Somebody To Die For
Love.
Neuroscience tells us it activates the same parts of the brain as habit-forming addiction.
It makes us feel like we can do anything, be anything, achieve anything.
And once we taste it, we want more.
The thing about love is, when it's good, it's so very good, and when it's bad, it hurts so much. And if you can't find a way to balance all those ups and down, it will make you crazy.
Crazy Love; Meredith Grey
Derek and Meredith were walking on the ferryboat deck, they was on his way to SeaTac Airport, enjoying the ride with the ferryboat over the Sound.
It was a bit windy but okay, Derek didn't mind the wind. He could hear seagulls cry, somewhere in the distance a ship tooted loudly. It was probably just about drive off and now wanted cast off, leaving the docks behind and with using the horns it wanted to make sure that other ships, small tourist trip shipping companies and sailboats, release the shipping passage. He leaned against the railing and looked out of the ocean. Meredith joined him, reaching for his hand. The wind brushed through her hair and she looked at him smiling. Derek had changed his opinion and let her come with him, saying he could use the accompanying of his wife. Also, they would have a little alone time. Maggie came over to their house. She was taking care of the children, getting them ready for daycare.
It was a sunny day and that was rare in Seattle.
"I wish this could be a simple trip with our family, I think I'll take a day off when we come back and take the kids with us. What do you think, Mer? Riding the ferry all day with me and the kids?" Meredith laughed happily and put her arms around Derek. She felt safe in his arms.
"That's a wonderful idea, Derek." She told him, as she looked out of the water. "You love ferryboats, so why don't show your love of the Seattle ferryboats to your kids …" "Exactly." Derek only replied and kissed his wife shortly on the forehead. But as always the ride with the ferryboat was too short and sooner than they thought, hence the fact that time always passes faster when you do something you like; just as now, they were on the other side of Seattle. But they were stuck in traffic. It seems like half Seattle was going to the airport today.
Derek sighed loudly, his hands on the steering wheel and they seemed to be getting nowhere. "We won't miss it, Derek and even if we do, we're going to call and tell them that we've tried but are currently stuck in traffic." "That always seems to be the case when I need to go somewhere." After another ten minutes, Derek had enough. "Okay, this is crap. We're not standing here for another thirty minutes. I know a shortcut." He explained as he turned the car. "A shortcut to the airport, there aren't any …?" Meredith asked skeptically. "You know a shortcut to the airport, there are no …" Meredith tried to reason with the neurosurgeon. But Derek knew what he was talking about.
"You are never gonna make your flight." Amelia told him over the phone with her hands in someone's brains while being on the speaker phone with Derek who was currently on his way to the airport. Dr. Bailey was in the operating room with her, watching and assisting her performing brain surgery on a patient with an aneurysm. They were performing a basilar aneurysm clipping.
"No, we'll make it." Derek's voice answered, driving sounds could be heard on the other end of the line. A nurse held the phone near her ear while she was operating and both talking. She exchanged a glance with Bailey who immediately interjected: "You won't. You are gonna miss your flight." That was Bailey who spoke up after Derek protested that they'll make it in time even though they won't. He'll never make it to the airport, he just doesn't know it yet. Derek was driving on some deserted road near the end of the fricking world and has almost reached end of reception. On the left and right of the road, there are bushes and sand, nothing more. "And who is that? Amy, is that Bailey on the phone?" He asked over the hands-free speaking system so that he can have both hands on the wheel while driving. It's just safer that way. "Yep, you're on speaker phone, Derek." "And I'm not going to miss my flight." Derek said, he was sure about that.
"I have a secret shortcut." He reasoned.
"Yeah, we have, we're going to be at the airport in no time." Meredith added, she and Derek exchanged glances. "I'm going to lo lose you here in a second." Derek warned them. Amelia Shepherd and Miranda Bailey responded in synchrony: "There are no shortcuts to the airport. Meanwhile, Derek noticed that he was going to lose reception soon. "Cell phone reception is bad." He said, the line crackles and Derek could hear their reply on faintly. The signaling signal weakened with every meter he drove.
"Derek, Meredith, are you still there?" Amelia called out, fearing that they just got out of range of reception. "I can't hear you." She added. Apparently, Derek did hear her and answered with a louder voice: "I said I am going to lose cell phone reception. It's bad here …" Derek explained over the phone, knowing that Amy probably only heard bits and pieces. After he got no answer from his sister, he asked: "Amy … still there?" Amelia heard him but not really. "Derek?" She repeated her brother's name. "Amy?" It was Derek again who called his sister's name. "Amy, are you there?" Derek's voice was only faintly to be heard. The line crackled and then free - line signal. Derek has lost reception now, she concluded, that must be driving on a lonely, deserted road.
"Lost him." Amelia said to the nurse as there wasn't coming something from the other line. Derek was driving his car in a normal tempo, almost within range of the tempo limit. "So there's really no reception." Meredith said after they lost Amelia. "Yeah, told you so." Derek grinned as he drove the car while turning up the radio. "Okay, okay. You win." Meredith smiled. Then, there was this other car behind him. It was speeding, way more than it was allowed on this road. Derek looked in the rearview mirror, seeing that the car was right behind him.
Derek sighed. He was sure that the car driver of the car behind him was preparing to overhaul his car to get a speeding ticket. Too bad that here are no red-light-cameras … Then it switched to the other lane and drove away, speeding. Derek could hear the other car's engine. "I'm doing more than ten miles over the speed limit … That's not fast enough for you?" He asked irritated by the other driver's arrogance. Meredith just shook her head. Why do some people always feel the need to speed and endanger other people's lives? He didn't get it. He was rolling his eyes as he watched the car drive away, of course he was sarcastically speaking. He sighed as he watched the car disappear out of his view. Then he turned up the radio.
"Wow, that car's really speeding." Meredith noted.
"Yeah, we're already doing ten miles over the speed limit." Derek said, shaking his head a bit.
"But we're not that reckless. We're not trying to overtake, even if we're definitely running late."
"We won't our flight, Mer." Derek said patiently. "Oh, we will do miss it, I have in my bones." Meredith told him. "Stop psyching yourself out, Mer. We'll get to that meeting and then we go home and live our happily ever after." Derek said. "Happily ever after sounds good." Meredith replied as she watched the landscape go by.
"You, me, Zola and Bailey and then we'll ride this ferry all day long - this is going to be so much fun." "You forgot about our third one, Mer." Derek grinned as he dreamed of another little Meredith or Derek. He wanted another one with Meredith. Their family was perfect so why doesn't throw another perfect little baby in the mix? "You have forgotten about the whole hostile uterus, Derek." "We've got Bailey." He reasoned without letting his view of the road. "Bailey was a fluke, Derek. A perfect little coincidence that happened for some reason after the universe screwed us, once again.
Also, I have the odds on something going wrong again. Remember that C-section that turned into a splenectomy?" Meredith asked back. She wanted it too, but she just couldn't say it. Another baby seemed to be a good thing, maybe they should try. #
"Of course I do. The wait wasn't so fun." "Bleeding out on the OR table and at the same time directing my care wasn't so fun too." Meredith added, rolling her eyes at the memory. She had been telling Shane what to do so that she wouldn't bleed out on this table when she was about to lose consciousness.
Then suddenly, out of nowhere, Derek noticed there was another car driving ahead of the crazy driver. He was trying to overtake that car too – just as he did with Derek. But apparently, Derek had been luckier than the other car.
Derek shook his head in disapproval and confusion.
