Dear Grace,
There's about a million ways I could've started this letter, there's about a million ways that I've tried, but none of them have sounded right. Maybe that's because there's absolutely no right way to start this letter, other than I'm Riley, Riley Matthews, and I'm your aunt.
Not by blood or anything, but that's just about the least important thing I have to tell you in these letters, after all, you're mom, my sister, is the most incredible woman I've ever known, and these days she's got a lot more family than I'm sure she knows what to do with, and besides you and your grandmother, I don't think a single one of them is related to her by blood.
She'll teach you how little blood matters, she'll teach you all the reasons why it doesn't matter, but that's not the story I want to tell you, Grace. I want to tell you a love story.
Cheesy, I know, but aren't all stories love stories in some way? The usual girl meets guy, guy meets girl, or because we're educated people living in a progressive society girl meets girl, guy meets guy, and everything else that comes in between.
The point is, I want to tell you a love story, some of it is girl meets guy, guy meets girl, in some instances said girl being your mother and in other instances said girl being me, and in every instance said guy being your father. But mostly this love story is one about sisters, about me, and your mom, but I just know her as Maya.
Maya, Mom, occasionally Peaches, your mom's the one who assigns nicknames around here, whatever you want to call her, was my best friend ever since I was a little girl, for nearly as long as I can remember.
Before I go any further with this story, I need you to understand two things.
The first is that your parents, your mom and your dad, Lucas and Maya, they belong together, not in that 'you complete me' or 'you make me better' sort of way, but in a way that I can't understand, because I never tried to, but for the rest of my life I'm going to try to, sort of way.
And the second is that we all think we know we want, we all think we know where we're going. At least I did. I thought I knew it so perfectly, that the second your parents started deviating off the script that I had in my head, was the second that everything changed, the defining moment that would lead to the end of our love, to the end of Riley and Maya.
I know this sounds melodramatic and maybe even a little bit exaggerated, but this story's complicated, because that's the way our lives were back then, complicated, and confusing, and all of us - your mom, your dad, me, your Uncle Zay, and your Uncle Farkle - were just trying to do the best we could with what we had to work with.
And we made a lot of mistakes, Grace, and we didn't do the growing up thing so well. At least Maya and I didn't.
You're proof, the fact that you are six months old, and I didn't even know your mom was pregnant is proof of that.
I saw it on a card, just a simple black and white postcard that your parents sent to Farkle. There's nothing overdone about, it's simple and elegant, a lot like your name, and exactly what I would've expected from your mom.
It's just a picture of you, and you're laughing this toothless laugh, and don't ask me how I know, but I just do, somewhere in the background of that picture, your mom is taking it, and you're smiling like that at your dad because there's something about you that just screams 'daddy's girl.'
And written underneath it, is just one sentence that changed everything.
With love, Maya and Lucas Friar welcome a beautiful baby girl, Graceland Beth Friar, on December 13, 2028 at 12:31 p.m., with her mother's eyes, and her father's hair.
I never believed that a single moment could be life changing, I only believed that there were moments where we realized that our lives had already been change unequivocally, until you.
You changed everything Grace, you made everything real. Maya's gone, Lucas' gone, and that's because of me. Because I made your mom choose, choose between me, and him. And maybe because it's a little bit because of them to, but mostly it's because of all of us.
It's because the three of us stopped talking, at some point, we just stopped talking, and then eventually started lying, then we moved on to hurting each other, and finally, something had to give, and we gave up each other.
And because of all those things, I'll never know you Grace, and that's the first thing about all of this that feels real.
It didn't feel real that I haven't talked to your parents in nearly five years, it didn't feel real that I didn't know your parents were even engaged till a year after they got married, it didn't feel real that your dad moved to Chicago to be with your mom, it didn't feel real that eventually your parents moved to Texas, it didn't feel real that I lost my best friend, that I lost my sister, until you.
Until I learned that you were born from a postcard I found in an apartment of the very last person, the very last thing, Maya, Lucas, and I, still have in common. Until I realized that I'll never even know if you are going to go by Grace or Graceland. Until I realized that I'll never get to see it, I'll never get to see your mom truly happy, truly getting everything that she so completely deserves.
But I'll save the beginning of the story for another time, Grace.
All my love,
Aunt Riley