Trope bingo: Postage stamp - in vino veritas/snowed in/fake relationship/free (sharing a bed)

In a personal first, this story contains absolutely no Phinbella. The flip side story, "Stuck In The Middle With You", makes up for it.

T rated for adult romance and off-screen sexual situations. Nothing explicit.

Other than "Stuck In The Middle With You," this does not share a timeline with any of my other stories.

Vanessa tried to let him down gently. "Look, Rodrigo, I'm not interested." She'd run into him at the ski resort, and even though eight years had passed since he was (briefly) her father's intern, he had immediately insisted that she go out with him.

"Ah, I will make you interested. I know you cannot resist the bad boys. It is fate that brought us together again," he said.

Won't take a hint. Lovely, she thought. "I have a boyfriend," she lied.

"He is not here. I will woo you away from him."

"I'm supposed to meet him here," she added desperately.

"I will win you before he shows up," he said insistently, following her as she walked across the lobby quickly.

Ahead, she saw a familiar face, a tall man with a square nose and a shock of brilliant green hair, still wearing his heavy jacket as he came in the front doors. Inwardly, she sighed in relief. Ferb had helped her out so many times before as a kid; maybe he could once more now that he was an adult.

"Ferb!" she called out. His head swiveled toward her, and he broke out in a smile. She caught up with him and suddenly gave him a big kiss, to his total surprise. His reactions were as fast as ever, though, and he made it look good. As they broke the kiss, she whispered, "I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend. Can you play along?"

He nodded almost imperceptibly, and she let out the breath she'd been holding.

Turning, she saw that Rodrigo's jaw had dropped. "Rodrigo, this is my boyfriend Ferb. Ferb, this is Rodrigo, who's just leaving."

Rodrigo's eyes narrowed. "So, that is how it is, eh? We shall see, Vanessa Doofenshmirtz. We shall see." He turned and stalked away, glancing back every now and then.

Ferb said quietly, "I've got a reservation at the hotel restaurant in ten minutes - shall we see if they can accommodate a party of two?"

Vanessa nodded.

Ferb tracked the watcher out of the corner of his eye. "He's still watching," he said quietly as they sat together in the hotel restaurant.

"I'm sorry I got you mixed up in this, Ferb. He just wasn't taking no for an answer," Vanessa apologized.

He looked over at her. Long brown hair and brilliant blue eyes, set off by a light grey blouse and blue jeans. She looks as marvelous as ever, he thought. "I'm not sorry. That was certainly a pleasant way to meet you again. And it would be ungentlemanly not to aid a lady in distress."

She frowned. "I wasn't in distress. I could have taken care of him. Dad made sure I have self-defense equipment and training. But it would have created a scene, and that could look bad for both me and uncle Roger. Anyway, it gives me an excuse to catch up with you," she said, the frown fading into a slight smile. "So what have you been up to? I haven't seen you in a couple years."

"I'm a freshman at CalTech, studying mechanical engineering. It's spring break, so I decided to do some skiing. And yourself?"

"I worked on my uncle Roger's election campaign for his Senate run, and I'm working at his Danville office now, triaging constituent issues for him. I'm basically in charge of that office at this point. He's helping me get the connections I need to run for office myself in a few years."

"Another Mayor Doofenshmirtz?"

Vanessa shrugged. "It's not like Mayor Johansen's doing such a great job. And, yeah, the name recognition will help. I've had to suffer with this name for years, I might as well get something out of it. Next election is in three years, and I think I've got a decent shot. Even my Dad is okay with it now. He says politics is just another form of evil, and as long as my goal is to take over 'The Entire Tri-State Area', he's proud of me."

"You've got my vote. Absentee, if necessary," Ferb said.

"Thanks, that's nice to know. So I came here for a vacation, far enough from Danville that I'm not always worried about some reporter doing an exposé on everything I do. 'Top Senator's aide in taser incident,' or whatever."

He hesitated, then asked, "So what do we do about Shadow over there? My energy scanner doesn't show anything interesting on him, but if he's an evil scientist like your father..."

