"It's Konata, man. I don't think that's such a good idea." Konata said to the man.
"Yeah, well they said catching that pass in my high school championship football game was a bad idea cause I broke my leg in thirteen places but...I scored a touchdown and won the game. Your wearing a Letterman, you must play sports right?" the man asked
"No, I got this from my ex-boyfriend, I kept it after me broke up with me." Konata said.
"Well, anyways, the world is made out of bad ideas my friend." the man said
The two of the women walked around the back of the bank as the man guarded the exit. The other woman had gone down to the basement to place a bomb on the safe.
The woman ran back up the stairs. "The PE4 has been molded and is set to explode in sixty seconds." the woman said as she checked her watch.
The man next to Konata slowly pulled out a pistol as not to alert the robbers.
"Now listen people, we're your friends, me and my sister here..." the woman with the watch said.
"Why are you telling them we're sisters, you idiot? That's going to make it hard for them to find us, isn't it." on of the women holding up the back of the bank said.
"I'm trying to be honest with these people, we put them through a lot today." the woman with the watch said.
"Fuck these people, fuck your cause, that shit is over. We're not in the land of the rising sun anymore." the woman in the back said.
"Now you said Japan, that's gonna narrow the search ain't it, shorty." the woman with the watch said.
"Fuck you. Take the needle out of your arm then tell me what to do, Flat Chest!" the woman in the back said.
"I'll let you tell me what to do when you grow at least five inches taller." the woman with the watch said.
"MOTHERFUCKERS!" the man to the right of Konata stood up with his pistol and fired a round into the chest of the man guarding the front door. everyone on the ground screamed.
"Fuck." the short woman said as she shot off her assault rifle into the man with the gun. The robber and the man fell to the ground at the same time as they both died.
"We told you not to fuck with us." the short woman yelled as the gunman fell to the floor.
"Shit. Michael. Saint fuckin' Michael!" the woman with the watch said as she saw the man guarding to door die.
As the two men died all went quiet...
BOOM
The explosives set on the vault went off. The floor shook violently as the woman in the back who had been silent the entire time fell to the floor. "Tsuk...I mean...are you okay." the woman with the watch said. "Don't use my name, idiot." Tsukasa said. "Sorry, go get the money." the woman with the watch said.
After the the woman returned upstairs with the money. They all made their way to the front of the bank with gym bags full of money. "Good God, it's a bacon factory out there!" as N.O.O.S.E. surrounded the building. And the gun fire started...
Later that day...
"Yeah, like I said, everything is still a little fuzzy..." Konata said as she spoke with a police officer out side of the bank, there were exploded cars and dead police officers all around the perimeters of the building.
"Well if you think of anything else Miss Izumi..." A policed officer handed her a business card.
"Yeah, sure, sure, I'll give you a call." Konata said as she walked away down the street.
"Thanks" The officer said.
She threw away the card as she walked down the street. She looked down an alleyway to the right of the bank to see even more death and destruction as investigators sifted through the wreckage of blown up police cars and dead bodies of officers.
"Wow, those were some bad-ass chicks." Konata thought to herself as she passed by.
"Yo, whats up." Konata said to a group of men as she passed by the video arcade. "Good to see you Konata, come back and play any time." the men said as they played their games. "Bye" Konata said as she waved and passed by.
She pulled out her phone to call her boss. "Hey, Kyon, it me...yeah there was a problem at the bank...place got robbed...I didn't have anything to do with it...some Japanese nationalists or something..." Konata said in her conversation with Kyon as she crossed the street in front of the arcade as she almost was hit by a three women in a black car. "Ahh..." Konata jumped out of the way as she continued to talk.
"Listen...I'm coming over.." Konata said as she tried to say as group of motorcyclists past. The leader chanting "Lucky M-C...Lucky M-C..." Konata could hear again. "Wake up okay...you hear me...wake up..." Konata hung up.
She arrived at Kyon's apartment a few moments later and rang the buzzer. "Who the fuck is it?" Konata heard Kyon say from the intercom.
"It's me, Konata." She said into the intercom.
