Hello lovely people!
So some of you might be disappointed as they thought this would be the second part to "I had a dream about you" but rest assured that I will post it very soon... I'm just having some trouble finishing it!
As for this little story, it's nothing serious *as always you'll tell me lol* I wrote it because even though i'm not getting married anytime soon, this might just happen to me because the guy i'm in love with is a total idiot and mark my words he will wait until my wedding to someone else to tell me he loves me too. Or it might just be me who interrupts his wedding to tell him he cannot marry that witch because I can't live my life without him! And we'll both run away to live a happy *blah blah blah yea so now you know a little bit about my life (even though that picture is a typical fairytale and in my opinion happy endings are just stories that haven't ended yet... or they're just words written on paper)*
ANYWAYS! Let me stop with the never ending word-diarrhea! =P
I hope you enjoy the reading. If not well... that's too bad. At least i gave it a try! =)
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Wedding Jitters
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That feeling of nervousness, of anxiety and permanent stress…
Most people call it 'wedding jitters' but I feel as if it's a mental illness.
In exactly four days, I will be marrying Ronald Weasley, the man I've been with for approximately the past 7 years.
He makes me feel safe. He makes me feel beautiful. He loves me. I need nothing more from a man. And yet I'm unsure the feelings I have for him are those of a madly in love woman.
Maybe I'm too young? Or maybe it really is simply the jitters speaking… Either ways, right now, as I'm staring out the window, waiting for my friends and family to arrive, the simple idea of marrying Ron gives me a massive headache. And possibly a heartache as well but the black car I see pulling into the driveway suppresses my thoughts of uncertainty.
With no further thoughts, I leave my room in a sprint, running down the stairs to go meet my maid of honor.
"Ginny!"
I throw myself at her, our arms finding their ways around each other's necks.
"Oh I'm so happy you're here! I haven't seen you in decades!"
"You saw me three days ago 'Mione" she laughs.
"Do I not get a hug?"
That warm voice gives me chills and I spin around, letting Harry pick me up.
"Please explain to me why Ginny had to bring 7 suitcases for a 4 day week end because I just don't get it!" He murmurs to my ear.
I laugh out loud, telling him it's a girl thing and he just shakes his head, turning around to greet my mother.
For the first time in a very long time, I feel happy. I'm not beating myself up over this wedding, I'm not thinking about it as a possible mistake. I'm just laughing, listening to Ginny gossip about Lavender Brown and her new fiancé.
For a moment, I can't help the smile on my lips.
But it gets wiped away as another car pulls up in front of the house.
I feel my body freeze while my lungs seem to be having a hard time pumping the air necessary for my survival.
From the corner of my eye, I see the passenger door open to let Blaise Zabini out, opening the back door to let a blonde girl out as well.
I'm not sure what goes on after that because I can't take my eyes off the person that comes out the driver's side.
"Snap out of it love. You're getting married in 4 days stop drooling over my best mate" Blaise whispers to my ear as he hugs me.
"I don't know what you're talking about Blaise" I say nervously, hitting him on the chest lightly. "Nola!" I smile at his fiancé.
"You need to stop hugging my man for so long Hermione… I'm very jealous you know…"
We hug for a few minutes and when she finally lets go I'm left standing awkwardly in the middle of the group, watching my once enemy say hi to the Harry and Ginny.
It's not long however before he's in front of me.
I don't know what to say. I hadn't seen him in so long…
"Draco…"
My voice sounds like a whisper and I know the others are just as uncomfortable as I am. But I need to get myself together. What happened between us was a long time ago. He certainly forgot about it… At least I hope he did…
"Granger…"
No… He didn't forget about us… And he didn't forgive me either. I could tell by the spark of resentment in his eyes.
"Hermione honey I'll show your friends to their rooms ok"
I love how my mother saves my life every time I'm in these awkward situations.
With a faint smile, I nod, my eyes still locked on Draco Malfoy's grey pupils. The tingling feeling in my stomach is back after 3 years and though his presence is a bit uncomfortable, I'm happy to see him.
With no further thoughts, I throw myself in his arms. I can smell his cologne and after a long minute, I feel his arms around my waist. Weirdly, I don't want to let go of him. And I suppose neither does he because he brings his hand to caress my hair slowly.
"I've missed you…"
The real question is did he miss me as well…?
