Family Guy's Extra Special Road Trip (Season 1)

Episode 5: Imagination Constipation

Chapter 1: No Imagination, No Pensioon

Episode Summary: If you though Peter's imagination ran wild before, then wait until the Griffin family arrives at a house where nothing but imagination runs wild. That's right. The next stop for them is 'Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends' where good ideas are not forgotten. After meeting everyone, Peter wanders into the pre-school section of the home, meeets the pre-school friends, and decides to build an amusement park ride for them, with less than satisfying results. Plus, when Chris and Bloo immediately bond, they get into all sorts of trouble including harassing the friends of Foster's, and Mr. Herriman does whatever it takes to get Peter's amusement park ride shut down when he realizes it is doing more harm than good.

Disclaimer: Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends and Family Guy do not belong to me. They belong to Craig McCracken and Seth MacFarlane respectively.

TV-PG-DL (Rated T on the site)

"Dialogue"

'Thoughts', Long-distance conversations (such as on the phone), song lyrics, or cutaways/flashbacks

"Voice-overs, either from a flashback in present time, or from present time during a Flashback."

After bailing Peter out in Amity Park, Lois and the rest of the family decided to levave before Peter caused anymore trouble. They said their goodbyes to the Fenton family, and then made their way to leave.

But they soon found themselves heading to the police station instead of the open road because as it turns out, Peter had set Danny's statue on fire the night before while on the run from the police.

"Officer, uh, what is the meaning of this?" Peter asked the police officer in the interrogation room.

"I should be asking you that. Sir, you set the statue of our world hero on fire. First you broek it and then you set it on fire!"

"Hey you know full well the breaking it was on accident, and if you still don't know that, you're a Jew. That's right. I went there. I can be sexist too. Just like I was to Constance Marie on my own version of The Tonight Show."

(Cue Cutaway)

We cutaway to Peter Griffin and Constance Marie on the set of Peter's Tonight Show.

"So, uh, Constance, in that episode of George Lopez where you and George throw your daughter her quincenera, why are you such a bitch?"

(End Cutaway)

"Or that time at the grocery store."

(Cue Cutaway)

We cutaway to Peter Griffin and a young supermodel in her 20's at a grocery store. The supermodel is the one buying and Peter is the one working the register.

"Sorry, miss, but this is the express line, 10 items or less." Peter said strictly to the model. "I'm really strict about those kinds of rules now. It's a new rule."

"The guy in front of me had 12 items and you let him go."

"Yeah, it's kind of a brand new rule...alright, you know what? I'm gonna be honest. I've seen your work and I think you are a total bitch. There, out in the open. There, I said it."

(End Cutaway)

After a few hours at the police station and a stop at the cemetery to put flowers on Peter Jr.'s grave (The Juice is Loose), they had finally arrived in a new town, on a new street: 1123 Wilson Way. Their house was right across from an enormous, and very colorful hours. None of the Griffin family had any idea what kind of house that was or what it did, but it did draw their attention.

In reality, the house that they were looking at was Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, the place where good ideas are not forgotten. Literally, it was a home full of friends created by little children. Whenever children got too old to keep their imaginary friends, they would be sent to Foster's, to be taken care of like they were at home, until the time came for them to be adopted by another loving family. Jeez, it's like a cult!

But it didn't bother the family...mainly because they didn't know about it yet. So they went up to the house, and rang its doorbell. "My, my, this is such a colorful home." Lois pointed out, noting its many colors and tall structure.

"Yeah, but I just hope the people who run this home aren't like the ones you see on TV. You know, like, black 'n stuff." Peter said out of nowhere. Nobody paid any attention though, as they were too drawn in by the color that was the house. Boy were they in for a rude awakening. Let's watch.

"You know, I'm suddenly getting the feeling that this isn't going to be as glamorous as we hope. You know...like that time I got that video game and I couldn't play it."

(Cue Cutaway)

We cutaway to Chris Griffin about to open up a Dragonball: Raging Blast video game that he had gotten for Christmas. He was about to open up his Nintendo Wii gaming set to put the disk in...but then he realized he had gotten an Xbox 360 version by mistake, and the game wasn't avaliable for Wii. "Dammit!"

(End Cutaway)

After a moment of waiting, the door finally opened up and theree stood what everyone thought was a rabbit earing a conductor's coat, a top hot, and a monicule. "Welcome to Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, can I help you?" The rabbit said to the family, which surprised them all.

"Dad, I'm scared." CHris whispered to his father.

"Chris, there's no need to be afraid. This is obviously just one of those holograms things that those big-assed hotels use to scare off the Jews. I remember I used to do that."

(Cue Cutaway)

We cutaway to a Jewish lady walking up to Peter's house. There is a booth set up that says 'Take a number'. The lady takes a number from the roll of tickets, and then waits quietly for some service. After a moment, Peter, in a Hitler outfit, starts scaring the lady out of her pants, causing her to run away screaming. "Tell your friends what you just saw!"

