Rose sat on the sofa while she sipped her cup of coffee. It was the third cup she had had, and she still struggled to stay awake. She reached the bottom of the cup. She picked up the digital clock on the table beside where she was sitting. It was 2:25am. She moved into the kitchen to wash the coffee mug, then she would just go to bed. She wouldn't wait for him any longer. As the water got hot, the front door swung open.
"I, uh, fell," the Doctor said walking past Rose on the way to their room.
"How do you mean you fell?" Rose dropped the coffee mug she had been washing. It fell with a clatter into the kitchen sink. A bit chipped off and skidded across the bottom of the sink. A crack split up the side of it. She cursed under her breath.
The Doctor had stopped under the kitchen arch. His pants were torn up the side of his right leg. Blood dripped from the edges of the tear. His shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, and his forearms were covered in gashes. Mud was caked into the buttons on his shirt.
"What the hell happened this time?" Rose walked toward the Doctor to further examine his injuries.
"I just fell." The Doctor focused his gaze on a particular tile on the floor. Rose unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it over his arms. There were additional cuts and bruises on his chest. He tried to explain, "I…"
"This is the third time this week that you have come home after midnight, and tonight it looks like you were hit by a bus." Rose ran a hand through her already messy hair and returned to the kitchen sink. She slammed her hands on the counter. "I can't keep doing this. I sat on that couch for hours praying to whoever that you weren't dead in some alley or fucking some random girl. Wha's the matter, Doctor? Wha' happened?" She leaned against the counter shaking.
The Doctor moved silently across the kitchen. He wrapped himself around her, and she nestled her head against him. He ran his fingers through her hair. "I'm so sorry." Rose tilted her head up to look at him. He cupped her face in his hand. "This. This life. It's not made for me. I can't go to work every day, come home every night, and then do it all over again." He pulled away from her. "I'm a Timelord. I'm a bloody Timelord. I have saved civilizations and planets." He gave a harsh laugh. "I've saved the entire universe, and I end up exiled to a universe where I have no power. I'm living in a bloody flat. I have nothing!"
"Nothing?" Rose asked. There was no hint of sorrow or pain in her voice. It was pure anger.
"No, no. I didn't mean.. I.." He took Rose's hands in his own. "You are the only thing that has stopped me from going completely mad these last few months."
"Well, I haven't done a very good job then, have I?" She pulled her hands from his and pushed past him on her way to the bedroom. She curled up in bed. She was angry, very angry. She laid in bed for what felt like an eternity, yet only a few seconds of the stress-filled life that she had made for herself. Eventually, she fell asleep.
The Doctor did not follow her to their room. He passed out on the couch for a while. At some point during the night, he left. He didn't know what time it was. This human body couldn't do what the Timelord one could. He couldn't feel the turn of the Earth. He could hardly metabolize anything. He healed at a normal rate. And, best of all, if he died, that was it. There was no chance of regeneration. His one heart would cease to beat, and that would be the end. An end he had began to want more and more.
The Doctor wandered London's streets for a while. He had never changed his pants, and he had forgotten to put on a shirt. He found his way to a park, and sat on a park bench for a while. A man joined him at some point and offered to sell him drugs. "No thanks. I don't do that."
"Nah, mate. We all do somefing. You judge me for doing this, but I bet yous gets your fix in a much worse way. At least I'll admit to mine. Wha' the hell're you dressed like that for anyways?"
"It's a long story."
"'Ts a long story then. Don' wanna talk to the crazy drug dealer. I don' give a fuck anyway, mate. Just offering you a distraction from this hellhole of a world." He stood, but before he could walk away the Doctor stopped him.
"Maybe I do want something. Uh, I don't know what."
"Ima give you some acid. You look like you need a good trip."
"Acid? Acid! You mean Lysergic Acid Diethylami! LSD! Ha! I've always wanted to try that."
"Aight." The man was suddenly very anxious about this stranger in the park. A transaction took place and the Doctor let the small tablet dissolve on his tongue. He stayed out all night. He vowed to return home before Rose woke up. He had work, and he had better of encountered her before they had to work together.
