What? Me? Writing a new fanfiction since how long? Well, it seems like so. Not that any of you care, probably. You just want to get to the story.

Honestly, this story won't be that special. It's just one of those many interpretations of Bowser. We'll see if anyone likes it or not.

Disclaimer: Boss-Defeater451 does not own Bowser. Nintendo does. Bowser would probably own Boss-Defeater451 in a fight, though.

"And because of this, I will kidnap princess Peach today!" a huge monstrosity declared on a conference table. The huge monstrosity looked like a turtle, but on two legs and spikes on his shell. That shell was ill-green, unlike the body that seemed to decide on a more yellowish or orange color. The body was huge and seemed mighty. The name they gave this monster… was Bowser. You know, that always princess-kidnapping cartoon monster from the Mario games. Of course you do, since I'm pretty sure a non-Mario fan won't read this story. They tend to have better things to do. Nowadays, many seem to tire of this monster and its unnecessary strong will to make Peach his bride.

As a result, Bowser was greeted with many sighs from the conference table. Smaller turtles, either similar to Bowser or clad in some robe, didn't seem to be amused by his decision.

"King dad?" one of the smaller turtles started. "You tried to kidnap her yesterday. Don't you think they'll expect an attack again?"

"Of course not! I usually kidnap her once a month, so they think they've gotten rid of me for the next few days. Our spies in the Mushroom Kingdom have confirmed this," Bowser told the rest. "But just to be sure, I'll be going with only Kamek. We won't be sighted too early then."

This caused a huge uproar amongst the turtles that looked like Bowser. Because saying 'turtles that looked like Bowser' is quite tiresome, I might as well just state their name: the Koopalings. The ones in the robes were called Magikoopas, and one of them was the previously named Kamek.

"What! King dad! We haven't been assigned to a mission for weeks! How are we expected to make a name for ourselves if we don't get to do anything?" Larry Koopa, the one that previously asked the question, asked again.

"Well, maybe you should've gone on our family holidays with me past few years then. Because, as I quote from the Sunshine event, you told me that 'you were mature enough to do your own things without needing my guidance.'"

The Koopalings sighed, admitting they indeed said that. "Maybe we should've gone to the training camp as we promised, instead of that amusement park…" one whispered to another.

"AHA! I knew it!" Bowser shouted, as if he just won a war. "For that, you're grounded for the next few weeks! Go to your rooms right now, and think about what you've done."

The Koopalings sighed once more as they made their leave.

"Great job, Morton."

"It came out of my mouth before I realized it!"

With that last sentence, they left the room, leaving only Bowser, Kamek and a few more Magikoopas behind.

"As for the rest of you, I don't have anything to say. Kamek, get your wand and broomstick, we'll be moving to the Mushroom Kingdom in ten minutes. Class dismissed," Bowser stated, before realizing his mistake and correcting it. "I mean, discussion dismissed." Darn those children… and home-schooling them to be evil.

The Magikoopas grabbed a few notes they had written on the conference table, saluting their king and discussing some of Bowser's plans.

"How long do you think Bowser will last in this castle raid?"

"Five minutes, if not less."

"You're on!"

Bowser remained in the rather dark room. Sure, there were a few candles brightening the room, but it still was hard to see. Bowser sighed, before realizing one Magikoopa had stayed in the room.

Kamek.

"Why are you still here, Kamek?"

"I was about to offer we both go to the cemetery . It's that day," Kamek told Bowser with some sadness in his voice.

"I know. That's why I wanted only us to go to the Mushroom Kingdom. Nobody else needs to see us there. Still, you'll need your wand and broomstick first."

"I left both at the cemetery. I figured we would be going there first anyway."

"Fine. Let's go then."

A few more minutes, and Bowser and Kamek stood in front of a huge grave. Truly, it seemed to be the last resting space of some royal figure. In this case, figures. The golden grave showed the greatness the two managed to achieve in their lifetime.

"I remember that day quite well. The day they both sacrificed their lives to save our world," Kamek told Bowser, holding a hand on his shoulder. This was no easy task for the Magikoopa, since Bowser was about twice the size of Kamek. So instead, Kamek climbed upon his broomstick and flied up. Now he could comfort Bowser.

"I can't remember anything of them, except from what you've told me."

