~ What The Bloody HELL Is A Computer? ~

Hermione walked into her Muggle Studies classroom that afternoon, expecting Professor Merridew to just go on about all the "amazing" Muggle stuff. She sighed before looking up and seeing what had happened to the classroom.

The separate desks had been made into duo tables, and small duo tables. Barely enough to fit her and Ginny. Secondly, on the top of each table, was a shiny white computer. There was a small apple emblem on the bottom of it. Who made an apple the emblem for a computer?

She sat down at one of the 12 tables, and waited for the bell to ring. 3….2…..1….0BRIIIING! Hermione sat back in her chair, and watched as Harry, Ron, and Ginny walked into the room. Behind them came Parvati Patil, Seamus Finnigan, Dean Thomas, and Neville Longbottom. Behind them came several Ravenclaws. And after them came the…Slytherins. Blaise Zabini, Goyle (who knew what his first name was…) and Draco Malfoy.

"Okay, now students, no trading partners, complaining, groveling, anything like that. Okay, so each pair will pick at least 1 website to write a report on. And you have, I repeat, absolutely must write in on Microsoft Word. No quills or parchment. Got it?" The class nodded. Professor Merridew nodded back and resumed reading the partner list. "Remember what I said. Absolutely NO trading partners. The pairings are….. on the chalkboard at the other end of the classroom." Merridew laughed while the students glared at her. "Well? Get up and go read it!" The students stood up, grumbling, and made their way to the other end of the class room.

Kay, thought I should say this while I remembered….Dramione is NOT the only couple in here. It is NOT ENTIRELY FOCUSED ON THEM. It is mainly focused on them. And they are in AU, seventh year. War has happened, people that died are dead, unless they are Inferi that are actually alive and well….blah blah blah….anyway, so they are dead, unless they are in the fic, which means they didn't die. OH! BTW! Review or suffer my wrath and the Cruciatus Curse. Bye-bye, and have a good day.

(Like I said, I don't know his name and don't care)****** GOYLE- BLAISE ZABINI

HARRY POTTER-GINNY WEASELY

RON WEASLEY-LAVENDER BROWN

PARVATI PATIL-PADMA PATIL

ERNIE MACMILLIAN-HANNAH ABOTT

PANSY PARKINSON-DEAN THOMAS

HERMIONE GRANGER-DRACO MALFOY

Hermione suddenly froze as she read this. She immediately wondered if anybody put the body-bind curse on her before she realized that the freezing up was in shock. She inwardly growled as she walked away from the roster, positively furious. She walked up to Professor Merridew, and started, "Professor, about my part-" Professor Merridew shushed her before saying, "Uh-uh-uh! You are stuck with your partner. The two of you obviously are in a presently life-long feud. This project could help and make you two stop fuming in my classroom." Hermione groaned again before slumping back in her chair.

Malfoy was over by the board laughing at Goyle. He waited for someone to be directly in front of the roster, before shoving them away, then staring wide-eyed a the roster. Hermione gagged as he just stared at the roster before he very slowly turned to face her, pure malice in his eyes. He looked like he would kill to run away as he dropped his stuff at the desk and fell in his chair.

Hermione powered onto the Apple Computer and picked out the Safari icon, pulling up the internet, and she swiftly began typing into some space in the middle of the page.

Once again, I shall pause the story to point out a few things I screwed up on and don't feel like changing right now. First, *rewinds tape* no Hufflepuffs walked into the classroom, yet Ernie and Hannah are a pair. Second, *forwards tape then pauses it* I said she read off the pairs, but the list was on the other side of the classroom. Second, wait, I already used second…..okay then, Third. Got it. Third, *tape does a staticky thing* CRAP! The tape player doohickey is broken. I guess I'll have you read until I can fix this little piece of machinery crap…..UGH!

Professor Merridew began speaking, and half-way explaining the project. "You will create a….gmail I think it is called…anyway, answer the questions, make your desired username, and go ahead. And pick a website. And go. You have 2 and a half hours to pick a website and make a…a Gmail." Malfoy glared at Hermione for about 30 seconds before she looked at him. "What do you want you stupid ferret?" "Answers. To my questions. One, what is a Gmail? Two, what is a website? Three how does this thing work? And four. What the bloody hell is a computer? Think your incompetent, know it all ugly head can remember that? And answer that? You filthy Mudblood." He made retching noises. Hermione just glared at him.

