Silver Moon (Slightly Renovated)
A Parody Of Golden Sun
AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT!
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN GOLDEN SUN OR GAMEFAQS OR GAMEFAQS GUIDES BUT I DO OWN IMPORTANT DUDE!
BIG NOTE: When I used the term 'Slightly Renovated' don't think that I just repaired a few things. I went through all the chapters (6-25-06) several times and did numerous things such as fixing grammar, spelling, and capitalization. If you have read this before you may have also noticed parts missing and other bad things, well this fixes that. Everything is all well worth re-reading too, because scenes have been redone and in some cases completely recreated or added. I really feel like going back to my writing work, so be sure to look out there for a chapter four. Another thing to note, Isaac/Mia has been... toned down. They're both still a bit crazy but I gave them better personalities for this story. Isaac is more sarcastic and Mia is more bossy (think Jenna), which is completely unlike them GS-wise, all the better! Things are a little more storyline following as well, or at least, I gave unreasonable reasoning to make the story more sensible (Raise your hand if that doesn't make sense). You'll see when you hear (Or read, you un-imaginative) Ivan's take on the thieves at vault and Kraden bringing the mythril bags... Enjoy!
Oh, one minor thing, has become increasingly more frustrating. Before I could use asterisks for action effects (and tildes for coolness), but now just about all 'story irrelevant' symbols are removed from the story automatically when uploaded. Several humorous (Read: inhumane) deletions commence at random areas due to anything that isn't a letter. After a little research however, I did find that dashes (-) are allowed. Seeing as how it takes three dashes to make an asterisk they're only a third as much fun each (I did the math), blame goes to the site. If you happen to catch anything that looks out of order (Garet: I love food! Eats bunnies and waffles with gusto) I would appreciate it if you could tell me that I missed the 'eats bunnies and waffles with gusto' one way or another.
In summary: -'s on both sides are some type of action, and (parentheses) are thoughts.
Thanks go to the little animated paperclip thing in Microsoft Word for making funny faces at me (and replacing upwards of 400 asterisks, too), and GameFAQs for inspiration!
------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter One
Isaac: Garet this "Camelot" sounds suspicious.
Garet: Um, so?
Isaac: You don't understand.
Garet: Um, so?
Isaac: ...
Garet: Um, so?
Isaac: Okay... Look, an important dude!
-A man comes up the street wearing a white suit and sunglasses-
Garet: Important dude! Important dude! Important dude!
ID: Yes, I'm cool, but we have to start making a game. Lets go!
Somewhere
Isaac: Let's talk about our pay.
ID: Uh... Hey look it's a bunny!
Isaac&Garet: Really? Where!
ID: -Runs away-
Isaac: Damn, he tricked us!
Garet: Oh, man… I was hungry too!
Isaac: Only an idiot would think about food at a time like this.
Garet: Mmm... Bunny stew. Oh, what were you saying Isaac?
Isaac: He fills the requirements, and we have a winner.
Garet: Yeah, I know I'm a winner!
Isaac: Loser...
Preparation
The Man: Welcome Isaac and Garet why don't you introduce yourselves.
Isaac: Hi, I'm Isaac, and--
The Man: That's really nice, but you're taking too much time. Give Garet a chance to talk, also.
Garet: Hi, I'm Garet. They say I'm not the brightest crayon in the box, but so what if I like the color black!
Isaac: Indeed...
The Man: Well, here are two people you will be working with.
Ivan: Hi, I'm Ivan, and I sense an aura of stupidity.
Isaac: Oh, that's just Garet.
Ivan: Figures.
Mia: Hi, I'm Mia... Hey! That Isaac guy is cute. He's mine! -Runs over to Isaac and embraces him… in a death hold-
Isaac: Wha? (Do I know you?)
The Man: I think he's greatly surprised.
Isaac: ...--
The Man: He can't breathe! Let go Mia, he's our best actor!
Ivan: Is that so... -Angry-
Isaac: -Unconscious-
Mia: Uh, I can help! -"CPR"-
The Man: I can't help but notice the "'s.
Ivan: Mia it's not like he drowned, you don't have to do that...
20 minutes later
The Man: Ok, I think that is enough.
Isaac: Save... me.
Garet: Don't kill him?
Mia: Oops, sorry, hehehe.
The Man: On to business; since the prologue is boring we took it out.
Ivan: Who are you anyways?
The Man: The. AUTHOR. Just call me POP.
Isaac: Why?
POP: Short for Plague-Of-Penguin.
Garet: Hahaha that's a stupid name!