I know he won't answer. But I had to let him know how I felt. Ever since the end of the war we had been very close. I knew him like the back of my hand back then and he too knew me well. I suppose it is on these grounds we kissed one night. Or maybe it was that tingling feeling I only felt when he was in the parameters that pushed me to respond to that soft kiss.
Nevertheless, I still remember his lips upon mine, his cold touch on my skin and the sound of his heartbeat when I laid my head on his chest that night.
For about two months after that we entertained a 'relationship'. Purely physical perhaps but a relationship all the same. I was happy then… I remember spending every night of every week with him, talking, laughing, and making love.
But it all had to end: Ron asked me out and when Draco found out I had agreed, he stopped talking to me. After that I only ever saw him on special occasions such as weddings and anniversaries and even then we never exchanged more than three words.
For some reason, Blaise is convinced I have feelings for him while Harry and my mother think I'd be better off with Ron and well Ginny simply never mentions anything of my relationship with Draco. Ron is the only one who doesn't know anything on the subject. And he never will, I try to convince myself as the ex-slytherin slowly lets go of me.
"So… how's everything? What have you been doing…?" I start, my voice a little shaky.
With his desperately grey eyes, he looks at me, making me hold my breath for so long I start feeling dizzy. When he finally parts his lips, relieving the fear he might not answer, my fiancé who had just gotten here apparently decides to interrupt us.
"Malfoy! We haven't seen you around in a while! Have you been too busy shagging everything that moves?"
"A man must do what he must Weasel"
They exchange a fervent handshake and for some strange reason, Draco's answer ties a knot in my stomach.
But still, I smile.
"'Mione sweetie you're mom is looking for you…" he says kissing me hello.
I grimace at that stupid cheesy 'sweetie' name Ron called me by. I really hate it for some reason but I've never told him.
To top it off, I see Draco's raised eyebrow as he knows very well I'm not into the lovy nickname thing but I ignore him.
"Well I better go then… She might kill me if I don't go try that wedding dress on…"
"And I sure don't want her to kill my lovely bride before I get to consummate my wedding so go!"
He drops another kiss on my lips and with one last look at Draco I say:
"We'll catch up later Draco! Don't try to escape now because I'll find you!"
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With one quick look at the clock I get up. Reaching for the shot glass on my night table, I down the gold substance in one gulp. A grimace soon distorting my traits, I close my eyes, listening to the soft sound of the wind outside. My stomach starts burning and I finally decide it's time I go see him.
As slowly as possible, I open my door, praying to Allah there won't be any squeaking noises coming from the wooden floor.
And indeed I make it to his room, my tippy toes suffering a great deal of pain from such long distance, my heart pounding louder with every step. Maybe I'm just being a drama-queen here but that is how I'm feeling right this second.
So here I am, standing in front of his door, fidgeting with my fingers. I feel every strand of hair pulling tight on my scalp, but that's because my ponytail is way too tight. My stomach is fighting a battle I have long lost, my lungs are racing a race I cannot keep up with and all the while my brain feels like it's been implanted with multiple detonators which set off every other minute.
I'm no longer sure of my purpose here and yet, my hand finds its way to the door, knocking on it so lightly I don't think he could've possibly heard it.
I'm about to leave when the door opens. With a jump, I turn around only to find the very person I came here to see standing in the doorway, a look of confusion on his face, his blond hair very well flattened on the top of his head despite the fact it is 3 in the morning.
Fighting the alcohol burn, I look into those grey eyes I have never been able to resist, wondering what to say.
"Granger…"
"Draco…" I whisper after a few minutes, still working on what words were to follow.
"Hey"
"Hey…"
A few silent minutes pass and I'm still wondering whether or not I should go back to my room.
"Are you alright?"
"Yes… I just wanted to talk…"
"Well then…" he says, his eyebrow raised slightly, "Do come in…"
I don't know why I'm always relieved whenever he's acting normally with me. It must be a psychological problem I have or something.
Nevertheless I walk in, looking around the room as if expecting him to be with some girl. I don't why I would care but I do. Let's leave it at that.
"So…?"
His voice is neutral. No hate, no excitement. I hate when his voice is neutral. It brings back the years at Hogwarts.
"I've missed you…"
REALLY HERMIONE! You seriously need to work on your choices of subjects!, my other self tells me, but I ignore it. The last thing I need is a debate with my other half.
