This story is just an excercise in speaking parts - the whole thing is done in dialogue only. If anyone manages to make it all the way to the end, mind telling me what parts made sense and what parts didn't? It would be much appreciated! ^^'
Warnings: Language, slash, JazzxFrederic and implied JazzxCrescendo.
"Hey. I heard you wanted to talk to me?"
"Yes, just a second. I'm almost done with this. You're not busy, are you?"
"Uh, no, not really. Why?"
"Because it is a rather personal matter and I won't detract you from more important affairs to talk about it."
"'A rather personal matter'? Is Serenade okay?"
"She's fine."
"Are you okay?"
"I am fine as well, thank you."
"Would you just turn around and talk to me straight? Now you've got me all worried."
"You're not going to like what I have to say."
"I never like what you have to say, just spit it out. What's going on?"
"I… want to talk to you about Frederic."
"Frederic? I swear, I just left him! What's the matter with him?"
"Sit down, Jazz, you're getting worked up over nothing. I wanted to ask about you and Frederic."
"…Me and Frederic?"
"Your, ah, relationship."
"Oh. S-so you noticed."
"It's hard not to notice when you jump to your feet every time someone mentions his name."
"Saints, can't you ask about that without making it sound so ominous? I thought someone had died!"
"…I need to talk to you about him."
"He's had all his shots, Crescendo, I promise."
"You're hilarious."
"Alright, alright. You want to ask me, ask me. There's not a hell of a lot to tell."
"How long has it been?"
"That we've been together? Seven or eight months, official. Longer if you count crushes."
"And how does he feel about it?"
"Well, he's still here, so I guess he doesn't object too strongly."
"I meant that seriously."
"So did I. Oh, don't give me that look… we don't talk about shit like that. I'm glad he's with me and not still thinking he's stuck in Paris, I'm not going to push my luck."
"And how do you feel about it?"
"Are you trying to be stupid or just obnoxious? I wouldn't be with Frederic if I wasn't happy with him. It's not like I lack options."
"Don't say that! How can you have been with someone for almost a year and still get off talking about your other options?"
"It's true."
"Is this relationship… monogamous?"
"Monogamous? Why the hell do you care?"
"Well?"
"I don't know; Frederic's not really the kind of person to juggle more than one lover at a time."
"I'm not talking about him."
"Jeez, fuck off, Crescendo."
"So is that a 'no'?"
"Look, I didn't come here to play riddles with you. Either hurry up and get to the point or–"
"Okay, fine: how many people have you slept with? Since you started seeing Frederic."
"Why are you so interested in my sex all of a sudden?"
"Because he loves you! Do you even know that? Do you see the way he looks at you, the way he smiles and blushes and leans over close to you like you bring up the sun every day? I'm not going to stand by and watch Frederic get his heart broken, Jazz!"
"What makes you think I'd ever do anything to him?"
"You don't give a damn about anyone but yourself. You never have and we both know you–"
"I love him."
"You don't know what love is."
"I am in love with him. Every morning I wake up and I wonder what he's doing, how he's feeling, how I can possibly make his day just a little bit better because it makes me happy when he's happy. I find excuses to touch him and kiss him, and I care what he thinks and wants and feels. I do stupid things just to see him smile, and I hold his hands and make him eat and tell him to take care because I care and it kills me when he's suffering and I can't do anything to help. If this isn't love, Crescendo, I don't know what the fuck it is!"
"You wouldn't know love if it came up and bit you on the ass. When was the last time you had a relationship with somebody, anybody, that wasn't just for sex?"
"I don't know! I don't know, and I don't know what to do, but I want this – whatever this is – and I swear I'll do anything in my power to keep it."
"Have you seen him, though? Have you seen the way he looks at you, the way acts around you, like you're the only person in the whole wide world? I don't know what this it is to you, Jazz, but I know what it is to him and it's beautiful. It's so goddamned beautiful and I can't bear to see you break that. I can't bear to see you break him."
"I'm not. I mean, gods, Crescendo, how could I ever hurt him when he means so much to me? How could I hurt him when he's the only thing I've got worth living for?"
"I never said you'd do it on purpose."
"I wouldn't–"
"But yet you do! Look Jazz, even if you never did anything to push Frederic away, how's he going to feel when he finds out about all the others? How is he going to take the realization that his lover is just another local Casanova that's slept with more women than he can count on two hands?"
"He… I wasn't going to tell him. But, I mean, he knows about Claves."
"He knows about one girl; what about the other thirty something?"