"Yes, your parents were great Koopas when they lived. I was proud to be their advisor, through fortunate and less-fortunate times. In times of joy…"

Kamek briefly remembered his first day in the castle, working for Bowser's parents. He wasn't such a gifted Koopa back then. In fact, he set the throne on fire when trying to light a candle… on the opposite side of the throne room, which was a quite large room. Bowser's father forgave him (after setting Kamek on fire: Bowser's family was always known to be a little hot-tempered), sensing a great potential in Kamek. And the failure was too funny to not keep Kamek in for more fun.

"… as in times of pain."

Kamek remembered the day the fifth Mushroom Kingdom-Dark Lands war began. The Mushroom Kingdom, once more having become jealous of the Dark Lands' rich mines, wanting those for the Kingdom. Originally, the Dark Lands did belong to the Mushroom Kingdom, but it didn't do much with the burnt grounds here. Too much lava for the mushrooms head called toads. However, it formed a great place to put in some unwanted people, such as criminals, thieves and Koopas. The Toads deemed the Koopas of a lesser species back then, and banned them to these areas of lava. One Koopa tried to make the best out of it, and after many expeditions, discovered gold and diamonds in the ground. He managed to purchase the Dark Lands, while the rulers of the Mushroom Kingdom laughed that they managed to get so much money for such worthless lands. The founder of the Dark Lands, Bowser's ancestor, had the last laugh when the Dark Lands became one of the richest (and happiest) countries in the Mushroom world. Suddenly, the Mushroom Kingdom deemed the purchase illegal and since then attempted to capture the Dark Lands in several wars.

The fifth war was the last war over the purchase action. Just when the Dark Lands thought the Mushroom Kingdom calmed down, to the point that even an alliance between both lands didn't seem too far away, a huge invasion army invaded the Dark Lands.

"Such as the war, huh?" Bowser asked, and Kamek nodded.

"Oh yes, that war was disastrous for both sides. We were somewhat prepared with our new Conscription law, which your father had made after we captured some Toad spies. But we were unprepared for the unforeseen magical might of the Mushroom Kingdom. The day the invasion began, I had to personally get your parents out of bed while they were making… sweet times," Kamek couldn't help but blush slightly at remembering that. "They really wanted a successor to the throne and a child back then, and therefore, were busy with their 'mission' each night. But upon realization of the war, they didn't bother anymore. I guess they didn't want to put a baby in a war."

"Still, I was born."

"Yes, that one night proved to be fruitful. Two months after the night, your mother lay an egg… in the toilets. It was a bit embarrassing for her and her maids. They had to clean the egg from her… err… waste products. Despite our suggestions to check on the egg once a week, she kept visiting you every single hour, even in the nights, for the whole war. She was so afraid something would happen to you, such as spies infiltrating the castle and destroying the egg, she couldn't help it."

"Leaving my dad to fight the war on his own."

"Yes. Your mother often came to support him and that the Dark Lands managed to remain independent comes from some of her suggestions. Still, your father did the bigger part. It was hopeless for both sides to really win, especially when a third party got involved. A person came to both sides, promising to stop the war in favor of whomever he was talking to. Both sides of course agreed, though I was suspicious from day one. Your parents actually also doubted him, but had to take you in consideration. They didn't want you to be born in a world full of war, so they wanted to end it quickly."

"I remember that part. In trade for it, that person wanted an amulet from both the Dark Lands and the Mushroom Kingdom."

"Not just any amulet, but one that apparently contained the most evil thing that was ever creat-…" Kamek stopped for a second after seeing Bowser staring at him, with rage in his eyes, "I mean, the second most evil thing. You're the most evil after all. That amulet was split into two and given to the Mushroom Kingdom and the Dark Lands at some point. Historians are still trying to figure out when. But the person combined the amulets into one once more and with this evil power, attempted to conquer the whole word, starting with the Mushroom Kingdom and the Dark Lands. In the last moments before the world would be doomed, both sides came together to discuss how to stop the new threat and make peace. It was agreed that both sides would send out their two mightiest warriors to stop him. Those four warriors turned out to be your parents and Peach's parents, in other words, the kings and queens of the lands. After a harsh battle, the amulet was destroyed, but also the warriors, leaving the recently born you and princess Peach as orphans."

"I've seen my parents' grave for today. Let's move on," Bowser told Kamek, some tears freeing themselves from the prisons that were called Bowser's eyes.

"Certainly, sir."

The two walked/flew between many other graves. Many of those shared the same date: the date the fifth war ended. Kamek continued.