POP: Garet, You won't like me when I'm mad!
Garet: Hahaha, yeah right.
POP: ROAR AND A HALF!
Garet: Mommy!
Ivan: Dude! He can yell in all caps!
POP: And in size 700, but that's a different story!
Isaac: Uh, right...-Under table-
Mia: Oh Isaac, where are you?
Isaac: Must -breathe- escape. -breathe- Meet at production...
POP: Right, let's go!
Starting the Game ENJOY!
Director: Okay, all set up, now--action!
Jenna: Hello Garet. I see you are practicing your psynergy.
Garet: Huh, What's that?
Jenna: Forget it. Let's go to Isaac's house.
Garet: Who's Isaac?
Jenna: Shut up.
Garet: Ok! (I can do this!)
Isaac's house
Isaac: Hey guys, I'm up here.
Garet: Why?
Isaac: -grumble- Demon mother -grumble-
Jenna: Let's go to Kraden's house!
Dora: Isaac isn't going anywhere!
Isaac: Why?
Dora: Sure, go ahead!
Jenna: Split personalities?
Isaac: Yep.
Kraden's house
Saturos: Hey! You kids! Where are you going?
Jenna: Let me think. There is what, one place we could possibly be going?
Menardi: I hate sarcastic people!
Garet: Hahaha! You painted yourself. -Points at Saturos and Menardi-
Saturos&Menardi: It's make-up -Both start to cry and run off-
Isaac: That was easy.
Kraden: Hello little kids! Want to hear a story?
Jenna: -Whispers to Isaac- This is, perhaps, the longest part of the game.
Isaac: No, I don't.
Kraden: Too bad!
Jenna: Oh, the horror.
Garet: Is it The Three Bears?
Kraden: You scare me, child. I'm feeling too scared to tell you three a story.
Isaac: Score! -High-fives Jenna-
Kraden: Here, take these mythril bags, you left them at my house yesterday and they just don't go well with the--
Garet: Err…On to Mount Aleph!
Mount Aleph
Monk: Are you trying to sneak up to Sol Sanctum! -Gets out his rifle-
Jenna: Of course not!
Monk: Oh, Okay. -Leaves-
-Garet's little brother runs up to them-
Auron: Can I come?
Isaac: What's the use of a six-year-old girl? Pffft.
Auron: I'm not a girl!
Garet: Yeah you are, sis.
Auron: -Cries and runs away-
Jenna: Let's go to Sol Sanctum!
Isaac: Why?
Kraden: Because we're rebels! -Puts on typical biker attire-
Isaac: Riiiiight...
Sol Sanctum
Kraden: Hmm, why don't we open that chest over there?
Isaac: Brilliant idea...
Jenna: It's a jewel.
Kraden: Put it in that eye socket.
Garet: We know!
Everyone but Garet: You know nothing.
Garet: Ok! Just like usual!
Jenna: We're wasting that shiny gem? Why, we could sell it and live the high life!
Kraden: It's for the glory of Alchemy! -Inserts jewel with fanaticdetermination-
Jenna: Damn you, Alchemy!.. Dibs on the next jewel we find!
Isaac:Whatever, I'm going to have to do these annoyingly easy puzzles while we look for more.
Kraden: There are legends of large, valuable gems in a room nearby called elemental stars... Said to grantgreat power and limitless muffins!
Jenna: Valuable... Gems?
Isaac: Great... Power?
Garet: Limitless... Muffins?
Kraden: Why yes, I do believe that's--
All Three: Say no more!
Ten seconds later in the elemental star room
Isaac: That was quick.
Jenna: After we tied up Kraden we made record time!
Kraden: Mmmph!
Jenna: I will wait here and get caught by those cross-dressers while you get the stars.
Garet: I like stars!
One second later (Give or take a few milliseconds)
Isaac: Hey, there's Jenna and Kraden getting captured as hostages.
Alex: Damn, I wanted you to get them all! By the way, I'm evil!Anyways, give me your elemental stars.
Garet: Here you go -Grin-:)
Isaac: -Sigh-
Alex: Blast! The red one isn't here... I want my refund!
Garet: Ahhhh! Evil Rock!
Alex: Whoops, gotta go! Come Felix, we must ride off!
Felix: Yes, brother... I mean, of course Alex!
Jenna: Hey, aren't you my brother?
Felix: No! I don't know what you're talking about! -Leaves-
Isaac: Right. Let's make this short and just take the mars star. Then we Retreat, hehehe.
