Rumplestilskin stood in his son's recently cleared bedroom. He sighed. Neal had just left for college. It seemed like yesterday that he was a little boy again. Rumple remembered reading him bedtime stories, tucking him in, playing with cars and scolding him for jumping on his bed. He chuckled, remembering when Neal was a teenager and spent most of his time in his room. A light knock on the door knocked him out of his reverie. He turned around to see Belle standing in the doorway.
"Hey, are you ok?" Belle said with a smile.
"Of course. Just gonna finish cleaning out his room. God knows how much crap is still in here."
Belle chuckled. "Yeah, he sure was a pack rat, not unlike his father."
Rumple scoffed sarcastically. "Hey, I'm a collector! There's a difference!"
Belle walked into the room and kissed him. "Sure there is." She smiled, "I'm heading to the library, I'll see you at lunch."
"Alright, have fun."
"You too." Belle said playfully. Rumple pulled her in for a lingering hug and kiss. "Oh, I'm sure I will," sarcasm ever present in his voice. He gave her a quick peck on the lips, "I love you."
"I love you too." Belle gave him one last hug and then she was gone.
Rumple walked to the center of Bae's room, looking around, wondering where to start. He decided to start with a shelf on the wall filled with Bae's sports trophies. Every trophy from kindergarten to high school was present. Rumple smiled in memory as he picked up Bae's very first trophy: t-ball at age five. It was small with a white marbleized base with a gold figure of a little boy hitting the ball on the tee. It was covered in a thick layer of dust. He wiped it off with his thumb uncovering the words "Storybrooke T-Ball Championship" as well as the year. He remembered that game. Bae scored the final point and he was so happy. Rumple remembered taking him out for ice cream then going home to watch his favorite movie. Bae was so tired that he fell asleep in his papa's arms.
Rumple was on the brink of tears at the memory of that day. He set the trophy down, picked up an empty box and started putting the trophies in one by one, remembering the day he received each of them. Baseball, football, basketball, soccer, lacrosse, and even chess; Bae tried it all, but never really found his passion in sports. He liked chess, but fell in love with photography after taking a class in high school. The house was covered in his photographs.
Rumple closed up the box of trophies, taped it, grabbed a sharpie and wrote "Bae's trophies" on it. He stood up and stretched his back before walking over to the nightstand. He sat on the bed and opened the first drawer. Inside was a portfolio and Bae's very first camera, a Canon 35mm that took film. He took it into his hands and placed it next to him on the bed, then took out the portfolio and opened it. Inside were some of the first photographs Bae ever took. There were several photos of plants, some of different areas of the house like stair bannisters and fancy table legs. They slowly got more advanced like wild animals, tracks in the snow, sunsets, and lightning. Bae would do anything for a picture and now he was going to school to do what he loved most. Rumple placed the photos and camera back in the nightstand. He didn't have the heart to pack them away.
Rumple went through Bae's drawers and closet to pack up his remaining clothes and shoes. It took a while to go through all the left over junk in his closet and by the time he checked his watch it was about an hour until Belle would return home. All that was left was under the bed.
Rumple knelt down on the hardwood floor, much to the chagrin of his bad leg. He looked under Neal's bed and saw a cesspool of junk. It was awful and he didn't even know where to start. He reached his hand out and pulled out a large, clear bin that appeared to have books in it. He took off the lid, coughing when dust flew everywhere and got a look at what was inside. There were mostly books as he had suspected, but there were other items too like Bae's baby blanket and favorite stuffed animal from when he was a boy. Mostly everything was level, except for a few books in the center. Rumple took those books out only to find something very surprising beneath them.
Rumple came face to face with what appeared to be a magazine with a woman on the cover wearing next to nothing. He picked it up only to find another one beneath it. He picked up that one and found another. He did this until there were a total of five in his hands. Each one looked similar with the same name on the cover, "Playboy." He had heard of this magazine before, but did not believe Storybrooke sold it. Where Bae had gotten them he had no idea, and he didn't want to know. He read the cover of the current magazine in his hand. It had several names of celebrities he had never heard of followed by the words "nude" or "takes it all off." Also on the cover were the names of articles that pretended to sound interesting like "A Feverish Year in Sex" as well as the random "How Organized Crime Bankrolls Terrorism."
A realization came to Rumple: Bae must have "read" these magazines as a teenager. Which was most likely the reason why he was always in his room. He just now put the two together. He originally thought that Bae was in his room all the time just because he wanted his space. While that could be true, he believed Bae was always playing video games or talking with his friends. Boy, how he was wrong. He wondered just how much Bae would use these for his own desire, but then pushed the thought out of his mind immediately. He knew Bae was no innocent child, but the thought of him doing something like that made Rumple sick to his stomach.
Instead of dwelling on Bae's past, Rumple decided to relax and sit against the bed, leaning his head back in disbelief. After a moment he picked up one of the magazines again. No matter how vile he thought they were the organized crime article fascinated him. He had no idea why it would be in a magazine like this, but he took it with a grain of salt, opened the magazine, found the page number in the index and flipped through the pages. There were hardly words in the magazine at all, just pictures of nearly and fully naked women. Several were dressed in "sexy" bunny suits and he had no idea why, until he saw a picture labeled "Bunny of the Month." He assumed that was the theme of the magazine, or something like that. He would never be able to look at real bunnies the same way again.
