It used to hurt so much. So much that I used to cry out, scream at the top of my voice, and could feel the warm tears slip down my face. Now? Now the pain had just become my life. Numbing my body to the point where the tears dried on my face and stopped. The puddles of tears were the only clue that I had feelings in my cold shell. I had become so hollow. Hollowed out by the nightmare's, the only alibi's I had while fighting the Guardians. My powers, the closest thing I had to a family, are now slashing, tearing, ripping at my flesh and my senses, leaving me in the shadows forever to die. To be forgotten, people to stop believing in me had an effect on me that the Guardians can't even comprehend. If one of them started to fade, they would help and support each other. A 'you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours' type of thing. They had a family and friendship link that I couldn't have with anyone or anything but myself. Those fucking Guardians would never die because of their ties with each other. I will just wither and die now they have put me in this situation. Jack Frost kept invading my head. His cocky attitude and cheeky grin. His perfectly white hair and sapphire eyes had just shuffled its way into my heart over the years. Then he does this to me. Now I know that my feelings are on a one way road. Always going out, but never coming back. Shit! That last hit hurt. That's when I notice the outlined figure of a eighteen year old boy crouched on a ledge. I try to make eye contact, to tell him to piss off, but I'm pretty sure my eyes are just as hollow as my insides. Nothing about me seemed fearful or proud anymore. I pull my eyes away from him and look down at the greyish stone underneath me. Was this really going to be that last thing I saw before I died? I hoped not. But my fate seemed inevitable now. I look back up at the boy, but he's gone. Probably came along to look and show his final bit of mockery before I disintegrate away from the world. Images and sounds have begun to slow and fuzz around me. Is this what it's like? Dying? I see a flash of blue next me and a nightmare horse fall to the floor. What was covering it? Frost? Another flash, and another. After a few seconds, a cool hand is paced under my head, lifting me slightly. I try to focus on the face in front of me and the words coming out of their mouth.
"Pitc- -ay w-h m-" he says, begging it sounds like. I begins to drift in and out of consciousness. With what I think will be my final breath I see white hair, the colour of the glistening snow, and sapphire eyes, filled with so much worry, even more than people in the dark ages. Could it have been? The person I longed to hold in my arms. To kiss on his cold cheeks and luscious lips and the one that is like my missing puzzle piece. To be mine. Jack Frost...?
"You don't understand anything!" Jack screams at me, sending a burst a frost toward me. I manage to deflect it with my nightmare sand. The two colours mix so perfectly together. The icy embrace of the white and the heart pinching touch of the black, merging into one.
"No? I don't know what it's like to be cast out?" I reply, equally annoyed. I send an attack his way which puts him on the defensive. Our show of power escalates until eventually we are shrouded in a blanket of snow, ice and wind. I watch his every move intently. He looks so lost, ice and snow was his friend was it not? He looked so fascinating, alert and on his toes incase of an attack. I was here to make a deal not to kill him. I notice the silence that has crept up on us and how nervous it was making him.
"To not be believed in..." The shroud begins to clear and I walk toward him slightly. My feelings start to get the better of me and I let out a bit more emotion than I planned. "To long for a family." I continue, begging for him to listen to my cries of pain. To get some other emotion than hate. There's a look of compassion on the young boys face as he listens.
"All those years in the shadows I thought, no one else knows what this feels like. But now I see I was wrong." I explain, holding out my hand signalling to him. Our eyes lock for some time. Even he knows that this is a true connection between us, weather he likes it or not. It was nice to know that. To know the one person that I wanted to be close to shared something with me.
"We don't have to be alone, Jack." This isn't a trick, I want to make sure he knows that this is going to be a proper offer and I won't hurt him as soon as his guards down. I keep my face as calm and compassionate as I can. The more believable I am, the more he'll believe me.
"I believe in you. And I know children will too." I continue
"In me?" He asks, the sound in his voice showing that this is what he truly wants. His face twisting into so many different emotions. Confusion, fear, thought... Hope. He was seriously considering the offer! A point I didn't think I was possible for me to reach.
"Yes! Look at what we can do!" I gesture to a fantastical ice and nightmare 'sculpture' that was created when Jack attacked me. "What goes together better than cold and dark?" I question, knowing that was a combination made in heaven.
Jack looks at the fractured reflections of me and him cast in the icy sculpture. Even he has to admit, we look pretty good, side by side. Together.