"Oh...whatever...come upstairs." Kyon said as he pushed the button to unlock the front door. Konata walked upstairs. She walked into Kyon's apartment. It was an upscale place, with many paintings on the walls and a large bookshelf across from a living room with a giant plasma screen television and a white leather couch. She saw Kyon standing there in the living room in a dress shirt and boxers. "Oh, how are you..." Kyon said sarcastically to her as she came into the room.
"I'm good boss, how are you? You look terrible." Konata said in response.
"That's good, cause I feel worse than terrible. I'm fuckin' wretched." Kyon said as he went into his bedroom and started to change his clothes, he shut the door.
"What's wrong?" Konata said as she stood in front of the door.
"Oh, the usual, Boyfriend thinks I'm a cash machine. One nightclub catering to the rich mindless crowd in the city where the rich mindless crowd are suddenly poor and mindless. Another club catering to the gay and decadent crowd, when the gay and decadent crowd suddenly thinks decadence means buying outrageous new throw cushions instead of getting loaded in a bar. And every half-wit, part time hood in the city thinking 'I know, let's put the squeeze on the club owners...they must really really want to substitute my inadequacies with their money because, after all they wanna stay up all night talking bullshit to morons because they enjoy it'" Kyon ended his speech as he exited his bedroom in a black suit with a shiny grey tie, and pink tinted sunglasses.
"You need to stop being such a realist." Konata said.
"Thank you for your support." Kyon said sarcastically.
"That's what I'm here for boss." Konata said.
"Yes, you know, if the bodyguard/business partner/otaku thing doesn't work out, you should consider a career as a fuckin' life coach." Kyon said.
"A what?" Konata asked.
"Never mind." Kyon shook his head. "Did you speak to Troy?" Kyon asked.
"Yeah, he said he loves you, but he can't handle working the door of a gay club anymore. Says that people are laughing at him." Konata said.
"Who's laughing at him?" Kyon asked as he sat down on his white leather couch.
"I don't know - I think the little people who live in his head, the ones stuck in 1955." Konata said.
"Oh, I love those people. And what's up with Dessie?" Kyon asked.
"He says he saw you last night, he says he saw you talking to that Minoru guy from the radio show. The one who is really unlucky." Konata said.
"I was?" Kyon asked.
"Apparently so..." Konata said.
"My god, thirty years old and I get my kicks doing pills and being interviewed on crappy radio stations. I should be sent to prison shouldn't I?" Kyon complained.
"Yeah, definitely." Konata said as she noticed a large stack of hundred dollar bills on Kyon's book shelf. "What's this money? Did you rob your own club? Kyon I just went to the bank for you, man..." Konata looked angry.
"I DON'T WANT IT IN THE BANK!" Kyon yelled.
"Good morning, the door was open. It's easier to get into your apartment than it is to get into your nightclub." said an Italian man as he walked into the living room.
"Yeah, we have a no grease-ball policy at the club, here I ain't so sure." Konata said as she tried to act tuff.
"I just love being racially abused by an otaku. Who is this otaku Kyon?" the man asked.
"My business partner, Konata." Kyon tried to calm the two down. "Now, people, watch your language. We're in the great melting pot. We're not otaku, or greaseballs, or fags - we're proud Americans! Konata, this is Rocco, a relative of Yuki, and a worker for a crazy woman named Haruhi." Kyon finished.
"Guess what, I'm not here about Yuki or Haruhi." Rocco pulled out a pistol from his black leather jacket. "Oh, oh, beautiful..." he took the stack of money from off of the bookshelf. "That's a start, I guess I don't have to beat you two up. Oh, and nice to meet you otaku." Rocco left the apartment.
"Fuck, there goes payroll." Kyon said as he put his hands on his hips.
"...who the fuck were that asshole, Kyon?" Konata said.
"A fine man of the cloth...what do you think...he was a Sakuraba goon. Working for that whackjob Haruhi. And I borrowed money from them way back...never mind...let's get out of here. let's go." Kyon finished as he went downstairs.
Chapter 1 End