sat taking the opening in the conversation to redirect it.
"Me?" The Captain asked he and the X.O. hadn't been paying attention at all.
"No, Sir. It was Commander Slattery." Wright said gesturing to Slattery.
"Really?" Alisha asked innocently but there was a mocking lilt to her manner.
"Yeah, it was totally uncanny have you seen the movie Sir?" Wright asked Slattery.
"I don't watch romance movies." Slattery remarked with clear disinterest as he continued to eat. An awkward pause settled over the table as Wright was determined to prove his theory while the others tried not to laugh at the X.O.'s clear lack of knowledge about movies.
"It's not a romance movie. It's Science Fiction with US Military saving the world from Aliens. The guy who looks like you is an Air Force; Major Mitchell." Wright pushed, Slattery put down his cutlery and gave Wright a dark look.
"And I should care because?" He asked the young man.
"It's you." Wright stated, the Captain and X.O. exchanged looks of disbelief. He pulled out his mobile phone and showed them the profile photo of the Actor's IMDB profile. "See?" he asked them.
"That's not him." The Captain stated with just barely glance of the photo but he did look amused as apparently he and the X.O. must have been discussing Wright's behaviour.
"You think that I'm that ugly mug? That I just worked my way up the rank for shits and giggles?" Slattery asked him, his tone serious. One could tell he was offended as he obviously thought he was better looking than the actor and didn't appreciate his reputation being tarnished with lies.
"Well-yeah. I mean no. I just-" Wright stumbled over his words before he closed his mouth and looked down at his meal knowing full well he'd been an idiot and owed people a lot of money now.
"I take it you all think I'm this actor, that I'm just spent the last two decades doing 'research' for a major role in a movie?" he drawled the table, in a mocking manner.
"No, Sir." The resounding reply came from the others who looked too amused for the X.O.'s liking. He and the Captain shared a look of what one would describe as a parent not understanding their children's antics.
"Well, that's comforting to see not everyone on this ship is so gullible." X.O, drawled, he didn't even have to look at Wright for the man to feel the weight of his mistake. He did however look Wright "You, Ensign need to learn to use your brain. I'll be talking to TAO Barker about your insubordinate and disrespectful behaviour for the past week." The X.O added, Wright nodded.
"They are getting dumber every recruitment. A degree does not equal intelligence apparently." Mike muttered to Tom, the two walking the p-way after dinner.
"One or two slip through the system every now and then." Tom remarked with a chuckle.
"Morons." Mike said, Tom smiled as he liked that for once the humour on the ship wasn't about him. Usually new recruits at least the female population tended to get moon eyes over him. Of course they kept their distance but he didn't like being sexualised by his crew, it was just really uncomfortable. His body was only meant for his wife's viewing and tactile pleasure.
"You really going to write up the Ensign?" Tom asked Mike.
"He was stalking me for a week and he drank the last of the coffee without refreshing the station." Mike said darkly.
"He's new and he thought you were his favourite actor." Tom said defending the guy even though he was smiling at the humour of it all.
"I'm leaving it alone but I'm not telling him that. The kid can sweat it out until he's smart enough to not do something like it again. I'm better looking than that guy." Mike grumbled.
"Of course you are." Tom said in agreement, Mike turned to Tom who gave him a mocking smile. Mike was tempted to flip him the bird but there was a chance someone would see and Tom was the Captain. He had to respect his station.
The End