BANG!
"Aaah!"
The sounds, which was accompanied by the smell of gunpowder, could only mean one thing. Hawkeye was here. And she wasn't happy.
Four of the men in the office fled to their desks, the smallest one knocking over the massive pile of paperwork that had been stacked neatly next to his desk. From the floor, it was taller than him. He was just glad that he didn't have to do it.
The only reason that the fifth man didn't scurry off to his chair, was because he was already in it, with his feet up on the desk, head tilted back, asleep. He hadn't heard the gunshot go off. Either that, or he had, and was doing a very good job of pretending to be asleep. Behind him on the windowsill stood twelve bouquets of flowers, three boxes of chocolates and about fifty cards. He had a collection going.
The office door slammed open and a flurry of black and white flew in, scampering to hide under the youngest man's feet. In stormed Hawkeye, and the men-apart from the one asleep- instantly pretended to be doing their work, so as not to be in the firing line.
"Colonel Roy Mustang, you have three seconds to wake up and start your work, or I will shoot you." The blonde woman had a no-nonsense tone about her.
The sleeping, black-haired man opened his onyx eyes slightly, then closed them again as he saw how furious the lieutenant was.
"Morning to you too, Hawkeye," he muttered sleepily. He knew that she would never shoot him.
BANG!
"AHHH! SHIT!" the colonel yelped angrily, pulling his feet off the desk, and trying to block out the pain.
"Crazy woman," Havoc muttered to Breda. Hawkeye spun around, and Havoc looked back at his paperwork, pretending to have said nothing.
"She shot me! You shot me, Hawkeye! You could get demoted for that!" Mustang cried, pulling off his coat and using it to staunch the bleeding that was coming from his foot.
"And I'm sure that most of the higher-ups would agree that I did what was necessary. Do your work, Colonel." She threw her bag down at her desk, situated off to the side of the Colonel's, and picked up the first few files from the small stack that had been left on her desk.
Falman went to the storage cupboard, pulling out the first-aid kit and throwing a bandage and some painkillers to Mustang, who was moaning about the pain.
"I didn't hit you that hard, colonel. I barely nicked your little toe. Get on with it." The lieutenant told her commanding officer.
A knock at the door interrupted their solid five minutes of work. Maria Ross came in, holding a bouquet of red roses.
"This was at the front desk, I thought I'd bring it," the woman said, and the Colonel nodded.
"Just put it over there with the rest of them, please," he said, smiling at her.
"Um, sir, they're not for you, they're for Lieutenant Hawkeye."
"Oh. Ok. Riza, who sent you flowers?" Mustang swiveled in his chair, staring at the blonde.
"Well, sir, as I haven't yet seen them, I can't be sure, but I would imagine that it would be from the same people who sent me the five boxes of chocolates and forty-seven bouquets of red roses.
"What? People send you stuff?" Breda interrupted as the flowers were placed on Hawkeye's desk.
"Roses and chocolates?" Havoc asked, grinning behind his customary unlit cigarette.
"For Valentine's day?" Fuery peered at her through his glasses.
"Is that why you're upset?" Falman asked.
"Stop asking me stupid questions and get on with your work!" Riza demanded.
"Did you even read the cards? Do you know who they're from?" Mustang wanted to know, but when she flicked the safety off on her gun, the questions miraculously ended.
Around lunchtime, several more bouquets were delivered to the blonde lieutenant and all of them were studiously ignored. The group of six left their office and went to the cafeteria for lunch, and ate together, as was their custom. Hughes and Ross had joined them, nattering away about what he'd gotten for Gracia, and even the little flower he was going to give to Elysia.
"So, Roy, how's the wife hunt going? You know, there's no better way to impress a woman than to give her flowers on Valentine's day!" Maes grinned at his friend, who began clicking his fingers furiously. Luckily, he had left his ignition gloves in his desk drawer, a mistake he would never make again.
"I think this day is ridiculous, to be honest. I mean, what a great way to remind people that they're single?" Riza was saying to Maria exasperatedly. The dark-haired woman nodded.
