It was ending. She could taste it like a thick, solid wax pressing into her skin, glazing over her eyes like a burning sorrow.
The look in his eyes swallowed her whole, in its surrender, and confusion, and she didn't know how to react to that.
She wanted to hit him, and then kiss him, because pain and longing weren't just the only reasons she sat next to him.
She knew. And he knew. It was a whole cornucopia of knowledge, here on this bus. Like, their thoughts were shared, and only glances were the connection.
His bag was hidden, but she could see it, even after he nudged it into the crevice between him and the bus wall. Could he fit her in that crevice as well? Fit her along with his things so he could bring her along?
No.
I love you. No. I think I love you. Not enough. Maybe if she offered him sexual favors….no don't be ridiculous. All her books? No.
What could make him stay? Me? Just me? Am I enough? Too much? Or not enough?
For a second, she had an irrational thought of knocking him unconscious so he would have to stay.
No, that's not…no. Can't do that.
She was trembling, she noticed, watching her hands shake in her lap, and her lips quiver with emotion.
"I can't take you to the prom." Jess suddenly muttered, interrupting her reverie.
Oh.
Rory nodded, running her hand through her hair and biting her lip nervously. Oh, the prom. Her mom would be mad. She was planning the dress already, and Lane. Oh god, Lane. She'd be mad. Yes, focus on them, not on him, not on him, not on him leaving. Please make him stop. I don't want him to go.
Suddenly, his hand covered her quavering hands, and the warmth encased her. He was so hot and cold, it drove her crazy, made her hate it, when it was negative and want it because it was just so…just so…sexy and luring.
His thumb caressed her palm, a movement that frazzled her, making her feel like leaning in and kissing him and hurting him, for giving him more reason to love him and hate him.
Stop it. Just stop.
She was surprised when the bus stopped, and the jerky halt caused the bubble of tears to break and slide uneasily down her face.
"My stop." She mumbled, her voice cracking, and causing them both to wince. She got up, and tugged him to her, hugging him.
"Don't go." She whispered in his ear, making sure her tears imprinted in his skin forever.
"Don't stop me." Jess pleaded quietly, gripping her hip, and hair.
"Please." She whimpered, enclosing his face with her hands, and cupping it, forcing him to look her straight into her eyes.
He stared at her, his eyes slowly melting.
"This is what you're leaving." Rory informed him, with a last effort of stopping him, and kissed him. And it burned them, all the heat, and knowledge of what they were feeling now. The love and the growing they were going to do. Flames licked red behind their closed eyes, as they said goodbye in an embrace that lasted shorter than either of them wanted to admit.
This one goes to the one I love.
This one goes out to the one I've left behind.
A simple prop, to occupy my time.
This one goes out to the one I love.
Fire.
Disclaimer-
To the one I love is a song by R.E.M, which is not mine. Neither is Gilmore Girls.