He stood idly in the corner of the festivities, watching the jovial couple. It tore in the chest area of his body, where his heart would be- if he still had one. He saw his best friend lean down and whisper something in the glowing bride's ear, tucking a lock of fiery, red hair behind it as he did so. She threw her head back and laughed heartily.
He felt a sting on his left arm and reached to grab it, hoping that it would dull the pain. He walked out the door and down the green carpeted hallway. There were other portraits of famous wizards moving along with him, urging him to return to the festivities, he ignored them. He opened the door to the outside and the cold November wind hit him like a slap in the face. Then he rolled up the sleeve of his white dress shirt and saw the angry black marking on his forearm. It pertained of a skull and a serpent coming out of its mouth… the Dark Mark.
The pain faded and he rolled back down the sleeve and buttoned it. He walked back to the room and slipped in unnoticed. One of his best friends, Sirius Black, came up to him and slapped him on the back.
"Did 'ja ever tink that we'dd see the day where good 'ol Prongsie got hitcheddd?" his words were slurred by the unsurpassable amount of firewhiskey he had absorbed that night.
Peter stayed silent and Sirius seemed to take that as a 'no.' "Me neither! It seems like yestrdayy that we were in 'Ogwarts, dunnit?"
Remus came up behind Sirius and asked him quite calmly, "How many drinks have you had tonight, Padfoot?"
"Uhh… two… plus four… plus 'nother two…" Sirius said, looking like thinking back that far was seriously straining his brain.
"Maybe you should take it easy for the rest of the night." Remus offered softly.
"Nu- uh! MARAUDERS LIVE FOH-EVAH! I CAN PARRRRTTAH FOH-EVAH!!!" He declared loudly to the entire room. James looked over and shook his head, smiling.
He walked over still beaming, Peter noticed with another ache in his chest the way that Lily's eyes followed him. "Padfoot, mate, I reckon you're cut off for the night."
"JAMES!!! Don't ruin my funnn! I can hold my liquor! Liquor… liq- her. Lick- her. HAHA! Liquor sounds like 'lick- her!' HAHA! I'm so punny! AHAHAHA! PUNNY!" Sirius said lapping into a fit of laughter at himself.
James shook his head at Sirius and said to his friend who had not been very talkative the entire night, "Peter, you want to apparate him home? I reckon he'd splinch himself in this state." Peter nodded and grabbed onto Sirius' arm. Any excuse to get himself out of the sickeningly sweet and happy atmosphere. He twisted away, firmly keeping a hold on his "friend's" flailing arm.
"Do you reckon Peters been a bit…" Lupin said still looking at the spot where half of the infamous Marauders had just vanished.
"Distant? Yeah? Maybe a bit… He's been like that since graduation…"
James looked a bit down. Lupin hastily change the subject, he didn't want his friend to be bummed on his wedding day. They already had enough doom and gloom in the world with the war raging. "Don't worry about it tonight mate. You got Lily Evans waiting for you!"
"Lily Potter." James corrected and beamed at his best friend then returned to his new wife.
Dear Lily,
I've been wanting to give you this letter for a long time. You have always been so kind to me. I think… I know that I have fallen in love with you. I know it's true. Every time you smile at me… laugh at a joke, or even just spare me a glance with your penetrating emerald eyes, my heart soars. I can't be upset or sad and be around you at the same time. I would never leave you. I would give you anything you want and more. I know this is short, but it has said everything I had ever wanted to say to you.
Love,
Peter
Lily had always been the nicest to him out of all the Marauders. She loathed James. She thought Sirius was no better. She liked Remus, but thought he needed to exercise more control over his friends, seeing how he was a prefect. She stuck up for Peter whenever his friends ragged on him, and
A week later, Peter was sitting in his dormitory alone, when an owl tapped on a window pane. He immediately sprung off of his four poster bed and opened it up. The owl landed on his bureau and held its leg up for a note to be untied.
For the past week Lily Evans had been defiantly ignoring Peter. He'd try to catch her on her own, but she walked quickly away every time.
He took a long breath and pulled off the note. He then watched the owl fly off and into the night.
Dear Peter,
First off, let me say that I am very flattered. I am however, very sorry. I see you as a friend Peter, a best friend. That's all that I ever see us being. You are a great guy Peter… you're just not my guy. You'll meet a girl that will love you the way you deserve to be loved. That's not me. Someone else already has my heart Peter… I'm really sorry again. I hope we can still be friends.
Sincerely,
Lily Evans
His heart had broken with that letter. He had gone up to her the next day and asked her to not tell James. She agreed and apologized again. He had retreated back into his boring, lack luster life; as the best friend of legends; the obscure, and forgotten Marauder.
A week later, Lily was James Potter's girlfriend.
It pained him to no end and kept him up at night. It wasn't fair. James Potter got everything he wanted… he had a perfect life. James had stolen the one thing Peter had ever really wanted… and the worst part was, he didn't even know it.
