Under Suspicion
Part I
The elevator doors slid open and Tim hurried out onto the squad room floor. In his rush for progress he just narrowly missed slamming into Agent Henderson, a enormous tree trunk of a man, as the other agent turned out of the pod of desks nearest the elevator. A last minute weave saved Tim from what would have been a rather unpleasant impact. However, his diversionary move caused him to nearly lose his grip on the armfuls of stuff he was carrying; a laptop, four books to return to Abby, a thick folder of printed out research he had done on some new computer technologies, and a small potted plant that Palmer had asked him to look after while his place was being fumigated. Not to mention that his backpack had slipped down from where it had been slung over one shoulder. He had no free hand to fix it with so the pack hung heavily from the area of his elbow.
"Almost there!" he whispered to himself as he rounded the corner into the team's pod of desks. If he had to continue to try balancing everything in his arms too much longer it was going to end up all over the floor.
"And how is this fine day finding you Tim?" Tony asked brightly as the junior agent breezed by his desk. Tim responded while still in motion in the direction of his own workstation.
"Not good. My toilet overflowed right as I was about to head out the door. Then when I finally got that under control and got out of there I ended up stuck in traffic because people were rubbernecking at an accident. After all that I decided I really needed some coffee for sure, but when I went to see if I had any cash I discovered that I forgot my wallet. Now I'm late and have no coffee. So really not a very good start."
"I'm very sorry to hear that. Is there anything that I can do?" Tony inquired.
"Not that I can think of but thanks for asking. I just need to catch up here a little."
Tim scrambled to set down the collection of items he was carrying onto the desk and then turned on his computers to get them up and running before the boss showed up. It was not until he was forced to stop and wait for the log in screen on his monitor to appear that Tim stopped moving long enough for the realization to click into place inside his mind about what had just occurred. Something was off. Had DiNozzo just been nice to him? He twisted his body slowly to the left, an apprehensive stiffness to his posture, and looked over to where Tony sat at his desk.
The senior agent was typing diligently away on his keyboard. Every so often he would consult his notes by glancing down at the folder that lay open beside his mouse pad. Then his gaze would return promptly to the monitor.
Something was missing. There was no smirked expression. No mischievous glint in the agent's eyes. Normally when Tim arrived late and with a long list of annoying reasons why Tony gave him a seriously hard time. But today Tony was conscientiously working away at his reports.
Which was another thing! Usually by this time of the morning there was at least one computer or cell phone game underway. Tim leaned back slightly in his chair and strained to see the names of the programs on Tony's computer taskbar. Perhaps he had minimized the game. But the only items open were work related ones. This prompted Tim to abruptly straighten up in his seat and do a frantic visual search around the squad room. Was Gibbs lurking somewhere, watching them? That would certainly explain DiNozzo's bizarre behavior. But as far as it was possible to tell the team leader did not appear to be observing them from afar.
"Tony?" he asked and shifted his gaze back to his colleague's desk.
"Yes Tim!" the senior agent responded without looking away from his apparently very captivating work.
"Are you feeling alright?" Tim questioned which caused Tony to swivel in his chair and face him.
"Actually I'm doing well. I got a run in early this morning. Felt so good afterward that I decided to come in and do a little paperwork," the senior agent stated pleasantly.
"When did…you ge…get here?" Tim stuttered out, a slight nervousness fragmenting the question. This was so odd that it was making him antsy.
"About two hours ago," Tony replied casually after a quick glance at his watch. Tim did the math inside his head and realized that meant the senior field agent had arrived just after six in the morning.
"You're sure you're feeling okay?" he inquired again. This time with a heightened tension to his tone.
"Quite well I assure you. Are you sure you're feeling alright Tim? You seem a little anxious."
"Anxious? I…." Tim started to answer, but halfway through he decided perhaps he should answer carefully since Tony loved to latch on to any opportunity to torment.
"No. I'm not anxious at all. Just…checking."
"You're a good team player Tim! I'll be sure to remind the boss of that before your next performance review."
"You will?" Tim tossed out. His voice riddled with confusion and disbelief.
This conversation was just way too….civilized. Something was seriously wrong.
"Of course I will. Credit where credit is due!" Tony responded and swiveled back to his work.
Tim sat frozen at his own desk and reviewed the situation in his head.