MUAHAHA! Another interruption. I'm evil, aren't I? All the people who want to kill me for not having Draco even be remotely nice to Hermione, don't worry, she teaches him a lesson. Second….if you like Twilight, and you DO decide to keep reading, don't kill me. My friend Gabrielle paid me 50 bucks to trash it. And I desperately need to buy some replacement items for my stash of unallowed sugary goods. Sorry. I like cookies. Aaand, if you like MLIA, bask in the glory that is my inspiration. Which is a bag of chunky Chips Ahoy. An almost empty bag. See why I need 50 bucks? Aaaand, I will need at least 5 reviews before I make another chapter. And I promise I wont be so annoying, but I trash twilight and I don't want any Twi-lovers to be offended. So, hence the interruption. BTW, I'm juggling about 5 new fanfics. They aren't published, but they're there. So I wont be posting as much. If you look forward to my posts. You don't, but its worth a try to guilt-trip you. Bye now. There will at least be 1 page, if not 2, until I interrupt again. Fine 3. But no promises!

"Well, you disgusting, disfigured, pompous, full of himself, rat-boy, piece of dung, ugly, stupid, ugly, ugly, ugly, have I mentioned ugly, ugly ferret. I will not be doing this project by myself. You will be making a gmail, picking a site,helping me, learning how to use an Apple Mac Computer, you will be nice to me before I absolutely ruin you. No lying, cheating, ferreting your way out of work, or stealing what I have written and presenting it as your own. Did you get that you pompous little brat? Because you don't seem capable of feeding yourself, let alone writing the five-page essay due in two months." Malfoy glared, and then smirked, before saying to Zabini in a loud stage whisper that everyone could hear, "Did you hear that? The Mudblood thinks I'm gonna help. Little bitch. She's lucky I'm talking to her, let alone partnering."

Hermione stood up, shaking with rage. Hermione quickly looked at Professor Merridew, who was slipping into her office to find something. The second her door snapped shut, Hermione snarled in a very un-Hermione way. "Listen, you little ferret. I will not do this crap alone. And you're lucky if this doesn't break your jaw!" Draco could only go, "Whaaaa….?" before Hermione's fist connected with his jaw. Hard.

Ouch….

Everybody heard his jaw and neck pop as his head was violently forced to swivel left. Hermione growled again, and she wasn't being nice and ladylike about it either. "And if you ever want to reproduce, don't make me that mad again. Cuz I kick harder than I punch. And it wont be pretty when you fall down 6 flights of moving staircases as a plus to my entertainment. Now get out of here before you die a prolonged, strenuous death." Malfoy whimpered and ran out of the room, cradling his bruised cheek. Goyle ran after him, while Hermione stood there and fumed. She sat back down, obviously cooling down. When she looked back around the classroom, everybody was staring at her shocked. She grinned as she said brightly, "I think I'm going to enjoy this project."

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Hermione checked her watch, and groaned. If she didn't hurry, she would be late for Arithmancy. At least all the Divination crap was over. It made Third Year suck. She immediately picked up the pace, and began running through the halls, not paying attention to anything in front of her, frantically checking that she had everything she needed for the next 3 classes. As she ran, most people either left the side of the hall clear for her, or ended up dashing to the side or jumping away at the last second. But as she rounded the corner, she collided with someone taller than her. She could tell it was a guy, and as she looked up at the chest quickly, she could tell this person was very fit, and had a small crush immediately. But as she fell backwards, the boy's arm reached out and grabbed her before she could fall. When she looked up, she saw Malfoy. She jerked away from him seething, and ran away again, Malfoy's sniggers and raucous laughter ringing in her ears.

Hermione mentally slapped herself for getting a small crush on Malfoy, but she was at least happy that it was gone the second she saw those beautiful grey eyes. She sighed tiredly, before snapping back up again. Wait? What? Beautiful? Malfoy? Am I going mad or something? He is NOT beautiful. Not even close. Nuh-uh! No way. Hermione, get a grip on yourself before your head falls off. You hit him with a left hook so hard his entire face popped! His entire damn face! His, ugly, pompous ferret-face. Stupid bastard! Hermione ran into her Arithmancy classroom just seconds before the final bell rang. She sat down and Professor Trinity shot her a scolding look. Hermione just mouthed "Sorry" before opening up her Arithmancy book. She sighed. Sorry Hermione. But today is going to be a long, god-awful day.

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Hermione collapsed on the bench at dinner. Her humongous bag of books just fell to the floor as she leaned on the table, leaning or her right fist, slouching. Being un-Hermione-ish. Again. Ron stared at her. She had never been so weird in one day before. Even on one of those days that Ginny classified as "Make a girl mad, and your great ugly buffoonish head will be ripped off and flaunted around on a giant pole days." It had been one of those days Ginny was having when she had told him that. He had immediately scampered out of the room. He winced at the memory. He still had the scar from when Ginny had thrown the lamp at him.

"Today sucked. Today was absolutely, utterly, completely, depressingly horrible. I need something to distract me. Someone give me a damned distraction before I break the table." She said the last sentence in a voice so quiet and deadly, people were scared NOT to talk to her. Harry launched on what had happened during Quidditch practice that afternoon. As he carried on, Hermione completely left the conversation, her head going elsewhere. Her eyes roamed over the Great Hall until her eyes were magnetically pulled towards the Slytherin Table. Her eyes looked over the expanse of the table before stopping on one pair of eyes. Silver grey eyes.

