Somehow he always found himself at her front door whenever there was trouble. Or something was just bothering him. Each time, she would let him and make him some tea. They would talk for hours, watch a movie or cook each other dinner. Years ago, they would
But this time it wasn't him who was bothered. It was her. Ziva had left early after they had finished a case they had been working on for 2 weeks. A female lieutenant had been beaten badly by her boyfriend. It turned out that she had slept with one of his friends and she had been pregnant. The beating lead to her losing the child in the hospital. Of course everyone had felt sorry for her, but Ziva had lost all emotion in her eyes when she heard that the woman had lost the child. And when they found the boyfriend, Ziva made sure he paid for it. They had found him at an old warehouse down at the harbor. She was the one who caught him, punching him a little more than necessary. Tony had had to pull her off of the guy and the look they had shared told him that something was getting to her. That she had gotten personally involved in the case. As the guy tried to get away, McGee and Gibbs caught him at the door. Gibbs looked at his two agents, Tony holding Zivas arms and Ziva fighting her emotions. Gibbs let it be, thinking that the discussion that it would lead to was something that had to be kept between them. So he handcuffed the guy and told Tony and Ziva to ride in the other car and that they were expected back at the office in 1 hour.
McGee sat at his desk when Tony and Ziva came back. He had just arrived with Gibbs who was upstairs with Vance. Tony sat down at his desk and started typing on his keyboard without a word. But Ziva stood in the space between his desk and her own. She didn't say anything either. She didn't move. She just looked around the bullpen. Her hair was down and a mess, she looked like she could fall any second. She looked like the time she had been undercover and almost died. McGee got eye contact with her, giving her a concerned expression. She looked away, towards Tony who pretended that she wasn't looking. Ziva bit her lip, grabbed her stuff and left the office without a word.
And now he was standing here. He had just knocked on the door. He knew that she knew it was him. It wasn't like he had a signature knock or something. It was just her gut telling her that it was Tony who asked for entrance. They hadn't talked all the way back to NCIS which was what had bothered them the most. Because they did speak, just using their eyes and body language.
Ziva walked to the door and opened it without a word. She didn't even bother to look at Tony, she just walked back to the couch. Tony closed the door and followed her. They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes. Then Tony finally got the guts to ask.

"Don't hide it."

"Hide what?"

"Whatever it is that you're not telling me about. I'm here so shoot."

Ziva looked up. A weak smile formed on her lips.

"How am I supposed to hide anything from you Tony?"

"Well you can't. I'm a trained investigator." He smiled at her. Trying to make her laugh. But she just looked away. He sighed. She finally spoke after a few minutes of silence.

"I uh .. I lost something in Somalia."

Tony looked at her.

"What Ziva? You can tell me."

"No. I cannot do that Tony."

"Sure you can. How bad can it be?"

"I do not know. I do not even know how to feel about it."

Ziva hid her face in her hands.

"Just tell me."

Tony cubed her back.

"I .. When I was captured in Somalia and .."

Ziva looks up at Tony.

"I lost it Tony." She whispers.

"You lost what?"

"I .. I had a miscarriage."

Tony froze.

"You mean you were-"

"Pregnant. Yes."

Ziva bit her lip. She didn't cry. But Tony could tell how bad she felt. He looked away and sighed. There was a moment of silence.

"I'm guessing he was the father."

"Yes. He was."

Tony nodded and leaned back. Ziva finally broke down and started talking without even considering the painful memories it would bring back for both of them.

"I felt that you had taken something away from me. A chance to have a normal family life. I was only 1 month pregnant but I .. I felt the baby inside of me. I knew that having two Mossad officers as parents would not be easy, and it would probably become a part of Mossad someday but I had this picture in my head of Michael and I, living with our family in Tel Aviv."

"Ziva. I seriously don't know what to say."

"Even before you killed him, I thought about going back for good. Staying with Michael and give our child a life. A safe place to call home. Something Michael and I never had."

There was a long pause. Tony sighed. Ziva bit her lip.

"Did he know?" Tony said this not moving his sight from the table. Ziva looked up.

"Yes. He knew."

Tony didn't move.

"I told him before he went to L.A."

"What did he say?"

"That we would discuss it when he got back. I do not know if he wanted the same things. If he wanted the child of he thought that it was too soon. I was not even sure that I wanted it. I mean it was not at all like I had planed it to happen. But then again, I thought that it was my only chance of having a family. My father would approve of Michael and I was sure that we would figure it all out."

Tony could kick himself at that moment. He wanted to reach for his gun and kill himself. It was his fault Ziva had been going through that.

"I was not sure what to do. I never told my father. He would never have let me go after Saleem but I had to. I felt that I had no one else left in the world and the best way to make it less painful and embarrassing was to die while on a mission."

"You do have your pride huh?"

Ziva ignored his comment. Tony didn't blame her.

"I had hoped Saleem's men would kill me fast. But they kept me alive. They tortured me in ways that I was not familiar with."

Tony wouldn't allow the image to take form in his mind. But he could see it very clearly. Ziva, being tortured and beaten by Saleem and his men.

"I saw no reason to live anymore. But after only a week in the camp, I felt the baby inside of me. I do not know if I loved it. I did not want the child to grow up in a world where there was no hope, to have the same childhood as I did. But I protected it. I kept myself alive for its sake. Saleem got suspicious when I started throwing up every morning."

Tony was nervous to hear the rest of the story.

"An old woman came to me and .. She confirmed to Saleem that I was pregnant. She gave me something to eat and drink. She said something in African and left." Ziva paused."They must have slipped something into my water. Because that night I woke up with the worst feeling I had ever had in my body. I had lost the child and the next morning, a man came and took whatever that was left of it. I saw him through the window where he threw it in a trashcan."

Tony felt his stomach twist. As much as he wanted to throw up he held it down for Ziva sake. Tony leaned forward and put his arm around Ziva. She leaned into his chest and sobbed. They sat like that for hours. Ziva fell asleep against his chest and he carried her to her bed. He laid her down and pulled the sheets up and covered her. He was about to leave when he felt something grabbing his hand. He looked back and met her eyes.

"Stay."

And now it is up to your imagination to figure out what happened next ;) Reviews makes me smiley.

If you've read some of my other stories I have a question for you: I have this really cute family storyline for tiva, but I'm not sure which story to use it in. I would love your opinion (: