There was a day not too long ago, in a crowded room of five year olds, when they first saw each other. It wasn't to say that they weren't two that added to the crowd just by being there or that they had any inkling of an idea what they'd mean to each other later on. They just wanted a friend to laugh with, to play with, to be with, and yet somehow that grasped every kind of spectrum of emotion over the years.
"Do you like drawing?" It was an easy enough question, completely innocent, but yet eager for an answer all the same. He'd been drawing a cute, little bunny, an animal that had wormed its way into his heart from picture book to picture book.
"A little." She sat down by his side, "But I love to color!" Suddenly, the darker haired five year old girl crawled up by his side, a red colored pencil in one hand and a purple one in the other. "Do you need help?"
"Yeah." He agreed with a light hearted nudge, just tapping her close like he'd seen his older brothers and sisters do at least a dozen times. He loved watching them, learning from them, because they always seemed so wise and cool.
Juleka smiled a toothy grin, and it was alright in that crowded classroom to just have a friend to color in some of his pictures, working side by side and completely together.
In a way, she still loved color as she stared at the purple in her hair and just wondered. It wasn't that she thought it looked bad, but Nathanael had invited her out to lunch after the morning classes, and really, she wasn't dressing to impress. They were just friends, but would he like her hair? She wasn't any good at pictures and had only a few friends, but he never seemed to mind as one of her very first friends.
They'd both agreed since the beginning that it wasn't a date, but still, she wanted to look cute for tomorrow, but did he even like dyed hair? None of his older brothers or sisters dyed their hair, and his younger siblings were much to young to even start trying to, but Luka made it look so cool and easy, and Mom didn't care that much...? Just, what did Nath think?
She doubted that he'd care, but what if they looked weird at the little cafe that they both had agreed on as they wanted to try it out. 'The first day of classes is a day to make memories.' Or so Rose usually told her, who had the habit of dressing as cutely and sometimes completely over the top as she could when break ended, and they'd welcome a new school year together: new or familiar students never seemed to matter on that front to her.
"So Luka, is it fine?" She felt childish as she sat down on her big brother's bed, and she knew that she wasn't old enough to warrant feeling childish, but she hated it anyhow.
"It looks alright." He shrugged though sometimes Juleka wondered if that guitar that he still managed to hold in his arms this evening, that she'd stopped him from playing, caught his attention more than the words she spoke though she'd always felt a little invisible from crowded classrooms with two new friends out of so many others her age to trying to look at least a little good for tomorrow even if it didn't matter that much.
"Okay." She stayed close and listened when silence was beaten by a few strummed notes on Luka's guitar, and maybe it was okay to get lost in the music for a moment and leave behind the blues of just wondering, wondering, wondering.
And, it was friendship. Between their morning classes and their afternoon classes, they walked to the cafe, side by side, but not holding hands and talked as they always did. He mentioned her hair, and she admitted to trying a new look. "I kind of like it."
And he sort of agreed with her. It was just as it always was, just laughter and teasing, sometimes, and just being around each other. Nothing charged the air, nothing was different, but Juleka didn't know why she really expected more than this when this is what they always had. Nathanael was her calm and quiet and just being present friend, and he was a guy, and she's a girl, and nothing felt like static or pushing full speed ahead to a change that she wasn't sure either of them wanted.
Lunch was delicious, and they both bought their own meal though in the past, sometimes she had bought his too or he bought hers as well. It was always relatively equal, and she wasn't quite sure if dating ever changed any of that dynamic or if it left them back in this common ground. But, wondering is wondering unless you actually make a change.
A date however was only a date when both of the people on it, called it one, and agreed upon it already. It ended up just a friendly outing among many though emotions scurried elsewhere as slowly, they seemed to grow older.
Years later, she'd play around with her dyed hair and wonder if this was somehow different with the days of Evilustrator in their past, with old friendly outings, and just being near each other faded to this weird mix of a situation. They still loved to just be near each other, but lunch outings between just the two of them faded as usually they ended up at booths with at least an extra friend or two squeezed in right next to them.
Today was different though. It had to be. Juleka was on the cusp of womanhood, and most could rightfully argue that she was already a woman: seventeen. It didn't feel as if it could be possible in its own way, if she paused to think too much about the passing of time and what this all meant. Twelve years never seemed to stack up into so much until now. She sighed, fiddling with purple hair that had somehow become part of her signature look though she could think back to many times with hair that looked sort of like this, with smiles, and even with some well timed photos.
She didn't quite feel like a woman as her fingers found her dress more worthy of fiddling though she tried to calm them. Her dress had lace sleeves tracing up to the tops of her shoulders though most of the dress was a solid black that held close to her frame without being tight or giving off the appearance of becoming a new layer of skin right overtop the old.
Luka had told her when 'fine' only earned him a deadpan look that she looked good though sometimes reading her brother was more than the words spoken and couldn't always be heard in guitar strings, especially when he wasn't strumming any notes, as you had to look closely. The twitch of his lips told her that good was inadequate a word, just like 'fine' wasn't near enough. She doubted it, but Luka was always honest in the little things anyway.
Dinner was different than lunch somehow though the restaurant wasn't overly fancy nor was it expensive, just a little more than a cafe had to offer in its atmosphere, despite how much they'd loved their cafes over the years, and somehow Nathanael's tie brought out his green eyes, and he did hold her hand during the walk over.
This was a date though they still talked mostly as they always had, fingers squeezed tight, and that was okay. There would be no closing kiss, not when that seemed much too much for the atmosphere, much too much for now. Their fingers would stay laced, and they'd laugh like they never had.
There was something so real and honest within the laughter, something free but yet reserved, and something altogether new. Juleka and Nathanael were slowly discovering something that they'd never known, as friendship molds into dating in a way that feels effortless, seamless, and yet awkwardness isn't unheard of today, just routinely pushed back as they knew each other.