"It should be called Singles' Awareness Day, not Valentine's Day," she agreed, before looking towards the door pointedly. Naturally, Riza turned and saw what she was looking at.
Major Edward Elric was walking quickly towards the group, followed closely by Al and Winry. Winry was laughing, and a stormy expression was upon Edwards face.
"Hey, Fullmetal. Want to join us?" Fuery asked the teen. He was ignored.
"I've done your stupid report. Now can I have one day of peace?" He demanded of Mustang, throwing a file onto the table.
Roy snickered. "Gonna spend the day with your girlfriend?"
Edward blushed heavily, turning the same color as the cape he wore. He breathed in heavily, so as to deny everything, but Roy got in first.
"Ah, so you haven't asked her yet? Better get in quick, before she finds someone else. Somebody….. tall." He snickered again, knowing he had hit home.
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE COULD LIVE IN A MATCHBOX!" The teen yelled.
Winry and Al sighed.
"That's not what he said, Edward," Winry and Riza said simultaneously.
"But- he just-!"
"Oh, for crying out loud, shut up!" Winry muttered, before turning to face Edward and pulling him forward, kissing him on the lips.
The men in the group wolf-whistled, laughing, and Winry pulled away, keeping a firm hand on his automail arm so he couldn't escape. She was blushing, that was obvious, but that was nothing compared to a stuttering, blustering Edward.
There was an awkward silence and Winry shrugged, grabbing Al buy the arm and pulling both of the boys out of the room, saying "Bye!" over her shoulder.
"Well, that livened things up a bit," Hawkeye commented, before going back to her salad.
"So, Riza, are you going out with someone tonight?" Maria asked, and she shook her head, 'no'.
"I can't be bothered. I have to work tomorrow anyway." Riza said.
"Riza, you're always so focused on work! You should go out, meet someone and stop caring so much about your stupid job!" Maria cried. "That's it. I'm getting you a date tonight."
"What? No! I don't want a date! I HATE Valentine's Day!" Riza protested. Her friend would hear nothing of it.
"The only reason you hate Valentine's Day so much is because you don't have anyone to buy you nice things! Come on, it'll be fun, I'll find someone good for you."
"Excuse me, but I'm the one who keeps getting flowers delivered to her…"
"From admirers, yes, but not from a boyfriend, it's not the same." Maria stated firmly, and Riza knew that she would be going on a date that night, no questions asked.
After lunch, Riza went to the shooting gallery. That's where Roy found her, shooting the crap out of a poor, innocent target.
"Hey," he greeted, hobbling towards her.
"Colonel. What do you want?" she muttered, through gritted teeth, putting down the gun and turning to face him.
"Um, just… are you doing anything tonight, Lieutenant?" He asked hopefully, staring into her amber eyes with his black ones.
"I have a date," she answered shortly, and she turned back to the target.
"What? Really? With who?" Roy was shocked, but tried to hide it unsuccessfully.
She glared at him. "No-one you know."
"Oh. Ok. I'll see ya tomorrow then." He wheeled about and walked off, or rather, limped off.
Riza shook her head to clear it. Why is he acting so strange? Then she decided that she didn't care and continued to practice.
"Oh, Riiiiiiiiiza!" a cheery voice called from outside of her apartment door.
She groaned, before opening the door to admit Maria. The woman was clutching a deep mahogany dress on a hanger, a bag full of stuff and a shoebox. Black Hayate barked at her quickly, before realizing that she posed no threat and went to lie down and sleep off the meal he'd just had.
"So, I brought this dress over with me, because it should fit you and it'll bring out your eyes. And makeup, since you've never worn any so I assumed you don't have any. And these shoes. So go change!"
Riza shook her head again, muttering away to herself as she picked up the clothing and went into her bathroom reluctantly to change.
The dress fit her reasonably well. It came down to her mid-calf, and was simple. It had thin straps and a v-neck. All in all, it was modest, comfortable and looked good on her.