Tony had greeted him warmly and inquired how he was doing. The tone had been genuinely interested and was devoid of any hint of mischief or sarcasm. And Tony had empathized? Next Tony was working and not even on anything of urgency. When Tim had taken a peek at Tony's screen he had recognized the case as one so ancient it was practically glacially thick and frigidly cold at this point.
Also it needed to be noted that Tony had been working, well, on actual work and as far as Tim could tell Gibbs was nowhere in sight. There were no computer games, messaging, or internet surfing underway on the senior agent's computer.
It was like some weird alternate universe where DiNozzo was …..normal?
"I'll be back in a little while!" Tony called back over his shoulder as he got up from his desk and headed for the elevator. Tim watched him depart and then looked around the empty pod for a moment, thoroughly dazed. His gaze fell on Tony's desk. He couldn't resist the temptation to check things out. DiNozzo had to be playing some kind of prank on him. So Tim slipped out of his own chair and into his teammate's. Maybe he could figure out just what Tony had planned before he returned.
It was then that he noticed something else odd. Tim swiveled slowly around in the chair, surveying Tony's cubicle as he passed by during his three sixty turn. He arrived back facing the computer monitor even more confused than when he had set out.
Tony's cubicle was organized, squeaky clean, and completely toy free. In particular, the resident American Pie coffee mug and Mighty Mouse stapler were absent. Tim reached down and slowly pulled open Tony's bottom desk drawer, almost leery of what he might be exposed to by daring to look inside. A pile of magazines was there as there always was, but the one on top did not have what he expected to see on the cover. Instead of "big guns" there was, well, big guns - Remington and Ruger rifles to be exact according the bold print across the cover. Tim bent down and scooped up the entire stack. He sifted through them glancing at each one and even checking the inside of a few at random. Every single magazine was law enforcement related ranging from Guns & Weapons For Law Enforcement to Law Enforcement Technology to Police Chief to the Journal Of Forensic Psychology. The last one actually had a mailing label addressing it to Ducky but its cover was adorned with a post it note that read Anthony, here's our latest issue. Enjoy!
Tim dropped the magazines back in and slammed the drawer closed on them as if they had been on fire. He then opened and searched all the other drawers, finding nothing more than files and office supplies. It was like the desk belonged to someone else. Tony always had childish things tucked away in his desk. After he had checked the final drawer he then did another slow turn around in the chair, scrutinizing the cubicle from every angle. On this pass he noted the a few other odd things such as a neatly written To Do List and a reminder note about volunteer shifts at a community center.
Tim couldn't help but try to process this all by speaking out aloud to himself.
"Oh god! Tony's quitting or transferring or lost his mind or going postal…maybe he's…dying! Or maybe I'm dying and he somehow found out before me and he's being nice to me because of it and it's affected him so much he changed his ways. Maybe some sort of denial or something. Oh! Oh boy! This is so not good!"
The rant was so out of control it literally propelled Tim out of the chair. He ended up nearly tripping over his own feet, torn as to where he needed to go and how to handle this all. Managing finally to curb his own forward momentum he stopped dead in the center of the team's pod of desks. He frantically turned in a circle, visually searching for something although he was not sure what. An answer? Some clue as to what the hell was going on?
Then is struck him.
"Abby! Abby will know!" he exclaimed and raced out of the squad room. He took the stairs, nearly leaving skid marks on them in his wake.
"Abby! You have to help me!" he cried out to her as soon as his feet crossed over the threshold into her lab.
"McGee! What's wrong? How can I help? Whoa! Brakes McGee!" she tossed out in rapid fire as Tim slid to a stop mere inches from her body.
"Near collision McGee!"
"Sorry Abby! I need you to help me figure out what Tony is up to."
"What do you mean what he is up to?"
"He is acting super strange!"
"Strange? Like how strange? That didn't come out right. I mean in what way strange not to what extent strange. Because there's a difference ya know!"
"Abby he's listening and responding politely. He's working without childish commentary on an old case and Gibbs isn't even around. His desk doesn't have a single inappropriate object in it. Abby, he's been here since six am! Something is wrong. He has to be up to something!"
"I don't understand. Tony is always a good listener. As far as his manners go I would give him a solid eight on a scale of one to ten. And why would there be inappropriate things in his desk?"