"Worse than my father, from what I've seen," Vanessa interjected.

"...worse than your father, then. So he probably has some rather dangerous toys to play with hidden nearby. All my defense systems are back in the cabin I'm renting, so until I get back there, it looks like our inventory is my scanner and your two-shot stunner, plus whatever you have in your room."

She raised an eyebrow and said wryly, "How did you know about the stunner?"

He held up his phone. "Energy scanner. I didn't just scan him."

She nodded. "I don't have anything special back in my room."

"Hrm. Why don't we swing over to the cabin and I'll let you borrow my teleport inhibitor and my electronic door jammer, then?"

"Why do you have a teleport inhibitor and an electric door jammer?"

"Force of habit. Phineas likes playing practical jokes."

"Oh? How's he doing these days?"

A flash of old pain went through Ferb; he thought he'd masked it all, but a concerned look from Vanessa indicated otherwise. "He's studying theoretical physics at MIT. Beyond that, I don't know. We're...not as close as we used to be."

Vanessa nodded, and thankfully changed the subject. "Maybe we can lose our shadow on the way to the cabin. I hope that he'll take the hint eventually, or his nemesis will show up. I assume the OWCA has somebody fighting him."

Rodrigo watched the car driving off. Some snow, I think, to strand you, and then I can rescue you from your helpless boyfriend and be your true evil knight in shining black armor. He retrieved the snow-o-lador from where he had stashed it, aiming it at the heavens.

And here I thought all I'd do with this was make for some really good skiing.

Behind him, he heard the sound of a trap springing shut. Turning around, he saw a large yellow rodent in a fedora, caught by a metal band that had sprung out from behind a tree.

"Ah, Clarence the Capybara. You are, as always, expected. I'm just creating some snow to help me woo the woman of my dreams. Este aqui, the snow-o-lador! With this, I will create a massive snowstorm, stranding her so that I can rescue her and win her heart!"

He was silenced by the sudden blow of a capybara fist. "What? But you were..." Another hit, and he fell back onto the snow-o-lador, shoving the 'severity' level from 'heavy snow', past 'blizzard', to 'snowmageddon' as he fell onto the activation button.

They'd just arrived at the cabin when snow started falling, but by the time they reached the door it was already coming down heavily. They ducked inside and watched the world outside turn almost solid white.

Vanessa looked across at Ferb. "Um...they weren't forecasting snow for today last I saw."

Ferb nodded silently, and turned the television to the local weather.

The normally-cheerful weather person was listening to her earpiece with a distressed look on her face. "We are getting reports of a sudden, unexpected heavy snowfall," she said. "The National Weather Service is issuing an emergency winter storm warning, and advising all those in the area shelter indoors as soon as possible. We have no estimate on how long this will last or how much snow there will be."

Vanessa smiled faintly. "Ferb, I think you're stuck with me."

Rodrigo flung the capybara away from him and pressed the launch button on the snow-o-lador. It took off, seeding a massive snowfall over a wider area. Agent C swung back into action, handcuffing the evil scientist to the departing device.

"Wait, what?" Rodrigo said as he was suddenly whisked away. "Curse you, Clarence the Capybara!"

The capybara watched as the departing snow-o-lador exploded from the extra load on it - but not before the storm had reached self-sustaining levels.

Ferb completed the tour of the small cabin. "Only one bed, unfortunately. You may have it; I'll take the couch."

Vanessa shook her head. "Ferb, that couch is tiny - you'd kill your back. This bed is huge. We can share."

"Are you sure?"

"I am. Do you have a shirt I can borrow to sleep in? All my pajamas are back in my hotel room."

He rooted around in a drawer for a moment before handing her a large T-shirt.

Ferb woke to a warm arm wrapped around his chest from behind, a bare leg hooked around his own, and a soft body pressed to his back. They'd gone to sleep on opposite sides of the bed, but apparently had met in the middle overnight.

