What Ya Reading?
Disclaimer: CBS owns Criminal Minds, it's never going to be mine. Darn it.
Summary: What happens when one smug agent comes across a diary? He better hope the owner never finds out.
Special Thanks To: NicknHotchfan for the prompt. Hope you like it.
A/N: So I racked my brain for this prompt, I hope everyone enjoys it.
Thanks for reading, I know I say it every time, but how about a review?
"It seems to me that the problems with diaries, and the reason that most of them are so boring, is that everyday we vacillate between examining our hangnail and speculating on cosmic order." Ann Beattie
Emily moved some paper work on her desk to hide the small journal. It was her sworn duty to keep the sacred diary safe. To guard it with her life.
She knew it was stupid to keep it out on the desk instead of in the safe confines of her desk, her purse or hell even her car but she couldn't do that now.
Not with the entire team wandering around on the ground floor of the bullpen.
'Shit, how the hell am I going to keep this diary safe now?' Emily thought as she looked around to see JJ and Garcia in an animated conversation.
When the two blondes look over at her, they gave her a nod of approval and wander into JJ's office.
Her office phone pulled Emily from her inner thoughts and she rolled her eyes as she listened to Strauss on the phone.
"I'll be right there, ma'am." Emily said on the phone.
As she looked around to see Hotch and Morgan in a conversation while Dave wandered up to his office with a cup of coffee.
Sighing she chanced a look over her shoulder and seen Reid working on a case file, working hard as ever. Relief filled her soul as she knew that Reid won't care about reading her a diary.
Picking up her cell phone, she shot a quick text saying that the diary was hidden under her paper work. Frowning when her cell phone screen went blank, she sighed when she seen the message was sent.
Grabbing her file she walked over to Hotch and Morgan, "Hey, here's the Lewis file. I've got a meeting with Strauss."
"Uh oh, Princess" Morgan teased, "What did you do now?"
Narrowing her eyes, "Nothing, Derek Morgan. Not a thing."
Hotch rolled his eyes, as he took the file, "Thanks, Prentiss. No problem, come back up to my office when you're done. I'll need to speak to you privately."
"Sure thing, sir." Emily said shoving her cell phone in her pocket as she head towards the elevator.
Morgan felt his cell phone vibrate, looking apologetically at Hotch, "Excuse me."
Morgan pulled up the text message, frowning as he read it. He grinned then chuckled as he put his phone away and wander over to Emily's desk. Hotch's eyes followed the grinning man in confusion.
"This is going to be so much fun." Morgan said smirking as he looked up to see the double confused faces of Hotch and Reid.
"Morgan, what are you doing at Emily's desk?" Reid asked.
Reid could see Morgan reach under the pile of papers and pull out a thick but small dark green journal. He held it liked he was holding the secrets of the whole world.
"Morgan, what is that?" Hotch asked walking over, his intrigue won out over concern for privacy.
Morgan's face light up like a kid on Christmas morning, "This right here, it the very private thoughts of our Princess."
"What?" Hotch asked shocked.
"That's Emily's diary?" Reid asked, his eyes looking at the book then the men's faces, fear wore his on his own face when the older men stared at the book.
"Are you going to read it?" Hotch asks Morgan looking around seeing that they were Emily Prentiss free.
"Hell yeah," Morgan said cracking open the book.
"Maybe that's not such a good idea, Morgan." Hotch said softly, debating whether to rip the book out of his hands for safe keeping or reading it himself.
Morgan turned to give Hotch a look, "Look if you're too chicken to read it, that's fine by me."
Hotch huffed out a sigh, "Ooh, all right. Fine. But not out here in the open."
"You can't do that." Reid told both of them, "That's private. Those are Emily's private thoughts."
Morgan rolled his eyes, "Whatever."
Hotch looking around again, "You don't want to read it Reid, fine."
Morgan headed towards the break room with Hotch following close behind, keeping an eye peeled for the book's owner.
Both men sat down at the table, staring at the closed journal. Morgan unable to resist the sweet temptation anymore grabbed the journal and opened it staring at it like it was a lifeline.
"Well?" Hotch asked anxious to know what was happening, "What the hell are you waiting for? Read it."
Morgan read out loud, "Dear diary, well it's me again. Duh, obviously, I've had that dream again about him. I know it's wrong to have these kind of thoughts about him since we work together, but I can't help it. I mean have you taken a look at him? He's freaking gorgeous, I'm surprised he hasn't been snatched up to walk the runway or something."
Hotch chuckled at that, "I wonder who Emily's talking about?"
Morgan raised an eyebrow, "She's obviously talking about me. I mean after all I am Princess' best guy friend and the good looking one of the bunch."
Hotch rolled his eyes, "Well I'm no slouch in the looks department myself."
Morgan turned back to the diary, "I know it's wrong to have these dreams about him, since he's in a higher position than myself and as one of an authority figure, but I can't help it. Every time I see him, I have this irresistible urge to jump him in the middle of the bullpen and screw him like there was no tomorrow. I can't even believe I'm writing this, I mean what the hell would the team think? I know Morgan would laugh his ass off if he knew about my mystery man. Heck, I bet he demanded to be the star in that fantasy."
Hotch laughed, looking at Morgan whose face fell at that, "Guess she's not talking about you, Morgan."
Morgan pouted at that, but skipped to another chapter until he found a new section. Turning towards Hotch he smirked at him.
