Title: A Series of Failed Clichés
Author: L'Unholy Razzabeth
Summary: When clichés go bad. HP/DM, among others.
Harry sat quietly at his seat at the kitchen table, staring at the empty plate in front of him.
The smell of bacon, eggs, and pancakes wafted through the air as Aunt Petunia worked diligently at the stove. Obnoxious beeping noises came from Dudley's Gameboy as he punched buttons furiously in his seat next to Harry. Uncle Vernon sat on his great flabby arse at the head of the table, his watery eyes skimming over the morning's paper.
Harry debated with himself internally on whether he should say what he was close to saying, whether he should continue living this lie he had built.
Aunt Petunia finished up her cooking, and carried breakfast over to the table. She served great heaping portions to Vernon and Dudley, gave herself a medium-sized meal, and then dumped the small amount remaining onto Harry's plate. Dudley paused his game, and dug into his food, ocassionally making various piglike noises in doing so. Uncle Vernon continued reading his paper, picking steadily through his food as he did so. Aunt Petunia sat down and ate with careful bites, dabbing at her mouth with her napkin every once in a while. Harry chewed thoughtfully on a peice of bacon, and then made up his mind.
"Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia.. I've got something to tell you." he began. Vernon looked disinterestedly at him over his paper. Aunt Petunia shot him a nasty look for the crime of making his existance known, and went back to eating.
"I'm.. gay."
Vernon blinked at Harry. "Right then." he said, then went back to reading his paper.
Dudley snickered in between bites. "Heh heh. I knew it."
And then, the only sounds were that of chewing, paper rustling, and the 'Pause' music from Dudley's game.
Harry blinked. "..that's all?"
Uncle Vernon looked up at him again, annoyed at having to address him twice. "Well, what did you expect? A bloody parade thrown in your homosexual honor?"
"Er.. you.. you're not going to beat me or rape me or call me fag and throw me out of the house?"
Vernon scowled, putting his paper down on the table. "Harry, I could care less about your sexual orientation, and I could care less about YOU. Beat you? Bleedin' hell, boy, d'you think I don't have morals or something? And even if I WAS such a lowly human being that I would hit a child, I daresay you'd just-you'd use your-" Uncle Vernon made a disgusted face and wiggled his fingers to represent the word 'magic'-"and blow me up. I'm not stupid. Hrmph. Beat me or rape me.. of all the idiotic.." Uncle Vernon muttered under his breath as he went back to reading his paper.
Harry blinked. And blinked again. Then, he finished his breakfast, and slowly walked back upstairs to his room.
To be continued..
Author: L'Unholy Razzabeth
Summary: When clichés go bad. HP/DM, among others.
Harry sat quietly at his seat at the kitchen table, staring at the empty plate in front of him.
The smell of bacon, eggs, and pancakes wafted through the air as Aunt Petunia worked diligently at the stove. Obnoxious beeping noises came from Dudley's Gameboy as he punched buttons furiously in his seat next to Harry. Uncle Vernon sat on his great flabby arse at the head of the table, his watery eyes skimming over the morning's paper.
Harry debated with himself internally on whether he should say what he was close to saying, whether he should continue living this lie he had built.
Aunt Petunia finished up her cooking, and carried breakfast over to the table. She served great heaping portions to Vernon and Dudley, gave herself a medium-sized meal, and then dumped the small amount remaining onto Harry's plate. Dudley paused his game, and dug into his food, ocassionally making various piglike noises in doing so. Uncle Vernon continued reading his paper, picking steadily through his food as he did so. Aunt Petunia sat down and ate with careful bites, dabbing at her mouth with her napkin every once in a while. Harry chewed thoughtfully on a peice of bacon, and then made up his mind.
"Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia.. I've got something to tell you." he began. Vernon looked disinterestedly at him over his paper. Aunt Petunia shot him a nasty look for the crime of making his existance known, and went back to eating.
"I'm.. gay."
Vernon blinked at Harry. "Right then." he said, then went back to reading his paper.
Dudley snickered in between bites. "Heh heh. I knew it."
And then, the only sounds were that of chewing, paper rustling, and the 'Pause' music from Dudley's game.
Harry blinked. "..that's all?"
Uncle Vernon looked up at him again, annoyed at having to address him twice. "Well, what did you expect? A bloody parade thrown in your homosexual honor?"
"Er.. you.. you're not going to beat me or rape me or call me fag and throw me out of the house?"
Vernon scowled, putting his paper down on the table. "Harry, I could care less about your sexual orientation, and I could care less about YOU. Beat you? Bleedin' hell, boy, d'you think I don't have morals or something? And even if I WAS such a lowly human being that I would hit a child, I daresay you'd just-you'd use your-" Uncle Vernon made a disgusted face and wiggled his fingers to represent the word 'magic'-"and blow me up. I'm not stupid. Hrmph. Beat me or rape me.. of all the idiotic.." Uncle Vernon muttered under his breath as he went back to reading his paper.
Harry blinked. And blinked again. Then, he finished his breakfast, and slowly walked back upstairs to his room.
To be continued..