Taking the Plunge.
I look around my apartment and smile. There are pillows and blankets thrown everywhere and half of the furniture has been rearranged. I look over to my lounge to see a very tired Parker Booth watching some show about a talking yellow sponge. In an attempt to make my apartment more presentable I pick up a blanket and begin to fold it. I was mentally kicking myself this morning once I realized that in an effort to please Booth I had somehow gotten myself into the situation of playing babysitter to Parker for the day. I was so scared and I think Booth could detect that. He told me not to worry, he could call Rose but I had insisted that I was able to do it. I deal with people's unrecognizable remains everyday but he thought I couldn't handle a 5year old kid. I was going to prove him wrong.
I'm so exhausted though. I never new kids could be so much work. Pulling my hair up into a loose bun I sat on the floor and watched Parker. So far the day has gone smoothly. This tiny human being in which I have nothing in common with has been the only person to completely force me out of my comfort zone. In a matter of hours he has broken through the walls I put up when my parents left. I feel like a child again. All day we have been building pillow castles, playing hide and seek and we even watched a movie about a talking fish. It is the most fun I have had in years although I must say, I don't approve of all the children's shows in which things which, in reality cannot talk, are talking.
"Dr Bones, I'm really hungry." Mentally slapping myself I jumped up. I had completely forgotten that Parker needs to eat more frequently than I do.
"Ok, what do you want to eat Parker?"
"What do you have?" I sighed. Are all kids like this?
"Lets go take a look in the pantry."
"Okay!" Parker bounced up, slipping his hand into mine and dragging me into the kitchen.
"How about spaghetti?" I ask as I examine my pantry. There is not much in there; I really should go shopping if Parker is going to come over. No, it's just a one time thinking, he will probably never be over again. I was surprised at how much that thought hurt me, but shaking it away I concentrated on the child in front of me.
"No that's boring."
I smile weakly and kneel down in front of Parker.
"You know when I was a little older that you I used to say the exact same thing to my mother? And you know what she used to do?" Parker shook his head and I fought back tears at the thought of my mother.
"She would go and get all the different types of pasta we had and cook them all together."
Parker began to jump up and down.
"Yes! Lets do that! Please."
Standing up, I began to look for some pasta. Besides the spaghetti, I managed to find small amounts of four other types of pasta, one of them being tomato flavored. That would add a nice bit of color to the mixture. Parker was still bouncing up and down besides me. I smile at him. I have never felt anything towards children but lately when I'm around Parker and even just talking about him with Booth I get a warm feeling inside me. I don't know what it is but today, being around him for so long, the feeling just keeps getting stronger. And every time I look at him I see Booth. He looks so much like his father its scary. Lifting him up I sit him on the bench beside the stove.
"Now do you want me to put all these different types of pasta in?" Parkers face lights up.
"Oh yes please." I smile at his manners. Booth would be proud. Once the water had boiled I poured in the pasta.
"Ohh can I stir Dr Bones? Please?!"
"You certainly may." Handing him the spoon I made sure to stand very close as he began to stir.
The next 10 minutes were filled with laughter as Parker and I kept trying the pasta to make sure it was cooked. Unfortunately we always seemed to get the raw pieces.
As I was draining the pasta I saw a little hand place the ketchup bottle on the bench beside me.
"You want this sauce?" I ask confused.
"Ahuh."
"Why? I have so much nicer sauce than this that was actually made to be eaten with pasta." Parker shook his head.
"Daddy and I always eat it with this sauce." I sighed in defeat, although still confused.
"Well if this is the sauce your daddy uses than this is the sauce we shall use."
The pasta turned out quiet nice, despite the plain ketchup we used. I finished my meal quickly but it seemed Parker was having more fun eating each individual piece of pasta, something that turned out to be quiet messy with the spaghetti. I was cleaning up the kitchen when I heard the door bell. Parker knew it was Booth straight away and bolted to the door. I could hear them in the next room as I quickly finished cleaning up.