"So, who is this date you've gotten me, then? Better be worth my time. And you know how much I hate Valentine's day. I was planning to watch a sappy movie and eat ice-cream straight out of the tub." Riza told her 'friend' as she was being made over.
Maria laughed. "Don't worry, it's someone good. Now hurry up and put these shoes on, and I'll do your hair… actually, it looks good like that. And we only have ten minutes to get there, so it's probably better that I don't."
"Why do I get the feeling," Riza said, sitting down to put on the silver stilettos, "that I'm going to regret letting you do this to me?"
"Stop panicking and get in the car," Maria stated.
"I'm not panicking!" Riza half yelled, half whined as she went out into the dark street, only dimly lit by a streetlight, which flickered feebly.
"Sure you are. Or, you should be, because you're going on a date and you don't know with whom, and you had to leave your guns at home." Maria got into the driver's seat of her car and Riza joined her in the front. She would have driven, but then, she didn't know where she was going, either.
When her statement was met by silence, Maria cut her eyes to Riza.
"You… did leave your guns at home, right?" Ross asked. She was again answered by silence, and she slammed her head down onto the steering wheel.
"By alchemy, Riza! Where the hell did you managed to shove your gun this time? You'll never get a good date if you scare them all away!"
"Just drive, Maria," Riza stared out of the window, waiting for her imminent doom.
The pair of women reached the restaurant where the date was going to be, and Maria drove straight into a parking lot that was saved for them… by Hughes.
"Oh, shit, please tell me he didn't have anything to do with the planning," Riza exclaimed to Maria. She got an inkling of who her date might be, and knowing that, she refused to get out of the car.
"Come on, Riza, get out of the car. We're here."
Riza shook her head defiantly, crossing her arms and not making a move to get out of the car.
"Riza. Get out of the car," Maria said again, and got the same response.
Maes stuck his head into Maria's open window.
"What's up?" he grinned. Riza glared at him, reaching for her holster, which wasn't actually there.
"You know, you actually have to get out of the car to find out who your date is," he commented, the smile still in place.
"I know who it is, Hughes. And I am NOT about to commit insubordination." She growled through gritted teeth.
"Aw, come on, it's just a bit of fun! Do it for old times' sake," he laughed.
"NO! Maria, take me home, this was a stupid idea."
"Nup, not happening."
"WHAT?" Riza exploded, fuming. She knew that if she went ahead with this date, she could possibly lose her job. And, she thought to herself, I may not be able to control myself like I can at work…
"Fine, you're not moving? Then I'll walk," she clicked the door open and stormed off in the opposite direction of the restaurant. Maria and Maes exchanged a glance, which clearly meant here we go again, and in that second of understanding, Maes ran after Riza and Maria got out of the car, locking it.
Looking around herself, she noticed that, while the car park was eerie, the restaurant was brightly lit, decorated in neutral, yet stylish, beiges and browns. She looked around once more to see if Maes had found Riza yet, which he hadn't, and entered the dining area.
It didn't take her long to find the Colonel, as he stood out like a tractor in a haystack. She made her way over to him and nodded her head in greeting.
"Ah, so you're my surprise date?" He asked her, with a tight smile. She shook her head, and he sighed.
"Maes and I just organized it as a team. She'll be here in a few minutes. There was a slight… dilemma." Maria explained to him.
A look of blank shock registered on Mustang's face. If she helped to orchestrate it, then his date must be…
BANG!
The door slammed open, and in walked Maes, carrying a tied-up Riza slung over his shoulder. Luckily her dress was fairly long, but it was degrading to be pulled into a restaurant. She was hitting him with her handcuffed hands and trying to knee him in the stomach, but he paid no attention as he strode over to Roy's table and plunked her down in the seat opposite from the Colonel.
"Here we are, that wasn't so bad, was it?" Maes grinned at her and she scowled so deeply that Roy thought her brain might explode from the fierceness of it.
"Hey, just be grateful I didn't call for military backup," he smiled broadly, enjoying his little joke.
Maes then leaned over and undid her ankle shackles, and just as they unclicked she rammed her knee into his stomach, a successful hit. He doubled over, gasping for air.