"I am so in love with him, it's not even funny. But I don't think his feelings for me are as intense as mine. Sometimes I don't think he can even stand me, let alone like me. Am I that hideous to be around? Well I better go, diary another case just dropped in my lap." Morgan read out loud.
Hotch felt his heart beat at that, "Do you think she's talking about..."
"You?" Morgan asked, "I don't know."
"Read the latest chapter" Hotch told Morgan, leaning over to look at the diary.
Morgan sighed as he went to the back of the book, reading it over to himself until Hotch grabbed for it.
"What?" Hotch demanded, "What the hell is she writing about me?"
"I don't know..." Morgan paused thinking to himself, "What the hell?"
"Morgan" Hotch asked "What is it?"
Morgan looked up at Hotch about to open his mouth when they seen out of the corner of their eye Emily entering the bullpen.
"There she is" Hotch whispered, watching the brunette walk over to her desk.
They both watched Emily, turn and talk to Reid with a smile on her face. She turned back to the desk going over the papers on the desk when she frowned. She shoved through the pile again and then look up to JJ's office.
"Uh oh" Morgan said looking from Emily to the journal in their hand, "Dear diary, we're dead."
"You mean you are." Hotch said getting up and moving towards the door, "I knew you should have kept your hands off her desk."
Morgan shut the diary, looking around the break room for a hiding spot, "Shit."
Both look over at Reid's desk and notice that not only is Emily there talking to the younger man, but so was Garcia.
Looking over at each other they seen Reid point to them in the break room and grin. Both men watched as a look that could only be described as murderous rage cloud over both women's faces.
"Oh shit" Morgan repeated softly, "Oh shit, oh shit. What the hell do we tell them?"
"We?" Hotch said with a raised eyebrow, "This wasn't my idea at all. In fact I specifically remember telling you not to do this."
Morgan rolled his eyes, "Yeah for ten seconds before you cracked like an egg. Wonder how the hell you ever made it as a prosecutor."
"MORGAN!" Garcia screamed loudly, while Emily ran into the break room aiming for the diary.
"You give that back, Derek Morgan." Emily ordered.
"No" Morgan said with a smirk on his face until Garcia stormed in.
"You give me that diary or I'll bash your face in." Garcia yelled.
Hotch could feel his jaw hit the floor, he was beyond shocked. Garcia was never one to lose her cool, and never direct it at Morgan either.
"Give her the damn book." Hotch muttered, unnerved by the dark brown eyes watching him.
"Fine here." Morgan said tossing it to Emily, "There's your precious diary Princess. Satisfied?"
"Hardly" Emily said handing the journal to Emily, "By the way that's not my diary."
"No?" Hotch asked, "Whose then?"
Emily looked over at Garcia who had her arms folded across her chest, "Mine, my nosey men."
Morgan's head dropped at that, not only did he piss of Emily and Garcia with his snooping, but he read Garcia's diary.
It was official, Derek Morgan was a dead man walking.
"Yours, Baby Girl?" Morgan asked, "Now I know I'm really dead."
Garcia narrowed her eyes, "I'm going to give you the one thing you didn't give me."
"What's that?" Morgan asked, fear evident in his voice.
"A head start." Garcia said rushing at him as he ran out of the bullpen towards the elevator.
Emily chuckled, watching the surprisingly fast technical analyst.
"Should I be worried about his safety?" Hotch asked.
Emily turned back towards Hotch, raising an eyebrow, "You should be more worried about your own. Who the hell do you think you are reading someone's private thoughts? What would possess you to do such a thing?"
Hotch sighed, he knew it was better to be honest then try to pull a fast one on her, "I thought it was yours."
Emily rolled her eyes, "Well I gathered that. Why?"
Hotch looked up at her, sincerity in his eyes, "I wanted to get to know you better. I know it was stupid, and I am sorry."
Hotch seen her exhale at that, she was calming down. Licking her lips she looked up at him.
"It would be easier to just, I don't know talk to me," Emily told him, "Get to know me not my thoughts."
Hotch nodded, "I am sorry."
Emily rolled her eyes, "All right, you're forgiven this time. But you have to go apologize to Garcia."
Hotch chewed his lower lip, "How about after she calms down? When it's safer for me?"
"Ok." Emily said, "Now if you still want to get to know me, then how about taking me to lunch?"
Hotch chuckled his dimples becoming prominent on his face, "Why do I get the feeling that you're trying to score a free lunch out of me?"
Emily turned to walk out the break room she paused and looked back at him, "Call it restitution for my pain and suffering."
Hotch chuckled, relieved he could go to lunch with Emily and not have to worry about Garcia's wrath yet.
The two walked out of the break room and seen Morgan walk by them limping.
"What happened?" Hotch asked his partner in crime.
Morgan looked back at him, "You don't want to know. Believe me."
Garcia strolled by the dark-haired pair, "You're next."
Hotch gulped as he watched the blonde analyst turn on her heel and walk towards her office.
Looking over at Emily, he whispered, "Well it was nice knowing you."
Emily shook her head, "Maybe if you get down on your knees and tell her you did this to win my affection she'll go easy on you."
"I hope so" Hotch whispered seeing Garcia standing by her office door waiting for Hotch, "Wish me luck."
"Hey PG, go easy on him ok?" Emily told her, "I'd like him back in one piece."
"Can't make promises." Garcia said slamming the door behind her after Hotch walked in.
Mae West said, "Keep a diary, and someday it'll keep you."
To Be Continuted...
Well I hope you all enjoyed that, I did. Leave a review and I'll tell you who was the mystery man in Garcia's diary. :D