So I keep my eyes locked on his, waiting for his answer.
It comes eventually but it's not the reply I wanted to hear.
"I know… You've told me that just this morning"
Somewhat mad, I turn around to look out the window. Why can't he be like he used to be before… Why does he have to be so mean!
"I see you needed to drink to work up the courage to come here…"
"I didn't drink!" I whisper.
"And you're lying… I can smell the alcohol from here…"
"I only had one shot it's not like I downed an entire bottle!"
"Why are you here Hermione?"
With his words my entire body freezes. Not only because there is anger in his voice but mainly because he called me by my first name, something he hasn't done since the last night I spent with him.
"I… I just wanted to see you… We haven't talked in so long…"
"That is not my fault sweetie"
At that name, I grind my teeth. I hate it! Especially coming from his mouth.
"Why are you so mad at me Draco?" I spit as I turn around to make out his expression.
A hurtful smirk. That's all I get from him.
"Answer my question Draco!" I say, moving furiously towards him.
"I'm going to ask you this one more time Granger… Why are you here? I have nothing to share with you… my life has been just as boring as it always is so if that is the reason why you're here then you've got your answer. I'd like to go to sleep now if you don't mind."
"I'm not leaving!" I retort, crossing my arms against my chest.
"Well then I'll go get you husband maybe he'll be able to get you to leave my room." He replies angrily.
"He is NOT my husband…"
Right there, I bite my tongue. It seems stupid to say Ron isn't my husband when in three days time he unquestionably will be.
And of course Draco had to raise his eyebrow at my statement, making my uncertainty about my marriage all the more obvious.
"Keep your voice down Granger. I don't want to wake up the whole house. And if you didn't know… In just three days Weasley WILL be your husband… You might as well start getting used to the idea now Mrs. Weasley."
I hate him. I really do. I don't even know why I'm here. I was hoping he would help me sort out the mess in my head but clearly he's only making it all worse. I try to remember why we were so close back then and I can't. All that goes through my mind are our Hogwarts years. And I don't need to say that they give me all the reasons to hate him even more.
"I hate you Malfoy!" I whisper, tears starting to tingle the back of my eyelids.
A look of confusion flies across his face to soon be replaced by anger and at last by that look of neutrality that irked me so much.
"Well then… you'll be happy to know that I too hate you Granger" He says slowly.
The tension between us is about to blow out of proportion. It's like I can feel a thousand electrostatic particles all around the room. Even the air feels too dry.
With one last cold look at me, he opens the door.
I don't want to leave. I want to lay on his chest and listen to his heart beat. And if I had to commit a sin, it'd be to have sex with him right now.
I don't know where all these feelings are coming from but I need to dismiss them.
Stop it! It is Ron you're marrying, I tell myself as I make my way out his room.
I stop for a few seconds in front of him, trying to reassure myself he didn't really hate me but his eyes are colder than usual.
I'm about to leave when a gust of air brings the scent of his cologne to my nose. Just like that, it seems the first night we ever spent together came back in clearer pictures than ever before.
Suddenly, my heart feels like it is being poked by a million needles but somehow I manage to say a few words before I leave to go back to my room:
"Please tell the Draco I knew I miss him…"
My voice sounds like a choked whisper and just as the tears start running down my cheeks, I let the darkness of the hallway embrace me, disappearing into endless shadows.
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So...
Comments? Opinions? It was pretty simple wasn't it? I'm almost ashamed... =S But i thought it might be interesting to put my life story into a fanfic! Pathetic? Maybe... But at least i'm in total control of the end of the story so perhaps it'll end better than my own marriage *if i even ever get married smh!*
lol so there it was! I hope you liked it and a little review might just make me feel better =)
Oh and did I say i'll post the second part to this as soon as possible? Well I will so look forward to it if you liked the first part!
Have a nice dayyy!
Kisses & Hugs,
Mrs Malfoy.
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P.S : For some reason I can't answer the lovely reviews I got for my other story right now so don't be mad at me =( I'll keep trying until I can tell you how much I love you for reviewing or worse case scenario i'll send you a PM =) DON'T TAKE THAT AS AN EXCUSE NOT TO REVIEW THIS STORY NOW GUYS! lol i'll go dance in the rain now since i have nothing better to do! Ciao!