The Doctor awoke in a house at the edge of the city. Smoke filled the room. Light filtered in through cracks in the windows. He opened his eyes. Two naked women lay on either side of him. He quickly jumped out of bed, found his pants, and ran for the door.
Rose's alarm went off at seven twenty-five; the way it always did. She rolled over and flung her arm across the bed. The Doctor wasn't with her, but she didn't really expect him to be. It wasn't exactly the first time she'd woken up alone. It would have been more surprising if the Doctor had been there, but every morning, even if only for a few seconds, she missed the warmth of his body next to hers. She rolled out of bed and barely landed on her feet. She brushed her teeth while waiting for the shower to get warm. She tested the water with her hand before jumping behind the shower curtain. The searing water practically burned her skin. She worked shampoo through her hair and allowed the water to burn her. Pain was something she was getting used to. As the Doctor continued hurting her, she began hurting herself. Just in small ways, like the hot shower. At least she could control the pain if it was self inflicted. She clung to any ounce of control she could find.
She was alone more and more frequently. She rinsed her hair and poured some conditioner on her hands. The Doctor had picked out these current hair products. She had had to stay late at work, and he had been all too eager to help her out. He got the grocery list and went out to buy everything. He had bought the most expensive brands he could find, but she couldn't be angry with him. He really didn't know how to live a normal life. This was, of course, before everything had started to fall apart. This was when he still slept in the bed with her just to be near her. This was when he wanted nothing more than to make her happy. He made her breakfast every morning and left her notes around the flat to remind her of his love. This was when they would stay up for hours talking and laughing and kissing and fucking. The Doctor would refuse to let her sleep until she had told him that she loved him. They would lay in bed just saying it back and forth until one or the other fell asleep. But that had been over a month ago.
Now, he disappeared after work and showed up at home when he felt like it. They never laughed or kissed anymore. They still talked. And screamed. And fought. And fucked, actually. He would show up shit-faced and yell about something stupid. She would yell back until her voice was hoarse. Then, she would push him against the counter, pull off his clothes, and take out her anger. He would happily oblige to this. He would rip her shirts and pull her hair. She would slam him backwards as hard as she could and bite his neck and chest. She would draw blood, and the next day he would wear a turtleneck to work. She hated herself constantly, and he hated himself. Once or twice, he arrived home and reeked of perfume and alcohol. She just laughed and nodded at him. The next day she wouldn't go to work. She would go and spend the day with some random young, hot guy. She never did anything with him. She couldn't bring herself to, but the Doctor didn't know that.
She finished rinsing the soap from her body and wrapped a towel around herself. She wandered out of the bathroom and found the Doctor sitting on the bed. She jumped backwards and almost dropped her towel. "Welcome home," she muttered coldly. He had put on a shirt and tie. He had changed his trousers and taken off his shoes.
"Rose, why don't we take the day off of work and just talk." He looked like hell.
"Why not?" She was almost sarcastic, but not quite. "I'll call."
Ten minutes later, she sat down beside him on the bed and he began his story. "So it started about a month ago, right?" She nodded. "That was when I hit a dead end on the whole TARDIS growth thing. My hope of returning to regular life, or completely not regular in my particular case, was gone."
"Our case, you mean?" She rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, yeah our case. I started leaving work early to go drink at some place I found on the other side of the city. I would drink so much that I didn't want to come here because I knew you would be mad and you deserve better than a drunk, depressed half-Timelord. I kept that up for a few weeks. I tried to get home when you would be asleep, but then you started waiting for me. I would get home, and I was so upset and you were so angry then you know and then I wouldn't want to be alive anymore. I would go on walks through the city and forget to sleep."
"Why didn't you just tell me about the TARDIS?"
"I didn't want to take away your hope, too."
"You don't have to protect me anymore! I can do that on my own." She opened her mouth to speak again, but didn't. She sat silently for a minute, then worked up the courage to say, "I know you've been seeing people."