"The war had disastrous effects for both countries. Many had fallen, including their kings and queens. Many humans in the Mushroom Kingdom had enough of the dangers of this world, and went back to from where they came. There were some that didn't, such as Mario and Luigi's parents. When my crystal ball told me Mario and Luigi would be dangerous for our kingdom, I assumed they would be dangerous spies in the near future. So I thought I did the whole world a favor by getting rid of them quickly. Of course, the always naïve yoshis came and put a stop to my plan. I must've been a bad influence on you. After your parents' deaths, I, as their main advisor was called in to raise you and to lead the country through the hard times."

"Oh yes, I remember that. I always thought I was in charge, that you were afraid of me… which you were, but I know you knew I wasn't much of a threat yet. You just did as if I could command you, throw you around, but you just did that to amuse me."

"I did, sir. I'm surprised you figured that out. I was pretty sure I was good at keeping up that lie… I went as far as to let you kidnap baby Peach a few times while our relationship with the Mushroom Kingdom was unstable. It was all in a good laugh, though. I had long before contacted Toadsworth that you would be coming. He always invited the young Mario bros. over. What he didn't realize was that I was still busy trying to get rid of the two brothers, but I could never get close enough. It was then you got kidnapped by my future self. I realized what I was doing. That, and I also received books from earth about a few stories. I didn't bother reading too much of them, though the Greek myths were interesting. I read about heroes and people trying to change fate, but only caused that same fate to happen."

"That's when you decided to actually step up and give me a proper education to become a king."

"Yes. I figured that by trying to prevent the Mario brothers from becoming dangerous, I was only making them dangerous. So I ceased my actions at once. Well, I also had to, as Mario's parents finally decided they had enough of this world and left it too. Since there was 'nobody' to stop you from kidnapping Peach, I decided to stop your childish actions. I taught you everything your parents taught me about ruling a country, and I had several generals train you to fight."

"That's when I met him."

The two stopped by another grave. It was of a smaller koopa, the same size as Kamek and figure as Kamek, only without the blue robe and instead with a green shell.

"Oh yes, your best friend," Kamek noted.

"I remember how he managed to beat me while I was boasting. I was surprised that a normal koopa could defeat the king. Now, of course, I would beat him with ease, but back then, I wasn't that well trained. I came to respect him. We would often train together and later on, play together. I have many great memories about him."

"Such as?" Kamek asked.

"Such as… I don't remember. It was just a great time in general. Sadly, the Sarassaland-Dark Lands war happened."

"I'm terribly sorry for it, great king. I received several reports that Sarassaland spies had stolen some of our treasury, and I figured out that if I weakened their mineral export, the Dark Lands could replace it and strengthen our economy instead."

"Don't worry." Kamek sighed of relief at that statement. "I really hate you for it. You're a great father-figure otherwise, but it cost my friend's life."

"I apologize for it, but I didn't realize a normal Koopa was your friend."

"Just like everyone else at that time. When the war was over, I stood right here. Of course I was not crying." The tiles Bowser stood on, were incredibly wet, as it had been rained upon for a thousand years. It hadn't rained in the Dark Lands for several years, though, and it was usually quit hot. The water should've evaporated by now. "Still, when I sought someone to support me in those hard times, nobody came. They all wondered why I was upset over that specific koopa and not about the others that had fallen. At best, they realized my parents were buried on the same date. Just as I thought I was all alone…"

"you got a supporting hand on your shoulder," Kamek finished, having heard this tale before.

Bowser nodded, as tears started flowing over his face. "Let's visit her grave now."

"Of course, sir. Don't you think it's quite odd that everyone you loved, died on the exact same date? I'm almost starting to worry about this day," Kamek said with a chuckle.

"I mentioned. Still, it's nothing to laugh about."

The calm winds did nothing to warm up the mood, no matter how hot they were with all the lava in the Dark Lands. Bowser and Kamek moved past more graves, ending up at another large one. This one had a huge statue above, that depicted a koopa like Bowser, but only with… breasts. Seriously, a turtle with breasts? I'm quite sure the anatomy between a human and a turtle are different. But still, she had… breasts. Nothing to do about it.

"Clawdia Koopa. Your wife," Kamek stated the obvious."

"After the burial, I grew to quickly like her. Had I fantasized about Peach in the past…," Kamek lifted his eyebrow. That part he didn't know. Then again, he didn't want to know about Bowser's fantasies in the first place. "I now fell in love with her. Her grace, her feminity, her absolute brutality when it came to fights. Even I felt mercy for the flies that fell prey to her fists. She was so likeable, I proposed to her a year after we first met. She said yes."