When he found the article he began to read it and found it rather interesting. He was rather engaged with the article when he heard a teasing "Well, well, well. I never took you for the Playboy type, Rumplestiltskin." His body jumped in shock when he looked up to see Belle standing in the doorway, hands on her hips. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. "I always thought you were more of a natural beauty kind of guy. I never expected you to find fake boobs and spray tans attractive." Belle smirked. Her tone was light and teasing so he didn't think she was mad, but didn't want to take his chances. He quickly closed the magazine and lowered it to his lap.
"This is not what it looks like." His face blushed.
"Uh-huh. Then what, pray tell, does it look like?"
"Er… I was going through this bin under Neal's bed and found these magazines hidden inside. I never knew he had them and I didn't even know what they were, honestly. However, one had a very interesting article about crime and terrorism and that's what I was reading when you came in. I'm sorry." He looked down, afraid to meet her eyes. An awkward pause passed between them then her heard Belle laugh.
"Oh, Rumple." She knelt down in front of him and kissed his lips softly. "I'm only teasing. It was quite a funny sight seeing you read that trashy magazine." She giggled again.
"So, you're not mad?"
"Of course not. Why would I be mad? You have told me thousands of times that I am the only woman for you. Besides, those women are all photo-shopped and enhanced. They're not really beautiful and they obviously don't have anything productive to do with their lives." She sat down next to him and started laughing again. "But still, it was hilarious seeing you with it. I should have taken a picture and sent it to Neal."
"If you'd have done that I would have lied and told you I was admiring Miss November's lack of clothing." He grinned.
"Well, I see right through your lies. You wouldn't have fooled me."
"Yes, you're quite right."
"So what do we have in here?" Belle said as she grabbed the magazine from him. She turned a few pages. "Ooh, look her. Standing in a hot tub wearing a crystal bikini. Wonder how much that costs." Belle laughed. Rumple looked at her, puzzled.
"What's so funny?"
"Just making fun of these silly girls. Wonder what their combined IQ score is. It can't be that high if you're gonna spend your day being photographed in a hot tub wearing a very revealing crystal bikini. You can only be so smart, don't you agree?"
Rumple chuckled and smiled. "Yes. Give me brains over brawn any day. Lucky for me, you have both." He rubbed her cheek then leaned in and kissed her. "I knew you were smart from the moment I laid eyes on you." He whispered lovingly into her ear.
"I love you, Rumple."
"I love you too, my Belle." He kisses her lips again before pulling away. "No about the ides of you in a crystal bikini." He grinned. Belle gave him a playful slap on the shoulder.
"Rumplestiltskin! I am ashamed that you would suggest that I wear such a thing! "
"Well, if it was only for me, I wouldn't mind." He winked.
"Don't get your hopes up, mister." She grinned. Rumple picked up the other magazines around him.
"So what do you think we should do with these?"
"Recycle them? Throw them away? No someone could see them. That would be the talk of the town for sure."
"Do you think Neal would want them back?"
"I don't think so. Besides, he has the Internet now for all that. Maybe he'll get a girlfriend, then he won't have to worry about it."
Rumple made a disgusting look. "Oh Belle! I don't want to think of my son doing you know what with a girl." This made Belle laugh hysterically.
"Oh Rumple, you're such a child. Just say it. Sex. You can't picture your son having sex."
"Yes, I can't picture him…" He paused awkwardly, "having sex."
"There you go. And it's probably the other way around, too. He probably can't picture us having sex either."
"You're right. Do you think he's ever heard us?"
"Oh, I'm sure he has."
"Oh, gods." He put his forehead in his hand, embarrassed. Belle put a hand on his shoulder and chuckled.
"I'm sure it's not as bas as you think. Now getting back to the topic at hand, what are we gonna do with these?"
Rumple frowned in thought then conjured a fireball in his hand. "Burn them?"
Belle nodded in agreement. "That's probably the best option, but," She held up the magazine in her hand, "we should keep this one. Just in case." She grinned mischievously, and Rumple returned her smile.
"Sounds like a good plan." He smiled and held up one of the magazines then dropped it in the fire. He and Belle each dropped in two.
"Now, I know just the place to hide this one." Belle said as she got up to head towards the door.
"Ok, where?" Rumple asked, starting to pull himself up. Belle put out a hand to stop him.
"No. Only I will know where this one is?" She winked at him then fled the room with a giggle
Belle made her way to the master bedroom, looking behind her every now and again to make sure Rumple didn't follow her. She stepped into the room quietly and closed the door softly. She tiptoed over to her side of the bed and sat down on the floor. She lifted up the bed skirt and began looking for a certain box hidden under there. She grabbed the box and grinned as she took the lid off. Inside were sets of lingerie. Some didn't show much skin, others showed barely any at all. She lifted up a bright purple corset with matching stockings and garter belt and placed the magazine underneath it. She put the lid of the box back on and giggled to herself, for she had a special surprise for Rumple later that night.