"We can make them believe. We'll give them a world where everything, everything is-" I get slightly caught up and and so much emotion into my speech that I'm scared he might walk away from me. But I had to prove my point.
"Pitch black...?" Jack interrupts, turning to face me. I start to realise how this looks and have to clarify.
"And Jack Frost too. They'll believe in both of us." I smirk, keeping my offer high and proud. Jack stares at me, considering the offer.
"No, they'll fear both of us. And that's not what I want." Jack turns and walks away from me. No, no.. That's not the answer I wanted! My offer was slipping and Jack was falling through my fingers.
"Now, for the last time, leave me alone." He spits. I cant help but look confused and hurt. Then my eyes flame with anger. I made myself vulnerable, and Jack rejected me.
"Very well. You want to be left alone? Done. But first..." I grit my teeth in anger. I reach into my cloak to pull out to pull out the fucking little fairy.
"Baby Tooth!" He exclaims, charging forward. There's terror in Baby Tooth's eyes. Haha, I loved to see that feeling etched and carved into peoples faces. To feel it though, to feel it was something totally spectacular. She squeaks as I clench her tight with my fist.
"The staff, Jack!" I demand.
Jack settles and the winds and snow subsides around us.
"You have a bad habit of interfering. Now hand it over. And I'll let her go." I offer my next deal, the evil glint returning to my eyes.
"Don't give it to him!" The fairy twitters, begging him not to give up his weapon. It struggles to get loose, but I only tighten my grip. She can hardly breathe. I smirk at the mere look on my rivals face, Jack has no choice. He hands over the staff and I can't help but twirl it in triumph.
"Alright, now let her go." Jack reminds. Ha! He thought that deal was truthful?! After what he's just done? He was still slightly idle, even at his age.
"No. You said you wanted to be alone. So be alone!" I growl. Baby Tooth squirms until she's finally able to peck me in the hand with her beak. I cant help but shriek. That fucking little- in my anger I throw her in the air and down into the mouth of a crevasse.
"No!" Jack cries out. He's clearly enraged at what he's seeing. I'll teach him for rejecting me! I lift the staff, and break it over my knee, cracking it in two. Light explodes from the staff and terror comes into Jack's eyes, clutching his chest as if in pain.
I send a burst of Nightmare sand, blasting him and slamming him into the iceberg wall behind him. As the ice cracks, he comes loose and falls forward into the chasm below.
I look down into the ice fissure chuckling and throw the broken shards of Jack's staff down into the crevasse and casually walk away, disappearing on the horizon.
The pain I must've caused him that day... I was angry, upset and confused all at the same time from his rejection. I just wanted to show him how much he'd hurt me. But I think I might've hurt him too much. I can never say how sorry I am for all the days of pain.
I can feel my brain pounding against my skull. Feeling comes back to my fingertips as I feel the soft fabrics of... Bandages covering my stomach. I-I'm alive? I crack open my eyes, but I'm flooded with light, so I'm forced to blink quite a few times. Eventually, I'm able to see my surroundings. A red and gold room. It seemed to be made for comfort and warmth... Not particularly my taste, too Christmassy. Oh great. Now I know where I fucking am. The crackling from the fire reaches my ears and I notice the blanket over me. No restraints, no guards... Nothing? I try to stand, but am too weak and tired to do so. That'll be why then...
"Finally awake?" A familiar teens voice asks. My eyes drift to the snow spirit of fun, sitting in a chair in the corner.
"J-jack?" I manage to stammer. My throat was so horse from all the earlier screaming.
"I was so scared I was going to lose you Pitch. I didn't think not being believed in would take that effect on you. After all it didn't with me, but I never was. If I knew I would've never let it happen. I'm so sorry." He deeply apologises. He walks over to me and puts a hand on my head and presses his forehead against mine. H-he was being honestly serious. He was so soft to the touch. It was nice to finally be touched by him in affection, not in a heated fight.
"Isn't the fire bothering you Jack? Leave if you have to." I whisper soothingly to him. Instead of leaving he turns the fire out and returns to my side.
"I'm staying here. I was the reason for this to happen so I'm going to fix it... But I'm really tired. I've been awake, waiting for you, for two days." He tells me. I feel a pang at my heart. That was affection I've never been given before. He places his cool head on the sofa near my chest and, almost instantly, falls asleep. I carefully put a hand on his head and smooth his hair, falling back asleep next to the person that I've dreamt of having moments like this with.