Vale
Elder: You two--Isaac and Garet. Do you know the meaning of this?
Isaac: Err... What, sir?
Elder: This rock was complaining to me earlier about someone stealing his elemental star-thingies. Seeing as how you have one of them in your bag, right there...
Isaac: Why, this? This is just a valuable gem... That, I uh, found. On the ground! Yes... Not a star!
Elder: You're right, that can'tbe a star, silly me. Wait!--
Garet: What, dear elder?
Elder: This gem... It is a sign! You must go out and cleanse evil! I mean... Find the culprits who took the rock's gems!
Isaac: What's so great about the rock?
Elder: It's... My pet rock, and I want it to have everything I didn't get as a child -Sob- But anyways, I send you both out--As knights!
Isaac&Garet: Knights?
Elder: Yes... I knight you Sir Garet and Squire Isaac of... The Order of the Silver Moon!
Isaac: Why am I a squire? I'm the leader of the party!
Elder: Alright, fine, you can be a knight too, but Garet is high knight chancellor!
Garet: Yessss! I'm the high knight chancellor! -Beam- Does that mean I lead and plan everything?
Isaac: No Garet, that means your hair reaches the highest...
Elder: Correct, Isaac. That is how it has always worked within the Order, now go, my knights!
About to leave vale
Isaac: Yay! My demon mother isn't here.
Auron: Your mom wanted me to give you these! -Hands over Catch Beeds-
Isaac: Catch Beads? What a useless item. Oh, Uh… thanks little girl.
Auron: -Runs away crying-
Everyone: GOODBYE SIR ISAAC AND SIR GARET!
Isaac: Okay let's leave this place.
Garet: Yeah!
Outside of town
Garet: What now?
Isaac: Well, we're knights, we have to go save people in trouble... Like Jenna, or that peasant being attacked by an angry bear...
Peasant: Help me! -Dies-
Isaac: Ah, tis a vicious cycle!
Garet: Indeed, friend. Onward! -Marches-
POP: Hello guys!
Isaac: Why are you here?
POP: I'm one of the djinni; Flint!
Garet: Cool.
POP: Want to hear my explanation of djinn! (Please say no. Please say no.)
Isaac: No.
POP: Yes!
Isaac: I said no.
POP: I know that you said no.
Garet: What does know mean? -Thinks hard- Let's go to that town with the raining boulders!
Isaac: Sure, Whatever. -Steps forward-
Battle!
Zombie appeared!
Garet: Just like that?
Yes.
Isaac unleashes flint!
Garet: Just like that?
Yes.
POP: Mortal danger!
Zombie: What the hell? You can't use mortal danger?
POP: About that… -Shifty eyes- I killed you anyway, heh.
Zombie fell! 20 experience points 35 gold.
Garet: Just like that?
Yes.
POP/Flint leveled up+4 attack. +5 defense. +18 agility. +2 magic. +9 luck. Now a level 2 Assassin Djinni.
Director: Wait, what?
POP: Let's just say I have my ways...
Garet: Do boulders hurt? -Runs into one-
Isaac: Good job Garet! Now try using it as a blanket!
Vault
Ivan's house
Isaac: Yo, Ivan.
Ivan: Hey guys! I'm joining your party!
Garet: Party? Where?
Ivan: ... (Idiot) Okay, you both have to help me find these thief guys. They stole my wallet, my dignity, and the mayor's pants. Oh, and this mace thing that I found at a dollar store.
Garet: What's dignity? And pants? These words are lunacy! (Whatever that is!)
Isaac: Let's go find those thieves…
Ivan: According to the GameFAQ's guide they are in the upper floor of the inn.
POP: Let's go.
Inn
Thieves: Uh, hello little kids! -They run away-
Garet: Now they are in a secret area on the roof! Am I right?
Ivan: Garet, how did you know?
Garet: Oh, I helped set up the next scene. I'm a good boy!
Secret area on the roof
Ivan: We found you!
Thief Leader: I hate the GameFAQ's guides and that Garet, he's the brains of their operation...
Garet: By order of the almightyOrder of the Silver Moonyou are hereby to be eliminated and other big words…
Isaac: Let's fight!
Thieves: For plot advancement! -Lunge-
Boss Battle
Bandit 1's party appeared!
Ivan: Plasma!
Isaac: Summon Venus!
Thief 1 and 2 fell!
Garet: Attack!
Isaac: You don't have to say "Attack!", Garet
Garet: You're right! Attack.
Ivan: He wasn't talking about the exclamation mark...
Garet: You're right! attack!
