Disclaimer I don't own anything. Thank you!
Authors Note: Okay, so I was sitting in my room begging my mind to come up with a story or a oneshot, and I put two terrifying things together. Sharpay and Labor. Scary concept right? So, enjoy!
Isn't She Lovely
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Sharpay Baylor was pissed.
Her husband, Zeke, had to go run get something, but was stuck in traffic due to snow. But that wasn't why Sharpay was pissed.
She was pissed because he had sent two 'babysitters' over to look after a nine month pregnant Sharpay who was due any day now.
She sat there grumpily taking up the entire loveseat, while Troy and Gabriella, her guardians, took the couch. It was nearing Christmas; in fact it was December 20. Sharpay had taken the entire bowl of popcorn Gabriella made and had almost eaten the entire thing while Troy and Gabriella watched in amazement.
They were watching A Christmas Story but Sharpay wasn't paying attention. She was too concentrated on the pains in her stomach. She was set on ignoring them, seeing how this had been happening since the 8th month. But they were coming sharper and sharper each time.
"Shar, you okay?" Gabriella asked concerned as she noticed her friend taking fast breaths.
"Fine…just a stomach pain…" Sharpay said bracing the back of the loveseat and grimacing in much pain.
"Okay…" Gabriella said unsure but trusting her friend.
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Zeke now hated Belmont Street.
Why? Because it was the street he was stuck in traffic in.
Zeke now hated snow.
That was what had caused the traffic. The stupid blizzard. He had his windshield wipers hitting violently against the frozen windshield to make the snow go away.
Street cops were waving people down, but Zeke was going nowhere.
Zeke now hated winter and all it brought.
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"Shit." Sharpay said.
"What's wrong?" Troy asked.
"Did you just pee yourself Sharpay?" Gabriella asked noticing the giant wet spot on the loveseat.
"No Gabriella I didn't just pee myself!" Sharpay snapped.
"Then what's wrong?" Troy asked.
"My water just broke?" She answered as a question as her face went white.
"Are you sure?" Troy asked.
"Of course she's sure Troy!" Gabriella said lightly hitting him.
"I need to get to a hospital." Sharpay stated as a whisper.
"What?" Troy asked.
"I NEED TO GET TO A DAMN HOSPITAL!" Sharpay yelled.
"Troy, uhm…you go get Sharpay in the car and I'll get her suitcase." Gabriella said.
"I didn't pack one…" Sharpay said.
"What do you mean you didn't pack one?" Gabriella asked.
"I DIDN'T PACK ONE AND I HAVE NO TIME! GET ME TO THE DAMN HOSPITAL!" Sharpay yelled.
"What do we do?" Troy asked as he and Gabriella ignored the outburst.
"I NEED TO GET TO THE DAMN HOSPITAL!" Sharpay said.
"I don't know…I've never had a kid!" Gabriella answered thinking.
"GET ME TO A HOSPITAL!" Sharpay shouted.
"Well, we need to think fast." Troy said.
"GET ME TO A DAMN HOSPITAL YOU IDIOTS! I AM HAVING A DAMN BABY, RIGHT NOW, AND I NEED TO GET TO A DAMN HOSPITAL!"
"Great idea Sharpay!" Troy declared.
"Okay, uhm…Troy you go get the car started and I'll help Sharpay there." Gabriella said. Troy dug for the keys in his pocket and ran out the door as Gabriella helped Sharpay up.
"I AM GOING TO KILL ZEKE!" Sharpay shouted squeezing onto Gabriella's entire body.
"Sharpay…those are my ribs!" Gabriella said.
"THANKS FOR THE BIOLOGY LESSON GABRIELLA BUT I DON'T REALLY GIVE A SHIT RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I'M HAVING A BABY!" Sharpay yelled bursting everyone in a 80 mile radius' eardrums.
Gabriella limped out of the house with Sharpay hangin on to the back of her, putting all her weight on Gabriella.
"I'm going to have a hernia!" Gabriella said trying to limp quicker to the car.
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Zeke was not happy.
He was not happy at all. Why? For three simple reasons.
He was missing A Christmas Story, his favorite Christmas movie ever.
He was stuck in traffic during a blizzard.
He wasn't with Sharpay.
Zeke Baylor was not happy.
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Finally, Gabriella got Sharpay into the car with much help from Troy. Sharpay sat in the back clutching her round sparkly stomach as Gabriella sat in the back with her. Troy of course, was driving.
"WHY ARE YOU GOING SO SLOW?!" Gabriella shrieked.
"I'm going the speed limit." Troy said obviously scared of what was going on right now.
"I DON"T CARE IF YOU HAVE TO BREAK LAWS JUST GET ME TO A HOSPITAL!" Sharpay yelled.
"We're in the middle of a blizzard! What do you want me to do?" Troy panicked.
"I think I made it clear…" She started out grimacing. "TO GET ME TO A HOSPITAL!" She yelled.
"Just speed Troy!" Gabriella urged.
"Gabriella, I can't even see out the windshield!" Troy urged back.
"I don't care!" Gabriella said. "Oww Sharpay that's my hand!"
"GET OVER IT!" Sharpay yelled.
So what does Troy Bolton do when two women are yelling at him to speed? He speeds 40 miles over limit.
"We forgot something…" Sharpay said noticing something.
"What now?" Troy asked scared for his life by his own driving.
"We have to call Zeke!" Sharpay panicked.
"Calm down Sharpay…I'll call him." Gabriella said trying to sooth Sharpay's nerves and hormones. Gabriella pulled out her cell phone and flipped through the phone book before getting to the Z's. She hit send and frantically put the phone up to her ear.
Ring…
Ring…
Ring…
"Damn it Zeke answered your damn phone!" Gabriella said to the ringing response.