Why was the driver speeding like this?! But they weren't prepared for what was coming next. There was another car and they both saw that the speeding car was trying to overtake the other like it did with them. But this time it would go horribly wrong. The black car broadsided the white car which was sending them both flipping and overturning - in the middle of the air. Their car was right behind those cars.
Derek and Meredith were frozen for a second but then … "Derek, damnit, brake, you need to brake." Meredith screeched out in panic.
This isn't how they would end. They have two children to think about.
"Just shut up, you shouting isn't going to help." Meredith did what she's been told to do. It was just the stress that makes him react that way. Derek stomped on the brakes, trying to get the car to stop. Then he felt the car stop abruptly, it was coming to a hold. Somehow, he feared that this would result in a catastrophe. Then the black car fastened its tempo and in the process the car it hit the white van on the side. There was a loud bang and he heard some tires blow, then the force of the impact sending both of cars, the black one and the white one, flying into the air. Derek was shocked when she saw the whole thing.
Immediately, he stomped onto the brakes harshly.
"Come on, come on, brake, damn it." He cursed his car. It wasn't fast enough coming to a hold.
His breath hitched as he looked out of the windshield.
Both cars were in the air, flying. Both would be crashing down in a few seconds and if he wasn't able to stop his car in time, they would crash down on their car, killing them most likely instantly. That was the harsh reality. Both cars went down, now everything happened in slow motion. For a moment, Derek couldn't see where he was because of the dirt that got catapulted into the air, blocking his windshield and preventing him from seeing what was happening around him. He could hear something screeching. In that moment, both other cars crashed down on the road. The ground vibrated a bit and dirt flew up, blocking the view. He breathed in shock, then the cars hit the ground resulting in a deafening noise.
"Holy …" Meredith was the first one recovering from the shock.
"That could've gone wrong in so many ways." They just had witnessed a ferocious car crash.
"Derek, are you okay?" Meredith asked, she was just checking. "Yeah, fine. What about you?" He asked. "I'm good, Derek. We need to get out and help the people in the flipped cars. Triage them and get them to the hospital." Meredith stated, already opening the door and stepping out of the car. "Let's save some lives, shall we?" Derek said. Meredith nodded imperceptibly. Derek followed her example. For a moment, both surgeons stood just there, looking at the damage that has been done.
"Should I call for help?" Meredith asked.
"It won't do anything, Mer. No reception, remember?" Derek reminded her, his eyes focused on the cars. He desperately hoped that the people were still alive. "You take the black car, I'll take van." Derek said, coordinating everything. Meredith nodded without objection. She was okay with that.
"Let's save some lives." With that, they parted and hurried over to the cars.
But, as prepared as we might be, we usually don't see disaster coming. We can try to envision the worst-case scenario, to foresee catastrophe.
But, when true disaster strikes, it often comes out of nowhere.
And when the worst really does happen, we find ourselves completely blindsided. You just have to hope that when it's your turn, you'll know what to do, how to cope, how to persevere.
Derek ran to the SUV. He found a woman trapped inside while Meredith made her way over to the crushed black car. "Ma'am." He said after running over to the flipped car. He looked back, seeing Meredith kneeling down to check on the passengers. But she couldn't see any of them, She looked in the car but there was no one.. But they have to be here somewhere. It was lying on its back, the wheels were in the air. Crap, Meredith just thought, this can't be good. "Hello?" She called out. It was lying meters away from the white car. It was totaled. Meredith already feared the worst. This wasn't looking good. Then she heard a faint calling of help: "Help." Meredith turned around.
"Hello." She called, looking around, trying to find the other drivers. For a moment, she just stood there. Then there was a call for help and someone whimpering. She walked over to where the sound was coming from, finding a woman lying off-road near the bushes. "Can you tell me your name?" Meredith asked, glancing at her. "Alana." She answered, still crying a bit. Meredith kneeled down and checked for breaks, doing a primary survey. "You probably got the wind knocked out of when you hit the ground." Meredith told her and asked: "You feel any pain?"
"I don't think so." Alana answered. "Does it hurt anywhere?" She asked. "No." Alana was starting to freak out. She wasn't supposed to be here. "I have to go, I have to go …" She wanted to stand up but Meredith stopped her from doing it. "My phone's not working, why is my phone not working?" She asked frantic. "Listen to me. You're probably in shock and that's why you can't feel anything right now. But if there's something wrong with you we won't know until she shock wears off. So I need you to slow down." Meredith told her.
"Okay." She smiled at her reassuringly. "I am supposed to be in school." She told him. She asks if that's why she was driving so fast. "I wasn't driving. Charlie was. It's his dad's car." She answered faintly. Meredith looked at her for a moment before taking off to find Charlie. She found him wandering down the road. He was in shock, had a large sticky gash on his forehead and couldn't recall what happened. "Hey." Meredith called out, seeing him. "Hey Charlie." She called over, the boy was finally noticing her. He walked over to him, then upping his tempo a bit. "Hey, stop." He started running over to him. "You're okay?" He was staring in the opposite direction. "Yeah, I'm fine."
He told Meredith before turning around. When Meredith saw the boy's face, she didn't know what to say. He was so not fine. He has a head injury. They should do a CT when they get him to a hospital. He was acting confused, keeps asking her what happened. She should get Derek. This was his kind of thing. Then the boy said: "I'm not … I'm not feeling so good. What … happened?" The boy got out. "There was an accident." Meredith told him. After assessing the injury, Meredith told him to sit down. "Sit down, sit …" But the boy was adamant about not needing to sit down although Meredith knew better. "What happened?" He asked. "You need to sit down, we don't know the fully extent of the injuries …" Meredith tried to tell him.
"Ma'am, do you know what happened 'cause I really don't feel so good." Meredith watched him, seeing the blood: "No, no, no." After that, he collapsed. Meredith tried to catch him but Charlie already hit the ground. "Charlie."
"Oh my god Charlie, what's wrong with him? Why isn't he saying anything?" Alana asked hysterically.
It was flipped, lying on its side.
Derek hit against the car window he was trying to get the woman's attention. But the woman kept calling for Winnie. Derek knew he had to look for her. Without hesitation, he made the decision to climb on the car, trying to get a better look. He climbed onto the top of the car to talk to Sarah. "Winnie … Winnie …" Derek heard her getting hysteric. "Hey." Derek was now looking through the car window, recognizing a nearly hysteric, blonde woman, she was wearing a
red shirt, calling someone's name. Maybe it was her child's name. "Winnie." Derek interrupted her: "Hey, I can't open the door." But the woman didn't seem to hear him. But after getting her attention, Derek was able to get some information out of her: "What's your name?" He asked. She answered softly: "Sarah." Then he wanted to know about Winnie, the woman looked at him with fear: "Who's Winnie?" "She's … she's up in the back. She's trapped." She spilled out. Derek nodded.
"I'm gonna go check on her." Derek told her, trying to calm her down.
"She's okay, she's alright, isn't she?" Sarah rambled, she was probably in shock. "I need you to calm down. Just take a few deep breaths." Derek advised her. "Stay calm, I gonna be right back. Stay calm. Try not to move." The woman nodded terrified, something could have happened to Winnie. Then Derek crawled over to the next car window, part of it was open. "Hey." He said, shielding his eyes so he can look inside of the car. He can see a little girl. She was just looking at him with big eyes. She wasn't talking. "You're Winnie?" Derek asked, part of him feeling relieved when the girl nodded in reply.
"I'm Derek. Are you hurt?" He asked her, scanning her for any visible injuries. Winnie shook her head. She's not talking because she thinks she's dead. "Then why can't you talk?" Derek prodded further. "I think I am dead." She answered, her voice shaking slightly. "Am I dead?" She asked, moving her eyes to Derek. Derek suddenly had an idea how to show her that she wasn't dead. "Lift your wrist so I can tell you." Derek smiled at her and saw how she held her arm out to Derek. After finding her pulse, he said: "Well, you're not dead. I know that because I can feel your pulse … and do you know what that means?" He waited for her to answer. "What?" Winnie asked in a scared voice. "It's means your heart is beating and you can't be dead if your heart's still beating.
See, I am doctor and I'm telling you if you think your dead, just feel your pulse." He released Winnie's arm and she did as he said. After a few seconds, she felt the pulsating artery while touching her wrist. Derek was right. She was not dead. "I can feel it." She slowly said. On Derek's face, a hint of a smile could be seen. "I'm not dead." She said, as she could not believe it. "You're okay." Derek added. "I'M OKAY, MOMMY." She called out, wanting to tell her mother that she was alive. "Winnie, are you okay?" Sarah's voice still sounded hysteric but when she heard her daughter, she calmed down a bit. Derek moved back to Sarah, asking her whether she has a working cell phone or not. "She's okay. She's fine. Do you have a cell phone or … I need to call for help." Sarah looked around, seeing her phone on the seat next to her. It had scratches on its display. "Yeah, I … I see it, it's shattered." She told him anxiously. "It doesn't … matter anyway … here's no reception. There's no cell signal." After that, Derek was searching for the other drivers. "I have to check on the other drivers so I'm …" But Sarah interrupted him.
"What no, you're leaving us? I just said there is no cell signal …" Derek told her that he has to. He was going to check on the people in the other car and see if they have a cell phone. Sarah doesn't want him to leave, but he has to. "I'm going to check on them like I checked on you … and then I'll be back. Okay, I will be right back." Derek's hand was touching the cold window and finally, Sarah was able to calm down. "Promise?" Her voice was breaking. "Promise." Derek replied before he jumped to the ground. He runs over to the other car.
"Guys, are you still doing okay in there?" Derek asked Sarah and Winnie who were still trapped in the car. "Yeah." He heard Winnie's voice. "Are you getting us out now?" Sarah wanted to know. "I need supplies. What do you got in the back?" Derek asked in a hurry. "First aid kit and a backpack." Sarah answered his question. Without a reply, Derek goes over to the back quickly, holding something hard in his hand to shatter the glass, now he was talking to Winnie: "Hey Winnie, it's safety glass. It's not going to hurt you but I need you to get back, alright?" Derek told her what to do. Winnie did as he said without doubting or questioning him. Derek then shattered the glass, quickly leaving the danger zone. When it was safe again, he went to check on Winnie who was still ducked. He also found the first aid box full with supplies. "You're not going to leave us again, are you?" Winnie asked in a scared voice. "No." Derek replied as he climbed into the van. "Are you able to move?"
"Yeah." Winnie answered and she tried to stand up which was not easy in this place. Derek watched her.
"Please be careful." Sarah directed to Winnie, referring to glass that was shattered all over the place. "Please make sure she's careful." She told Derek, while trying not to move very much. "Okay, Gotcha." He shielded Winnie's head with his head as he lead her out of the car. "Yes, she's out." Derek told Sarah who was still stuck in the overturned car. Then Derek followed out.
"I'm good, Mom." Winnie glanced through the opening to assure her mother that she was fine. "Okay." Derek was back too: "I'm going to be right back." "Not going anywhere." Sarah called out, finding her sense of humor even in a situation like that. Derek and Winnie walked a few meters away from the car. "I'm going to help your mom. How about you go down there and keep them company." Derek pointed over to the others waiting by the other car. "The people who hit our car? No thanks." Winnie dismissed his suggestion, she didn't want to meet these people who were responsible for what was happening. "I'm good to wait here." "There are bandages in here. They could use them." Derek tried to convince her. He didn't want her to watch the amount of pain her mother's going to be in. "My Mom's gonna be in a lot of pain and you don't want me to see it." Winnie deduced.
She knew what he was trying to do. "No." Derek said a first but then he corrected himself: "Yes." Winnie looked at him for a moment before saying: "I can deal with this stuff. My dad died right in front of me. We were fishing in the lake and he had a heart attack on the boat and died." Derek's face expression changed. Life just wasn't fair. It reminded him of his father's death. He had watched it too, as did his younger sister Amelia. "Do you fish?" Winnie's voice got him back to reality. Yes, he does but when he thinks of the story, he decided it's better to say no.
"No." Winnie didn't reply to that, she was just looking away.
"Everything's going to be okay, Winnie." Derek tried to assure her but the girl didn't quite believe him.
"You're not god. You don't know …" Winnie told him. Derek only nodded, she was right. "I'll go wait with them." Winnie told him and went over to the other car. Then Derek prepared himself to free Sarah, he was about to shatter the glass. "One, two, three." He counted loudly, giving her time to prepare for it. At the count of three he did it. "Oh, I love this car so much." Sarah said, groaning as Derek reached for her arm. "It's the first car we ever had … and now some rich guy in a midlife crisis just …" She looked over to Derek. "I mean you saw him right? Total pig, right?" She asked. "He was a seventeen year old kid." Derek replied. "Crap. Now I can't even hate him. I bet his parents are awful …"
Derek interrupted her: "Listen, we need to get you out of this car." "I know that I should be in pain and I don't know why I'm not in pain, if it's shock or if it's that my legs hurts so much that I almost can't recognize it. So maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to get me out." "Sounds like you've dislocated your hip. I'm gonna go get you out of this car." Derek told her. "Okay."
"And then we're going to pop it back in." Derek murmured.
Sarah focused on breathing. "I'm not gonna lie, it's going to be horrible." He told her. Sarah stared at him for a moment.
"What happened?" Charlie asked. "There was an accident." Alana told him, she had her cell phone in her hand and was walking around, trying to get a cell signal but so far without success.
"What happened?" Charlie kept asking that question. It really seems like a concussion or more.
"There was a car accident, Charlie …" Then she cried out in pain, reaching for her stomach. Winnie looked up, frowning. Something was wrong. "Are you okay?" She wanted to know. It was bad enough to be stuck in the middle of nowhere, a bad injury adding to mix wouldn't do anything good. "My stomach cramps really bad. I think I am going to throw up or something." In this moment, Charlie asked again: "Where are we?" Alana turned around, obviously angry at him, "We had a car accident. Okay, we had an accident." Alana's tirade was interrupted by Sarah's painful screams.
All of them looked up. Winnie flinched a bit but no one noticed.
"Okay, stop." Sarah groaned from the pain. Derek had just finished pulling her from the car. "I need to fix your leg." "No, no, no. We can wait for help you know." She rambled, not wanting to experience that kind of pain again although she had to. "'cause help is coming." She ended. Derek glanced at her. "No, we need to do it now. Your dislocation has cut off your blood supply and if I don't do something you could lose it." While Sarah was digesting that, Derek was preparing to reduce Sarah's hip dislocation. "Wait, wait, wait." Sarah stopped him. "Okay." Derek looked at her for a moment. Then he did it. She doesn't want him to, but he says he has to because it cut off the circulation to her leg.
He quickly reduces it while she's distracted. "Oh my god." She got out as pain shot through her.