Ivan: Or capitalization.
Bandit: Please kill me fast… So I'm happy.
Bandit takes 50 damage. Bandit fell.
Isaac leveled, Ivan leveled, Garet leveled BONUS: Intelligence -30
Garet: Yay, I'm smarter!
Isaac&Ivan: Sure you are Garet.
Ivan: Well, I'll just take my stuff back and ransom the mayor's pants. Then we're off to Imil!
Off to Imil
POP: Isaac, there lies Imil. you have been warned!
Isaac: I always did dislike towns with four letters.
POP: It's because Mia's there.
Isaac: Why don't we... Err, skip this town.
POP: Because we needMia to majesticallywave her hands in front of the Mercury Lighthouse so we can enter, which is where Alex is.
Isaac: Maybe if I hide behind Ivan...
Imil
Mia: Hehehe my prey approaches...
Ivan: This town isn't too bad. Is it Isaac?
Isaac: No, it's accept-- Ahhh help me..! (Damn you Ivan, you're so short! Why did I hide behind you?) -Dragged away by Mia to the Mercury lighthouse-
POP: -Shrugs-
Ivan: Well, let's follow them to the lighthouse!
Garet: Silly! Why would they build a lighthouse in the middle of nowhere?
Ivan: Good point…
Mercury Lighthouse
POP: Let's settle down Mia. Slowly let go of Isaac...
Mia: But I don't want to -Frown-:(
Ivan: -Whispers-
POP: Not a bad idea... I have a proposition for you Mia.
Mia: Hm?
POP: You can keep Isaac if you will take us through the annoyingly easy puzzles.
Mia: Okay!
Isaac: Please, I can't go on with you killing me.
Mia: Will you carry me?
Isaac: ...
POP: Just say yes.
Isaac: Fine!
Mia: Woot!
Isaac: (Well, Garet is a lot worse, I guess I like her...)
POP: Oh wow, romantic devolpement.
Isaac: You know, I can just leave...
POP: Fine, fine, I'll leave you alone.
Top of Mercury Lighthouse
Saturos: Hah! You challenge me?
Garet: It's the painted man again!
Saturos: Fool, Mwahahahaha! -Knocks Mia off tower- Now you don't have a healer!
Mia: Ahhhhhhhhhh!
Isaac: Nooooo! Mia! -Jumps off- (Why the heck did I just do that!)
Garet: WHEEEEEEE -Jumps off-
POP&Ivan: -They shrug and jump off-
Saturos: What about me? -Jumps off-
Groundside
POP: Cool! The lighthouse looks awesome when lit!
Ivan: Definitely! Oh wait, weren't we supposed to prevent that?
POP: Meh, whatever. I'll leave that to Isaac and Garet.
Garet: If the lighthouses around the world weren't lit then all the happy pink ships would crash. :(
Mia: Isaac, you have such fast reflexes… Ohh, and you're so very strong!
Isaac: Uh huh…
POP: Great, Isaac has gone on her side. Our party has practically gone to hell.
Mia: Yeah? So what?
POP: Ivan you're the new party leader. Here's a swift sword and a cool hat!
Garet: Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, and happy pink ships.
Ivan: Make it stop...
POP: There's an obvious solution to this.
Garet: -Stops singing about happy pink ships -
Ivan: Whoa, how'd you do that?
POP: Easy, I knocked him out.
Ivan: Genius.
Isaac: Ouch, my foot hurts...
POP: What do you expect--to survive falling off a giant tower and not be maimed for life?
Isaac: I'm pretty sure Mia never even got scratched. So I'm expecting the impossible lately.
POP: Oh. Let's go head off in a random direction for fun.
Alex: Err... I work for the hospital, yeah. -Takes Saturos away on stretcher-
Tret Tree
Tret: I hate life! I hate people! I hate myself! -Emo cut-
Garet: Bad tree! -Throws water at Tret-
Tret: Yay! Thank you for freeing me from my dark hatred!
Garet: Hey! The tree talks! Can I have presents, Mr. Talking Tree?
Tret: No.
Isaac: Well, uh, let's continue on.
Mogal Woods
POP: Where are we?
Isaac: Somewhere?
POP: Screw it. I'm making my own path -Slashes through the trees to the other side-
Ivan: Much better.
Garet: Look! Another djinni thing!
POP: Finally, someone more intelligent to join us.
Mia: Yeah! I have one called Fizz! I named it!
POP: Yo, Granite
Granite: Hey Flint!