"Tony? Our Tony?"
"Are you feeling alright, Tim?"
"I'm fine. It's Tony who isn't right!"
"I don't know what to tell you McGee. He was down here twice already this morning and he seemed perfectly normal to me."
"Think Abby! He went out for a few minutes so I have to figure this out before he comes back so I cut him off at the pass."
"I'm sorry but I can't think of anything. I wish I could be more help. You look downright desperate. Does someone need a hug?" Abby offered and opened her arms in ready to provide a bear sized embrace.
"No Abby. I don't need a hug. I need that super incredible brain of yours to help me figure this out. Please Abby! This is my chance to catch DiNozzo red handed pranking me."
"Well you did say the magic word…."
"And I'll say it again. Please Abby!"
"And you were really sweet to think of my super fantastic brain."
"Super incredible brain," McGee repeated adding a sweet smile at the end.
"You got me! Let's put our heads together."
Tim shared with Abby all the evidence he had observed regarding Tony's behavior and the state of his desk and anything else that he could think of that might hold the key to unlocking this mystery. The duo even created a little logic program on the computer to see if that would help. But after just a short while they were completely out of ideas and the only viable theory that they had both agreed upon which explained Tony's super diligent behavior was that perhaps the Director was pressuring him. But even that they decided was slim at best. As they wound down their brainstorming Tim got the distinct feeling that Abby did not really find Tony's behavior all that out of the ordinary or unnerving. He thanked her profusely anyway for trying to help even if she seemed to just be humoring him.
"I really appreciate your trying to help!" he told her for the fifth time.
"Not a problem McGee. I promise next time Tony comes down here I'll make sure he checks out as one hundred percent normal A-okay."
"That would be great! Report back ASAP, okay? Promise?"
"Cross my heart! And next time you come down I'll be frisking you for Caf Pows and I better find at least one, Mister!"
"Deal!" Tim replied and departed the lab.
On his way back to the bull pen the answer occurred to Tim. It hit him like a ton of bricks falling out of the sky and landing on his head and it halted him in mid stride. Abby was in on it! Whatever DiNozzo was up to he had charmed Abby's help out of her. That bastard! That set him back in motion on his return trip to the squad room.
As Tim made his way back to his desk from the elevator he noticed Tony had returned and was back at work. Tim eyed him warily as he passed by and then settled in at his own desk. As he turned to face his computer monitor he was stopped halfway by what he noticed was now sitting in the center of his desk; a large coffee cup and a paper bag. Tim reacted to their presence there as if they might be wired to explode. He scooted his chair back a few feet from the desk and gave them a suspicious sideways stare.
"Tony did you leave these here?" he asked nervously. The senior field agent glanced over, making eye contact, and then looked back to his work as he responded verbally.
"Yes. I went for coffee at the café. You said you needed some so I got your usual. I also got one of those bagel breakfast sandwich thingies you seem to enjoy. They were out of your usual bagel favorite so I got plain. Hope that's alright?"
Either one of them really was dying or this was a prank! DiNozzo must have done something to the coffee or the food. Keeping Tony within his left peripheral vision so that he could watch for any sign of a smirk or another tell McGee hesitantly rolled his chair a bit closer and reached for the coffee cup. He lifted it up off the surface of the desk practically in slow motion. Worried that maybe the bottom of the cup had been sabotaged to fall out which would result in coffee everywhere especially all over him. It would not be the first time.
When the action resulted in nothing of a disastrous nature he decided he better inspect the lid to make sure that it was not faulty in any way that might cause a similar result as what would have occurred had his first suspicion panned out. Basically coffee everywhere that was. He pulled the lid off which was tougher than he suspected it might be since a loose lid tactic would have been very juvenile and, therefore, very Tony. He turned the plastic cover around in his fingertips searching its surface for defects. He found none. Next he peered skeptically into the coffee itself. The liquid appeared to be the proper color and consistency. And it smelled great! At this point he really wanted to drink it but his intellect was screaming at him not to do it. This time he was on to Tony. He paused for a moment, subtly watching his teammate with his peripheral vision, and waiting for any body language characteristic or facial expression detail that would alert him that he had hit upon where the prank was hidden.