"That's not me anymore. I don't– I love him!"
"So what are you going to do when he starts wondering if he's just another number? How do you prove that you care if he doesn't even feel like he can trust you when you're away?"
"I can't change that. Saints, I can't change what happened before!"
"Well you'd better start trying!"
"…I know. I know. I have so much I need to prove to him, so many things I need to say, but I just don't have any idea where to start. I mean, saints, how do you explain that feeling of "I'd follow you to the end of the earth and back because I can't imagine living one day without you" without sounding creepy or clingy or desperate?"
"You have to say something or he's going to wonder why you're together at all."
"I don't want him to wonder, but I– how do I change what I did as a kid?"
"Maybe you won't have to."
"What does that mean?"
"Look, Jazz, Frederic loves you. If there was anyone who could forgive you for all the shit you've ever done, it's him."
"How do you know he… did he tell you?"
"It's written all over his face. He's not like you; he doesn't go around hiding his feelings and emotions and pretending they don't exist. He wears his heart on his sleeve."
"Gods, Crescendo, I wish I could do that. I wish I could just put everything out there and admit what I feel and not be ashamed of it. Maybe that's what I love so much about him; he's all these things I know I'll never be."
"He could put you back together if you let him."
"Yeah."
"Do you realize that?"
"Yeah."
"Frederic has put his heart out there for you, and if you let him get close enough he can fix you. He will fix you. But you can't keep pushing this away and assuming everything will work itself out. Face it, Jazz, you're not worth waiting for."
"Jeez, nice pep talk."
"It's true. And you can't expect him to give everything and not get anything back."
"I'm giving, though!"
"How much?"
"… Everything. Everything I have."
"What do you do if that's not enough?"
"I guess I keep trying."
"For as long as it takes?"
"Gods, are you trying to break us up?"
"I'm just afraid. I'm afraid for you and I'm afraid for Fredric, and you're both going to get hurt if you don't take this seriously. I want this to work for you. I want you to be happy, Jazz, I really do, but if you break his heart I'm going to feel responsible for not doing anything to protect him. He doesn't understand what you are or what kind of reputation you have, and if he gets hurt doing this it'll be my fault."
"It's not your responsibility to take care of my love interests, y'know."
"But I feel like it should be. I... I know what it's like to have your heart broken… and I wasn't in love with you the way Frederic is."
"Saints, Crescendo, I didn't– I'm sorry."
"I don't want you to be sorry, Jazz. If I wanted you to be sorry I would have told you how much it hurt a long time ago. But it stings like a bitch, all these years later, and I don't want Frederic to know what that feels like; he deserves more than that. He deserves you, Jazz, and you deserve him, and I want to see you together for a long, long time. I want to be there to watch you getting married in the Aria Temple. I want you to grow old and grey together, and I want you to be happy. But if you hurt him, you're never going to have that chance."
"You really think we could get married?"
"I don't see why not. It might not hold up in Forte, but I could marry you here in Baroque and it would be irrefutable for as long as you stayed within the borders."
"He wouldn't want that."
"You've already talked about it?"
"No, but… he wouldn't want all the fuss of a wedding."
"But maybe he would want the comfort of knowing you'rereally his."
"Yeah. Maybe."
"You don't have to worry about that now, anyway. That's a long ways away still."
"Can you imagine, though? Can you imagine being able to go around saying you're married to your best friend, to your soul mate? I mean, gods, I sound like a sappy girl, but that sounds like such a wonderful title. Husband."
"It is."
"I want that. I want to have a ring on my finger to remind myself of who I've got waiting at home for me… I want what you and Serenade have."
"You have what we do, Jazz, you just don't know it. You keep turning away from it."
"This isn't it, though. It's hard and scary and frantic and I'm so worried he's going to leave and I'm not enough and what if he doesn't want what I want and what do I do then because I can't keep going alone."
"Yeah, I know. It's ugly when you get down to it."
"I want the soft part, where you kiss and hold and cry and make love and give love and lie awake just to hear them breathing. I want the part where we dance for the sake of dancing and stand together holding hands in the summer rain."
"That's part of it, too. Love is a twisted, revolting, fucked up little thing, and you have to work hard at it to see how gorgeous it can be… but it is gorgeous."
"Frederic shouldn't have to work at this."
"He's going to anyway."
"He has this romanticized version of life that I don't want to ruin for him."
"Frederic has been with people before, Jazz. He's not totally stupid."
"…Oh."
"Jazz? You didn't really think you were his first, did you?"