"Hey, what the hell is going on here!" Roy demanded to know. Riza glared at him now, and he realized that she had also, for good measure, been gagged. Maria pulled the gag out of her mouth and she hissed angrily.
"These two decided to throw me a surprise date, and not tell me who I was dating. Then when I found out it was you, I…"
"Balked?" he asked, with a lopsided grin.
"Well, yeah."
"Tell me, Hawkeye, was the prospect of going out with me on a date THAT terrifying?" he asked easily.
"Um-"
"Riza, do you mind if I take my handcuffs back, or do you and Roy want to borrow them for- OOF!" Maes interrupted. Riza had kicked him again, this time in the nuts. He passed out on the floor.
"Sorry, Elysia." She said quietly.
"What? Why are you apologizing to Elysia, he's the one who's hurt…?" Roy raised his eyebrow at the blonde woman.
"I'm sorry because she won't be getting any little sisters or brothers for a while."
The awkward silence weighed down on them heavily.
"Um, Maria, do you mind taking him home? Just tell Gracia the truth, she'll believe it," Roy asked the second lieutenant. She agreed, and left, dragging Hughes along by his collar behind her.
A waiter appeared by Riza's elbow and asked what the commotion had been about. They said it was fine, and ordered; a steak for Roy and a salad for Riza.
"So, Riza, seriously," Roy started as the waiter scurried off, "Am I really that frightening?"
"No, sir, I just think that this is wrong."
"Drop the 'sir', Riza, it's Roy. And what's wrong? A couple of friends eating a meal?"
"Yeah, well, this is meant to be a date. That's insubordination, sir."
"Roy."
"Sorry, Roy."
He sighed, propping his elbow on the table and laying his cheek against the palm of his hand.
"It doesn't have to be a date if you don't want it to, Riza. I didn't know this would happen either, it's not my fault."
Riza was surprised at his suggestion.
"Well… ok. It doesn't matter, right?"
"…right."
The two lapsed into an extremely awkward silence, and waited for the food to arrive. When it did, they began eating, him quickly, and her pushing the food around her plate.
Neither of them spoke for half an hour. The air had never been this thick between them since the day they met, when she was a girl and he was her father's apprentice.
Finally, he declared that he was finished, and threw the bill, with the money, on the table. She stood with him, grabbing his arm as he went to walk on his injured foot, and wobbled precariously.
"Thanks, Riza. Should we go for a walk?" he asked, and his customary smile, although somehow strained. She pointed to his leg.
"Um, don't think you'll get far with that, si- Roy." She almost laughed, but the gap between them had stretched and she felt uncomfortable, and she couldn't. In her mind, she cursed Hughes and Ross. They had spoiled her and Roy's friendship.
"I'm sorry," she muttered in undertone, and he waved her aside. He put his arm around her shoulders, not for a hug but so that he could lean on her to leave the restaurant.
Out in the cold, night air, Riza realized that she should've brought a jacket with her. She shivered slightly.
"Why didn't you bring a jacket, Riza? It's unlike you to be unprepared," he laughed, with sincerity this time.
"I guess I was worried about the horrible date I was about to have," she laughed with him slightly. He looked at her, surprised. He hadn't heard her laugh for a while.
Shrugging his big, black coat off of his shoulders, he slipped it around her well-built figure, his fingers slightly brushing her skin. She shivered again, but not from the cold. The pair of them were sitting by the lake in the Central Park, gazing out into the moonlit water, watching other couples walking home from their Valentine's Day dates.
"Hey, Riza, I got you something, I forgot about it until now," he said, like he was coming out of a daze.
"Really? Okay, but I didn't get you anything…." She replied.
"Here," he muttered, pulling out a small box from his pants' pocket. He handed it to her and watched as she opened it.
It was a simple silver necklace, but hanging from its fairly dainty chain was a pendant that had been shaped to look like-
"A gun," she said in wonder. She took it out of its little box and admired it, before staring at Roy again, suddenly annoyed.