"WHY ISN"T HE ANSWERING?!" Sharpay shouted.
Ring…
Ring…
Ring…
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'Buzz….Buzz…Buzz.' Zeke's phone vibrated on the kitchen counter…
'Buzz…Buzz…Buzz…beep.' Zeke's phone now read:
1 MISSED CALL
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Sharpay Baylor was not happy. Not happy at all…
Zeke Baylor was finally home.
But no one was there.
He looked at his phone sitting on the kitchen counter.
2 MISSED CALLS
Zeke hit the voicemail button thinking it might've been important.
Gabriella's frantic voice came through:
Zeke, Sharpay went into labor! We're pulling up to the hospital right now! Get your ass over here!
AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! He heard Sharpay scream.
Fast. Like now!
Bye!
Message Deleted.
Zeke ran out to his car and tried opening the door.
"DAMN IT!" He shouted running back inside to get the keys. When he finally came back out he got in his car and sped to the hospital.
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"Mrs. Baylor are you sure you don't want any medication? It will make the pain go away." A man with grey hair, with a name tag reading Mr. Herington, asked.
"No, no, no. I want to do this naturally. No drugs…AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! DRUG ME, DRUG ME NOW DAMN IT! NOW!" She shouted as a contraction came and went. Dr. Herington came up to her with an IV.
"GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME! I'M DOING THIS NATURALLY!" Sharpay shouted swatting the needle out of his hand.
"Sharpay, it'll make the pain go away." Troy said. Sharpay grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.
"I. Said. I. Don't. Want. Any." She said viscously through clenched teeth right into his face.
"Yes ma'am." He said. She released him of her strangling clench and took deep breaths.
"Gabriella, sponge me!" Sharpay instructed. Gabriella took the wet sponge and dabbed it all over Sharpay's face.
"Where is Zeke?" Sharpay asked.
"I called him again when we were in the car, I left a message. He should have gotten it by now…" She said.
"He's probably on his way." Troy said.
"He better…or you two are going into the delivery room with me." Sharpay threatened.
"We have to get Zeke here." Gabriella said to Troy.
"Fast." Troy added terrified.
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Zeke now owed $450.00 to the government for speeding.
But he might never get to pay it.
Sharpay was going to kill him with her bare hands…or something sharper and more painful than her nails.
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After Sharpay bit Troy, Gabriella, and a doctor with a needle she'd finally given into being pain free.
"Oh look…I had another contraction…" Sharpay said mindlessly pointing to the machine.
Troy was trying to get a hold of Zeke while it was Gabriella's job to entertain Sharpay. And the one way she was doing that was by doing her hair, which so far Sharpay thought was pretty.
When truth be told, it was a sweaty blonde afro looking thing. But Sharpay was kind of high, so that didn't really matter right now.
Just then…a doctor walked in to check on Sharpay.
"Alright Mrs. Baylor, we're ready to go to the delivery room. Sharpay's happy smile turned into a frown.
Troy and Gabriella looked terrified…
They were going into the delivery room…
With the blonde beast.
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"I HATE ALL MEN!!!!"
Zeke noticed the familiarity in the shout. He ran up to the counter on the maternity floor.
"Hello sir can I help you?" The elderly nurse asked.
"Hi, I'm looking for my wife, Sharpay Baylor."
"You mean the sparkly blonde who bites?"
"Yeah that sounds about right…"
"Here are some scrubs, change into these and she's the third room on the right." She said handing over turquoise scrubs.
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"Now, c'mon…push!" The doctor instructed.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK I'VE BEEN DOING?!!?" Sharpay yelled.
"Mrs. Baylor c'mon please just push!" The doctor urged.
"AAAAAGGHHHHHHH!" She shouted gripping Troy and Gabriella's hand like it was her only life line. Gabriella was halfway collapsed on the hospital floor while Troy was struggling to hang on to the circulation in his hand.
The hospital door flew open revealing Zeke. However this sight was not pleasant.
"HOLY SHIT!" He shouted.
"ZEKE GET OVER HERE!" Sharpay yelled.
"PUSH!"
"YOU DID THIS TO ME YOU BASTARD!" Sharpay shouted letting go of Troy and Gabriella's hand to put grab Zeke's collar. Gabriella collapsed to the floor holding her hand to her chest. Troy walked behind the hospital bed to Gabriella, even though his hand was on fire.
"PUSH!"
"WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M DOING HILTOR?!?!"
"ONE MORE WE CAN SEE THE HEAD!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Sharpay shrieked throughout the entire hospital.
"Here we go! One more!" The doctor shouted.
"GET THIS KID THE HELL OUT OF ME!!!!" Sharpay yelled pushing.
"Aww! Here she is!" The doctor said…
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"I'm sorry I called you a bastard." Sharpay apologized holding the baby girl in her arms.
"I'm sorry I wasn't here on time…" Zeke apologized.
"What are we going to name her?" Sharpay asked looking at the little girl in a bundle of pink. Troy and Gabriella were sitting in the visitor chairs still in their scrubs watching them.
"I liked Elizabeth…"
"Too many people have that name…I've always liked the name Charlotte." Sharpay said. "Her middle name could be Elizabeth." Sharpay suggested.
"She looks like a Charlotte Elizabeth." Zeke answered.
"Oh, Zeke honey I forgot to tell you something." Sharpay said.
"What?"
"You're getting a vasectomy." She said.
"You're funny." He smiled.
"No joke." She said.
Two big male nurses twice the size of Zeke walked in to the room.
"Good luck…" Troy said walking out of the room with Gabriella.
Zeke Baylor was terrified.
Fin.
Authors Note: That was my little oneshot. Review if you liked it! Please don't flame, it's just a waste of my time and space. Thank you!
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