"I apologize if I didn't get the coffee quite right!" Tony's voice cut into his thoughts. Tim nearly jumped out of his chair as his teammate's voice disturbed the quiet of their pod. The coffee sloshed in the cup but miraculously all of it stayed below the rim. Tim put the lid back on, set it on the desk, and finally replied.
"I'll pay you back tomorrow!" he offered. He had been so caught off guard by Tony suddenly speaking it was the only thing that had come to his mind to say. He turned and looked over at Tony and the senior agent gave a shake of his head.
"Don't worry about it! Sounds like you had a rough morning. It's on me!" Tony commented and returned to his reports. Tim squinted at him, scrunching up his forehead and nose in utter confusion. Who the hell are you? And what have you done with Tony DiNozzo? Finally after a long deer in the headlight moment he turned back to face forward and almost jumped out of his seat again. Gibbs was looming on the other side of the desk and he was reaching for Tim's coffee. That happened occasionally when Gibbs ran out and was desperate for a little fix until he could get a refill. He would utilize the team's coffees, taking a little off the top of each of theirs.
"Boss! Tony gave me that you might want to…" Tim cried out and snatched the coffee off the desk before Gibbs' hand made it there.
"I might want to what McGee?" the team leader growled.
"Have it tested thoroughly before drinking it...er…Boss," he suggested and braced for the backlash.
"Why would I need to do that?" Gibbs asked all grumpiness and no patience.
"Well, you know because Tony gave it to me and he likes to humiliate me by having me spill stuff on myself or end up with a green tongue or something like that," he stated meekly. Every potential outcome of this encounter was an unpleasant one.
"DiNozzo would never do that, would you?" Gibbs responded, turning to his senior field agent and awaiting the reply.
"Seems like that would be rather unprofessional behavior, Boss," Tony stated calmly.
"Yes it would DiNozzo. And if you did do something like that what would I do to you?"
"Slap me in the back of the head." To this Tim had to jump in and say something.
"But Boss you slap him in the back of the head all the time."
"Excuse me? I have never slapped anyone on my team. Yet! But you might be the first McGee if you don't give me that coffee cup!"
"But Boss…"
"Now! McGee!" Gibbs snapped out in that tone that told you if you said one more word he might remove your voice box for you free of charge.
Tim stuck the hand holding the cup of coffee out in front of him at arm's length and winced when the team lead ripped it from his grasp. Horrified he watched as Gibbs removed the lid of Tim's coffee and then from his own empty cup then poured some of it between the two.
Tim cringed as he watched his boss take a long swig from the coffee. If something was wrong with the beverage this was going to end very badly for Tim.
"Not as good as a straight black but it'll do!" the team lead commented, replaced the lids on both coffees, and held Tim's cup out for him to take back.
"It's not going to bite McGee," Gibbs stated calmly when Tim didn't reach for it.
"Right. Of course Boss!" he managed and took the cup from the other man. Gibbs went to his desk and picked up the telephone to make a call. Tim watched him as he talked on the phone and sipped the coffee. After he had hung up the older agent downed the remainder of the beverage and tossed the empty cup into his trash can before digging into work on some files. Tim glanced longingly at the coffee in his hand and then back up to his boss. Nothing had happened to him after drinking the coffee so maybe it was okay. Maybe it had not been the coffee after all. Maybe it was the sandwich!
Tim took a drink from the coffee and savored it for a moment before turning his attention to the paper bag sitting on his desk. He opened it and peered inside. It wasn't booby trapped as far as he could tell so he reached in and pulled out the sandwich which was wrapped in aluminum foil.
It was then that an idea occurred to him. If DiNozzo's prank was the sandwich then it would explain why Tony had not jumped in and found some way to keep Gibbs from drinking the coffee. But he would have to intercede if it was the sandwich.
"Hey boss! Are you hungry? You are welcomed to half my breakfast sandwich!" Tim called over, making sure his voice was loud and clear enough that Tony had no way not to hear and understand it completely. But Tony did not react immediately. Tim watched him in his peripheral vision and his teammate was still fixated on his computer monitor. Their team leader reacted though. With a throwing gesture of the hand Gibbs accepted and indicated for Tim to toss it on over to him. Slowly McGee went about unwrapping the sandwich, separating the two halves, placing one on a napkin on top of his desk, and then securely wrapping the other back in the aluminum foil. He had hoped this elongated process would have been the window in which Tony would have jumped in to find some way to stop Gibbs from eating the sandwich.
"Toss it over McGee!" Gibbs instructed, his patience waning, and Tim was left with only one option. He tossed the package into the air in the direction of the opposite desk. Gibbs snatched it out of mid air with ease and Tony didn't so much as clear his throat.
Tim sat back in his seat. He was thoroughly confused. If it hadn't been the coffee or the sandwich what was it? He looked over to his boss and watched as the man tore open and devoured the meal. And nothing happened.
"Were you planning on working today McGee?" Gibbs grumbled in his direction.
"Yes Boss! Of course Boss!" Tim instantly replied. He straightened up in his seat and turned to face his computer monitor. Simply clicking on the first program on his desktop Tim pretended to work, a few mouse clicks here and few taps on the keyboard there was enough to uphold appearances. He sipped on the coffee hoping the caffeine would help him figure this out. He was determined that he was going to catch Tony red handed in whatever this was he had plotted. It was going to be fantastic!
A long stretch of time passed in this manner. The pod remained silent spare the sounds of mouse clicking and keyboard tapping. McGee lost track of how long exactly because he got caught in the endless maze of his mind as it worked to devise a plan to unhinge Tony's plot.
"Hey boss!" Tony's voice rang out across the group of desks in the pod. Tim glanced over at the senior field agent. He was sitting up nice and straight in his seat, feet planted squarely on the floor, hands neatly clasped in front of him on the desk, and a pleasant looking expression on his face.
"Yeah DiNozzo! What?"
"Okay if I take an early lunch?"
"I'll go with you. I need real coffee," Gibbs responded and stood up. Tony did the same, closing out of his computer, and tucking his work folder back into its place in a drawer.
"Ready?" Gibbs asked moving to the aisle.
"All set!" the senior agent replied and took just a second to make sure his very expensive and very wrinkle free suit was buttoned in front.
"Tim can we bring you anything? Or would you perhaps like to come with us?" Tony asked.
"Oh…umm….no…thanks!" Tim sputtered out surprised. Usually all he got was threats, taunts, and teasing before Tony went to lunch.
"Alright, well, you change your mind you have my cell number!" Tony tossed back as he and Gibbs headed for the elevator.
"Hey wait!" he called after them. Both men about faced and looked across to him.
"Where's Ziva? Shouldn't she be here by now?"
"Don't you remember she has that appointment with personnel this morning about updating her paperwork because of her change in citizenship? Very proud day don't you agree?" Tony reminded him.
"Oh right! I do remember her saying something about that!" he replied. He felt a bit foolish. Ziva had mentioned it and he had totally forgotten. The two more senior agents disappeared into the elevator after only a brief wait in front of it. With their departure Tim let out a big exhale and allowed himself to slouch down into the chair. He decided that maybe if he relaxed, cleared his mind, and then refocused he could figure this out. Leaning his head back so it rested on the top of the chair he closed his heavy eyelids and breathed. It seemed to be working. All the static in his mind was fading away and being replaced with something deeper. This might work!
"How could you do that? That was mean! Fix it right now!" a voice demanded out of nowhere. Where did they come from? Didn't hear anyone walk up to the desk? Were they talking to him?
"That was a very insensitive thing to do! Fix it! Then apologize!" the voice continued as he opened his eyes to investigate. He discovered his eyelids were rather hefty and he only managed to pry them open about halfway. And all the rest of his body wanted to do was let out a big yawn. The halfway open eyes were enough to determine that it was Abby who had been speaking, but she wasn't speaking to him. She stood in the center of their pod and her attention was focused off to his left. Since she was not talking to him Tim decided to go ahead with that yawn and to follow it up with a big stretch. He must have fallen asleep at his desk. That would explain why he had not known Abby had arrived. His groggy mind suddenly clicked into gear and he realized there must be someone else there if Abby was not speaking to him. He shifted in his seat and cleared his throat.
"See what you did now! You woke him up!" Abby stated angrily to the person off to his left. Still fighting grogginess Tim lethargically rolled his head against the back of the chair and looked to his left. Tony was seated there and suddenly Tim was a lot more awake. Tony was not just back from lunch he was …back. DiNozzo, dressed in faded jeans and a rather wrinkly and disheveled shirt, was reclined as far back in his seat as the chair would allow with his boot clad feet propped up on his desk. Instead of looking at Abby who was speaking to him he was looking downward and flipping through what appeared to be an issue of GSM magazine.
