A/N: I have absolutely no idea. I can't recall thinking about the scene in PoA (which it's based off of) or AVPS at the time (maybe I've seen it so much I'm always thinking about it subconsciously, I don't know) but it seemed funny. This is also my first Harry Potter fic, and it includes a couple of OCs. Yes. I've spent so much time in the Harry Potter fanfiction archive and never wrote a fic, because, well, I suck. Well…here goes. :D
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry freaking Potter or any other character in here that you recognize, nor do I own the song "Hermione Can't Draw". I only own Lauren and Matthew Turner, who may become part of a larger series, I'm not sure.
Malfoy Can't Draw
Still disappointed about the fact that Lupin wasn't able to make it to class and Snape, of all people, was their substitute, Lauren Turner reluctantly began to listen to the latter talk about werewolves, glancing over to see her twin brother, Matthew, seated beside her, listening much more attentively (the nerd). She was saved by the Potter a few seconds later, however, when she saw him unfolding a piece of paper in his hands, and she glanced over to see what it was, Harry seeing that and leaning over slightly to show her.
Apparently it was supposed to be a moving drawing of Harry, in a Quidditch match and on his broom, getting hit in the head by a Quaffle and being struck by lightning.
Lauren raised her eyebrows. Well. That wasn't very nice. Not to mention the fact that it was a pretty crappy drawing. Looking up to meet Harry's eyes, she mouthed, 'Who…?' and he jerked his thumb behind him, towards Malfoy, who was looking rather smug.
Rolling her eyes, she paused and looked at Harry again, a grin slowly spreading over her face. He knew that grin, and she knew he knew that grin.
Without warning other than that, Lauren jumped to her feet and sang, "Malfoy can't draw! Malfoy can't draw!"
The Gryffindors that knew her the best, Harry, Ron, Hermione and Matthew, all joined in; "Malfoy cannot draw! He only reads books and he cannot draw, even if he's reading a how-to-draw book!"
Malfoy, across the room, looked shocked, and looked mortified when other Gryffindors, as well as several students from the other houses (except for Slytherin) joined in as well. Not even Lauren expected that. The other Gryffindors must've shown their friends the videos.
"Malfoy can't draw! Malfoy can't draw! Malfoy cannot draw!" Snape was shouting at them, but he was pretty much ignored; he was barely heard over all of them singing at the top of their lungs. "He only reads books and he cannot draw, even if he's reading a how-to-draw book!"
But Ernie MacMillan, who apparently hadn't been shown the videos, interrupted them and said, "C'mon, guys, this song isn't even that funny." Oh, this was too perfect.
"Oh yeah? Let's see you sing a song, right here in front of everybody!" Ron challenged.
"I don't have to sing for you—"
"Ernie can't sing! Ernie can't sing! Ernie cannot sing!"
Ernie looked appalled at this turn in events. "Yes…yes I can! I can sing!"
"He only reads books and he cannot sing, even if he's reading a how-to-sing book!"
Malfoy wanted to join, now that it wasn't about him. Lauren knew he wanted to, but he couldn't seem to bring himself to. Ah, well. She wouldn't lose sleep over it.
"Ernie can't sing! Ernie can't sing! Ernie cannot sing! He only reads books and he cannot sing, even if he's reading a how-to-sing book! Ernie can't sing—"
"All right, all right! Guys! Hey, guys!" Ernie shouted, interrupting both their singing and Snape's threats if they continued singing. "Malfoy can't draw, remember? He can't draw!"
"Malfoy can't draw! Malfoy can't draw! Malfoy cannot draw! He only reads books and he cannot draw, even if he's reading a how-to-draw book!"
They were silenced when Snape threatened that he would see to it that the next person that sang a word would be expelled.
As it turned out, Snape could give the whole class (other than his precious Slytherins) detention, and Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw all lost fifty points. But Hermione was trying not to giggle (for once not mortified at getting in trouble; God help us all, the world must be ending), and Lauren, trying to conceal a grin, exchanged looks with her brother, Harry and Ron, which made it even harder not to laugh on all parts.
Later, when the news was spread around school, only the older students of the involved houses (except Fred and George, of course, who thought it was as brilliant as they did) were furious. None of the students that had been in the class were mad, though (not counting Ernie MacMillan), and knew that fifty points were easy to win back…as long as they weren't in Snape's class, anyway.
So they had detention, and it was technically Lauren's fault as she was the one that had shown Gryffindor house A Very Potter Musical and Sequel, but she was sure she wasn't the only one who thought it was definitely worth it.
~THE END~
A/N: Written at two in the morning, with a doctor's appointment in nine hours. So…how was it? And if you don't like it, I really don't care. I had fun writing it and maybe some other people will have fun reading it.