"That's good." Derek smiled. There was now blood flow again due to him doing a closed reduction. "I hate you." Derek just smiled a bit. Then Winnie came running, she pointed at the car while yelling that the car is on fire. "Charlie's car, the car's on fire." She screamed.
/
"Charlie?" A woman asked as Derek had helped out the driver of the car that had caused the accident.
"Why isn't he moving?" She asked with fear in her voice. "I need to find a first aid kit." Derek only said in reply. He wasn't very fond of him because he was the reason this had happened but he was a doctor, so no judgment coming from him. So he was just opening the luggage trunk of the car, seeing if he could find it.
Later: "You've got to be kidding me." He mumbled, only to be interrupted by a hysteric call coming from girl: "The car's on fire."
Derek looked up in shock. Suddenly, he felt a slight amount of pain coming from his chest but he just shook it off. The car was on fire. He turned around, instantly shouting over to the woman and her injured boyfriend: "Hey." He started running over to the car as fast as he could. "Alana, run." He shouted. He knew it would explode in the next few seconds. "But what about Charly?" She almost cried.
"Go wait by the car." Derek ordered as he attended to Charlie Then he was helping him up. They needed to get away from here.
"Come on, Charly you gotta get up, come on." Derek repeated urgently.
"Get up, come on, come on."
Meredith looked up in shock, she was just talking to him when they got interrupted from Winnie. She saw Derek running over to the car that was on fire to get Alana and Charlie who were still there, who weren't aware of the danger they were in. Meredith knew that this wasn't good. She had been in a situation like this before. More than just once. "Derek. Please don't do anything risky." SHe whispered. "What is going on?" Winnie asked the surgeon.
"The car, it will explode." Meredith answered, fear evident in her voice.
"Come on Charly, you gotta get up." Derek urged him.
"Hey you." Derek got up as fast as he was able to. But the boy didn't hear him. He would have to be in shock or something, otherwise he wouldn't be doing this. He would see that this car would explode in the next few seconds.
Then the car exploded as Derek and the boy he helping were trying to get away … Then everything happened in slow motion. Derek's eyes went wide with fear as he realized what was happening. "Come we have to get away before this thing blows." Derek called out, trying not to panic. This was turning into a disaster, this was turning into a total disaster.
This wasn't how he had it planned out.
He wanted to be with Meredith, he had promised her he would be back and he wasn't thinking about breaking that promise.
"Derek ..." Meredith shouted. "You need to hurry."
"Move." He said to the boy, who had trouble keeping up his pace. But they had no time. Any time this car could blow up. But the blast was faster than the both of them. The blast was much faster before Derek could react or do anything at all. But they made it in time. When they made it to the others, the car exploded. But Derek was okay.
After Derek laid Charlie on the ground, he felt Meredith's arms around him-
"I was scared. Derek, don't do something this risky again." She whispered. "It's not just you, it's a family, our family." Derek kissed her quickly before reassessing the situation. Meredith was helping him ...
„That explosion is huge." Winnie noted as she stared at the car. Smoke was escaping the car, there were still flames coming from the car. "See that smoke?" Derek asked her, Winnie nodded in reply. "Someone's going to see it and going to send help." He explained. The car exploding wasn't so bad. It means someone will notice it and most likely is going to send help. Which is good, because here is no reception and with that no way to phone for help. "Like a smoke signal." Winnie suddenly said. Derek looked at her for a moment. "Hm." He replied, turning to her. "We're so rescued." She smiled happily as she said that. A big grin covered her features. They were going to be saved. Derek walked over to the others who were still lying on the ground waiting for help. "You just need to hang in there for just a few minutes." He told them, checking once again their vital signs.
"I shouldn't be there. I am a mathlete. I take 5 AP classes. I play in the band. I have a perfect attendance record. I haven't missed one day at school, not one day. I am boring. Charlie is the prom king. He's in remedial math. He's never even heard of AP. But he asked me if I wanted to go on a ride. Something must be wrong because that happened." Alana told them. Derek glanced over to her, she was kind of clutching her stomach. "Ah. My world is shifting and I am on a road and I just flew through the air so something must be wrong because this isn't supposed to be happening. Charlie's brain is broken and my stomach is killing me …" She grimaced in pain.
"So I'm obviously not supposed to be here."
Derek went over to Alana and has Winnie help him put her on the ground. "Look at my eyes. Look at my eyes." He told her as he stabilized her by grabbing her shoulders so she wouldn't fall. "Okay just look at me." "Derek?" Winnie asked, sensing that something was wrong with Alana.
"Derek?" Meredith asked and came over. She figured they needed a general surgeon.
"Okay, we need to get her to lie down now." He ordered. "Easy, easy." He said as he and Winnie laid her down on the ground. Alana groaned suppressed. "Nicely done. Now I need to have a look at your stomach." He realized Alana had a serious abdominal injury. "It hurts." "I know." Derek answered. "I just need to take a quick look. Look at me, just look at me." He opened her shirt to look at her stomach, which is lacerated and severely bleeding. Sarah saw it and she couldn't help but made a sound that sounded like 'Oh my god'. "Sarah." Derek scolded her. "Derek." Winnie addressed him, she didn't budge when she saw the organs being exposed although it must have been a shock for her. "What's wrong me, am I dying … oh, no I … what's happening?" Alana was freaking out. Derek applied pressure to the area. He tells her he can take care of it. "No, you just have a little cut in your tummy. I can take care of it." They ask how and he thinks about it. "How?" Winnie asked, followed by Alana: "How are you going to fix it." Derek's mind went into overdrive. He needed to think of something. Alana noticed his hesitation: "You don't know, you don't know, oh my god … I'm going to die out there." "Don't say this, it's insulting. I don't let people die. I am very god at my job, at what I do. Just let me think of something."
But the truth is, you don't know how you'll react to your worst-case scenario.
None of us do. Not until it happens.
"You did a great job, guys." The paramedic told them as he watched the first ambulance drive off. Then he turned around and climbed in the second ambulance. After all the ambulances were gone, Derek glanced over to Meredith. "Guess we won't be there in there." He said. "Yeah, but at least, they're all alive." Meredith only replied. Saving lives was the thing she was born to do, even in situations like this. "Hm. It's a beautiful day to save lives." Derek said. "Second that. But maybe she should get going to the airport. The president's not going to wait forever." Meredith said.
"Wait for what? I mean I am resigning. And I will do it, definitely. So let's go and get these papers signed." Derek said and cupped her cheek with his hand.
They were both having a moment.
But what they didn't know is that this would change in a matter of seconds.
Then he kissed her. Softly but longingly.
"I love you, Mer. You and the kids are the best thing that's ever happened to me." Meredith didn't reply.
Derek glanced at her for a moment, seeing that she was thinking. "Mer, what are you thinking about?" He asked. "I was just thinking about Bailey and Zola and how grateful I am that they weren't in the car with us. I mean what if you hadn't been able to brake? What if our car had been the one to get broadsided? What if it had been us?" Meredith asked these questions. "It also made me realize that I want it. Our baby, I want it." A happy smile covered her face, her eyes sparkled as she waited for Derek's reaction.
"You want us …" Derek looked at her, a smile could be seen on his face.
"Really, are you sure?" Derek couldn't believe it. "Yeah, I want this with you. Life is short and as we've both seen today life is short or it can be in unfortunate cases. But yes, I want a third one with you, Derek" She smiled at him warmly.
He pulled her into her hug, pressing her against his body.