Wait! Tony had been wearing a suit not a minute ago and now he was dressed like a frat boy who had just rolled out bed at the crack of noon.
Oh no! He had actually fallen asleep.
Tim's gaze darted from Tony to the state of his desk. The Might Mouse stapler had returned and the desk was by no means neat and tidy. Papers, food wrappers, and other items were strewn across the top of it. Next he checked the computer screen. Internet Explorer was open with the You Tube home page displayed on the screen currently.
Tim blew out a breath.
It all made sense now. It had been dream.
"It's about time! We don't pay him to fall asleep and drool all over his shirt collar! Time to wake up McSnores!" Tony threw over in Tim's direction.
"Maybe not but that doesn't excuse what you did to him!" Abby retorted sternly.
"What? What did he do to me? Did he do something to me while I was sleeping?" Tim cried out and shot up out of his seat and spun around as if that would help him figure out what she was talking about. What had Tony done?
It was the rustling noise that seemed to arrive every time Tim moved and then ceased every time he stopped that caught his attention. He spun a little and the rustle sound came and then he stopped and it stopped with him.
He was still a bit groggy but he was awake just barely enough to notice that he had an audience. People passing by in the aisle stared at him as they walked by the team's area. Then the stare would turn into amusement and was almost always followed with a chuckle.
Finally it occurred to Tim to look down and it was then that he discovered the source of his rustling and the stares. He had been post it noted while he slept. His entire front from head to toe was covered with a variety of differently sized and colored post it notes. He looked like some kind of living bulletin board. There had to be fifty or sixty of the sticky notes plastered to his body. Noticing some of them had writing on them he grabbed on of these from his shirt sleeve. It read I'm a Snow Elf and proud of it. He tossed that one of aside and snatched up another with writing from his right leg. This one read 2010 Winner of World's Biggest Dork Award.
He tossed that one aside too. It floated to the floor while Tim repeated this sequence of note grabbing, reading, and discarding several more times. All the while his face shifting up along a spectrum of hues beginning with his normal pale white until it was a fire engine red.
Tony's snickering finally stopped him from going for another note. Fuming he glared over at DiNozzo who only reacted with a pointed finger towards the top of Tim's head and a very hearty entertained laugh.
Tim reached a hand up to the top of his head, absolutely dreading what he might find there. He grasped the item and removed it. Bringing it down to inspect he saw it was a pirate hat constructed out of newspaper - the Sunday funnies page to be exact.
"DiNozzo! I am going to kill you!" he declared while crushing the pirate hat into a tiny compacted wad of paper inside his fist. But Tony only reacted by letting out an amused doubting chuckle and flipping to the next page in his magazine.
"Do you hear me? You are a dead man!" Tim continued and started to lunge for the senior field agent.
"Tim! No Tim! Stop!" Abby cried out and threw herself between the two of them.
"What Abby?" McGee snapped irritatedly.
"Let's just calm down a minute. Breathe. Cleanse your system of negativity."
"None of that will save DiNozzo from what I am going to do to him!"
"Do it for me. Please Tim!"
"Abby! He covered me in post it notes and put a silly hat on my head while I was asleep. And the whole office saw me."
"Stop exaggerating McPostItNote! It wasn't the whole office. Maybe ninety five percent tops!" Tony interjected. To this Tim attempted to fake Abby out by making it appear he was going to weave left when he really went for a zag right. But Abby had his number and blocked his path.
"Tim! Tim! No! Just listen. I came up here to give you something," she told him in a gentle voice in hopes of distracting him from his infuriation and murderous intentions.
"Alright fine he can live for another few seconds."
"That's very generous of you McGee."
"No. Generous is what the payback is going to be."
"Give it your best shot McLame!" Tony challenged him.
"Shut up Tony!"
"McGee!"
"What Abby?" Tim finally spat out, agitation thick in his voice. All he wanted to do at that moment was wrap his hands around DiNozzo's throat and throttle him. Tony was only increasing his aggravation by his continual sounds of amusement and a series of facial expression displaying the pride he had in his own childish handy work.