I was woken by the light, cool air of Jacks breath on my neck. It sent shivers down my spine. For something so cold, I've never felt warmer inside. I notice his delicate hands gripping my cloak so tightly that his nails could've gone through the materials. The contorted look on his face proved that he was having a nightmare. Suddenly, his eyes spring open and he takes a deep inhale, clinging onto me tighter. I could feel both of his hands on my chest. So smooth and cool.
"This is what you get for sleeping next to me." I tell him as he calms down. That terrified face looked so good on him. The last time I saw him like this was when I snapped his staff. Something I regret doing now because of the pain that caused... But the look of worry and fear on his face, that beautiful face...
"No, I've been having the same nightmare for three days now." Jack answers, after he'd calmed down.
"Well it must be something horrible. There was so much fear laced in with that anyone would think you'd killed someone." I reply. I really wanted to run my hands through his hair and stroke his fears away, but he probably thought that weird so I resisted the urge. He looks me dead in the eyes and I see a certain type of saddened mist over his sapphire orbs.
"I keep dreaming that I'm going to lose you! That the nightmares will kill you. That's why I've been getting Jamie to tell his friends that your back and stronger. To fear you again and believe in you again!" He tells me. My emotions were just being overwhelmed. He went against the Guardians and went out of his way just for me? Fuck it! Sitting up I take his hands in mine and look his in the eyes, so deeply I could've been looking into his very soul.
"You'll never lose me Jack Frost. Some form or another I will and always will be here." I assure, lightly pressing a finger against his forehead. However, before I had chance to pull away, he takes hold of my hand and starts to pull it toward his chest, kissing my fingertips on the way. He flattens my hand against his chest above his heart.
"And you'll always be here too." He tells me, blushing slightly. I look at him for a second, completely bewildered. I scan over his facial features to check for any signs of a lie or joke. None. The only thing was his face alternating to how awkward the situation had become for him. I can fix that. I lean toward him and kiss him full on his luscious lips. He leans into me, merges with me in a way. He pushes me into the back of the sofa, while putting a knee on either side of my legs. His cool hands link with mine, tangling together to a point where there was no separating. Ice particles begin to spread around us as Jack struggles to contain his powers and emotions. I manage to pull my hands away from his icy grip and slide them under his hoodie and onto his soft skin. His hands snake around my neck as I feel his tongue trace over my bottom lip, begging entrance. I part my lips slightly and feel the velvet slip into my mouth, licking and tasting every inch of it. He pulls away slightly, beckoning my tongue to follow. There is the slightest parting between our lips as our tongues circle each other. I could've sworn I felt someone's presence appear in the shadows behind us, but I don't take much notice. Mine and Jacks eyes were closed, enjoying the moment too much to care about anything else. I should've stopped when I thought someone was there. But I didn't. Now it's just turned embarrassing.
"Jack Frost! What have you been telling the childr-" the familiar voice of an annoying bastard bunny interrupts our moment. Jack pulls away and sits up instantly.
"Bunny!" He exclaims. I turn to face the fury guardian as he eyes me up and down.
"You soon healed!" He growls at me.
"Hard to rest with the smell of rotten eggs around." I sneer. That disrespectful bunny needed a lesson teaching to him. A little bit of hate wouldn't hurt the 'hard' carrot lover.
"Why you little-!" He threatens, pulling out a boomerang, raising it slightly in an attempt to scare me. Jack presses a hand against my mouth. I frown at him slightly, but don't protest. Jack wanted me to stop, so I will.
"Bunny! Put it away and what do you want?" Jack questions. He was so defensive over me, yet still kept his friendship and trust with the rabbit. His face, perfectly lit by the candle light, occasionally flickering, and his jaw line outlined by it.
"What have you been telling those kids?! So many lights are fucking flickering with fear and all of a sudden sadist over there is up to full strength!" Bunny replies, raising his voice slightly, not putting his boomerang away. Right, that's it! That last one drives me over the edge. I push jack onto the sofa and stand up to the guardian.
"You have a problem with me because I threaten the children. Tell me though, in what why do I threaten them? I give them nightmares... It's so life threatening that I've saved more lives than you can count! I do what I do because its the thing I was told to do! In the dark ages I made sure no one left their homes, and if they did they didn't go far, because there are so many things worse than me in this world. So next time you think my heart is black, remember I saved so many lives that would probably add up to more than the amount of eggs you've brought to the surface!" I tell him. His face seemed to drop slightly, knowing I am right. However, he continues to persist!