Then they kissed, a long kiss while standing in the middle of the road but since there were still two other car wrecks lying around that need to be removed from the street, they couldn't continue their journey anyway. Then they made their way back to their car, in their minds already at the airport on the way to D.C. When they both were in the car, Derek started the car and was in the middle of making a U-turn. Meredith looked out of the window for a little moment, not quite seeing the truck coming out of nowhere.
When they saw the truck, it was already too late and it slammed into their car.
It just hit them, crashed into their car. Both of them heard loud screeching noises, the breaking of metal and then there was a loud bang.
Then an impact and then there was silence. Only two seemingly unconscious figures were there. Derek lost consciousness almost instantly, Meredith stayed awake but held her eyes closed to protect them from the glass. Glass shattered loudly, breaking into tiny pieces and imbedded themselves in their skin. But she was scared as hell, this wasn't supposed to be happening. Then it stopped. Meredith opened her eyes. It took her a second to remember where she was and what she was doing here. Then she thought of someone important, she didn't hear him saying anything. Derek, please be okay, please be okay, she told him in her head as she leaned over to him, the seat belt cutting off her oxygen supply and leaving her gasping for air. This was not fair, so not fair. They just escaped from an accident and now another car hit 'em? What are the fricking odds of that happening? Meredith's mind already assumed the worst. "Derek, Derek, damnit, open your eyes." She told him frantically, pulling herself together although she was on the verge of being a mess.
Victims of a sudden impact are some of the hardest to treat.
It's not just the collision that injures them, it's everything after.
The centrifugal force keeps them moving; tossing them from vehicles, throwing them through windshields, slamming their internal organs into the skeleton, their bodies are injured over and over again.
So there's no way to know how much damage is actually been done until they stop.
You can't prepare for a sudden impact. You can't brace yourself. It just hits you. Out of nowhere. And suddenly the life you knew before is over.
"Ma'am, you need to lie down. You have been in a serious accident." The paramedic tried to get through to Meredith who was still hovering over her husband's unconscious figure. She had tears in her eyes but she didn't allow them to fall. Derek needed her to be strong and she would be for his sake. He needed her. "It's Doctor." Meredith snapped without even bothering looking up. Her husband needed medical attention. She'd stabilized him in the field but they needed to get him to a hospital right away, time is crucial. "Derek … please, I'm begging you to hold on. Please, don't leave me. Hold on." Meredith cried, her fingers constantly feeling his radial pulse. It was there but only thready and weak. But it was there. She was relieved about that.
Meredith, I'm right here. Why can't I speak? Meredith, don't freak out, you can do this.
Derek was looking right at her, he opened his eyes for a second and looked at her. Meredith's breath caught in her throat. "Derek. I'm here." Meredith squeezed his hand slightly. Derek only blinked to show her that he'd understood her. He was still unaware of what had happened. The car accident, a semi had been crashing into their car. Derek tried to focus on his breathing and on Meredith who was there hovering over him while the paramedics were working on him. But she didn't leave his side for a second. After they had assessed his status and stabilized his spine, they put him on a gurney and in an ambulance. "Wait, I'll come with you." Meredith called out and wanted to follow her husband but was held back by a paramedic. "No, you need to get checked out." He told her but Meredith had other ideas, she was fine. Derek wasn't. He needed a real doctor, like her. Not these morons. "I'm fine." Meredith insisted as she climbed into the ambulance that was bringing Derek to the hospital. "You're in shock, you could be hurt and not…" The paramedic told her. "… and not feeling it due to the adrenaline that has been set free in the moment of the accident, I know. I am doctor and I'm telling you I'm okay." Meredith said as she checked Derek's vitals again. This time the paramedic didn't object. They stayed stable. Also, they had Derek breathing on his own and he was semiconscious en route. He was managing his airway so that was good.
I know you're scared and not able to talk but please Derek, breathe. Just breathe. We got this. I got this, Derek. You just focus on breathing.
Meredith tried to tell him that without words, just by looking into his blue eyes. Pupils weren't dilated but Meredith knew they should do a head scan to be sure that there is nothing going on in his brain. "Where are you bringing him?" Meredith suddenly asked an important question that could determine the care he gets. "Dillard Medical is the nearest hospital." The paramedic answered. "But they don't have a trauma center." Meredith had heard from the hospital and she knew that it didn't have a trauma center. "I want him to be taken to Grey Sloan, it's the nearest hospital with a level I trauma center, he deserves the best care, he just saved four people who have been in a major car crash. He needs to go to Grey Sloan." Meredith told them in a serious voice. "We can't do that." "Yeah you can, he needs the best care there is and that's Grey Sloan. We both work there, he is a doctor and so am I." "He doesn't have the time." She got as an answer. "So call the helicopter and airlift him." Meredith told them, she wasn't about to give up, not yet. "I want him to receive treatment there." But then his sats when down and the monitors started beeping loudly.
"Pulse ox has dropped to 89. What happened?" The paramedic exclaimed. Why was there a fall in his saturation? Meredith looked up in fear and at his heart monitor. Meredith noticed that his heartbeat was bradying down.
No, Derek, come on, don't cop out on me now, she added in thoughts.
"He's bradycardic and hypovolemic. He needs fluids now. He losing too much blood, we need to replace it." Meredith had taken over. She wasn't in panicky wife mode. She was in doctor mode because Derek needed her to be. "How many minutes till …" Meredith asked, knowing that time was running out. He was running out of time. "ETA is two minutes." Okay, two minutes, they were two minutes out. He could take two more minutes. "Just hold on for me, Derek." Meredith whispered.
Right move, Mer. You got it.
Then they arrived at the hospital. Obviously not Grey Sloan as Meredith told them. They hadn't listened to her. Meredith watched Derek being taken to a trauma room and followed him. "I'm with him at all times." She made it clear that she won't leave him alone. She wanted to oversee every move. She didn't trust them with the life of Derek. This was a hospital in the freaking middle of the end of the world. It was obvious that the universe hates them, after all they've been through it felt the need to add a car crash, that could have been or still be fatal. They still didn't know whether Derek will survive or not. Meredith didn't know what will be. She was scared as hell and so was Derek. "No, no." The ER doctor called out. "When it rains it pours." The paramedic said as the ER doctor told them that they were a trauma center and not properly equipped for this kind of thing. "It needs to pour somewhere else, we're not a trauma center and we are not properly equipped for this kind of thing." Meredith's blood boiled. How can he say that? First priority is the patient, not that what he does. This is highly inappropriate. "Just shut up and get him inside." Meredith took over commands. "Who are you?" The doctor asked confused, frowning. Meredith didn't pay attention to what he was saying.
"Dr. Meredith Grey, I'm a doctor … his name's Dr. Derek Shepherd and he needs medical attention right away, maybe you should alert the OR, it's pretty obvious he has internal injuries. Clear a trauma room, now." For a moment, the doctor shook his head before following her commands.
I can't feel my arm. What is happening?
No, I have a head lac … Don't miss, don't miss …
"We can't let you be in there. You're …" She got told by an orderly but Meredith didn't even think of listening.
"… I am a doctor and I am staying. Now go and do your job, your job you're supposed to be doing instead of telling me to leave. I am not, though." Meredith was worried. "Okay, let's get him inside. His pulse is thready and up to 130." Someone said after a view to his cardiac monitor. "Hang on for units of blood." Someone ordered. Derek knew they were working on saving his life and he also knew that Meredith was there somewhere, probably scared out of her mind. Then he felt slight pressure on his hand. Meredith, was his first thought. And really, it was her. She was sitting on a chair near his head to not get in the way of the doctors.
I'm alive, I am alive.
