AN: I own nothing but Miss Jenna. This is pre-series both in fic series and in T.V. Series. If you have not read at least The Blackbird She Takes Flight. You will be lost reading Everybody Knows might also help. This one is written for Ozlady08 one of my most faithful reviewers. Its not really what you asked for but its what my muse gave me. This was inspired by Adele's Someone Like You. Which I do not own either. Please enjoy and review.
Jenna's driving home headed back toward Savannah, when her cell phone rings she reaches blindly around next to her before capturing it. And flipping it open.
"Hey Don,"
"Hey Indy." she says flatly eying Jax leaning on her kitchen island. "What are you doing?"
"Driving home. Are you ok? I know that tone. Bubba get time added for brawling? One of the kids hurt do you need me?"
"No, No, nothing like that we're all fine." Donna pointed to the front door plunking down a dish towel in frustration. If she had to break Jen's heart she wasn't going to allow Jax to stand as witness to his own action.
"Then what?" Jenna braked for a turn and Donna watched the screen door swing closed after Jax.
"Jax got married Jennasis."
It was like someone took a concrete pylon and shoved it through her chest. Jesus this hurt. Tears blurred her vision.
"Jen?" Donna asked into the silence.
"I'm - I'm here." She choked out swallowing down huge heart wrenching sobs.
"Pull over."
"No! I'm fine I- I've only been gone four months and he-" she was crying and choking trying to breathe.
"Pull over now Jenny!"
She pulled out of traffic and on to the shoulder jerkily. Donna listened to her sob and sob and sob. "It hurts Donna! It really really god it hurts." Jenna leaned her head on the steering wheel tears dripping unabashedly down her face.
"I know baby."
"I thought he loved me!"
"He does. This is just…" Donna gestured around her as if physically searching for the words
"His way of healing. To replace me." Jenna replied sounding broken. She sucked in a breath trying to pull herself together.
"Jen?"
"Who?" She needed to know. She just had too.
"That's not-"
"It is important. It's important to me. Who is she?"
"Wendy Case."
Jenna laughed sadly. "Sweet butt got a promotion."
"She make him happy? I want him to be…" What did she want for him? Satisfaction? Wholeness? "Happy."
"I don't know you'd have to ask him." Donna replied tiredly.
Donna heard Jenna wiping her nose on her sleeve.
"Yeah that's not happening. I'd… I can't. Just tell him congratulations, and I want nothing but the best for him and if she's that then I'm glad."
"Jen that's awfully grown up of you. That makes me proud."
"I've been a grown up longer than half my family Don. This life requires it. Besides, it's the only way I can show him I love him now."
"And Donna? Don't tell him I cried."
"I won't."
"Ok well I need to get home I'll call you tomorrow. Love you." She wiped at her tear and mascara streaked face trying to repair things. She set the car back in gear.
"Alright I love you too Jen bye."
"Bye. I-"
"I'll tell Ope, to call you."
"Ok thanks bye Don." They hung up.
Donna walked outside to see Jax smoking on her front porch.
"You ask me to do anything like that again and I will kill you."
"She ok?" there was too much concern in his eyes, Donna thought for Wendy not to notice.
"No. would you be Jax? If that was Opie on the phone calling to tell you she'd promised herself to another man for eternity? Would you be ok? I know you wouldn't because as I'm pretty sure you've figured out there will never be another Jenna only people to fill the holes."
"I don't mean-"
"I'm not done." She sniped.
"She asked me to tell you congratulations and she wants you to be happy, wants what's best for you. She's glad Wendy can give you that. She's letting you go. That means you don't get to ask after her in any way. You give her the graceful exit she deserves, you got that."
"Yes, I really didn't mean to hurt her."
"It's like all she is to you is collateral damage."
"That's not true I love…loved her."
"You love her Jax. Be honest at least with yourself just don't let Wendy see it or you'll be out a wife. Go fix a bike or something so I feel less like hitting you. That wasn't in Jen's instructions." She stomped back inside.
-/-/-/-
Jax set on his couch phone in hand fingering the number two on his speed dial that would call up Jenna.
What could he say though "I did this because I love you. Because being alone kills me and I'm selfish and if I heard your voice I'd come after you. I miss you. Forgive me." all of it would get him nowhere. He knows that. Wendy fixed the dilemma for him. "Jax hon," she came around the corner . "Yeah…" he snapped his phone shut.
-/-/-/-
Jenna's phone rings when she's standing in the hair dye aisle at Wal-Mart.
"You've received a call from the California correctional facility Chino Penitentiary. Do you accept?" An automated voice informs her.
"You have thirty minutes." it adds. Jennasis huffs he gave up his daily call with Donna for more time with her.
"Hey," Says Opie.
"Hey you didn't have to do that."
"Yes I did you're my sister and I love you. He hurt you, intentional or not I want to fix it. Hug you and I can't. This I can do so let me."
"Ok should I dye my hair maraschino cherry red?"
"So that's how were dealing? Baby girl I need you to leave the hair products alone back away."
"But-"
"Back away Jennasis."
"Hair dye won't go to my hips double fudge brownie will."
"Talk to me." He stated.
"He married a dirty whore." She whined. Rolling down the aisle.
"I know."
"A pretty dirty whore and I still can't date."
"You will. Just hang on."
" I don't want to love anyone but Jax."
" Please don't wait for him Jen. He wont- he's not, he can't come after you baby its just not in his make up. " He let out a breath. Sighing tiredly.
"The only man who will ever love me is you. It sucks. Thank you though…you are always here. Even when you're not."
"It's my job, the being there part. Lovin' you that's the easy shit kid. Jax loves you he just can't show you right now. Someone else is gonna come along Jen it might not feel the same but it can still hold weight, Mean something."
"Thank you, help me pick out ice cream I'll eat a bowl for you. People are staring at me 'cause I'm using blue tooth looks like I'm talking to myself."
"So, you're like crazy Mrs. Cooley minus the cats wheels added."
"Shut the fuck up bub,"
"Oooh get something with peanut butter." Opie ignored her barb.
"All this shit has sexual sounding names…"
"Is there an I want to beat you with a stick? You could send some to Jax." Jenna let out a barking laugh. "Harry made a funny." She teased.
"They have chubby hubby but no I married a slutty showgirl." She continued
"Suckage, they totally need that." he added dryly.
"You have five minutes. This call is being recorded by CDCJ."
"Shit I hate automated voice lady she's a stingy time mongering bitch."
"Agreed."
"Well thanks for making me feel better Opie." She opened the freezer door.
"Welcome. Stay away from the hair dye and go with double fudge brownie. Love you kid."
"Love you back." and the line went dead.
At the check out she plunked down her purchases. The boy behind the counter smiled at her all pimply and hopeful she remembered that stage she smiled back.
"Keep the change kid."
Her world was different today Jax was married. Wow, it felt weird and painful. It was scary. He was no longer an option. Maybe one day she'd find someone at least a little like him.
She got in her truck and headed to her home. At least the one for now.