"Well I happen to know that today is a certain NCIS Special Agent's anniversary!" Abby announced and then ambushed him with a huge hug. At first he was stiff in her embrace but he could feel her genuine happiness for him and it melted away some of the anger.
"You remembered?" he commented.
"Of course McGee! It's not every day you become a full fledged field agent. And…." she stated before holding up an index finger to indicate he should give her one moment. She scurried around to the next pod of desks and to the one that had been long empty. She picked something up there and scurried back with it in hand.
"I know how much you like these so I thought it would be fun instead of a cake!" she explained and opened the box to reveal a collection of cupcakes. The one in the center had a candle stuck in it.
"Abby that was really nice of you! I'm sorry I snapped at you," he offered her softly.
"You should thank Tony too. When I suggested getting these he offered to pick them up for me."
"He did? Did he?" McGee asked his voice thick with suspicion.
"Absolutely. He insisted in fact."
"I bet he did!"
"Well the bakery was closer to his place than mine so it was thoughtful of him to offer."
"Yes thoughtful. That's exactly the word I was thinking of!" Tim responded all the while giving a sideways glare in Tony's direction.
"Your sarcastic tone hurts me Probie!" Tony snapped and faked a sad sniffle while swiping at a non existent tear.
"Give it up! What did you do to the cupcakes DiNozzo?"
"Not a thing!"
"You lie like a rug!" Tim growled out.
"Who's a rug?" Ziva's voice asked. Tony, Abby, and McGee all looked over to her as she dropped her bag behind her desk.
"Nobody. It means Tony is a big fat liar."
"Oh I see. This I already knew. Dare I ask McGee why it looks like you were attacked by a very vengeful army of note taking supplies?" she inquired as her gaze panned up and down over his post it noted body.
"That would be the big fat lair we were just discussing," Tim replied and went back to glaring at the senior field agent.
"We really need to get you laid McGee. Loosen up. It…was… fun-ny," Tony stated with a shake of the head.
"Stop changing the subject DiNozzo. What did you do to the cupcakes?"
"He did something to the cupcakes?" Ziva asked coming over and peering inside the box that Abby still held in her hand.
"I did nothing to the cupcakes!" Tony declared and got to his feet.
"Yeah right?" Tim shot back at him as Tony marched over to him.
"What are you chicken McGee? Grow a set and have a cupcake."
"If you're so ballsy how about you go first? Go ahead I dare you."
"I think I just might!" Tony responded. Abby turned the box so it was opened in his direction. Tony was about to pick up the one in the far corner when McGee spoke up again.
"The one with the candle!" he instructed.
"If you insist McCrankyPants! Somebody needed a longer nap!" Tony announced and picked up the center cupcake. Ceremoniously he plucked out the candle and tossed it aside. Then he gave it a sniff and made a pleased sound at how it smelled. After that he made a show of taking an elongated swipe with his tongue over the white frosting on the top.
"Oh ho ho ho! Wow! So good!" he murmured into the cupcake as he continued to lick it from all conceivable angles. That quickly led into him sticking his tongue into the chocolate and proceeding to suck some of the middle out into his mouth.
"Stop stalling! Just eat the cupcake DiNozzo!"
Tony's reply was to finish off the chocolaty goodness in two more big bites. His hands now free he swiped them across one another to rid them of any crumbs while he finished chewing. Then added in an exaggerated swipe of his shirt sleeve across him mouth. After having taken care of all of that he crossed his arms over his chest and grinned over at Tim.
"Mmmm yummie! Finger lickin' good!" he commented.
"Why can't you be normal like the Tony in my dream?"
"Your dream?" Tony inquired with eyebrows raised in curiosity.
"Yeah the one I just woke up from to find myself dressed in post it notes and wearing a pirate hat made out the funny pages. That Tony was actually mature."
"Dreaming about me? I guess I can see where your desire to be like me would be so intense it would spill over into your sleep. I mean I am fantastic after all! Ah! The understandable yet futile dreams of the nerdy!"
"Grow up!" McGee snapped back at him.
"I don't wanna and you can't make me McGee!" Tony responded plopping back down at his desk and taking a sip of coffee from his American Pie mug to wash down his dessert.
"I hate you!" Tim snarled out.
"Have a cupcake McGee. It'll make you feel better!" Abby suggested.