Huge head lac, so I've probably suffered multiple fractures. Try and hold still.
"He has a head lac and probably multiple fractures." Meredith told them, holding it together. "Be quiet and let us work. John Doe, MVC, poorly responsive, possible loss of consciousness." He ran it down only to be interrupted by Meredith. "How can he be John Doe if his wife is standing here? He's not John Doe, this is Dr. Derek Shepherd, neurosurgeon. He is not John Doe." Meredith snapped at them. This was her Derek lying there in that trauma room, all bloody and injured. "Listen to her." The younger doctor told him. Then she asked: "Dr. Shepherd, can you hear me?" But even when he tried to answer he couldn't. Meredith saw he was struggling, knowing that he could hear them.
Yes, I can hear you, loss of verbal signs - possible bleeding in the brain.
But she never got an answer. "Pupils are equal and reactive." The younger doctor said, listening to his breath sounds. "It's okay Derek." Meredith whispered. "It's all going to be okay."
That's a good sign, still should get a CT.
Meredith listened anxiously, assuring Derek in quiet words that he would get out of this alive. She would make sure of that. But she stayed out of the way, not wanting to block anything. She would cut in if they'd do the wrong thing, like not taking him for a very much needed head scan when they don't know the extent of the head injury, and that could be fatal for him. But Meredith wouldn't let that happen. She was aware of everything that could happen or could be and she will press them into doing it. She won't back down.
"He got a filled chest, I need a 36-French tube now." The younger doctor ordered as she heard only muffled respiratory sounds. "He's still hypotensive and tachycardic after two fluid boluses." The male doctor interjected. He's losing blood. Why don't you get that, Meredith thought. "He's bleeding into his chest." The younger doctor noted and put on gloves before she got ready to do the chest tube. "Hang two units of blood in the infuser. I need a trauma panel, an x-ray and cross them for four. Can somebody page surgery again?" She called out. At least, one is doing it right.
She's smart. I like her.
"I'm sorry but we have to do this." She warned her patient, Meredith watched her reaching for the chest tube and a scalpel to make a small incision. Then she pushed the tube in which caused Derek to gasp loudly in pain. Meredith flinched a bit but nobody seemed to have seen anything. "That must have hurt, I'm sorry." She said. Then they did the scans of the pelvis and chest. Also, they did a quick but thorough emergency sonography. "C-spine, chest and pelvis films are up." Someone announced.
"The head scan can wait." "We don't have a handle on …" "We don't have the time." "The extent of the head injury. He is a surgeon and he just saved everyone from the car crash that came through." The doctors disappeared out of the trauma room, leaving Meredith and Derek alone. "Derek." She whispered. She was scared of losing him, she didn't even care about getting herself checked out although she knew that that was kind of reckless when knowing what could go wrong. She could be bleeding internally and they wouldn't know until it's too late. "
Just fight. I'll fight for you too. I'll get them to do a CT. I will be with you the entire time, if they allow me. I will call Amelia, she'll do the neuro part if there is something that needs to be surgically removed. I'll … you'll get out of this alive because Derek, you can't die on us. What about our third one? He or she needs to know his or her daddy." Meredith wiped away tears that were rolling down her cheeks. Derek looked at her, wishing he could say something but his speaking skills were all gone. He simply wasn't able to talk. "Do you hear me? For yes, blink two times and one time for no." Meredith tried to find a way to communicate with her husband. He blinked two times. Meredith smiled under tears.
"You hear me. I love you, Derek, okay? I love you. Please don't give up." Meredith begged.
Derek blinked three times. Meredith didn't know what three blinks mean. She only worked with one and two. Derek tried to smile reassuringly but there was just a weird grimace. "Is it 'I love you'? Are you saying you love me, our family?" Meredith finally asked, her voice nearly breaking. Derek blinked two times. Now Meredith had to suppress a sob that threatened to came up. When the doctors came back with the films, Meredith snatched away the films they made and looked them over, quickly assessed them.
"He needs a head CT."
She is right, you don't.
"Systolic is down to 72. What the hell is happening? He was stable." Meredith called out frantically as soon as she saw his heart rate and blood pressure going down. He became hypotensive. Then the monitor set off an alarm. "He's crashing." Meredith called out frantically. No, this can't be it. Within seconds, Meredith was starting the chest compressions. Luckily, they had the crash cart on standby. Within seconds they've put a backboard under his back and started with resuscitation. For a moment, the older doctor was frozen, his eyes were on the monitor, this wasn't supposed to be happening. He was supposed to live. The younger doctor assessed the situation within seconds, asking Meredith what happened: "He started bradying down and "Get out." The older doctor told her while grabbing the paddles and waiting for a nurse to charge them.
"No, I'm not leaving him." Meredith had tears in her eyes. Derek was crashing. He was crashing and all she could do was standby and watch it happening. Edie had started CPR. "I am charging to 120. Clear." The older doctor stopped for a moment and when the monitor still didn't pick up a rhythm. Derek's lifeless body jerked up and Meredith choked back sobs that threatened to come up. There was still no change. "No change, he's still in ventricular fibrillation." Maggie called out, refusing to give up. She wasn't about to let her sister's husband die on her with Meredith watching. They charged again and this time it worked. "Charge to 200. Clear." Derek responded, finally. Meredith gasped as she saw the sinus tachycardia on the heart monitor.
They've got him back. "Sinus tach, we've got him back." Edie announced, while she was staring on the monitor.
He groaned as pain shot through his head, causing him to flinch. It hurt, it really did. Meredith saw the pain written in his eyes.
My head, look at my head. This isn't right, you should have taken me to get a head CT.
"His pressure is holding, maybe we should get the scan." Edie suggested. "Yeah, you should taking him to get a head CT which you could have been doing instead of discussing his need of a head CT when he obviously needs one." Meredith sounded angry. "He already coded once." "But he is stable now, plus he's opened his eyes again. He is stable enough for head CT."
I'm going to die because these people aren't properly trained, why aren't they listening? Meredith is absolutely right, I taught her well. They could be prepping for a CT instead of squandering time. But Meredith wouldn't let that happen, would she?
Derek was completely sure of that.
No you don't, you have the time.
Guys, I'm stable. I am stable. Take me to get the head CT.
"Derek, they'll do the scan. Just calm down, do it, for me." She said softly. He started breathing heavily, closing his eyes. Meredith looked at him worried. This wasn't indicating anything good. The machines he was connected to started beeping heavily.
Listen to her.
His pressure was tanking and his heartbeat was nearly borderline tachycardic.
Whatever they wanted to do, they had to do it fast before it was too late. They were walking on borrowed time, so much was clear. "It's okay, we've got you. It's all going to be okay." Edie assured him. Some doctor took her syringe and injected something that made him feel tired, he wasn't able to see everything that was going on around him. Therefore, he guessed that they sedated him. They started with securing his airway after the sedatives have made him incredibly drowsy. He heard someone saying: "Prep for intubation, we need to secure his airway."
Yeah, well, if you do the head scan … otherwise I'm so screwed or maybe brain dead. So listen to Meredith, he silently pleaded.
But they didn't seem to hear his desperate plea. "I'm so sorry but we need to get him straight to the OR." The older doctor explained. "Have you done a head scan?" Meredith demanded to know. "No, you haven't." "He's not stable enough. He already coded once. We can't …" But he was cut off by his wife who opted to fight for him. "He is stable. BP's holding steady as does his heartbeat and even his pulse oxygen is on an acceptable level. There is no way that there is no time for head scan. Do it." She screeched, she was about losing patience with the doctors treating Derek.
