This is my crazy life, let me get over it and move on.

This could just be the worst idea I ever had. I mean, it was Victor, Ade, Jasper, (Eric...) and Robert Smith. Now look.

It's all because I did the opposite of what I told Mara two terms ago when she changed her image for Mick. I changed who I am.

I've made a complete mess of it all. Instead of winning respect from others, I lost more of what little I had and my dignity into the bargain.

I started off by secretly buying a lot of new clothes with all my saved up wages. Then when I had an entire new wardrobe full of black tops and mini skirts and tight leather pants, I started buying stiletto heels and black and light brown makeup.

Once I had all that, I got some hair straighteners and black leather gloves without the finger tops and pin on studs for my clothes.

Then I started spending Friday and Saturday nights out in town. I had lost a lot of weight over the past summer, so the new clothes really worked.

One night, I was out with a bunch of girls I knew from school and we went to some club. We drank so much, we were on a real high. When it got past two in the morning, I had to go home.

Victor was waiting for me. And to make matters worse, so were all the kids. I could barely stand up.

Being very drunk, I laughed as Victor told me off.

"Trudy, from the children, I expect this kind of nonsense. I expect much more from you."

I giggled, knowing full well that I was in deep trouble.

"Ooh, come on, darling. We all know what you expect."

The kids all gasped and stared at me as I shamelessly flirted right in front of them.

"Trudy, go to your room. Now."

The kids were beyond speech and movement. I knew I was in the worst trouble possible. But it was Eddie who spoke up first.

"She's clearly drunk. Someone should help her."

Mara stepped up. At least, I think it was Mara.

"I'll help her. She'll need a friend. Come on, Trudy. You need to go to bed."

I yelled "Who needs to sleep? We need to party all night!"

Mara said "No, we don't. You are going to bed and you are going to like it."

"Nah. Come on, Victor, let's get out the sound system and we'll have a party!"

"No, Trudy. Go to bed, we'll sort this all out in the morning."

"I don't want to go to bed, I wanna party til I drop!" I fell onto him and met his lips with my own. He pushed me off.

"And you really did drop wearing... What the heck are you wearing?!"

"I was out clubbing, wasn't I? So I put this on. You like?"

I struck a pose. Every single boy in the hall dropped his jaw. The girls had to drag them away, then I shouted.

"Hey come on, kids! Party time!"

Victor picked me up and carried me to my room. Mara let him in and she had to battle with me after that.

Let's say that eventually, Mara had me in my bed and going to sleep.

When I woke up, I had a massive headache. I forced myself out of bed and started making food. I succeeded without any problems. Then I'd dished up and taken ibuprofen. Sure, I needed pain relief.

Victor came in.

"Trudy, a word in my office, please?"

I went upstairs with him, then he sat opposite me.

"Trudy, I am appalled by your behaviour last night. What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't. I was being thoughtless. I acted very stupidly and I promise I won't be doing it again."

"I'm happy to hear you say that. Now, tell what the reason behind all this is. You've been incredibly quiet recently and suddenly you decide you're going to go and start acting like a teenager. What happened to your usual well-behaved manner?"

"I would say I was just bored, but that would be a lie. Truth is, I was lonely and I wanted respect. I was stupid enough to go and change who I am for that and ended up losing what respect I had. I am a very bad example to the students and I completely understand any decision you have in the way of punishment."

"Why were you lonely and why didn't you mention it?"

"I think I'm just doing what I never did as a teenager and last night was just that stupid kind of break-through. I wanted to have a man by my side and I thought the best way to do that was to change. Idiot me. And I never mentioned it because I knew nobody would care. So I didn't want to inflict problems on people who didn't want to know."

"Trudy, you're a good girl usually and maybe this time was just a little slip up on your crazy wild side. I won't be punishing, because you're a legal adult and because this was just a little slip. And next time you feel lonely, come up here and talk about it. Even if you really think I have too much on my mind."

"Victor, I know you don't truly like me in that sense, but you should know that I honestly think the world of you."

"You know, Trudy, the reason I don't like you like that is because I love you as a daughter. That's why I asked you up here. And if it's a man you want, then why don't you try to see who likes you for who you are?"

"Victor, nobody likes me for who I am. And I do mean nobody."

