Alright, I'm still getting this uploading business figured out, so please tell me if there are cut out words (I'm still trying to fix that in some places).

Otherwise, enjoy!

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BOOM! slammed the heavy wooden door, plunging the scantily clad blonde and rugged protagonist into a sinister darkness filled with whispers and hisses.

BAM! crashed Alfred's plate onto the floor, Nachos and salsa flying as he jumped back from the TV, eyes wide, gaze fixed on the large screen. The blonde woman was now clutching her boyfriend's arm, too transfixed by his rugged handsomeness to notice the slithering shadow creeping up to her shiny stilettos. Closer…closer…

'EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!', screamed the girl, clutching at her lover as she was dragged away, out of the living room, through a hole in the rotting wood, grabbing at the planks in defiance moments before being pulled down into the dark, damp lair of the … thing.

The protagonist whirled around, looking for his girlfriend and instead finding himself face to face with a cadaver, chained to the wall with a dark cross around its neck. The fresh blood still pouring from the gaping cavity in its heart spilt down onto the floor and formed itself into a message.

"Y-You're next", whispered Al, swallowing hard and clutching his star spangled pillow to his chest.

"You're next", repeated the protagonist, so intent on the writing that he failed to notice the darkness slithering around him once more, coming closer with every beat of the eerie music, leaving smears of grime and gore in the dust as it began to materialize behind him. It had claws now, and eyes crazed with hunger. As the vestige of fangs appeared in the shadows, it reached forward, slowly, ever so slowly, the music rising, Al leaning forward despite himself, thunder booming until-

-PZZZZ-

With a flash, the screen turned black, the nightlight beside it going out in the same second. With a scream, Alfred launched himself behind the couch, landing painfully on his side as he vaulted it. Heart pounding and breath coming in ragged gasps, he scanned the darkness, imagining it shift and change under his gaze.

There! Right there, Alfred was sure something just moved!

That was in the direction of the TV, right? Swallowing loudly, the American backed away, still facing the TV – or at least what he guessed was the direction of the TV – using his hands and feet to push himself back as quietly as possible.

The silence of the room was broken only by Al's quiet whimper as he suddenly hit the door with his back. Hands shaking, he reached for the knob and literally fell out of the room as the door swung open. Sprawled on the floor, he was in the pitch darkness of what was supposed to be a hotel hallway.

-BANG!-

Alfred jumped as the door swung shut with a resolute crash. One second. Two.

Just when he decided it was safe to crawl away and find light – and people, as long as there were enough sidekicks, the hero never got killed, right? – there was a creak to his left. Hearing sharpened by fear and darkness, Alfred could hear the soft footsteps approaching him.

Oh God.

Oh God, he didn't want to be eaten!

He had dreams!

Things to fight for!

Citizens to protect!

Using the wall for support, Alfred propped himself up, knees shaking but holding his weight. Damn it all, he wouldn't go down without a fight!

He was a hero!

He could-

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

Alfred let out an ear-piercing wail and flailed as he felt something – it was the tentacles from before, he was sure – snake around his waist. The monster let out a pained 'ouph' as he sent a kick in its direction, followed by a hushed 'merde' and a string of unintelligible but clearly annoyed French.

Oh God, the thing was French! It was probably a giant snail, or something equally slimy and foul!

Suddenly, a light went on to his right, blinding Alfred for a moment before it revealed itself to be a flashlight held by a pretty short-haired blonde woman in a cocktail dress, staring just beyond him with confusion written in her green eyes. Turning to his left, Alfred couldn't spot the monster that had almost devoured him just moments ago; he ~could~ spot a winded Frenchman clutching at his ribs and looking positively murderous.

"Francis?", Al asked, voice coming out in a squeak. Clearing his throat, he tried again "Francis, is that you?"

"Oui", came the pained reply, as Francis gasped and straightened out, still holding his side and blinking away tears.

"Did it get you too?", whispered Alfred urgently, looking beyond the light of the flashlight into the hallway.

"Did what get me?", muttered the older man, glancing around in annoyance.

"You know…", prompted Alfred, leaning forward and looking around hurriedly "… the ~thing~".

"I know not what ~thing~ you are talking about", Francis smiled tensely, "Per'aps you are referring to ze sudden outage of power. En fait, that did not so much …get me… as did your kicking me in ze ribs."

"What, that was you? I thought you were a monster or something!", Alfred exclaimed. "Why the heck did you grab me around the waist?"

"I…mistook you for someone else", Francis said tensely, looking genuinely sorry… for himself.

"So you didn't see ~it~", inquired Alfred hurriedly, still looking around.

"I do not know what ~it~ is, but rest assured that there is no one in this hallway but you, me, and Annabelle, so if you would please excuse us-"

As Francis turned to leave, Alfred latched onto him arm.

"Francis, you gotta stay with me! That thing is still out there, and if I'm alone…", he trailed off, eyes widening at the gory possibilities.

"Absolument pas. I have prior engagements, as you can see", Francis motioned to the pretty girl and made to leave.

"No way, you have to let me stay with you! This is our lives we're talking about here, we gotta get out of here-"

"Alfred, I know zat Englishman told you some strange stories about… fairies and the like… but you 'ave no reason to believe him. The power should be on soon, so just go and…", Francis made some indefinite gesture with his hand in the direction of the American's room.

"But it's da~ark!", whined Alfred, inching closer to the girl with the flashlight. Come to think of it, if you ignored the fine eyebrows, she did look remarkably like-

"America, now really" – Francis punctuated the 'really' with a delicate raise of his eyebrows – "is not a good time." Stepping closer and whispering into Alfred's ear, he continued in a husky tone "If, 'owever, you so dezire my company, I will be glad to…accommodate you… At. Another. Time."

Alfred shivered, and Francis almost gave a self-satisfied smile before noticing that the American seemed transfixed by something completely other than him – in fact, he was staring at his date's shoes with a morbid fascination.

Francis drew his eyebrows in confusion, contemplating her shiny stilettos. Non, they matched her dress perfectly, no need to worry about zat.

"Qu'est-ce que-"

"Ahahahaha. Ha.", Alfred cut Francis off with loud laughter, obviously forced. "Well, I don't want to disturb you any further" - at this, the American gave a slow and deliberate wink, making Francis bury his face in his hand, hiding his pained expression and mutter of 'incorrigible' - "So I'll just be going now. Say, you don't happen to have a spare flashlight, do you?"

"'Ave this one", Francis said quickly, snatching the light from the blonde, "We will not be needing it."

"Really? Thanks Francis! Enjoy being dinner- I mean having, having dinner. And stuff."

With one last look at the girl's shoes, Alfred grasped the flashlight tightly, and began quickly walking away down the hallway, back stiff and eyes fixed straight ahead. Francis was almost curious now, but he had more … pressing matters to attend to, he decided, after a look at Annabelle.

The dark hallway filled with giggles and whispers moments before a door slammed shut. A few doors down, Alfred jumped at the sound and sped up, confident in the knowledge that ~It~ would be coming Francis and his stilettos – wait, his woman's stilettos - first. As per movie.