A Shattered Mirror

The night air was delicious. It was brisk and clean and fresh. Tomoyo was happy to be in her little grove. A breeze sifted through her hair. She felt reborn. Little creatures came and went as she sat back and relaxed. Faeries came and went, their wings shimmering in the twilight. A white rabbit stuck by her though. It never left her side. She loved him, it was the only thing she had left to care for. Somewhere in the distance, Tomoyo can hear someone calling her. Calling her back to reality; to what she tried so hard to leave.

Tomoyo opened her eyes to the nurse standing over her. She was prim and proper, there wasn't a single strand of hair out of place. The nurse was always shocked at Tomoyo's fierce emerald colored eyes. They are the kinds that seem to pierce right through your very soul and see your faults. The nurse didn't let this on though. She had to be in control of the situation; Tomoyo can never know that she scares the nurse. The sudden burst of light, however, hurt Tomoyo's eyes. She had to squint to see what was going on. Tomoyo was apparently tossing and turning against her bindings. Her wrists and her ankles were raw.

When did they put those on me? She wondered. Have I been that bad?

"Let me out," she croaked, her throat hasn't been used much in the past couple of who knows how long. "I didn't do anything wrong." Or at least she didn't remember it at the moment. "I want my Gram."

The nurse just looked at her. "You have your Bunny. Gram is gone." and with that, something poked against her skin. A needle. Fluid was being injected into her. She was so used to shots by now, it didn't even hurt her. Tomoyo was calming down. She couldn't get back to sleep, she was forced awake now fatigue was far from her mind.

The padded white room around her was suffocating. There were no windows and lights coming out of the walls in every corner. She wanted out of this room and back into her grove so badly, but there was nothing she can do about it. The drugs they gave her were kicking in. It made her drowsy as well as delirious. She wanted it to stop. This wasn't the kind of drugs that she liked. These always brought back painful memories that she didn't want to relive.

***

"Eriol!" Tomoyo called. "Eriol come back to me! I promise I'll stop." He turned around and skated back, his green eyes matching her intensity. They stared at each other and he stopped.

"Tomoyo, you can't keep doing this to me. You can't keep playing me and think we'll be fine afterwards."

Tears were forming in Tomoyo's eyes. Her vision was cloudy and it was getting hard to see Eriol' figure. Every time she saw him she would always melt. Her heart would beat faster and her breath would quicken. She didn't know why she keeps hurting him though. All she wanted was everything to be ok between them. "Please don't leave me." was all she could say.

***

Tomoyo opened her eyes quickly. She wanted desperately to forget everything about her past. She wanted it to have never happened. It was all a regret. She wanted it to stop, but she knew that she couldn't get better if she didn't understand it and do something about it. Once she gets better, they would let her out of the white room. It was torturous; nothing to do in there all day. All that was left was to sit and think. Which was one thing that she didn't want. Sometimes Tomoyo can get away, away to her world if she meditated hard enough.

Bunny was laying next to her. The rag bunny was all she had left. Tomoyo remembered when he was first made. In about the third grade, Tomoyo was learning to sew. Her cousin did it so she wanted to do it too. So from all sorts of fabrics. She mostly cut from her baby blanket though. A little bit of blanket's cotton was stuffed inside, but not enough to make him plump. The stitching was very good, Bunny never fell apart. Tomoyo was satisfied anyways. Bunny was her love, something that she can never lose.

Tomoyo needed someone to talk to, badly. She couldn't stand being alone anymore. Bunny was her nice companion, but they share telepathy so she didn't need to talk there. They said they would schedule her a date with the psychiatrist when she was good and presentable. To her which meant never. Nothing she ever did was good enough for anyone. She tried to satisfied her parents with good grades, but they believed that B's weren't good enough. She remembered back when she was in elementary and middle school. Straight A's were all that she got. And then she stopped caring. It wasn't helping her any. She knew she was smart and that's it. When she decided to stop her usual dress of all black, she was criticized for being a poser and went back, much to her parent's disappointment.

"Bunny, I wish I had something to smoke right now, I would like to go back to my wonderland," she thought out loud. So she cleared her mind and took deep breaths. Something that always worked if she did it long enough.

A wind picked up and lifted Tomoyo's hair from her face. She took another deep breath and opened her eyes to find the open meadow in front of her. Tomoyo never fancied the idea of falling down a rabbit whole to find a topsy turvy land, but she loved that fairy tale. She always thought it was ironic that she was named after her favorite fairy tale. She loved her meadow and the mystical creatures that live in it. Tomoyo looked down in her hand to see that Bunny was still there.

She walked down the path into a flower garden. She picked one and pulled it's petals "I love him, I love him not. I love him, I love him not, I love him, I love him… not." This answered kind of disappointed her, but how can she trust a flower to tell her the truth? Her mind was reeling with thoughts that she wanted to vent. There were so many questions that she wanted and even needed answers to. But most of all, she was all out of friends and she missed them more than anything in the world.

Jo note: erm…. I dunno it's a bit weird right now. I hope you like it, even though it's a bit negative… The Part between the stars means that it's a flashback/memory Disclaimer:: I own nothing!