"It was a happy time. You were finally old enough to claim the throne, you had a beautiful wife and we no longer had an outbreak of flies in the kingdom."

"Sadly, our attempts to get children weren't fruitful. In the end, we decided to adopt seven children, the Koopalings."

"The Dark Lands were upset at first, then happy for the both of you. But everything changed…" Kamek said those last words with some minor annoyance.

"when the Mushroom Kingdom attacked," Bowser finished the sentence.

"It wasn't a real attack, though. Just a successful infiltration mission. Even I did not expect what that goomba had in store."

"My wife always wanted our own real child. But we both knew, or at least so I thought, that it was impossible. Still, she always wanted a Bowser Junior. 'Then I have twice as fun with two Bowsers!' she often told me. I planned to have Ludwig become my successor, but then came that goomba and ruined everything."

"I remember that day as well. He was supposed to clean up the castle, but came that day with a forgotten act in our constitution: 'Only true family of the Koopa King may rise to the throne. If there's no failure, everyone can make an attempt for the throne, being it with a war of words or words of war.'"

"Eurgh… I removed that act as soon as I could, but by then the damage was done. Clawdia became desperate, fearing chaos in our lands when I would die. Without my knowing, the goomba offered her the chance to have her 'Bowser Junior.' All she had to do, was to get some of my hair. I really should've questioned why she was so intent on cutting my hair that day."

"She didn't realize that a spell that gives life requires the life of another."

"That accursed goomba… He sacrificed my wife to form the egg! By the time I found out, I was too late. The egg was laid, and my wife dying. Realizing the error of her way, she asked me to stand next to her as she drew her last breath. I'll never forget her words." Bowser inhaled, before quoting the exact same words she had said on that fateful day: "Bowser, I'm terribly sorry it had to come to this. I just… wanted a mini-you. I've lived my life happy with you at my side, my dear king. I've no regrets except agreeing to that son of a b****, who only did this in an attempt to weaken the Dark Lands' might. I want you to life without regrets. This was not your fault, it was mine. I want you to raise our child and to give him a mother." Bowser stopped for a second, as if to imitate her pause back then. "I want you to move on, Bowser. Don't become a sad widower. I can't stand that. Find a new wife and make her your own. Someone who you can trust and love, someone who trusts and loves you. If you find that woman, I want you to make her your own. Flirt on all ways you know, give her gifts, heck, kidnap her if needed." Bowser stopped again, remembering Clawdia's giggle after those last words. "Yes, go as far as to kidnap her. I'm sure she'll fall in love with you eventually. Promise me this, Bowser. Please, I can't die peacefully without that promise."

"I promise," Bowser repeated his words from back then.

"Despite that promise, you were heartbroken on her funeral. I remember you saying things like: 'I can never find a woman like her.'"

"Of course I can't. She was the best woman in the world. If there was such thing as a female Bowser, she would be it. She was just that awesome. Not even Peach can compare to her."

"I should've cared more about you. You had already acquired a 'tough-guy' reputation, so I thought it didn't affect you too much."

"Of course it affected me, you idiot. I was crying. Can you imagine it? Me, crying? That was till a comforting hand was placed on my shoulder…"

"Princess Peach had come, much to my own surprise. Unlike some of her underlings, she was a real kindred spirit. I heard she had that goomba that did this all to you, captured, as it certainly wasn't under her orders. I am not sure, though, if she came to the burial because she thought it would benefit the Mushroom Kingdom's relationship with the Dark Lands, or that she truly cared about you."

"Peach of course cared for me. She was there for me. It was then I realized: this is the wife Clawdia meant. I had to fulfill my promise, and I will fulfill it!"

"I apologize, sir. I always thought you didn't care much about Clawdia anymore, but now I realize you're doing the kidnapping out of true love: not only for Peach, but also for Clawdia."

"You only just now realize? It's that I can't help but see you as my father, but otherwise…"

"I know, sir. Isn't it time to kidnap Peach now?"

"It is," Bowser said, full with determination. "Let's go!"

It was reported in both Mushroom Kingdom and Dark Lands newspapers that Bowser had attempted to kidnap Peach… again. Some wondered why he was so determined to continue. But nevertheless that, Mario saw it coming. It's said Mario sneaked up on Bowser, and hit him on his shoulder…

And that was the story. I hope you enjoyed it. So... ... Well, you could of course review, but you don't have to. Your choice.