"I don't know their names." Rose scoffed. The Doctor continued: "One was the bartender at the bar one night. She started talking to me about her life and she asked about mine. I told her about how I was upset because I felt stuck, more literally than she could comprehend. She said I needed to relax and let loose. I told her that she was probably right. She called a taxi and took me to some warehouse where there was a party. She danced. I stayed by the wall wishing I was here with you and wishing I hadn't been so awful to you. She saw me alone and led me back to some room. She threw me to the ground, and I think you can guess what happened next.." His voice trailed off with the last sentence. "I went back to that party a few times and there were other women from there. Sometimes, I don't know how it happens. I drank too much the night before."
"Figures."
"Would you like to share with me what you've been up to whilst not at work?"
"In fact, I would not." Rose stood up and dropped her towel.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"Don't pretend to be modest, Doctor. It's nothing you haven't seen before. 'm changing. Oh, and then I'm going to work 'cause I'm not using a vacation day sitting around being angry."
"So you are angry?"
"Of course I'm angry! And nice touch with the 'wishing I was here with you' thing."
"That was true! I did wish I was here with you. I hate them. I hated them while I was with them. I didn't enjoy it. I wanted nothing more than to be here watching a movie with you curled up beside me!"
Rose pulled on her knickers and latched her bra then paused. "I believe you, and I hate you. And I hate that I believe you," she said with an even tone. She moved back to the bed. "An' I love you but, I can't stay here all day. I don't know why I thought I would be able to. We need to go to work. It will make us both feel better." She patted his hands. She stood to finish getting ready, but the Doctor grabbed her wrist on the way.
"Please just stay," he pleaded.
"Doctor! Cut it out!" She unsuccessfully tried to pull her wrist from his grasp. "You don't think work would do us good?"
Still holding onto Rose, he said, "No."
"Seriously, Doctor? I'm going to work. You comin' or not?"
The Doctor sat on the bed still holding Rose's wrist in his hand. He could feel her anger building up. He had a plan, but it was not a good one. A very, very not good one. But, what the hell? The Doctor pulled her onto the bed and sat on her hips. "Rose.."
"Get off me," she squirmed under him. He pinned her wrists above her head.
"I need you to listen to me."
"If you do anything to me, it is rape. I do not consent to anything. Whatever this is, it is some kind of assault. Probably sexual given that I'm half naked!"
"Me touching you? Is that assault, now?"
"It is when you aren't giving me any choice in the matter."
"How did we get here?" He squeezed her wrists until he saw the pain on her face. He got off of her. "Go to work. I don't care."
"No, I don't want to anymore." She propped herself up on her elbows.
The Doctor looked over at her. She was still just in her knickers and bra. Her hair was damp and disarray. She had a hint of yesterday's make-up smeared under her eyes. "God, you are beautiful."
Rose pushed herself up and pushed the Doctor backwards. She straddled him and pulled him up by his tie until their mouths crashed together. He wrapped his arms around her bare back. She moved and kissed along his jawline nipping at his ear when she got there. She dropped his tie and shoved him backwards with all the strength she could muster. She loosened his tie, slipped it around his head, and threw it across the room. She tore off his shirt buttons with her teeth and he arched his back to help her get it around his arms. She dug her fingernails into his chest and dragged them down. She created new wounds and broke open the old ones. The Doctor screamed in pain but did nothing to stop her. She moved her hips in a circle to further his arousal. She felt that it had worked.
She scooted herself off of him, and pulled him to his feet. She knelt before him and undid his trousers. In a single motion, she pulled off both his trousers and his pants. He grabbed her by the hair. "Don't," he commanded.
"Don't worry, you'll enjoy it." Her voice wasn't seductive; it was harsh. She sounded like she'd rather shoot him than she would blow him, but as he released her hair she did just that.
The Doctor came and collapsed backwards onto the bed. Rose slumped over against the bed. Her head laid in between his open legs. She climbed to lay beside him. "I don't know what we're going to do." She looked over at him, hoping he would fix everything in that one moment.
"We'll figure it out. Because we're the stuff of legend, remember?" He flashed an endearing smile and pulled her hand to his mouth. He kissed her lovingly across the fingers.