"Really? Then how come jack had to tell kids to believe in you again?" Bunny tries, smirking.
"Don't even try that. You know the reason! But I can feel the fear in you voice, eyes, body, head. You know, no matter how much you try to deny it, I'm right." I laugh. Bunny opens his mouth to say something, to protest, but nothing comes out. So instead he huffs slightly and walks away. I glare at where he was for a second. I don't know why, just to make sure he'd gone I suppose. The one thing I've noticed though, is that Jack hasn't gotten back up... I look over at him and see him struggling against shadows that have curled around his limbs. I act instantly, clawing, pulling, ripping the shadows off him. I flip him to face me. I begin the panic even more when I see the final trendies of shadows slip into his mouth! His eyes are wide and his body keeps convulsing against him.
"BUNNY!" I cry, desperate for help. A few seconds later, the big eared cotton-tail drags himself around the corner.
"Want to continue our debate?" He says, unenthusiastically.
"Help!" I manage to choke out. He frowns but then sees jack in my arms, dying as the shadows turn his hair black and his eyes a sharp purple.
"What happened?!" Bunny demands.
"I don't know, the nightmares were just... Here! I can't control them!" I stammer. If something wasn't done soon, Jacks precious life would slip through my fingers and I wouldn't be able to stop it.
"I'll go and get the guardians and Jamie, try to stop it or at least slow it down." Bunny instructs. I nod as he bounds down the corridor. Slow it down.. How? I'd have to get it out if his system somehow. I look at his gasping lips.
"I'm so sorry that this happened Jack." I mutter. I press my lips firmly against his, prying his open and sucking. It didn't take long before I felt the nightmare sand exchanging from his mouth and into mine. The texture is so gritty as it touches my tongue and feels like sandpaper as it scratches down my throat. It hurt, but Jack was in a lot more pain than me at the moment. All of my wounds from the previous torture begin opening again and my throat struggled to stay clear. There's was so much sand flowing through me now. I must've swallowed most of it by now. Suddenly the guardians burst in followed by Jamie, Pippa, Claude, -, Cupcake and -. They all run over to me and I part my lips with Jacks. Falling back, I spread across the oak floor, nightmare sand running from the corners of my mouth. The Toothfairy and Sandman kneel next to me, trying to stop my body from shaking by pressing their hands on my chest. I see, from the corner of my eye, Jack crawling, more like dragging, himself over to me. He grips my hand and looks me in the eyes. My vision starts to blur again. I was in this position again. Why again? Why me? A tear escapes from my eye and falls down my cheek, eventually landing on the varnished wood flooring. However, I had jack with me this time. From start to finish.
"Together." He nods to me, weakly. But, theres a power in his voice, a tone that said; were not dying together, but making it through together. I nod at him as best I can.
"Together."
I drag my eyes to the familiar boys face that was now above my own. He was seeing me in a state that a child will never fear. It was disgraceful for him to lay eyes on me when it's not out of fear. He says something to me, but its nothing but muffled noise by now. Then, I see his finger reach for the small pool of nightmare sand by my face. It instantly turns from the dark silver sparkles to a golden glow. It trails back up to my mouth and down my throat. I can't stop my back from arching as the pain seems to stop abruptly.
I woke up on the sofa again. But this time, it had been extended into a temporary double bed. My arms were wrapped around another figure. My bedmate had his hands around me too. I could feel his cold fingers tangled in my hair and on my waist. I could feel mine wrapped in the fabrics of his clothing and on his cool stomach. I crack my eyes open. Dark...ish. I open the fully without a problem. My golden eyes are me by the teens sapphire ones.
"You look beautiful when you sleep. So calm." Jack whispers to me. I smile at him, appreciably.
"How long have you bee awake?" I ask. He snuggles his head into my chest and murmurs into me.
"Not long."
There's a short silence between us. I was just.. Enjoying the moment. A moment that both me and Jack were now able to share, knowing we both had the same feelings for each other. That's why I'm only pulled back to life when he moves away slightly.
"Thank you, Pitch." He says gratefully, "you saved me tonight, twice in fact." He finishes.
"Don't wo-" I begin. However I'm not able to finish because his pale lips press against mine. I close my eyes as our lips work together. I can feel his tongue inside my dried mouth again. Slowly rewetting it.
"I love you ." He mutters into my mouth. I could feel the vibrations from his voice on my tongue.
"I love you too." I reply, continuing the kiss that brought us together.