Her breath caught as she locked eyes with Malfoy. Her shallow breathing went unnoticed by the table as Hermione and Malfoy were locked in a stare-down. No, not a stare down. They were looking at each other like lovers that missed being together, kissing, and hugging. In other words, rather dreamily and content, yet fairly longingly. The moment Hermione registered this, a mask of pure fury blossomed across her face, and she flipped him off, with both hands. She jerked up the strap of her bag, and stalked out of the Great Hall, shaking with rage and fury. Harry sat there dumbfounded before asking Ron, "What'd I say?"

Hermione screamed, a loud screeching metallic sound, before throwing her bag down on her four-poster bed. She yelled, ranted, stomped, curse, destroyed, repaired(obviously), and screamed some more. She paused to catch her breath when the faint tell-tale whisper was heard, and she knew that boys were trying to get into her dorm. As she looked over the railing, she saw Harry guffawing at Ron, who was brushing dust and dirt of his robes. She leaped over the railing, and slid down the slide the stairs had magically formed.

She glared at them, her eyes shooting daggers. Had looks been able to kill, she would have to very unfortunate corpses to deal with right now. She decided to send her death glare at spot between them, her neck sore from whipping her head back and forth to tell the two of them off. "You two should know perfectly well that the stairs become a slide whenever a guy steps on them, it's happened to you before! Don't ever let me catch you trying to come up here again, because the second you make an ill-fated attempt, I will report you, and you will regret making the mistake a third time, because you will end up in the hospital wing encased in a matchbox. Now get out!" she whisper yelled, furiously. Ron and Harry were freaked out. Hermione had never been so blatantly mean before. Well, she had, but not to them. They ran away before she could inflict lasting damage on the two of them. She walked back up the newly restored stairs, fit to kill and destroy.

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Hermione was in a much better mood the next morning, but nobody dare test her patience today. Muggle Studies was first thing after lunch today. Damned project had to be worked on everyday in class with her partner! Hermione shushed herself before her frustrated growls got attention from other people. She just did her morning routine, and tried not to attract too much attention. She was dressed and ready to go before Ron and Harry were up. She decided to go up to their dorm and teach them a lesson. She used her wand to magically levitate a water jug over Harry and a cup of honey over Ron. She giggled as she ran out of their dorm and into the common room.

"Hermione? What's so funny? Why are you running so-HEY!" yelled Ginny when Hermione grabbed her by the back of her robes. Hermione explained as best she could while running down a flight of stairs, "I put a spell on a cup of honey and a water jug. They'll dump themselves over when I get too far away. And I should be too far away right about…now." They both heard a frustrated yell from inside the tower when they stepped out of the portrait hole. She and Ginny shared a look before collapsing and rolling around the floor with laughter.

When she and Ginny had finally recovered over their giggling fit they both walked down the ever moving staircases. When they finally reached the Great Hall, they sat down and dived into plates of bacon, eggs, toast, and waffles. Hermione poked Ginny and pointed to the doors, where Harry and Ron were coming in to eat. When Harry sat down, his hair was soaked, and small water droplets were all over his face and the shoulders of his robes. Ron's hair was sticky and gooey, with small spikes sticking up where the honey had dried. There were orange-yellow stains on his face from the honey. Hermione and Ginny plastered masks on their faces, with the expression of cool indifference and innocence. Harry wasn't fooled. Ron was. The ensuing,(and inevitable) argument was absolutely hilarious, with Harry flinging water on everyone, and Ron's hand getting stuck in his hair. Hermione burst into a fit of giggles at this, before pointing her wand at his head and saying, "Waddiwasi!" After breakfast, Hermione hurried off to her Ancient Runes class while Ron and Harry headed to the Divination tower. Hermione called after them, "Don't forget to tell me how you're going to die!" She laughed and ran the other direction to get to her class.

I suck at ending chapters, I admit. And I just couldn't find a good place to trash twilight in here. Who liked Ron's hair being full of honey? I thought it was bloody brilliant! / - wand smiley face! Anyway, I'm gonna find somewhere to trash twilight, cuz I already spent the 50 bucks yesterday…I got registered for school the other day, so I was really busy…..blegh….. Anyways…..gtg, ill post another chap in 1 or 2 days. Not long? Well I usually post 2 a day. So shut up and be happy I don't have anything else to do and I am showering you with un-necessary chapt3ers….and if your ever typing a word, put 3 in the middle of it. It thinks its spelled right! But it thinks I spelt Gryffindor wrong. Tsktsktsk….Word, you should really sort out your priorities….