"We don't have the time. We can't risk him coding in there a second time."
Listen to her, moron.
She knows what she's talking about.
She is a surgeon …
"Do the head scan!" Meredith yelled, agreeing with the younger doctor because she was right.
They didn't know the extent of the head injury. "He needs a CT." Meredith repeated in a louder voice. "But you've seen the ultrasound, there is a lot of blood in …" The older doctor spoke. She knew it, these people were not properly trained to handle trauma as she was. She got proper fundamental trauma training in her surgical residency. But these people haven't, they aren't as qualified as she is. Meredith watched everything, the drop in his sats and them placing a chest tube to relieve the pressure when he was having a hemothorax.
C'mon, Mer. You got this. Don't back up now. You got this.
"… his abdomen, yes I have seen it. But as a general surgeon I feel safe to say that this can wait. The head CT can't wait. Now do it, I'm his medical proxy, and with that authorized to decide what care's best for him. So do a CT." Meredith insisted on them doing a CT. "Ma'am, you're too close to decide anything. Emotion can cloud judgment." The doctor reasoned.
Meredith ignored that and answered: "They're not clouding anything. I have my emotions on track. I am not, okay maybe but that's not the point. The point is that you're killing him with not doing a CT. I am working in a Level I trauma center in Seattle. I know the drill, I know when to do a head scan and when not. He's getting the credit for that. He's everything to me. So please do the CT. He needs one." Meredith first looked at the older doctor and then at the younger doctor who sided with her. "She is right, we have the time, I already told you this, now we need to get moving and get these head scans done." The younger doctor, her name which Meredith believed was Edie, said urgently, gripping onto the gurney tightly as they began moving. "Okay, fine. But if he codes or starts bottoming out in the scan, I'm blaming you-"
The older doctor sighed as he released the brakes.
"This is not about placing blame, this is about saving my husband's life." Meredith gritted out. "Okay, let's get him to CT, we've wasted enough time." Ugh, finally they got it. They released the brakes and ran over the hallways to get him down to CT. One doctor had started bagging him.
"Films are up." The tech said.
Meredith eyes were fixated on the monitor. Her eyes were fixated on the unmistakable brain bleed. Derek's brain was bleeding. She only had seconds to wrap her mind around that. If they had missed this, Derek would have died. He still could, there were no guarantees for anything. She had to call Amelia. She is the only one who can fix this.
She has to.
It's the nightmares that always seem to become reality.
Meredith's finger hovered over Amelia's number. Her eyes were red and puffy. She was worried, worried about Derek and worried that these doctors here would kill him. She should transfer him. She knew she needed to call. At least, she made them do the head scan. She'd seen the results. They were going to need the best neurosurgeon there is. Amelia was the only one she trusted. Not these morons at this hospital who almost killed her husband by not doing a head scan. Finally, she made the call. They had no time to squander. Time is everything, decides whether Derek lives or dies. She desperately hoped that the latter won't happen. "Amelia Shepherd." A voice answered. Now Meredith would have shatter her world. "Amelia. You need to come." Meredith's voice was breaking. She took a few deep breaths and was trying to compose herself. Derek's life was on the line here. "Meredith, is that you?" Amelia was surprised, why was Meredith calling her now? She had a surgery to get to. But she didn't know what happened to them, to Derek. Why they were in hospital at the end of the freaking world.
"Who else should be? Yeah, it's me. You need to come." Amelia frowned.
That sounded serious. Also, reception wasn't the best. It seemed like they were pretty wide outside.
"Meredith, what's going on?" Amelia pressed the phone tightly against her ear. Meredith's voice sounded like she had cried. This was so not good. In no way this could mean anything good. Also, they were supposed to be on a plane, flying to Washington D.C. for a meeting with the president and other NIH members and Derek was finally resigning. Meredith knew it could be ending different. But now the cards have changed in one way more than the other. This could end in a total different way. A way she'd never wanted to imagine. "Mer, what the hell is going on? Where are you? Aren't you supposed to be on a plane right now?" She asked, worriedly.
"We … there's been an accident, Amelia. I'm okay, I think I am. But Derek, he isn't okay. We need you here. These guys are morons. I'm going to have him transferred as soon as he's stable. But Amelia, he isn't going to get stable when these brain bleeds aren't fixed. Their neurosurgeon isn't available. We need you. Ask Hunt if he's okay with you taking the helicopter to Dillard Medical Hospital now. Time's critical." Meredith choked back sobs that were coming up her throat. She had been strong for a long time.
Now was the first time where she really sees the danger that she has come incredibly near to losing him today.
"I am ready to put him under." The anesthesiologist said while starting to put him under general anesthesia. While Meredith made an important phone call to Amelia, the other surgeons started operating on his abdominal injuries. When Amelia was there, they would have to work simultaneously in order to save them but that was okay. It was a sacrifice she was ready to make.
Well, that's better than being dead, I guess.
"He's hypotensive. Betadine." The surgeon ordered and made the first cut. Somewhere into the surgery, the older surgeon said: "He needs a bowel resection and we have to create a temporary colostomy.." "He's got a grade II splenic lac." Edie said as she catched view of the patient's spleen that was partly ruptured. The older doctor ordered, while working on another organ: "Best leave it. Check the four quadrants."
Meredith would leave it and she would double-check the retro hepatic space.
"Recheck retro hepatic space." He announced.
Not bad.
Check the chest tube.
In this moment, the monitor began to beep loudly. "Damn it, drop in his sats." The anesthesiologist said, warning them. "Decreased breath sounds on the right." She said after listening to his respiratory sounds. "Chest tube looks good."
Check it again.
But after a second look, they saw that there was too much blood. "Crap, he's got a huge hemothorax. We have to open his chest. Thoracotomy tray." He ordered. "Scalpel." He ordered and made the cut.
No, just wait. See how much blood comes out, it'll probably stop. Just wait.
Derek was the only one in this room who really knows what is going on and what is happening. "Where is the neurosurgeon? We need him." "They're calling one from Grey Sloan Memorial. She is on her way. Five minutes out, apparently." Someone answered. He had a hemothorax, so the older doctor opened his chest, but that didn't solve the problem. "Persistent bradycardia."
This day was getting worse every second that passed.
"What? Repeat that. You have been in an accident?" Amelia asked shocked while she left the scrub room running through the hallways searching for Hunt. "Where the hell Hunt?" She called out, Bailey and a few other doctors staring at her. She covered the receiver of the phone with her hand as she saw the asking glances of them. "Do you know where Hunt is? I'm supposed to be flying to Dillard Medical as soon as possible. They need a neurosurgeon and they requested me. So, I need to get going, someone …" Amelia breathed heavily, closing her eyes for a second. This can't be happening, her standing there in front of Bailey, April Kepner, Maggie Pierce and some others screaming at them.
"Amelia? What is going on?" Callie asked.
"There's been an accident. It's Derek and Meredith. They haven't made it to the airport. Mer's banged up but okay, at least physically and not emotionally speaking. Derek … I just need a helicopter getting set up to fly me over." Now they were starting to get it, finally. Response time is critical. "Okay, it's okay. I will inform Hunt, you go take care of that situation. Call if you need anything." Callie spoke up after she heard about everything. "Thank you." Amelia said before heading up. In the next minute she was sitting in the helicopter that was taking course toward Dillard Medical Hospital. She hoped she wouldn't be too late. She would never be able to forgive herself.