"I thought you said you didn't know I was going to be your date!" she exclaimed.
"What, you think I have everyone under my control?" he gave his customary answer. When she leapt up from her seat on the soft grass, he caught her by the wrist, and pulled her back down again.
"I'm joking. I got this for you anyway, but put it in my pocket just in case…" he smiled genuinely.
She stared at it for a minute, before reaching up to fasten it behind her neck. She was having difficulty, and he leaned over to help.
Once again, his fingers brushed her skin, this time at the base of her neck, which caused tingles to race down her spine. She stared at him for a moment, looking at him as more than a friend for the first time in around twelve years.
He was extremely beautiful, she realized, not for the first time. Of course, everyone thought he was handsome, but not in the way she saw him. His features were great, but not many people looked on the inside. On the inside, she could see the real him, the one who had been forced to kill in Ishval, the one who regretted it, the one who faced the pain of it every day. The one who would do anything to protect his country. Yes, she decided, he was beautiful, but not just because of his looks.
But he was off-limits. No matter what, she would always be there for him, but two paces behind, watching his back. Caring about him from a distance.
"Oi, Riza, are you still there?" Roy broke her from her thoughts. She nodded.
"Good. What are you thinking about?" He asked her, staring into her amber eyes.
"You," she said. "You, who you are, what you've done and what you plan to do."
"Really. And do you see yourself in my future plans?"
"Yes, sir, as always. Two paces behind, watching your back as you become Furher."
He looked sad for a moment. She didn't understand why. Wasn't that what was expected?
Roy gazed into her eyes again, and she stared back, not understanding what it was that she saw there. Was it anger? Sadness? Happiness? Those onyx eyes wouldn't reveal his thoughts, only his actions could do that.
She got a pretty good understanding of his thoughts when he leaned forward and kissed her gently, on the mouth.
His lips were soft, and she relaxed, not caring about who saw them, just knowing that she was here, right now, and loving it.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? The voice of reason screamed inside of her head. YOU'LL GET DISMISSED FROM THE MILITARY IF YOU DO THAT!
"Shut up," she mumbled against his lips. He pulled back suddenly.
"What?"
"…. Never mind. But seriously, sir, we shouldn't do this, it's insubordination, we could both lose our jobs and-" She shut up as his put his lips over hers again. And the pure joy that radiated through her caused her to forget what she was thinking and respond in kind.
The pair were lying under the stars, watching them. Riza had her head laid on Roy's shoulder, and they continued to lie comfortably in each other's presence.
"Hey, Riza?" Roy suddenly looked down at the beautiful woman's face.
"Yeah?"
"Did you like the roses and chocolates I sent you?"
"What?" She sat up quickly and spun around to look at him. "You sent those?"
"Well, yeah…"
"All of them? The roses and the chocolates?"
"Yeah…"
"But Roy, you got me a necklace, why did you buy everything else as well?"
He smiled at her innocently. "Well, you see, there's a story behind them."
She rolled her eyes. Of course there was. She gestured for him to continue, which he did.
"I bought you fifty-two bouquets of roses. There was a bouquet for every year that I've known you, and a bouquet for every time you've saved my stupid ass."
"But Roy, I've known you for seventeen years, and I've only saved your ass thirty four times. What happened to the extra one?"
"Well," he said sheepishly, "That one was because I love you."
She gasped slightly, and looked at him, her eyes brimming with tears. She smiled though.
"And the chocolates…?" she questioned.
"Well, there was one for every time I tried to confess to you how much I love you. I tried five times. Christmas, Valentine's Day, your birthday, my birthday, and last Christmas. So there's five. Plus today."
"Awwww, Roy, that's sweet," she said to him, hugging him again.
"And by the way," she muttered in his ear softly, "I love you too."
He didn't reply, just held her even tighter. When they broke apart, he grinned again.
"Wha-" Riza began to ask, but he silenced her with a quick wave of his hand.