"Thank you Abby!" he replied, turned his back on Tony, and picked out a cupcake from the box.
"See Tony some people are nice!" Tim continued turning back towards Tony who now sat at his desk entertaining himself by tossing his cell phone up in the air and catching it and then tossing it up again higher. Tim gave him a So there! expression and took a generous bite out of his cupcake. It was the faint popping sounds that grabbed his attention. Unfortunately it was already too late. A burst of liquid shot out from the cupcake spraying him smack in the face. His eyes shot closed in reaction even though they had already taken the hit. He could feel the liquid as it ran down along his cheeks and dripped off his chin.
Tim wiped his fingertips across his eyes, clearing away some of the moisture there and cracked his eyelids back open once again. He looked at the cupcake in his hand and watched as hot pink colored liquid trailed down his hand and onto the cuff of his left sleeve. Then he slowly lowered his gaze to the front of his shirt and discovered that the bright colored liquid was splattered from his shirt collar on down to the bottom button on his shirt.
Fury boiling up towards the surface in him Tim shifted his gaze from his ruined shirt to Tony. The senior field agent had ceased his game of catch with his phone and was now doubled over with laughter. Finally able to get a breath in amidst his amusement he straightened up and responded to the glare from Tim.
"Game. Set. Match. To DiNozzo!" Tony announced then cupped his hands around his mouth to let out a sound mimicking the cheering of fans packed into to a stadium.
"I-am-going-to-kill-you!" Tim stated matter of factly. Then in the next breath the cupcake was on the floor and Tim was leaned over a still seated Tony with his hands wrapped around his teammate's neck.
"No…sen…sense…of….humor!" Tony managed to get out despite being throttled.
"A little…hee…help…here!" he added while trying to pry Tim's fingertips from his neck.
"Perhaps we should. For McGee's sake, yes?" Ziva commented to Abby.
"You may have a point. Plus there's the whole homicide cover up. Really time consuming. And I have plans tonight."
Abby and Ziva approached the scene. Abby wrapped her arms around Tim's waist and started to pull backwards in an attempt to drag Tim from his homicidal intentions. Ziva took up position on the other side of Tim and started to work at prying his hands from their vice grip around Tony's neck. At this point Tony's tongue was sticking out and the scene was reminiscent of Homer Simpson throttling Bart.
It was in this jumbled up mess of bodies and limbs, pulling, prying and throttling that they were discovered.
"Go home McGee!" Gibbs commanded as he rounded the corner into the team's pod of desks. It was like the team lead's voice flipped a switch in his agents. McGee released Tony's throat. Tony sat up straighter at attention at his desk, still rubbing at his neck though. And Ziva and Abby released Tim and stepped back.
There was a moment of silence while everyone regained their composition more thoroughly. Then taking in a deep breath Tim responded verbally as if nothing had happened.
"Boss?"
"Go….home."
"To change?"
"Don't care what you do once you get there."
"You want me to go home and not come back?"
"Very good McGee."
"I know there's no major case right now but why are you sending me home, Boss?"
"Think McGee!"
"Well, it's my anniversary."
"Again?"
"I was here really late last night doing maintenance and updates on our computers. Barely got any sleep."
"Except for the drool fest earlier," Tony commented to Ziva.
"That'd be why," the team lead stated like it had been the most obvious thing in the world. His voice was followed by his most senior agent's.
"Why does it not surprise me that the Boss offers McGee a half day off and he sits around and asks questions? Only McGee would even still be in the building at this point," Tony commented.
"You do have a home, right, McGee?" Gibbs griped when McGee did not seem to be taking a while lot of action towards departure.
"I do Boss. Leaving!"
"Well I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow!" Tim offered in the direction of his teammates.
"Uhhh…that would be a Hell No!" Tony exclaimed loudly.
"Nor I!" Ziva added.
"You guys taking vacations days?"
"No. It's this little thing we like to call Saturday, McGee," Tony explained.
"Oh right. Of course! Been kind of a weird day. Forgot."
"Happy Anniversary McGee!" Ziva offered him.
"Thank you Ziva!"
"Yeah what she said Probie!"
"I guess I'll see you guys in a few days then."
"I guess so!" Tony replied.
"Bye McGee!" Ziva called after him as he headed of towards the elevator.
To Be Continued...