(End Cutaway)

"Sir, I can honestly say that this is in no way a costume. I am Mr. Herriman, head of Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends."

"Then what the hell's with the costue. You look like Fidel Castro except without the vagina."

"You people aren't from around here, are you?"

"No, in fact, we just--" Meg was cut off by the sound of gunshots by Peter, who had pulled out a pistol and shot his daughter, sick of her constant ranting. Though no one really seemed to care.

"No, in fact, we just moved in across the street over there. We're on a year long road trip to renew our worthless lives."

"Oh. Alright then. Then please, come inside." Mr. Herriman opened both doors and allowed all of them, including the gunshot wounded Meg, to enter. They were absoluely amazed at how big the place was. "You see, here at Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, we provide the upmost care for these imaginary creatures. After their children grow tired of them, they are taken here to be nurtured, cared for until another family comes along to adopt them for themselves."

"Wait a minute, so you're telling me that kids' imaginations actually produce real friends?" Lois asked, skeptical as everyone.

"Well yes, Lois. Didn't you know that?" Peter told off Lois, though it was for the wrong reasons. "I mean, it's been like that since thd dawn of time. Since 9/11." See, I told you.

"Ugh, no, it's not like that at all! THis a highly prestigious home with top-notch service from our workers. Or should I say...worker." Mr. Herriman went over to the intercom and started talking into it. "Ms. Francis, Ms. Francis. Your presence is required in the grand hall."

"Wow, I didn't know Carrie Underwood worked here." Peter called out in a retarded way. Mr. Harriman gave him a glare and then turned back to the intercom, as Frankie Foster, one of the employees (or for that matter, the only employee) came down the stairs.

"What? I was in the middle of cleaning the bathrooms!?"

"Ms. Francis, this family is new to the neighborhood and would like a tour of our facility."

"Dad, why is John Lennon speaking such big words?" Chris the retarded child asked his father.

"I don't know, Chris. Maybe it's because he thinks we're all stupid. Hey, look buddy, we don't appreciate your kind. Thinking we're all stupid and such. Jeez, you're an even bigger jerk than that guy who wouldn't give me another drink."

(Cue Cutaway)

We cutaway to Peter Griffin in the Drunken Clam, and he's had probably about 12 shots of beer in the past half hour. Horris is growing concerned as Peter becomes more drunk.

"Yeah--H-Ho-Horris. Horris, get...get me...ah, what is it called? Uh...get me another...uh, um...beer! Yes, beer, that's it."

"Forget it, Griffin. You're wasted. There's no way you're getting another shot. In fact I think it's best if you go home."

Peter looked lazily at Horris for a moment, and then began bawling like a little child. He banged the counter a couple of times, which, instead of making Horris cave in like Peter had hoped for, actually creeped him out. Enough to make him leave the Clam in a hurry.

(End Cutaway)

Frankie Foster took the family on a tour around the home of Foster's, showing them every single room, bathroom, game room, hallway possible of the enormous house that was Foster's.

They were about to go onto another floor and go to the Game Room when Chris noticed a tall, red friend with a banged up eye and arm walk by twirling a basketball on his finger. This scared the hell out of him, though he did not show it. Instead, he simply asked for excusion, left the group and followed the tall guy quietly. Once the tall frined, who was named Wilt, caught on to Chris following him, he turned around and gladly greeted him. Chris, on the other hand, took out a crowbar calmly, and then started savagely beating him with it. Wilt was nearly crippled by Chris, but thankfully, Frankie and Lois pulled Chris out of it safely.

"What are you doing!? Stop it!"

"Monster! Destroy!! Kill!! Murder!! Jerry Seinfield!!" Chris kept yelling as Frankie and Lois dragged him out of there. Peter was nonetheless more proud.

"Boy, I've taught that boy well. And it's about time one of my life lessons have paid off. Not like that time I tried to teach Chris all about the wonders of dead bodies."

(Cue Cutaway)

We cutaway to Peter and Chris out in the woods, shoveling up a dirt hole wherea dead body lies.

"Now Chris, what I have taught you about dead bodies today is gonna help you through your college years and eventually through your adulthood. These things are not to be taken lightly as they may change the course of history with as simple as a little child's dead body."

"OK, but dad, you didn't teach me anything. You just said 'Oh look at how deep that hole is. I bet we could fit in a dead body', then you reached into the trunk, pulled out that 2-year old girl you choked to death with chloroform and stuffed her body down the hole."

"Oh. Oh yeah, you're right. Uh, well, Chris, basically all you need to know is that the sight of a dead body is the most disgusting sight possible except for that of Jennifer Love Huet."

(End Cutaway)

Meanwhile, other imaginary friends, Bloo, Eduardo, and Coc came in, and saw that Chris was trying to get out of Franki'e sgrip to continue assaulting Wilt.

"Whoa, champ, where's the fire!?" Bloo sarcastically said to Chris, who took a quick look at Bloo before trying anxiously to break free of the grip and assault him. Bloo didn't realize this but Eduardo, Wilt, and Coco did, and tried desperately to keep Chris in line!"