"I can think of a certain someone who loves you already in the sense you want him to love you."

"Really, who?"

"He's coming over later on today."

"Who is it?"

"It's not the time to tell you. None of the students really know. They only know that someone is coming round to see you."

"What? I'm sorry, excuse me?"

"You heard me, Trudy. Now go downstairs. You need to get dressed."

"Is there a dress code of anything suitable?"

"No, wear what you like. I just think your usual look will be best, just modest jeans and a shirt."

I nodded. I knew to let this mystery man fall for what I really am, not just the look of my clothes. So I did that.

I made a special thank you lunch for Victor but I ate nothing myself, thinking that he wouldn't want me if I stank of food. I had a drink of water, cleaned my teeth and had a strongly coconut scented bath and washed my hair in a strong coconut shampoo. I used a blow dryer on my hair and curled it with my straighteners.

Then I put on a long white very short-sleeved dress and tiny heeled white shoes.

I put on pale gold lipstick and eye shadow, with a little bit of black eyeliner. I'd painted my finger nails neutral. I put in soft pearl earrings and made myself pretty.

At eight in the evening, after eight long hours of preparation, I was called out of my room.

"Trudy, come out of there, now!"

I heard indistinct voices and I couldn't make out who it was who was talking.

I came out and Victor saw me.

"OK, to the living room."

He went to his office. I walked into the living room. All the kids were stood about the sides of the room. Someone stood up from the sofa.

"Miss Trudy."

I turned, shocked. It was Jasper.

"You're even more beautiful than the last time I saw you."

"I've lost some weight, I think."

"You truly didn't need to. You're perfect. Amber, will you, please?"

Amber put on Celine Dion, The Power Of Love.

"Miss Trudy, would you care to dance?"

"Of course."

We danced to the music, enjoying our every second together.

(Amber.)

Aw, Trudy looks like an angel. How long did it take her to do all that? I've never seen her look that pretty in my life. And I've known her since I was 11! She's always been pretty.

She's known Jerome since he was 5 so she's been practically his mum for 13 years. And he said she's never looked better than she does now.

(Jasper.)

She's an angel that has literally fallen from heaven. She's glowing. I know that it isn't natural, but falling in love is not falling for a perfect person, it's seeing perfection in an imperfect person.

Too bad I see perfection in a perfect person. Trudy has no flaws.

(Trudy.)

There was glittery look in his eyes as he looked down into my eyes. I must be tiny as well as horrible. He wouldn't have been that impressed with who I was last night.

"You're so light on your feet, Trudy."

"You're an amazing dancer."

He made me twirl, then pulled me back.

"Trudy, I think I should call Heaven because they're missing an angel."

"Really? I didn't know you'd dropped from there. Where are your wings?"

"I didn't mean me, my bella ragazza."

I didn't get the last part.

"I meant you. And what does that mean?"

"Mm? Bella ragazza? It means beautiful girl."

"What language is that?"

"Italian."

"OK, well. In that case. Io ti amo e ti prometto di amarti per tutta l'eternità, non importa ciò che viene o va tra di noi. Tu sei la mia vita e l'anima. Senza di te, la vita per me non significherebbe nulla."

(I love you and I promise to love you for all eternity, no matter what comes or goes between us. You are my life and soul. Without you, life would mean nothing to me.)

I spoke quickly, but not so fast that he wouldn't understand.

"Se tu non esistessi o l'universo che hai preso da terra, il mio mondo sarebbe come la terra senza il sole. Freddo, buio e deprimente e tutta la vita che mi avrebbe cessato di esistere."

(If you did not exist or the universe that you took from the earth, my world would be like the earth without the sun. Cold, dark and depressing, and the life that I would cease to exist)

He replied with the same speed I had.

"Ho una domanda."

(I have a question)

"Dillo a me."

(Tell me.)

"Vuoi baciarmi in questo momento?"

(Do you want to kiss me right now?)

"Sì, la mia bella ragazza, naturalmente."

(Yes, my beautiful girl, of course.)

We kissed, there and then. I knew I'd been an idiot last night, but here was my chance to make up for it and be a better person.

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This may be kind of soppy and boring and very OOC, but I'd like to hear your views. Until next time, Random Dizzy. :D