I could get used to this, he thought. Too bad it'll end as soon as she wakes up.

He sighed, and Vanessa made sleepy grumble noises as she pulled him in more tightly.

Vanessa's eyes opened to a view of green hair. She had curled up against Ferb overnight, and it took her a moment for her brain to process this. He'd gone to bed wearing just a pair of shorts, and now she could feel her skin against his, all along their legs and the arm she'd wrapped around his bare chest in her sleep.

She tensed suddenly, realizing where she was. Here I am, snuggled up to a barely eighteen-year-old man in a cabin in the woods. At least no reporters can get through to here either; I'm sure they'd love to splash this across the paper. There's a headline: 'Senator's aide caught in tryst with teenager.'

Ferb rolled over to look her in the eye. "It's okay," he said.

She sat up. "No, it's not. Look, Ferb, you're a really nice guy, but getting involved with you is political suicide for me. 'Cradle-snatcher' doesn't look good in a headline."

He nodded sadly, and it felt like a cold band constricting around her heart.

Ferb came out of the shower to find Vanessa sitting in front of the TV watching the weather.

"They're saying more snow through the day, although not as bad as last night. They don't think the plows will be catching up until tonight, so I may need to spend another night here," she reported.

"What would you like for breakfast? Eggs, sausage, and toast sound okay?"

"Sounds wonderful. I saw you've got a pretty decent selection in there - were you expecting company?"

"Not so much expecting as hoping."

She paused. "I completely messed up your plans, didn't I? Were you planning to pick someone up at the hotel?"

He smiled at her. "Arguably, I did pick someone up. But, no, you didn't mess things up. If it weren't for you, I'd have been here alone for this."

"Think fast!" Vanessa shouted.

Ferb looked up, only to catch a snowball in the face. He wiped the snow away, then threw his own snowball at her, grazing the back of her jacket as she dodged.

He flung himself behind a tree, hearing a thwap as another snowball shredded itself against his newfound shield. Packing a new snowball of his own, he poked his head around the tree quickly, not seeing her. He snapped back behind the tree, trying to figure out where she was hiding. The light snow still falling in the afternoon was covering up their tracks, and making it hard to follow where Vanessa might have gone. He stalked around the tree, weapon at the ready.

With a cry of triumph, she sprung from her hiding place, tackling him into the snow. He found himself lying flat on his back, looking up at her. Her face was red from the cold and exertion; her brown hair was peeking out around the edges of her hat, some wisps from the back sneaking around to coyly curl around her face. Her brilliantly-blue eyes twinkled as she smiled down at him.

And then the moment passed, as if she had just realized that she was in an unseemly position for an up-and-coming politician. The smile faded as she stood up, helping him back up. "That was fun, Ferb," she said. "Thanks for suggesting it. I needed to get out of the cabin for a few minutes."

He nodded as they walked back to the cabin. Once inside, they shed wet jackets and boots. "Why don't you go warm up by the fire, and I'll make some tea?" he suggested.

"Oh, that sounds great. Thank you, Ferb," she said, and smiled at him again.

As the water came to a boil, Ferb thought about the situation. She's interested. Even Phineas could figure out that she's interested. And then the political implications of a relationship between us hits her, and she shuts down.

He sighed. And there isn't a thing I can do about it. I'm still just too young. Maybe in a few more years...but I don't want to wait that long. He looked up, catching her looking at him. She looked away quickly with a faint blush. I don't think she does either.

"You're quite the chef," Vanessa said as he placed the plate in front of her, beef tips in a mushroom sauce resting on a bed of mashed potatoes, with asparagus to the side.

"Thank you," Ferb responded. "Care for some wine to go with it? I had to open it for the sauce, so it should be drunk sooner rather than later." He held out a bottle of merlot.

She smiled at him. "Aren't you a little young to have alcohol?"

"Yes, yes I am. But only because this country is still working through its Puritan past. Candace got me this for Christmas."

She laughed, shaking her head. "Sure, that'd be fine."