"I'm sorry, but you're crazy!"

"Ayudame! Ayudame!"

"COCO COCO COCO COCO COCOCOCO!"

"Monsters! Monsters! AAAHHHH Michael Moore! AHHH!"

When they finally got him to calm down, it was because Peter had kicked Chris in his testicles hard enough to make the pain in his lower body worse than his desire to kill the imaginary friends.

"CHris, what has gotten into you!?"

"I'm sorry, mom. It's just that...well, I've never seen so many colorfully challenged monsters before in my life."

"Monsters? They're not monsteres. They're imaginary friends." Frankie explained.

"Crazy-redhead-lady say what?"

"Yeah, dude, Where'd you think the name 'Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends' came from?" Bloo asked.

"I thought it was a clever name to disguise this here cult from Saddam Hussein who's been hunting you people down since the 1880's, ever since September 11th."

"Chris, Saddam Hussein's been dead for over 7 years and September 11th was back in 2001." Brian corrected him, groaning in the process.

"Oh."

"Yeah, Chris, I'm retarded and even I know that." Peter then turned to Brian and started whispering. "Is he the guy from that 'Transformers' movie?"

"No."

"Imagine that?"

"No."

"Ice Age: The Meltdown?"

"No!"

"Night at the Mus-"

"No, No! Dammit Peter, Saddam Hussein was not in any American movies. He was a terrorist."

"What do terrorists have to do with movies? And for that matter, did anyone see the most recent 'I'm a Celebrity, Get me Out of Here'? My god, Sanjaya is a jungle freak. He's like George of the Jungle, only without the female genital organs."

"Huh?"

Brian slapped his forehead, Lois groanecd, and Chris, Meg & Stewie paid no attention. The imaginary friends all exchanged confused looks.

"My god, he is the biggest idiot ever! This is a man who is so stupid it's no wonder he lost that 'Yo mama' fight!"

(Cue Cutaway)

We cutaway to Peter Griffin in a boxing ring with Sanjaya, and the two of them are about to duke it out, in a classic 'Yo Mama' fight. The crowd was going nuts as Peter was about to gibve Sanjaya a run for his money.

"Your mama's so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept!" The crowd filed with gasps and 'oohs' and 'ahhs' of amazement. One point for Peter.

"Yo, your mama's so dumb she stole free bread!" Sanjaya barked, getting some uproars from the audience.

"Your mama's so fat that Renee Williams took one look at her and said 'Damn!'" Peter sparked.

"Your mama's so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes!"

"Your mama's so greasy that...that....peanut butter looks at you and puts a gun to its head." Peter had officially run out of steam, and for that crack, received nothing but a boo from an audience member and a feeling of shame in the air.

Sanjaya broke the silence. "Your mama's so stupid she took a spoon to the Superbowl." He got the crowd uproaring again, but for him instead of Peter. Peter smirked angrily and then hung his head down and left.

(End Cutaway)

"You know, this house is so big and colorful. Why is it so big again? You guys running a cult or something?"

"No, Mr Griffin." Mr. Herriman said as he hoped into the scene. Well, he is a rabbit, after all. "You see, Foster's is run mainly to ensure the safety and well-being of imaginary friends after their creators get tired of them or are forced to get rid of them."

"So you mean in this town people just create imaginary friends like..." He snapped his fingers. "That?"

"Yes."

"Of course, dad. It's very easy if you have a good imagination." Meg said, reflecting on a past experience. "Remember my first imaginary friend? Back when I was 5?"

"Oh yeah, I rememebr that. It turned out to be a bird/airplane/tree/Jordin Sparks thing, right?"

"Yeah. That's why we had it dropped out of a plane onto an island." Lois added.

"Yeah. In fact..." Meg turned around and got a closer look at Coco. "It looked something like this imaginary friend right he-" And then it clicked in. The truth had revealed itself to everyone. Meg Griffin was Coco's creator. Bloo, Wilt, Eduardo, Mr. Herriman, and Frankie's jaw dropped to the ground.

"Wow. This is amazing." Frankie exclaimed happily.

"Yes, we've been trying to find Miss Coco's creator for 13 years. This is spectacular!"

"No it's not! Meg sucks!" Peter yelled out. "She's got practically no friends, she hasn't had any friends the past 10 months, and the only guy she had a serious relationship with died in Iraq. If that's not sad, then please...please, play me '300' because I will cry at that. And not just through my eyes, through my penis too. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go exploring." And with that, Peter turned around and took his leave to get lost somewhere else in the house, leaving everyone else in the room, speechless, until Mr. Herriman and Stewie broke the silence.

"Who wants a half n' half?"

"I'll throw my hat into that ring."

End of Chapter 1!

Next Time: Peter wanders in the pre-school section of the house. Plus, Chris and Bloo instantly bond.

Expected Update: July 8th.