The last four months of school had become a blur. He spent less and less time with his friends… they were always with Lily. He couldn't stand the sight of James' sweet, subtle notions that he did to Lily when he thought no one else was looking. He couldn't stand the look of pure love Lily's eyes portrayed when ever James was present. He couldn't stand the thought of Lily with another man… let alone his best friend. And, he had to listen to James go on and on about how amazing Lily was. He had to act HAPPY when she said yes to James.
The line from her letter played over and over in his mind… 'someone else already has my heart.' And he knew who it was.
So, he retreated to the only people that accepted him, and were the farthest from his friends that he knew… the Slytherins. They slowly, but surely led him down the dark path where there was no turning back.
The night before his Hogwarts graduation, a group of seventh year Slytherins led him to Hogsmeade and he apparated with them to meet his new Lord for the first time.
He was branded with the Dark Mark that night. He was also given a mission. He was the only one that was able to do it. To kill Lily Evans and James Potter- though, not directly. Even though he was blinded by his desire for revenge, fueled by jealousy, hurt, and rage, he knew that all the information he passed along to the Dark Lord would eminently lead to their deaths.
Now, Peter deposited of his inebriated friend and apparated back to his own flat. No one would miss him.
A year and two months later, Lily found out she was pregnant with a child. Everyone was ecstatic. It made Peter sick. In the last year, more than anything else, Voldemort had embellished his own morals and virtues among Peter. He could no longer love. He knew not evil, but power and those who are too weak to seek it. James and Lily Potter, and undoubtedly their unborn child fell under that category… the fools who love. Love got you no where… Peter knew that from his own personal experience. But power… power got you everything.
The cold winter months faded into spring. Pettigrew went on pretending to be immensely happy for the glowing couple. He hung out with his friends as he always did... If he had developed any talents… they were acting and lying. He got a part time job as a shop assistant at Borgin and Burkes… Voldemort seemed particularly keen on the idea of him working there, so he did.
The month before Lily and James' baby was born, the Dark Lord got very important news… news of a prophecy. He knew it was unwise to attack either families with Dumbledore so close to them.
On July 31st, Harry James Potter was born. He looked, even as an infant, like his father, but had the piercing eyes of Lily Evans. Peter never looked the child directly in the eyes… it burned holes into his chest… once again, around the place of where a heart should be in a normal human being. Another child was born that night, Neville Longbottom.
James and Lily got the news of the prophecy that August, only weeks after their child was born. They gathered their closest friends, the Marauders and the Longbottoms and told them of what it contained. They deduced, with the help of Dumbledore, that their lives or the Longbottoms lives and both of the couple's children could be at stake. Both of the couples decided to get secret keepers.
The Longbottoms chose Lily Potter. The Potters chose Sirius Black.
The Dark Lord did not like this arrangement. For one, Peter now knew what none others of his Death Eaters knew (except the most faithful, Severus Snape)…the prophecy. Secondly, he could not find the Potters if he wanted to, he knew Sirius was a blood traitor and a fool that loved… he would sacrifice himself for his friends. So, he trained with Peter to be able to cast a very well placed and undetectable Imperius curse.
So, the day before the Fidelius charm was to be performed by Dumbledore, Peter went to Sirius' house when he was alone, and cast the curse. Peter made Sirius go and tell James that he needed to change the secret keeper to him. James agreed after persuasion, and Peter was the new secret keeper. He was not so weak and powerless now, was he?
The Dark Lord was very pleased. Though the prophecy could pertain to two children, he knew, for some gut–wrenching reason, it was the Potter child. If it was not, he could go after the Longbottom boy, and murder him for good measure… maybe the whole family, after Lily Potter, the secret keeper, was dead.
Voldemort knew he had to time the move of his attack very carefully. He wanted to lull them into a false sense of security. He wanted to have the Potters guard down completely… he waited just over a year and decided he could wait no longer. On October 31st 1981, he proceeded to the Potter's house.
He broke in and killed James with no problem… he wasn't even carrying his wand, the careless fool. Lily was putting up a fight. Despite how well his death eaters hide themselves, he knew that two of his most faithful followers were in love with the mud-blood Lily Potter. She was an excellent witch, and a prided personality with vivaciousness and spunk. She would have made an amazing death eater… He gave her an ultimatum, her life or her child's. He never really expected her to save herself… but he thought he would try anyway.
He never really expected for his own curse to rebound, either. Instantaneously, Voldemort was crushed.
Minutes later, Peter Pettigrew appeared at the scene… he needed to see it for himself…
He got to the house and it was in total shambles, still smoking. He heard in the distance a baby's cries, he dismissed them as a next- door neighbor's child. He walked slowly and surely up to the black, iron gate of the destroyed house and whispered ten words, hoping somehow, somewhere Lily Potter could hear him…
"That's what you get when you let your heart win."