"No, of course I didn't. I just– I never thought about it, I guess. He acts like he's brand new to all of this."
"He has never been with someone like you before."
"Hmph. You say that like it's a bad thing."
"Time has yet to tell."
"Why so serious, princey? We're in love, remember?"
"I wish you would be a little more serious. I'm not saying all this shit just to hear myself talking."
"You know me, Crescendo. I joke when I'm nervous."
"Are you nervous?"
"Hell yeah, I'm nervous. I'm terrified. And I wasn't an hour ago before you dragged me down here to discuss my sex life."
"Don't you wink at me, Jazz. I haven't been flattered by your advances since we were kids."
"And hardly at all, then."
"Hm."
"Crescendo?"
"Hm?"
"Did you mean what you said… about us?"
"That it still hurts?"
"Yeah."
"Yes."
"Do you wish things would have turned out different?"
"I don't know. No, I suppose, because I wouldn't trade what I have now for what I could have had back then. But I do wish it could have ended differently, less abruptly. Less painfully."
"Only true whirlwind romances end like that."
"So they tell me."
"'Scendo?"
"What?"
"I'm sorry."
"...Me, too."
"I do love you, you know."
"I know. It wouldn't have gotten that far if you hadn't."
"I'm glad you and Serenade are happy. I… I really wish you both the best. If anyone has a right to be content it's you two."
"I wish you both the same. There's so much death and blood and disease and war and famine, what we really need is love. What you really need is love. And I want you to know that if either of you – any of you – ever need anything, I will do whatever is in my power to help. No matter the personal cost to me."
"Even a fag marriage?"
"I… You shouldn't–!"
"What's a matter, princey, cat got your tongue?"
"I-I wish you would not use such terms, Jazz. They are so extraordinarily offensive that it is almost rude to use them to refer to yourself, even if you are joking."
"Who said I was joking? And drop the prim and proper façade. You're the guy who started swearing in my face as soon as I walked in the door."
"You're going to get yourself killed over your terminology of choice, you know."
"Wouldn't be the first thing to get me killed. But… I wasn't kidding about the marriage."
"I already told you I would."
"It's a lot to ask."
"Since when have you cared if something was too much to ask?"
"I just…"
"Say the word, Jazz, and it'll be official. And don't worry about what they're going to say; don't listen to them. I will defend your right to love whoever the fuck you want to love to the very end."
"I owe you."
"You owe me for a lot of things."
"Yeah."
"C'mon, it's late, and if we stay here much longer the people will start talking again."
"What, you don't want to be a scandal?"
"What did I just tell you about winking at me? Besides, I'm enough of a scandal without your help, thanks."
"Well if you change your mind, you know where to find me."
"Goodnight, Jazz."
"G'night. And, Crescendo?"
"What now?"
"Thanks. For… for everything. Thanks for still giving a damn after all these years. I– it means a lot."
"Don't flatter yourself. I'm concerned for your prey's best interests, not yours."
"Yeah, 'cuz I'm sure Frederic would appreciate that analogy."
"I was under the impression you were smart enough to know not to tell him."
"Don't you have better things to do than insult me?"
"As I am sure you have better things to do than sit here and listen to me insulting you."
"Yeah, yeah, I'm going. Goodnight. See you tomorrow."
"You're coming to the conference, aren't you?"
"Of course I am. Half that shit is my fault."
"Good. I don't want to face the whole ravenous Fortisian Army all by myself."
"Serenade's not going to be there?"
"I would rather not be a widower quite yet."
"Oh, yeah. She seems so much like family now, I keep forgetting. Well, maybe I'll bring Frederic and he can protect us both."
"Were you not listening to a single word of that whole conversation?"
"No, I'm serious, he's been wanting to come. We've talked about him moving to Andante with me, but I don't want to drag him down there if he's going to be miserable, so I told him I wouldn't consider it until he became more familiar with the politics of the whole thing."
"You could both stay here, you know. Now that the rebellion doesn't need constant supervision."
"I'll tell him that. I think he'd be happier here."
"Please do."
"So… can I have a kiss goodbye?"
"No. Get out."
"You're no fun."
"I have to get up before sunrise tomorrow, Jazz. The longer you keep me awake the less fun I get."
"You started this whole thing!"
"And now I am ending it. Goodnight."
"Wouldn't want to disrupt his majesty's beauty sleep any further."
"Don't you have a lover to go swear yourself to?"
"Yeah, when you put it that way. See you in the morning."
"Good luck."
"… with any luck I won't need it."