"What's cooking Bones?"
"Nothing. We have already cooked lunch. Parker is just finishing eating now."
"It's just an expression Bones." He laughed as he made his way back into the dinning room. What is it with him and his expressions?!
Booth sat across from me, lifting Parker up and placing him in his lap.
"Wow, check out your lunch buddy." Booth chucked. Parker pointed to me.
"Dr Bone's mummy used to mix her pasta when she was my age. Don't worry daddy she will teach you how to do it." Parker quickly went back to his food but Booth on the other hand was trying to recover from choking on his drink at the mention of my mother.
Standing up I grabbed Parkers now empty bowl.
"Breathing is a necessity. Every human being needs to be able to do it. You should practice sometime." I attempt to joke as I hurry out of the room. I expected Booth to follow me but I was surprised when he didn't. After composing myself I went back into the dinning room to find it empty. I called out to Booth but got no response. Assuming he had left I quickly changed into a tank top and some sweat pants and collapsed on my bed. Today had been both physically and mentally exhausting. I never liked talking about my parents, nor my childhood especially now after I have found out the truth. I know Booth is always there if I need him but I have never actually opened up to him. At least not completely. I don't know why I told Parker about my mother and the pasta nor such a simple thing is playing havoc on me but it just felt natural to tell Parker. My mind raced on as I slowly drifted off to sleep.
When I woke up I noticed it was dark outside. I wasn't sure what had woken me up until I heard a noise coming from somewhere outside my room. Reaching under my bed for my trusty bat, I crept to the bedroom door. My whole body tensed up when I heard someone on the other side of the door. I could have screamed when I heard what followed.
"Bones its Booth. Where ever you are do me a favor and put the bat down!"
Throwing the bat on my bed I turned my bedroom light on and walked out into the lounge room.
"How'd you know I had the bat?"
"Just a hunch." He gave me one of his smiles. Motioning for him to sit down I offered him a drink.
"No I'm not thirsty. Bones come sit down." I knew what was coming next but I still took my place beside him. I was slightly startled as Booth placed his hand on my leg and squeezed my knee.
"Thank you for looking after Parker today. He absolutely loved it."
"He's a good kid booth. Your lucky to have him." I looked away confused by my own words and emotions. Booths hand cupped my face, forcing me to look at him. He studied my face and I knew he was trying to find the right words to say. Something that would comfort me, make me feel better. But about what? My childhood? My life? My lack of love? And with these thoughts I came to a realization. As much as I try to hide it from the world and especially myself there is no denying it. I'm unhappy. Without thinking I close the space between Booth and I, capturing his lips with mine as my hand snakes around his neck. When he doesn't respond I break away and bury my face in his neck, half of me craving the intimacy and the other half too embarrassed to look at him. My embarrassment quickly disappears though when I felt his arm wrap around my waist, pulling me closer. As I lift my head his lips meet mine once more. Now it was my turn to be surprised but in an instant I began to return the kiss, pulling him down on top of me. His kiss was soft and tantalizing, his hand gently cupping my cheek as he slowly took possession of my mouth. Leaving a trail of kisses down my neck he placed a butterfly kiss in the middle of my chest before stopping, his head resting between my breasts.
"Bones, are you sure this is what you want?" Looking up, we locked eyes.
"Only if it's want you want." I place a quick kiss on his lips.
"If we do this, it's not going to be a one time thing Bones. If I'm going to be with you, I want to be completely with you."
"I know." I whimpered as Booth shifted above me, I was so desperate to just feel him. I gently ran my fingers over a scar on his shoulders before slowly kissing it.
"I can't promise you much Booth, but I can promise you I will try." Booth moved so his face was only inches above mine. He just hovered there, studying every aspect of my face. I could feel my heart racing as I began to fear rejection. Without tearing his eyes from me, he placed a gentle trail of kisses from my cheek to my ear.
"I'm ready to take the plunge if you are." A huge smile broke out across my face as I pulled him back to me, capturing his lips with mine.