He retrieved two wine glasses and poured some for each of them. Sitting across from her, he picked up his glass and raised it in a toast. "To good food and good company."

Vanessa inclined her head and clinked her glass with his.

The dinner dishes had been washed and put away; they'd finished off the wine and were sitting together on the small couch in front of the fire. Vanessa could feel the wine making her a little light-headed; Ferb looked a little flushed as well.

This is a colossally bad idea, she thought as she turned to face him. Senator's aide in drunken hookup with teenage boy. "Ferb...if it weren't for the political mess it'd cause, I could totally fall for you right now."

Ferb's brow creased in thought. "What mess, though? You were willing to throw yourself at me back at the hotel."

"A too-young boyfriend would still be better than being involved in an assault investigation, even if it came down as self-defense in the end. Uncle Roger's first bit of advice when I told him I wanted to get into politics was to always act like the press is watching you. If you get into the habit before they start, then you don't have to re-learn once you become known."

"I get that, but...what mess? There's no press around - that's why you're here and not in Danville. We're both consenting adults. We haven't seen each other in years before this. And...the surest way to get the press after you is to act like you're hiding something. But even if it's an issue, then if we start now, in three years when you're running for mayor it'll be old news."

Vanessa sat back. That makes a frightening amount of sense. I hope it isn't just the wine telling me that.

Well, if it is, I'll figure it out in the morning.

She smiled at him. "I'm overthinking this, aren't I?"

He nodded.

"Well, we'll have to do something about that," she said, leaning forward to kiss him.

Vanessa awoke, lying face-down on the bed, with an unfamiliar pressure across her lower back. She looked around as best she could just moving her head.

She was in Ferb's bed again. That was expected. The plow hadn't gone through yet as of when they'd last checked. Ferb was lying next to her, on his side, with his arm resting across her. That was the pressure on her back; it felt like his arm was under the shirt she was wearing.

She was wearing Ferb's shirt, the one he'd been wearing all day yesterday. That was a bit disconcerting. She tried to remember just how that had happened. They'd started kissing, and had moved in here because...well, that couch really was too small to lie down on.

How far did we go? I wasn't that drunk. Half a bottle of wine...well, when's the last time I had anything significant to drink? Heavy drinking looks bad. I suppose I don't have the tolerance of a college student any more.

Memory continued. They'd lay in bed, and been kissing, and then had decided it was time for sleep. She'd stolen the shirt off his back to sleep in, but...nothing beyond that? That sounded right. They'd agreed not to do anything else while drunk, and just gone to sleep from there.

Ferb twitched, his eyelids slowly opening. Vanessa rolled to face him; his arm slid around from her back to rest on her hip.

"G'morning," he mumbled sleepily, sliding his other arm under her pillow and pulling her closer. She went along, getting enfolded in his warm embrace. She kissed his shoulder as it came into reach; he turned his face toward her, and their lips met.

"Now that's a pleasant way to wake up," she said.

"Mm," he agreed, blinking. "It is." His free hand started rubbing across her back under the shirt.

"I think we could make it even better," she suggested.

Ferb raised an eyebrow.

"You see, I'm pretty sure neither of us is drunk any more."

Ferb's hand roamed down from her back, pulling her hips toward him. "I think you're right. Maybe we should continue where we left off last night."

They arrived at the hotel in time for lunch. Spending the morning in bed with Vanessa had been incredible, but after the snowplow gave them the opportunity to finally leave the cabin, they took it. Tomorrow they could go skiing, but today it was time to explore the hotel's amenities - the hot tub sounded particularly promising.

Vanessa reached across the restaurant table and took his hand. He smiled, and whispered, "What if someone sees?"

She shrugged. "Let 'em. I've spent too much time worrying about that already. We've only got a week together before you need to go back to school; I want to enjoy it."

"I may have good news on that front. My phone finally got a signal on the way here, and I got an apology email from Phineas. If he's really done being a git, I may be able to get a teleporter out of him. That would make visiting a lot easier."

"I'm looking forward to it already."