Fifteen minutes later:
"Okay, people. We have to work simultaneously." Amelia said as she entered the OR after she scrubbed in. Her heart was beating hollowly in her chest. "Who are you?" The older surgeon asked. "I am …" Amelia said. "I am the only available neurosurgeon and yes, I have privileges. Let's start." She said and said: "Scalpel." She remembered something.
"It's a beautiful day to save lives. Let's have some fun." She said her brother's words.
The other surgeons looked at her, obviously taken aback. Then she started the craniotomy. She knew Derek was running out of time and she knew she had to work fast if she wanted to save his life. "It's a thing." Amelia said while concentrating on Derek's bran that was exposed in front of her. She'd never thought she would see the insides of Derek's brain. But now, there was no other choice.
She had seen the films: large epidural hematoma that needs to be removed immediately.
An hour into the surgery Amelia enforcedly performed, Derek's condition suddenly changed abruptly. His condition took yet another dive downwards. She had barely started to evacuate the hemorrhage when Meredith suddenly began to get unstable. Amelia Shepherd's heart beats hollowly in her chest, she is barely able to keep herself together. But she has to - for Meredith and for Derek and for their kids so that they don't lose their father. She knew what it was like to grow up without a father, she can't do that to Bailey and Zola.
They deserve a father, like Derek and her.
But their Daddy died. She had no, absolutely no control over this. And that was what scared the crap out of her.
When the neurosurgeon hears the alarming sound of the cardiac monitor indicating irregularities in her patient's heartbeat, she looks up, her eyes fixating on the monitor that was beeping irregularly. "No. " Her voice breaks through the silence as if she couldn't cannot accept that something is going wrong. "His ICP has gone up, his brain's swelling, damn it." Amelia exclaimed, her voice scared and terrified.
"Amelia, calm down and think." She told herself.
You can do this, Amy. You can do this.
"These seconds decide." She closed her eyes for a second, racking her brain for something that would help. "Push of mannitol. It should help reducing the pressure ..." She ordered, her heart raced. She can't be the one who killed Derek. She had no business being in this operating room anyway, what did she think? "... and prevent of further swelling." She finishes the sentence for her. Edie glances at him shortly, then she focuses back on the surgical field. Mannitol is effective because it do not cross the blood-brain barrier (much), and thereby draws cerebrospinal fluid out of the cranium and fluid out of the injured brain, reducing pressure and further injury. Luckily, the mannitol helped. After a while his vital signs stabilized and even his intracranial pressure went back to a normal range.
The other doctors in the room breathed a sigh of relief.
"Okay, we're done here." Edie announced as she finished the surgery. "Good." When she finished the surgery, Amelia is relieved that it is over now and that Derek had survived the surgery. But there was still the risk of an increased ICP or re-bleeds that can occur. "Get him to recovery and prepare a bed for him in Neuro-ICU." Amelia commanded, not letting her eyes off Derek for a second. The heart monitor shows a regular heartbeat but that doesn't have to mean anything.
A beating heart is not the only thing that needs to be considered. There are other things too - brain activity is one of the important points. "Yes, doctor." A nurse replies as she pushes the gurney with the recently operated on patient, in this case, Derek out of the operating room. She still can't believe that she actually operated on Derek since he is her brother and all, Meredith's husband. That was against so many rules. But right now she didn't care about that. "Also, schedule a post-op Head - CT. I want to make sure I've catched everything and that there aren't any slow bleeders that might cause problems in the future." "Sure thing." She got as a reply. "I did it." Amelia Shepherd said as she breathed in deeply, closing her eyes for a second, trying to compose herself. She was in the scrub room of a hospital she doesn't work in.
She just operated on her brother, her own brother and with that dismissing and breaking all possible hospital rules and anything like that.
But none of that mattered because Derek, her brother and Meredith's husband, was alive and breathing right now. Everything else was just trivial. It is not important right now. What is important is planning Derek's transfer over to Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital as soon as he's stable.
When she came up to Meredith, she saw how exhausted her sister in law looked.
"Just tell me straight out, I can handle the truth." Meredith said. "I fixed it, the bleed. I fixed it. Now he just has to wake up." Without replying, Meredith hugged Amelia tightly. "Thank you, oh god. It must have been hell, right?" She asked. "Yeah, my mind was constantly circling around the fact that I might have killed my own brother, my only brother, singlehandedly." Amelia confessed. "But he's okay now. Now …" "We have to wait." Meredith said. "Yeah." "Should we call someone, like your mother?" She then asked. "When I tell her that I have operated on my own brother, she's …" "We don't have to tell her that." Meredith answered. "I want him transferred." Meredith continued.
"I … want him too, to Grey Sloan. The doctors there are way more qualified than here."
Meredith sat on Derek's bedside. He was still intubated, he was just lying there.
He did not look like the Derek she normally knew. This Derek was vulnerable, two hours post-op. At least, he was alive, his heart was beating and by the looks of his EEG his brain worked. So that was good news, actual good news. Around him were all sorts of catheters, monitors that were monitoring his vital signs. His cardiac monitor was beeping monotone. Meredith reached for his hand, pressed it slightly, she smiled at Derek for a moment.
"You know, you can be proud of Amelia, Derek. She stopped your bleeding in the brain. I can't imagine what that must have been for her, operating on her own brother. But if she hadn't you would have ended up brain dead. That would have been a lot worse for all of us." She told him, hoping he could hear her somehow. "I am glad that you didn't die today, Derek. You promised me 110 years and I am not about to settle for less." Meredith whispered into his ear but the only reply was the constant beeping of the monitors. But even that was okay.
"I want to have him transferred as soon as he is stable." Meredith told them in a harsh voice. "Transfer him to Grey Sloan Memorial. You can medevac him via helicopter." She said. "I just need to sign the transfer papers." She demanded. "Dr. Grey, we're …" "Just do it." And they did. On post-op day three, they prepped for transfer.
Five days later
"Meredith." Derek said, his voice hoarse from the intubation. "You saved me." He said. Meredith looked in his blue eyes, she'd thought, she'd never see these eyes again. "Amelia did." Meredith replied, kissing his forehead softly. "Meredith." Derek repeated her name, his voice filling with love for his wife and his family. "Meredith, you have saved my life. Without you I would have been dead. You got them to do a head CT. You did that, Mer." He said, looking at her. Meredith gaped at him. "You remember?" Meredith asked him, a shocked expression covered her face. "Yeah, I remember you staying and watching over every move they did. I was conscious for the most part …"
"And in pain." Meredith added, she could only imagine what that must have been like for Derek. Not being able to say anything and just lying there, hoping that the doctors would do the right thing and not screwing this up. "Yeah … I love you, Mer." He said, his eyes sparkled in joy to be alive, to be breathing right now because he knew it could have ended differently. It could have ended with him being braindead or in a coma. But he was very much alive and breathing right now and he was thankful for that.
"I love you, Derek. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I'm not just saying this because it would be appropriate in this situation, I say it because I mean it. I love you Derek and if you ever pull something like that again … I will bring you back to life and kill you."
"I did what I always do." Derek said somewhat tiredly. Meredith heard it in his voice. It was strained. "Hey, don't make jokes. I was scared." Meredith scolded him softly, tears shimmering in her eyes. "Don't be scared. I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here. And I am not going anywhere." "That'd be …"
"I know." He replied.
"Just come here and lie with me." Meredith laid down next down, careful not to hurt him.
A/N: Amelia operating on Derek is unrealistic and it won't happen in reality, I know but this fanfiction ... Please review.