POP: -Whisper- Join Ivan, he's a sissy but generally the only smart one besides Isaac and Mia.
Granite: -Joins Ivan- So… I guess that means Garet is the idiot.
Garet: I'm just that special!
Master Hama
Hama: Greetings, I will now teach Ivan Reveal.
Ivan: Yay!
Mia: Me too!
Hama: Well, I guess I can make an exception… Why would you need it though?
Mia: I have my... good and ethical reasons.
POP: Yeah, I bet I know what those reasons are, heh.
Hama: -Makes many hand motions- There, you now know reveal.
Isaac: Mia, is there really a need to use reveal right now? Why are you staring at me?
POP: MIA! -Uses author powers to take away Mia's reveal-
Ivan: ...I don't think I'll be using Mind Read for a while.
Isaac: Yeah…
Ivan: -Reveal-
Mia: IVAN! Not fair!
Ivan: What? I was just checking to see if Garet had a brain!
Isaac: Does he?
Ivan: Yeah, but he could probably be outsmarted by a fly.
Garet: -Trying to swat a fly with his hands, failing miserably- Stupid fly...
Lamakan Desert
Isaac: Man, is it hot!
Ivan: Why didn't anyone bring water?
POP: Planning ahead is for losers!
10 seconds later
Ivan: The heat is getting to my head!
Mia: My clothes are getting all sweaty. -Takes off robe-
Ivan: Uh!
POP: Um!
Garet Oh!
Isaac: Relax. She has at least three robes on.
Ivan: Heh, you would know Isaac, because-
Isaac: Be quiet! This is rated "E" for Everyone… and Excellent story.
Ivan: Whatever you say, Isaac.
POP: Please, just find us water.
Ivan: Where should I look?
Garet: Is there water around those rocks and vegetation, by any chance?
Isaac: (Did he just think of a good idea? Is he getting smart?)
Ivan: -Reveal- No, it's a chest with an axe in it. Idiot.
Isaac: (Nah...)
Mia: Let's check that pile of rocks over there!
Ivan: Every step saps my strength...
Mia: Ewww... this robe is sweaty too. -Throws away-
Ivan: Must find water soon...
POP: Very soon! -Eyes Mia-
Garet: Isaac, aren't you worried?
Isaac: Not exactly.
POP: How could you not be...
Ivan: Yes! It's a pool of water!
Water!
Ivan: This one even has a water slide! Whee!
Mia: Oh no, my robe is soaking wet now...
Garet!
POP!
Ivan: I'm too young!
Isaac: What are you guys worried about?
Garet: M-Mia.
Isaac: Relax.
POP: Easy for you to say! you-
Isaac: "E" is short for Everyone and Execution of people I don't like. Got that?
Mia: -Throws off last robe-
Garet: -Covers eyes-
POP: -Ditto-
Ivan: -Reveal-
Garet: Ivan! Follow the leader!
Ivan: Sorry. -Covers eyes-
Isaac: Heh?
POP: Isaac...
Isaac: Yeah? -Runs off-
Ivan: -Peeks- Where are Isaac and Mia?
POP: Safe to open eyes?
Ivan: Yes.
Garet: Hm!
Ivan: Where..?
POP: Uh oh...
Ivan: He was just by that sand waterfall…
Garet: Maybe they went on without us. Let's go!
POP: (I am going to have to wipe possible images off my mind.)
Ivan: Wait! There they are!
Isaac: Did you really think that...
Ivan: -Mind Reads then sends the information to POP-
POP: I kind of do, now.
Isaac: So I kissed her a couple times, but she has clothes on under the robes!
Garet: Oh.
POP: That's.
Ivan: A relief.
To Continue Next Chapter
-----------------------------------------------------------------
POP: So how did you like part one?
Flint: It was long!
POP: REALLY!
Flint: Yep.
POP: Wow, I've never willfully wrote anything longer than four pages before this.
Flint: He's not kidding either...
POP: Be quiet Muse #4
Zephyr: Yeah, really.
POP: Just look at the length of my story!
Fever: Well these little "Muse Talks" that you make up in your head only make it longer.
POP: You're a pain.
Fever: Heh yeah, I hope you get a fever from me.
Sleet: R&R!
Zephyr: Or else!
Author Note: I'll consider flames only if they have good reasoning or are meant to be jokes. Review if you can, it fills me up with joy to get reviews! Hola to the people at GameFAQs who get some credit for inspiring me with a certain topic. If you would like, you can ask to be put into the story as a Djinn when you review, though I can't promise any storyline significance (Wait, there's a storyline?)