"You know, lieutenant," Roy said conversationally, and she knew that he was acting. "When Hughes said that he was lucky he didn't have to call for backup, he wouldn't have had to call very far…"
"I know," she said, masking her confusion. He inclined his head ever so slightly to a nearby bush, and she could've sworn she heard a twig snap.
She turned away and pulled her gun out in a way that Roy couldn't see where she'd produced it from, and turned back. He wasn't surprised to see it, and she took aim.
BANG!
She fired a shot just above the bush, where it embedded itself into a tree that was behind it. She heard a rather girly yelp, and the bush moved, to reveal none other than Havoc, Breda, Falman and Fuery.
"You boys have some explaining to do," Hawkeye demanded, and Mustang was furiously clicking his fingers again.
"Well, uh, we were originally spying on Ed and Winry, but then Havoc saw you two and we came over here, and…" Breda stammered. The gun dropped.
"Edward and Winry? What are they doing?" Roy asked.
"Um, nothing too serious. They're over there if you're wonderi-" Fuery didn't get to finished as Mustang got up and, with the support of Riza went over to the direction the sergeant had pointed to.
The couple found the teens in a rather… compromising… position. Ed was on top of Winry, and the pair were kissing intensely.
"Whoa, I'm an adult and even I didn't need to see THAT," Roy sounded disgusted. Riza agreed. Ed and Winry sprang apart, looking up at the two military personnel. Winry was blushing, and looking down at her feet. Edward was completely red-faced and began yelling at them to leave them alone.
"Sorry, but I thought that the Heimlich was a better method of getting someone to breathe, shrimp." Roy couldn't resist, he had found the Full Metal Alchemist in a tight spot and wasn't about to let the opportunity slip.
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE COULD FIT INSIDE HIS JACKET POCKET!"
Winry sighed again, pulled out her wrench, and whacked it over the back of her boyfriend's head. He fell like a sack of potatoes.
Riza smiled. "Glad you found a better way to deal with him," she told the girl, "You have to instill fear in them." The girls shared a knowing look, before Riza took Roy by the hand and led him away.
They went to a different spot in the park. Okay, so it was a different park altogether- they didn't want to be spied on again. He leaned against a tree and she once again rested her head on his stomach.
"So, Hawkeye," he began. "What was that all about?"
"Oh, nothing. Just a little something I talked to her about after she used kissing as a way to shut Edward up when he goes on one of his rants."
He laughed. "Good. The kid might get what he deserves."
"You're just as bad as he is…" she said and he pouted. She sat up slightly and kissed him, and he stopped pouting. She laid back down again.
"Oh, Riza?" he said, suddenly remembering something. He slid her gun out of his pocket. He had obviously picked it up from where she'd dropped it when she was talking to the office crew.
"Can I put this back?" He grinned at her, and she slapped her forehead.
"No, idiot. Give that here," she said, and with lightning speed she had it out of his hand. She then turned away again and put it where she had got it from- down her cleavage.
"Aww, you're no fun…" he pouted yet again.
"And you're always pouting. Get over it." She laughed again.
Without warning, he leaned down and kissed her passionately. She was slightly surprised, but not displeased. When his warm lips left hers, she muttered "Happy Valentine's Day, Roy."
"Happy Single's Awareness Day, Riza." He smiled and the couple hugged again.
BANG!
The sound sent the five men running. Hawkeye was here, and she wasn't in a good mood.
Or was she? She came through the door, followed by a black-and-white furball, with a slight smile on her face. She put her bag on her desk, kissed the top of Roy's head, placed a pile of around fifty pieces of paperwork on his desk, and told him that if he didn't do his work she would shoot him.
For some reason, he didn't doubt her for a second.
Owari
A/N: THE END! Lol, I had no idea that story was going to be so long. It was meant to be a one-shot, but I just kept going. So it's still a one-shot. Just a really long one-shot.
I hope I didn't bore you all with this stuff. The idea just came into my mind and wouldn't leave me alone until I hurried up and wrote it all down.
Please review! There's a little box thingy right here that says Review This Story. Remember I can't write better until I know what's wrong….
Anyway. Flames will be used to boil the kettle to make mocha. X)